I'm back with another pregnant stray

Sheeren I think you have misread. The big decision was whether to have the kitties aborted before the spaying.

Yes, I understood the debate.

AND I would support her decision if she had gone the other way.
I do believe that Heidi is the only one really capable of making the right decision in her situation.
I have had to make the same decision on numerous occasions and depending on the circumstances I have gone both ways.
The kittens who have been born because of my decisions have a forever home with me AND they have or will be soon spayed and neutered.
I don't believe I am taking away a home for a shelter cat either. Because there are so many homeless cats where I live. I have taken a lot of them in so I would not be going to a shelter to adopt a cat under the circumstances.
I believe that if there is any way possible the unborn kittens deserve a chance especially if they are near term.
I have a mother cat who was scheduled to be spayed/aborted on April 9. I had a change of heart and cancelled that appointment. She delivered 4 kittens on April 11. I knew she was pretty far along but I had no idea she was that close to delivery. The kittens are strong and healthy and I have already spoken to my friend who has them spayed/neutered and she told me they could do them as well as their mother when it is time.
And the battle with Mother Nature continues. Which is no easy task as we all well know.
Love and Life,
Nan

Shereen, I do understand your position here, but it is not that simple nor straightforward for many people who care about rescuing ferals. It is an odd position to value life and be willing to kill it. Some cannot reconcile that. Others just see it as a numbers issue. But there is no right or wrong here. The bottom line is that all of us value life, even though we may choose different ways to deal with helping it.

I'm sorry you believe people who are pro-life are a part of the problem, for there will always be members at TCS who make that decision. While we respect your position, I hope with time you will be able to come to respect theirs, especially when they are being responsible in the way they manage this decision.

We are here to educate and to provide opinions, but we hope that members will be open minded and responsive to those handling things in a responsible manner, even if it is not the choice you would make.

I consider those who dump a stray non-spayed cat back on the streets as part of the problem.

Sheeren....Heidi has caught the stray again and now she will be able to fix both the stray cat and her kittens...thus being part of the solution.

As Laurie had astutely pointed out to me...we all make mistakes...and as long as we learn from them...we can certainly turn things around and make a positive change.

Katie

Katie, I couldn't have said it better myself. If we could turn back the hands of time, there are many, many things I'm sure any of us who rescue would do differently. I know I made many, many mistakes along the way. I'm just glad I found a place like TCS where I could both learn and find support. I believe that what determines whether or not we're part of the problem is whether or not we learn from those mistakes, not whether or not we make them.

It makes me really sad to find that honesty here is met with judgement and condemnation. I come to tcs to share my experiences and learn from others, not to be beaten down because of my actions. It's such negativity that makes me seriously contemplate giving up on rescuing at all. If I'm part of the problem I might as well save my time, energy and money and let someone else pick up the slack.

That being said, I'd be curious to know what others would have done with a stray cat at 9:00 pm if they had no place to turn to. As I mentioned I contacted all of the local rescue groups and my local animal shelter but no one was accepting new animals or they didn't even bother returning my calls. I couldn't bring her into the house because 1) she hadn't been to a vet and I didn't want her infecting my other animals 2) my boyfriend refused to let me bring her inside.

Regardless of whether I released her that night or not, the damage had already been done and she was already pregnant. My actions that night wouldn't have changed that fact. I am doing the best that I can with what I have and I'm really becoming tired of feeling so beat up on this board.

I love animals very deeply and it really bothered me the night I had to release Lola. If I had had another option I would have taken it, but I was out of choices. I let her go that night knowing that I would continue to care for her, feed her, and try to find a place for her to go. Since then I've taken her to the vet and brought her into my home to deliver her litter. I am doing everything in my power. I'm sorry if you don't feel that's enough.

Hi Heidi, remember me? I don't consider one person's opinion directed your way as a beating up. I look at it as this person has one point of view, she is sticking to it, and it doesn't matter what people say to her, she will not change her mind. I would be interested to know her background, for I know of yours based on the Pm's you and I have shared.

When I started rescuing over 14 years ago, aborting the kittens never entered into the equation. Over time, with more irresponsible people not spaying and neutering the feral cat population has exploded and for rescuers who do this 24/7 the only option now is to do the difficult thing and take the cat in to be spayed regardless if she is pregnant or not. BUT for someone who does not actually get into rescue, but sort of falls into it because of a kind-heart, it is oftentimes hard to come to the realization that in order to save lives, you must make the decision to have a vet take them.

I have talked to over 5 vets in the last oh- probably 6 years on this subject, and I have not met one that will admit that aborting kittens does not bother them. On the contrary, they are affected by what they have to do, but they understand the problems that will result if they don't.

It is not an easy decision to make, and once made, not easy to live with.

Again, I do not see a gang beating you up, I see that you have passion and caring and sensitivity and you are affected by what others think. You have to do what makes you comfortable to live in your skin, and once you open yourself up in such a way as you have in your posts here, you invite all to respond. You just have to learn to take the negative with the positive and find a happy way to get along without reacting.

