Moving in with 2 older cats. My cat is marking . HELP !!!

Hello cat people. 
I am moving in soon with my Boyfriend and he has 2 older female cats. I have a 8 year old male. All have been neutered or spayed and front claws declawed. 
I have taken my cat over to meet his and it didn't go very well. My cat is now marking . I had to bring him back to my place after a week of this behavior.
He is now also marking at my house when I come back after being gone overnight  We have been adding "Calming" drops to water and spraying "NO mark"  everywhere.
  I also did the , let them smell the others hair that I had brushed for weeks before.We could really use some advice here. 
 

Hi,

This is normal for such a big change. It happens just changing houses but add in changing houses with two unknown (threats to your boy) cats and it is territorial insecurity. 

So here is what we need to do. We need to start the formal introduction process. Here are some helpful links.

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/the-ultimate-yet-simplified-guide-to-introducing-cats

http://www.catbehaviorassociates.com/a-simple-little-trick-to-use-during-new-cat-introductions/

http://www.aspca.org/pet-care/virtual-pet-behaviorist/cat-behavior/introducing-your-cat-new-cat

http://jacksongalaxy.com/2010/10/01/cat-to-cat-introductions/

We need to keep them totally separated. Feed on each side of a closed door to start. During this time please step up play with him in his room. Good play sessions, after play feed treats or a meal. This builds confidence and replicates their instinct of Hunt, Capture, Kill, Eat. The more confident he is the less intimidated he will be with the boyfriends cats. Get him a cat tree for him to go high in that room. Also scratching posts. We want him to feel comfortable and confident in that room and to "own" that territory. Then we slowly get him to associate the resident cats (boyfriends) with good things. Also, give him love and be as calm and confident around him as possible. We need to build his confidence and to own that territory. Then we slowly introduce them and expand your boy's territory. Scent swapping will happen down the road, for now just feed on each side of a closed door.

It is a process but I am happy to help every step of the way. It does take time. Stepping up play is really important. Get him to really "Hunt, Capture, Kill, Eat".

Please feel free to ask anything anytime. I am here to help you.

I don't agree with the declawing, the cats do not benefit from it, I don't understand what the get out of it, how will they defend themselves in a bad situation.. But it takes time for cats to get along. When I first let my used to be kitten(s) out for the first time my other cat was ANGRY for a few months but now he loves them. Time is key.

Not out as in outside, I meant out as in outside my room for the first time. Just clearing that up.

Agreed Nathaliewhite. Time and process, 

This works, no matter what, its a miracle.  Feliway  ( also known as Comfort Zone ) spray.  You get Feliway  aka  Comfort Zone SPRAY  (they also make plug ins but they won't work quickly )  Spray the spray every 12 hours directly on spots where the cat pees, and also anywhere else that he MIGHT pee.  Make sure you spray it every 12 hours.  They won't pee there any more.  I had the same situation with a neutered male cat and I brought in a litter of foster kittens and he started up, even though they were in a distant bathroom.  Sometimes it can happen when feral cats get too close to the house, even if your male is a house cat.  

I have done reviews on both the Feliway Comfort Zone Spray and the plug ins in the REVIEWS section of this site.  Please read them, this stuff has never failed and I know that time is of the essence.

Nothing works as fast and as completely as this spray.  You can get it on Amazon and its about $15 a bottle.  Get two bottles and continue to use it daily, every 12 hours.  Sometimes they can send it overnight or two day air, sometimes for free if you are an Amazon Prime member.  Keep us posted.  Oh and it won't stain the carpet.

Thanks for all the good info. I am saving these links to show my BF.  Keeping fingers crossed !!

You are welcome. We need your bf to buy into the process as cats take on our emotions and the more calm and confident and loving the humans are the more the cats are.

We are here for you any time.