Help Help Help Help

Due to unforeseen circumstances I now have taken in
the kitty my mom was supposed to adopt. She has been with me now since Sat. afternoon She is a very sweet 4 year old Somali girl. The problem is my 17 month old very jealous Bengal boy.

Right now I have her all set up with litterbox, food & water in my Den. My boy has the run of the house. At first everything seemed quite calm but then he must have realized that she would be here to stay. Ok, she is no angel either since where she came from has been known to bully other cats around. However, in the mornings when I let my little boy into the Den, under strict supervision of course, for a getting to know you session he starts out calm enough but within 10 min. he is so hyped up that he starts going after her with his claws out. She growl and hisses. When I am gone during the day he must sit out side the door of the Den and get himself so wound up because when I try the same again in the evening I have psycho kitty on my hands. Last night and this morning I removed him from the Den as soon as he went into psycho kitty mode and I got any more scratches trying to protect her.

When I am inside the den alone with her he is outside screaming his heart out to the point where I can't bear it anymore and of course I go outside to be with him, ok he accomplished is mission. But this is not enough, he still sits out side the door, sniffs and wants to get back in. I put up a netting on Sunday, in lieu of a screen door, attached to the door frame of den. Still not good enough, same scenario as with closed door and he actually managed to squeeze himself through a spot that seems just big enough for him to get in.

Now what - is tough love in order? Do I let them fight it out? She has trimmed claws and my boy has talons. If I would have know I would gotten them clipped ahead of time but can't get to his claws right now and bringing him to groomer would be a disaster since he would probably think I was trying to get rid of him. He is my baby I would never do that!

I want this to work sooooooooooooooooooooo badly. She already has my heart and I would be heart broken if I had to give her up. I hope I am not too selfish, I just want us all to be a "happy family."

What can I do? I have never been in this situation before. Please help.

Thanks so much!

Helen

My suggestions are going to be different for you that they would be for cats who have not been aggressive. Aggression is very difficult to break once it has happened, so you are going to need to be very careful and to introduce them VEEEEERY slowly.

They need to be completely separated for at least a week. Actually...since he has already attacked her, you probably will need to conpletely separate them for more than a week because he now has to unlearn the aggression. If you keep letting him be in the room with her, he will continue to be aggressive. Don't let them be together until he is bored with her. As long as he is all angry about her being in the house, he will attack her whenever he has a chance.

So....keep them completely separated. Keep her in the den only and don't let your male in. After one week, lock your boy up and let the new cat roam around for several hours or while you're at work. Then, lock her back up and let your boy back out. Do this every day for one week.

During these two weeks rub the new cat with a towel and then rub your boy with the same towel so they can begin exchanging scents.

After two weeks, put each kitty in a carrier and sit the carriers several feet away from each other. While they are in the carriers make sure they can see each other and give them both a very yummy treat (like tuna). Do this several times a day every day for another week. This way they learn to be with eachother in a safe way and to associate eachother with good things (treats).

Finally, after this third week is over, try giving them treats outside their carriers in the same room. Make sure the any aggression is stopped immediately because once it starts it will continue forever.

Good luck.....remember to go slooooow!

lotsocats:

Thanks so much for the detailed plan. I am willing to try anything. One more thing. During the time where I keep them seperated I will of course spend time with whoever is confined to the Den. When my guy is in there no problem, no screeming no wailing. When she is the Den and he has to wait outside I will have a screaming feast going. What is your suggestion on how long I should limit my visits with the lady in order not to agarvate the situation.
5 Minutes, 10 Minutes, etc. What do you think?

Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Helen

Wow! He really is jealous, isn't he?!

You don't want to reinforce his yowling, so I would be careful to only leave the den when he is quiet. If he thinks that you will come out if he yowls long enough, he will continue to yowl. So, I would try to out last him. Try giving him a treat right before you go into the den and another as soon as you come out. But, again, make sure he has been quiet for about a minute before you come back out. Giving a treat will help him associate the girl kitty with good things.

Also, if he is really upset (and it sounds like he is) you might give him some Bach's Rescue Remedy. If you put 3 to 4 drops in a little canned food about 15 minutes minutes before you go into the den, he will be more mellow. You can find this wonderful stuff at most health food stores.

Also, if your boy is not neutered yet, this is probably a big part of the problem. If he is not neutered, having the female in the house will make it likely that he begins spraying. So, having him fixed right away would help a whole lot (if that hasn't already been done).

You have no clue how jelouse! Got it - this will be the part I call tough love and I will have to be strong and not give in! You see when I got him at 7 months he was a rescue who was not socialized at all!!! Now he is attached to me like velcro and maybe it is also my fault for catering to him too much. My mother keeps telling me that I do not realize how much he actually is attached to me.

He was neutered at 7 months so problem. and I have ordered something call stress relief (it is all natural the ingredience are: Ginseng, Alfalfa, Oatstraw, Hawthorne, Chamomile and St. John's Wort. I'll also get a bottle of Bach's as back up incase this does not work - I was seriously considering this anyway!!!

Thanks again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Helen