Rather than hijack someone else's grieving thread, I thought I would start my own.
Most likely this will be my cat's last week on earth. I want to know what I could do with myself and with him for this little bit of time.
Thaddeus was with me for 20 years. He followed me through several homes, through several jobs and one major career change and three big relationships. He's a funny, independent, and very stubborn kitty. When he was a kitten, and I took him to the vet for his first checkup, the vet said "Oh he has a 'bad boy' face." Which was accurate and would be true throughout his life.
When he was 17 a vet told me his kidney functions were weak. I watched his diet, and he persisted somewhat normally for several years. At this time (and still), I'm experiencing considerable financial hardships so it was difficult for me to take him to the vet. But he persisted, and I hope happily, for another few years. I gave myself 5 points to judge his quality of life - eating well, drinking well, using the litterbox, cleaning himself and being social. He was constantly all of that and still playful too to some extent. In fact, despite the fact that he was skinny, when we took him to the vet last year, they said that he looked good for a cat of nineteen.
My current partner, the one who knows him best, says that he's too stubborn to know how to behave when he's sick. A few months after my last cat died in 2015 Thaddeus started to have grand mal seizures. This happened maybe three times over the span of six weeks. Vet checked his blood, confirmed kidney disease, but I didn't have the money to do further tests. The doctor told us to keep observing him and prescribed valium in case we needed it. He actually never had a strong seizure ever again, but I'm sure it affected him. Still he persisted for another year until now, his 5 points still being very present, with the added bonus of some playfulness. But he sleeps more, and he's twitchy and disoriented at times.
We took him to the vet because an abscess in his mouth I didn't know existed began to drain blood everywhere. The vet confirmed the abscess, gave us painkillers and antibiotics. She suggested tooth extraction, but with heavy caution because of his age and how frail he was. At this point he was very dehydrated and very underweight. He has no fat or muscle mass at all. But despite that, he's still persisting. We can't give him the kibble he loves anymore, so we've been feeding him his favourite Fancy Feasts. He's still begging for food. He's drinking. He's somewhat cleaning himself. I can't judge if he's being social with us yet. The vet confirmed what I kind of suspected deep down... he's in pain and in constant state of discomfort and she gave me the "our greatest gift to our beloved pets" speech.
I can go into more debt and fight to keep him with us longer. But I know that's not the right decision. It's so hard because the 5 points are still there! I've been thinking of his end for the past year, but I'm not prepared. Even now, he seems like he's eating more, and he looks better than he has for the past few weeks, I'm doubting this decision big time right now. I keep telling myself, he's twenty, and he's sick and might not get better. What if it's not as bad as anyone thinks? What if he's fine for another two years. Or what if he only seems fine but he's hiding it as cats tend to do.
I can give him all the things he loves and shower him with affection. But what can I do to get ready for this?
Most likely this will be my cat's last week on earth. I want to know what I could do with myself and with him for this little bit of time.
Thaddeus was with me for 20 years. He followed me through several homes, through several jobs and one major career change and three big relationships. He's a funny, independent, and very stubborn kitty. When he was a kitten, and I took him to the vet for his first checkup, the vet said "Oh he has a 'bad boy' face." Which was accurate and would be true throughout his life.
When he was 17 a vet told me his kidney functions were weak. I watched his diet, and he persisted somewhat normally for several years. At this time (and still), I'm experiencing considerable financial hardships so it was difficult for me to take him to the vet. But he persisted, and I hope happily, for another few years. I gave myself 5 points to judge his quality of life - eating well, drinking well, using the litterbox, cleaning himself and being social. He was constantly all of that and still playful too to some extent. In fact, despite the fact that he was skinny, when we took him to the vet last year, they said that he looked good for a cat of nineteen.
My current partner, the one who knows him best, says that he's too stubborn to know how to behave when he's sick. A few months after my last cat died in 2015 Thaddeus started to have grand mal seizures. This happened maybe three times over the span of six weeks. Vet checked his blood, confirmed kidney disease, but I didn't have the money to do further tests. The doctor told us to keep observing him and prescribed valium in case we needed it. He actually never had a strong seizure ever again, but I'm sure it affected him. Still he persisted for another year until now, his 5 points still being very present, with the added bonus of some playfulness. But he sleeps more, and he's twitchy and disoriented at times.
We took him to the vet because an abscess in his mouth I didn't know existed began to drain blood everywhere. The vet confirmed the abscess, gave us painkillers and antibiotics. She suggested tooth extraction, but with heavy caution because of his age and how frail he was. At this point he was very dehydrated and very underweight. He has no fat or muscle mass at all. But despite that, he's still persisting. We can't give him the kibble he loves anymore, so we've been feeding him his favourite Fancy Feasts. He's still begging for food. He's drinking. He's somewhat cleaning himself. I can't judge if he's being social with us yet. The vet confirmed what I kind of suspected deep down... he's in pain and in constant state of discomfort and she gave me the "our greatest gift to our beloved pets" speech.
I can go into more debt and fight to keep him with us longer. But I know that's not the right decision. It's so hard because the 5 points are still there! I've been thinking of his end for the past year, but I'm not prepared. Even now, he seems like he's eating more, and he looks better than he has for the past few weeks, I'm doubting this decision big time right now. I keep telling myself, he's twenty, and he's sick and might not get better. What if it's not as bad as anyone thinks? What if he's fine for another two years. Or what if he only seems fine but he's hiding it as cats tend to do.
I can give him all the things he loves and shower him with affection. But what can I do to get ready for this?
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