Socializing my feral Panda Bear - advice and encouragement?

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patiently

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Will do, @1CatOverTheLine. He just took some chicken from my hand from his corner, so at least we're not mortal enemies.
 
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patiently

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A picture of Panda Bear pouting by the window. He falls into spells of mewling and looking for ways to escape out of it. I put the tree against it because he was getting roughed up jumping against the window from the dresser and falling to the floor. So this gives him easier access to it for inspection, but minimizes injury...

He looks so much better now that he's let me groom him, at least. And returned a few slow blinks today. 

 

theyremine

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Some words of encouragement.   My Rascal was to be TNRed  by the rescue group I volunteer for but at vetting he was found to be infested with lung worms and suffered from severe herpes.  I took him in( at 7months old.)  after he had been treated for the worms.  He attacked me regularly as he had learned that attacking the person who brought food caused her to drop the food and leave.  He also attacked if you approached his timid sister ( also sick)  My vet gave me meds for the herpes that I could give orally and I no longer had to scruff to medicate them.  Three years later Rascal is the biggest lap cat and his sister comes running for her "kitty massages".  Neither shows any interest in the outside other than looking out the windows.  Good luck!
 

segelkatt

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You've had him for only a week and are considering to let him go already? Heck, even a cat from a shelter that may have been a stray would not yet act like this one does. He sounds like a cat that used to have a home and has not yet adjusted to a new home. Give this tuxedo boy a chance, he will take weeks if not months to act like a common house cat.  I have a cat who even after almost 3 years still acts like a fool, scared of everything and panics at the sight of everyone but me. And he was not a stray, just a cat who had a bad home. 

Panda Bear sounds like a stray, not a feral, so give this pretty boy a home and love him a lot, let him come to you on his terms, it may take longer than you think it should. Just don't let him out again, he doesn't have enough sense to know that the outside will kill him at a young age.
 
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patiently

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You've had him for only a week and are considering to let him go already? Heck, even a cat from a shelter that may have been a stray would not yet act like this one does. He sounds like a cat that used to have a home and has not yet adjusted to a new home. Give this tuxedo boy a chance, he will take weeks if not months to act like a common house cat.  I have a cat who even after almost 3 years still acts like a fool, scared of everything and panics at the sight of everyone but me. And he was not a stray, just a cat who had a bad home. 

Panda Bear sounds like a stray, not a feral, so give this pretty boy a home and love him a lot, let him come to you on his terms, it may take longer than you think it should. Just don't let him out again, he doesn't have enough sense to know that the outside will kill him at a young age.
Thanks, @segelkatt.

What you say is interesting... He is ​very handsome, which makes me wonder sometimes if he wasn't somebody's kitty. He looks like the kind of long-haired floof a backyard breeder might try for. But he's really young (perfectly, perfectly white teeth) and was intact and covered in fleas and bugs... so if he had a home, who knows for how long. But I have been surprised by how tolerant he is of me, relatively speaking. 

I'm VERY new to rescuing kitties... I only adopted my very first cat this year (well, my second cat - my first was a senior who sadly passed away from a hidden tumor a couple of months after we rescued him). I know it's only been a week and I'm shocked to have made as much progress as I have. It's just that I have the disadvantage of a very small apartment in which to socialize him, so he's literally in my bedroom caterwauling all night, and I'm not the only one who lives here. My partner is sleeping on the couch and finds the constant wailing extremely distressing - emotionally upsetting to hear, and disruptive to sleep and function around - but I've managed to broker an agreement with him to try for a little while longer. Really, if I can just break him of that night-time habit this will be much more sustainable... our other cat is aware of him and wary, but has come to investigate and we've let them look at each other a bit - Panda Bear gave him a friendly trill actually. But our other cat has been more attention-seeking since we've brought Panda into the house and my partner thinks it's because he's anxious, so that's a factor too, sigh. He's probably right that it's anxiety, but I think it's pretty low level anxiety. More like "Hey! Love on me! I smell this other guy and need reassurance!" than something to be really worried about.

I may just commit to just getting up and trying to soothe Panda whenever he does wail for a couple of days, if I can manage that... just to try and see if that does anything to cut it back... usually I can distract him from it for a little bit by stroking him with his fuzzy wand (and sometimes he lets me, I'll get a hand in there for a little bit).  And I'm just praying his hormones drop and he loses the yen to roam and becomes more content... I'd be perfectly happy to not be able to pet him, even, and give up that progress, if he would just be a little calmer and more quiet. I'd trade that in a heartbeat and work for it the hard way, since that would make it easier for me to make the case for more time with him.

Ironically, I'm an academic and work on animal cognition... har har har. So much for expertise.

Also, annoying event today that was totally my fault: I left the room for ten minutes to talk to my partner in the kitchen... I hadn't yet put the tarp on my bed... as I go back in the room, I say, "He'd better not be peeing on that bed...!" Sure enough, he's popping a squat right as I open the door!!! I was able to whip the blankets off before it soaked down to the sheet and run it down to the washing machine. But jeez!!!