Shereen, you would make your argument more plausible if you offered explanations instead of just one-liners that usually are put out there to start arguments and not resolve problems. This is a cat welfare board, those of us who are old-timers are very pro-active spay and neuter and all of us came here at one time to learn and grow which we have.

Heidi....it was very brave indeed of you to share your story and you should not let the posts here (positive or negative) disuade you from continuing to share. As Hissy and LDG pointed out..this is a topic that has lots of opinions..but no clearcut answers.

Did you do the right thing?? That is a question only you can answer and you must remember that some people are going to look at your situation with a pair of completely different eyes and state how they would have done things differently...well, that is all well and good...but doesn't change your current situation. I think the only thing that I would urge (and I know you have heard this too numerous times to mention..but I only say it for those who read this post and haven't heard this for the 1 millionth time) is that you find an organization that will help you with spaying the momma stray and the kittens.

I will confess, I was sooo sad on Sunday...I have volunteered with Alley Cat Allies for almost a year and I know things happen...I know cats die...but I had a cat die on my watch...and it was heartwrenching..and I'd do anything to turn back the clock and watch her more closely to see if I could have saved her...or I would have taken her out of her cage and held her while she crossed the bridge. Unfortunately, I didn't get that chance.

We all do what we believe to be the BEST thing at that moment...doesn't mean that a day or two or even a week or a month later we would have done things differently...but we must reconcile within ourselves that we can only ever have so much insight or so much knowledge. We make mistakes so that we can become better people...better rescuers. I think it would be a shame to let your gift of compassion be dampened by one post...by one situation. Instead...recognize what a truly amazing thing you have done by opening a post where people could share opinions...and where a new person in a similiar situation can feel like they aren't alone.

Katie

I would like to tell you I'm sorry that you were offended by my post but the truth is I'm not. I am sorry that you don't understand what was done wrong. I'm also sorry that this board isn't what I expected. I certainly wasn't expecting a board that coddled stupidity. Am I harsh? I suppose so....but then so is seeing hungry/dying/pregnant STRAYS (not ferals) that at some point in the cats life someone could have broken the cycle. Unfortunatley, in this cats case, it wasn't

You wanted to know what I would have done at 9pm? I would have put her in my spare bedroom/basement/bathroom... whatever.. Boyfriend doesn't understand??? IMO, he's not worth the worry.

I don't understand how you can say the cycle hasn't been broken in Lola's case. She was pregnant when I first took her to my neighbor but rather than having her kittens out in the neighborhood she's now in my house, where she will deliver her kittens and be cared for until they are all spayed/neutered and re-homed. If that isn't breaking the cycle I don't know what is. Chance, Charity & her 3 kittens, and Lola and her impending litter have all been taken in by me, altered, and re-homed. I can't even calculate the number of unwanted kittens that have been prevented by my hand.

I'm sorry that you feel the need to take your anger out on me. I feel good about the work that I've done with the strays in my neighborhood and I'm not going to let you change that. Anyone that knows me knows what a kind heart I have and that I've already done more than most to help the homeless animals in my area. Maybe you need to reconsider what the avg person would have done in my position (ie not even given a stray cat a second glance) before you start berrating me for the efforts I've made.

In my experience a good person doesn't need to put out another's flame to make their's glow brighter. Luckily for me most of the people here at TCS are supportive, caring and helpful. If this doesn't describe you and you are as disappointed by the positivity and camaraderie that you've found here as you say you are, perhaps TCS just isn't for you. I wish you luck in finding a forum that will meet your expectations.

~Heidi

Heidi, I'm so glad that despite the varying opinions and the way some of them have been expressed that you still feel good about the work you've done with the strays in your area. You should.

However, I also want to add - I think there's a huge distinction between "stupidity" and lack of experience. I don't agree with Shereen that any of us here are coddling stupidity.

Heidi, I don't think your decisions were stupid. We all have different priorities in our lives. I don't think you made a stupid decision in turning out Lola as opposed to turning out your boyfriend. Perhaps you have a garage, but if that didn't occur to you, I don't consider you stupid. Maybe it did occur to you, but it's a dangerous place for kitties! We have a relationship with our vet that would enable us to call them, have someone meet us there, and we could drop off the cat. That, however, is indicative of someone doing "volume" business. For the "non-intensive" rescuer, that's not often an option. Personally, I would have had Lola spayed before attempting to adopt her out, but again, that's not something that occurs to someone fairly new to rescue. It is exactly things like this that we learn over time. However, in this case, as it turns out, Lola was already pregnant! The vet would have informed you of this, and we'd be exactly where we are.

I don't expect everyone that comes here to be focused only and solely on stray or feral cats, and to make them the priority over all other issues in their lives. I hope I can help people avoid the mistakes I did and make informed decisions based on the knowledge I've gained over time. And I congratulate anyone that has a heart and wants to make a difference in the life of a homeless animal.