I may have separated two siblings

bwilson

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Recently my girlfriend adopted a 2 year old male stray we had been feeding and named him Dexter. Dexter has been with us for about a week now and is adjusting to his new life indoors. He is currently isolated from our other two resident cats and is recovering from being neutered last Friday.

When he was still outdoors and we were feeding him another stray/feral would sometimes come eat food we left out for Dexter. Dexter was definitely someone pet at some point as he is super friendly and trusting. This other cat runs at the slightest sound but we have continued to leave food out for her. This morning we were spending some time with Dexter when this other cat was outside the window of Dexters room. They began meowing and blinking to each other. I now feel like I separated the two. I don't know if they are siblings or friends as Dexter was a stray but this cat might be a feral. Do stray and ferals become friends? Could two siblings living outside develop different attitudes towards humans? We absolutely can't take another cat in right now or else I would take this other cat in too. They have some similar colors, and I think this cat is a female. We can continue to feed her but other than that I'm not sure how to help and I feel guilty if we did separate these two. Any advice would be appreciated.
 

ondine

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Blessings on you for helping Dexter and now for worrying about his sibling/friend.

Depending on their personalities, and perhaps what was done to them, they could definitely have different opinions of humans.  It has been said that girls are more cautious, perhaps because they need to think about their kittens as well as themselves.

At the very least, can you trap her and have her fixed?  You may be overrun with kittens otherwise.

If possible, you can bring her in with Dexter and socialize them at the same time.  It will do her good to see him interacting with you.

An intermediate suggestion is to build her a catio, where she's outside but with shelter, food and safety from the dangers outside cats face.
 
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bwilson

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ondine ondine thanks for the response. My only worry with building some form of shelter for her is I rent an apartment and I dont know how my landlord would feel about me inviting stray cats to stay on his property. I'm sure he probably wouldn't be too fond of me feeding her either but I had to do something to help her. I've thought about trapping her and at least having the vet spay and do some basic vaccines. I just feel terrible I can't take both cats in. I also wish i knew if they are actually related/friends or if they are just two independent strays coming to the same house for food. Im going to work on building trust with the female outside and maybe I can at least get her to a vet.
 

Primula

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Do stray and ferals become friends?
Absolutely. Cats in a colony can become very close to each other. But would I remove a cat from a colony and have it fixed and adopted? Absolutely.

I would not agonize over this if I were you. But what we usually advocate is not to feed a cat unless you are going to have it fixed. In other words, don't feed to breed. The best thing for the outside female is to take her to a shelter if you think she is adoptable and have her fixed. A female unfixed cat outside can have two to three litters a year.
 

ondine

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Yes, at the very least, trap her and have her fixed and vaccinated.  At least that way, she will tend to stay close to her feeding area.  If you can, provide some sort of shelter for her.

You could also explore re-homing her, with the understanding that she will need socializing.  Get in touch with a rescue organization near you for some help.  They may not be able to, as it is kitten season but ask around - friends, family, your vet.  Anyone who may have a lead.
 
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