Is my carpet safe with two litter boxes in the room (not as squishy and obviously absorbent as the bed) or has anyone found ferals or strays will target those too? I'll roll it up if it's a pee risk, but would vastly prefer not to have to since it's a floor rug...)

OK, rant over. Thank you again, wonderful and wise cat-folk.
 
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patiently

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Some words of encouragement.   My Rascal was to be TNRed  by the rescue group I volunteer for but at vetting he was found to be infested with lung worms and suffered from severe herpes.  I took him in( at 7months old.)  after he had been treated for the worms.  He attacked me regularly as he had learned that attacking the person who brought food caused her to drop the food and leave.  He also attacked if you approached his timid sister ( also sick)  My vet gave me meds for the herpes that I could give orally and I no longer had to scruff to medicate them.  Three years later Rascal is the biggest lap cat and his sister comes running for her "kitty massages".  Neither shows any interest in the outside other than looking out the windows.  Good luck!
Inspiring. And you're a wonderful person to volunteer. I don't know WHAT I would have done without the TNR volunteer helping me out. I wasn't looking to rescue a feral cat, Lord knows, but this one managed to worm his way into my heart mewing in our backyard (I actually thought he was a female in heat, which made me rush to trap him in the first place!). I did manage to find a trap on my own, but everything else - transpo to the neuter and back, the temporary cage, the antibiotics - was something she helped me out with. #catheroes
 
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patiently

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May as well show you guys my other kitty... this is Pangolin. We rescued him around Christmas when he was about eight months old. His story is confusing... they found him wandering around following a female at a few months of age or so and they think he was maybe kicked out of a really sketchy shelter that got shut down for animal abuse. They think they just let a bunch of the animals go when they got shut down?! Weird tale. Anyway, by the time I got him he was already a love-bug and perfect gentleman. 

 
 

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And him lying in a REALLY weird position, which I only saw him do just that one time. He was just chilling like that on his own in the room, having a kind of doze? Very funny and weird. You can see the eye at the worst that it's been here, before I had to patiently 'unglue' it.

Hello patiently, I'm a little late coming into this thread.

Thank you for saving Panda Bear and bring him in and giving him a warm and loving home! :clap:

Very good advice coming from the replies.

Panda Bear is not lying in a weird position. When a cat sleeps or lay belly up, is a sign that he is confidence of the surroundings. Knowing that no harm will be done to them. This is a good sign for you though it still takes awhile before he is fully integrated into the household.

Make the room where he is in his safe room. Blocked up any holes or nooks so that he can't hide. Keep cage open so that if he feels comfortable sleeping in there, let him be. Secure all escape route, approach him slowly and if he's on the ground, get down to his level. Keep talking to him and make him associate you with food.

Find a nice corner to to feed him. Don't place the feeding bowl in the cage. And also use a shallow rectangular plate to feed him. Round bowls are not good for them as it'll cause whiskers stress as they eat. Also please use stainless steel, or ceramic or porcelain plates for food and a wide water dish. Anything material other than mentioned are prone to bacteria growth. And if he does drink, fresh water is always a must.

Keep doing the slow blinking of eyes but don't stare direct into his eyes. Slow blink and look away to show him that he is the boss. It's good that he allows you to groom him. This way, do it often and then take the advantage to pet him.

Remember, routine is the way to go and always one step forward and two steps back. After that, do the slow introduction to Pangolin.

Don't give up on Panda Bear please. Get your partner to participate in what you are doing so that Panda Bear will get use to him too.

Pangolin is good looking!

Please keep us posted ;)
 

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The cat tree is a very good idea. The last feral kitten I took inside loved the cat tree I provided for her in her room. She could hide in the cubby hole and also have a sense of safety from the height. I don't always suggest someone purchasing one for their new feral or stray, because even on ebay, they can cost a hundred bucks. But if one can afford it, it's an excellent tool to help a new cat settle in.

If you provide some catnip toys for Panda, he will very likely start to play with them at night. He will quickly see he has a good thing going.

Feral cats often bond with other cats more quickly than with a human, so you might try a brief introduction between him and your resident cat. When I took in "Cupcake," I brought in each of my other 4 cats into her room, initially one at a time, and held them and danced around with them in front of her. She also watched me play with them in her presence. She actually bonded with one of them (her brother from a different litter) within days, and it helped her to be less fearful and to adjust more quickly. So your resident cat could be very helpful in putting Panda at ease.

Regarding the meowing-- I highly recommend Mac's ear plugs. They're made of wax, and you can't hear anything with them in. At least give a pair to your boyfriend. In a few days you could also try moving Panda into your room at night. He may just be lonely and scared. BTW, although Cupcake bonded with my other cats and had the run of the house within a few weeks, it was 6 months before I could pet and hold her. It's great you can already touch Panda. Well these are just some suggestions I'm throwing out--I have no idea if they'll be helpful to you.
 
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patiently

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Panda Bear is not lying in a weird position. When a cat sleeps or lay belly up, is a sign that he is confidence of the surroundings. Knowing that no harm will be done to them. This is a good sign for you though it still takes awhile before he is fully integrated into the household.
Yay!

@MsAimee, he is in my bedroom. Those are his digs.

I ordered those earplugs, rush shipment for tomorrow!!! 

...So here I am at 3AM... was giving him a bit of comfort during a meowing fit. He let me pet him with his fuzzy stick and then my hand. Scritching the back of his neck I thought I felt a subtle purr, but I think that was just wishful thinking in my half-awake state. Then I felt a lump... oh boy, a huge tick, fat and grayish... deer tick? Unbelievably, he let me first pull at it with a cloth for a while and then finally tweeze it off! It took a good yank. Yuck! Wriggling demon discarded and taken out in the trash, I resumed petting, but he quickly tired of it and gave me a swat. Probably a bit sensitive from the yanking. 

Anyway, I'm very happy. Clearly he has some trust for me, to let me pull at something latched to the skin of his neck until it came loose like that. Nice but gross way to bond.

I'll try to get the partner involved in his care. I'm spending a couple of nights at a crossword puzzle tournament in a couple of days, so he'll have to take the helm. Right now I've been anxiously awaiting him using one of the proper litter boxes, now that the bed is tarped up. He hasn't been eating much since leaving the crate - feeling wonky and shy in his new digs. Just... please start to pee in your litter box again in the new space so that I can leave you alone without worrying, little dude.
 

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It might help if you mixed some garden dirt from outside into the litter boxes--he might feel more comfortable with that for a while. And sorry you "rush ordered' the ear plugs--you can usually just buy them in a drug store! And yes, it is quite amazing he allowed you to pull that tick off him. If he wasn't given Frontline while at the vet for flea and tick protection, you might want to get some in case there are any lingering critters on him. It's cheapest on Amazon or ebay, or perhaps your vet will give you an inexpensive dose since your cat was neutered there. However, if he was given a dose at the vet, you need to wait 30 days between doses. It sounds like you're making great progress!
 
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@Shane Kent  Lookalikes!

Added some dirt into the litter box. No errant peeing last night. Sleeping under a tarp was, uh, a new one. Guess that's my new normal until I feel he's reliable. 

@MsAimee, oh, I thought perhaps they were hard to find... oh well! He definitely got flea and tick treatment. I found a dead tick on him today so perhaps it got some of them but not all. It definitely got all  the fleas. I will top him up with another dose after a month has passed since he last got treated.

 
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He is a very good looking cat. Should make for nice photos with his little ginger brother by his side. He gets that eye all cleared up he should start feeling more comfortable. Poor little guy with a sore eye who could blame him for being a little grouchy.

I was fortunate with my two feral cats. They were living in steel beams during the day and a material storage shelter at night. No fleas or ticks but they sure were stinky. It's great that you found and got that nasty tick off him.

I hope you will be posting photos like this soon. Taz and his big sister Zoe.

 
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@Shane Kent  I have a soft-spot for long haired cats... love that floof.

You can see the thin hair on his sides in that above pic, though... there was a LOT of hair lost when I groomed him. I thought I was overgrooming and pulling it out somehow and kind of freaked out, but I think he really did just have bald stretches, maybe as a result of the mats and the fleas and what have you. He is certainly just crusted with flea-dirt in some places, which we're still working on with the flea comb in moments of especially calm repose. Perhaps about three such bald patches of decent size. It's really shocking to compare him now with how he was when I found him... I thought he was huge, but so much of him was just mats and fur that shed by the handfuls with a bit of brushing. I was wondering how he was so well fed, but he's a bit skinny underneath it all!

Used his dirt-covered litter box. Huzzah. 
 
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Shane Kent

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I think that cats are very conscious of their appearance. His eye clears up, the fur gets all cleaned and grows back he is going to feel a whole lot better about himself. When you are done you are probably going to have a hard time keeping him off you because he is going to want to love you to death.
 
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@patiently  - When I got my Chamouti from PetSmart he was big, of course as he is a Maine Coon, and then I started to brush him with a wire brush which he loved. I never saw so much fur coming off a cat but his fur still felt kind of stiff. Then I took that brush to him and brushed him backwards, now twice as much fur as before came off him and I found a few little mats which I had not noticed before with all that fur. I brushed him every day for a week backwards and forwards and fur was just accumulating. Finally no more hair came off, his fur is now soft and he does not look as if he has any less fur than before or that he is any smaller. The fur must have just sort of stuck together under the top coat. He still loves to be brushed every few days and there is hardly any fur coming off.  

 
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@segelkatt  Now THAT is a majestic looking cat! Wow, I just love him! 
 
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@Shane Kent  Love that picture of both T&Z together... Zoe is gorgeous. Love the little white mouth and the highlights around her eyes. 
 
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