Traveling and Clapping...

Hi everyone! I haven't been on much for a week but I need to share what happened with my cat this past weekend before going on to discuss my topics of traveling and clapping. This was so upsetting to me. 

This post might be a bit length so my apologies in advance but I do appreciate everyone's support and feedback 

This weekend Kaleb and I weren't home but with my fiance in his apartment and I wasn't really watching Kaleb. I was busy online checking emails the previous night and also had to do some shopping the next afternoon and wound up being longer than expected. Before I went shopping that day as I was just leaving my fiance called me back from the door and pointed out that Kaleb had messed on the carpet and was wiping his butt along the carpet. At first I thought he was just stressed because of traveling to my fiance's (it will be at least a year before we move into a bigger place together and I'd still like all three of us to be together) . I've been sensitive to Kaleb's behavior making note of if any changes occur in case he doesn't like being in a new environment on regular occasions. But I always check his poop to keep check to make sure that he's processing his food well and that his digestive system is ok and when I did I found a pretty sizable  piece of plastic with a sharp end on it. I mean, it was a hunk! I was immediately relieved that it passed through but SO upset and feeling SO guilty for not having swept the floors as soon as I got in. If I lived there the floors would have more attention but my fiance works and is older than me and usually tired. He also lives with his nephew which is why I wont move in. So with two men who love to cook and who both work the place isn't spic and span. The first weekend I had Kaleb there I did a thorough dusting of the place because I know cats tend to have allergies and sensitive respiratory systems (as do both Christopher and I) and the dust was an inch thick. It looks much better and is safer for him but I just couldn't believe my eyes when I saw this white pointy chunk in my baby's poo. All day, night, and into the next day I was super edgy and worried something else might pass.

The plastic was on the kitchen floor along with the floor being dirty and I found old food. It's really not my responsibility in the first place to make their apartment livable but now I consider that it is because both my kitten and ME are staying there once a week. If it weren't for Kaleb I'd leave it up to them.

Oh yes, and I added pumpkin to his next meal to make sure he hadn't eaten anything else he shouldn't have. The pumpkin really gave him a nicely formed poop and I will be giving it to him more often. 

 I noticed his belly rumbles a lot so he could have more bouts of gas than most cats or maybe even upset tummy. I've also decided to lengthen the period of time that he eats a particular flavor of food. I think that may have been the cause of the rumbles.

On to Part Two !!!

My fiance Christopher brought it to my attention SEVERAL times the past week that I really should be setting reasonable boundaries so that Kaleb knows what he should and should not do. I guess I've been too lenient and have been giving Kaleb too much allowance on tables, sniffing things, etc. I'm probably too timid and afraid he's more sensitive than he really is and telling him "no" would be a good idea when he's up on shelves or tables he shouldn't be or on/in places where there's always stuff that needs to be set down. I kinda thought that he is going to do it anyway when I'm not home and that there is no real way to prevent that from happening because , well .. cats will be cats.

But NOW I realize that behaviors should be noticed and even if he's wandering aimlessly looking for things to get into a gentle way of telling him no wouldn't be a bad idea. Other than that I have to watch for candles and drinks when he's poking around. Over the first night I was at my fiance's with him he was super curious and climbing on the tables and Chris noticed the little one getting into my drink. When "NO!" didn't work (and my fiance was frustrated at this point so his no wasn't quite so gentle) he clapped and Kaleb went flying off the table into the other room. I didn't like that it startled him and maybe I'm just super sensitive to how he might feel when he's reprimanded but to me at the time I thought my fiance's clapping was a little harsh. Although I made the mistake once of scruffing Kaleb, I immediately felt like I betrayed him and his trust and decided to never do that again. I hadn't thought out precisely how I was going to handle situations like walking on keyboards and I've read that scruffing is okay but its not. Maybe I was just used to doing it because I had ferrets at one time. But I am not one who believes in reinforcing negative behavior by doing something that would disrupt the bonding patterns between you and your cat or cause any changes in the cat's generally happy personality. This is what I fear when Christopher says clapping is the only way and that he absolutely just MUST have boundaries and know and learn that there are some things he just can not do. I did rethink it and pretty much feel that clapping would be safe, and surely better than scruffing but I wanted to get everyone's expert opinions and to also ask how do you all feel about traveling one day a week and to ask if that's something you also do.

Any behavior reinforcement, or milder punishment forms as suggestions are also welcomed and appreciated.

::WHEW!::: this post happens to be longer than I thought it would be!  Again I'm sorry and hope to hear your responses..... 

Have a nice week and enjoy your furbabies !!!!  

I used to clap for my boy, and he learned pretty quick, only because he didn't like the sound.  My husband used that method more with him probably because I was more attentive to him but when I was busy Simon would try and get my husbands attention by doing something he knew wasn't right. LOL little stinker.  Other than that he knew his true boundary's .

I would say if you are going to bring Kaleb to your fiance's home, unfortunately you do need to check to make sure these guys aren't leaving stuff around that he can get into.  Let's face it, if the guys are going to keep it clean for you, they won't for a cat.  Sorry just my own opinion and experience with guys and apartments. 

I know you said you think all of the foreign objects (plastic) is out, but I would keep an eye.  Not to make you nervous, but hard plastic is as dangerous as glass and a piece could be stuck.  Keep an eye on his belly, food intake and pooping.

Kaleb is probably curious when he goes over to your fiance's home and may be trying to scope out a place of his own while there.  Does he have a cat bed there or a blanket he can call his own or do you just let him roam.  I'd say get a clean medium cardboard box stick a fluffy towel or small blanket in it that has the scent of your place in it, and he'll get used to playing in that area instead of roaming and searching.  He's just being curious.  Keep a few toys in it too, so every time you go there, he'll have his own stuff.

I yelled at my boy on occasion - but we did have him from 2 weeks and he thought he was human, so he acted like a snobby child testing the parents and he knew it.  In the end there was never any trust issues ever between him and us.

Good luck with your sweet boy, I'm sure others will chime in with great information for you and your sweet Kaleb.

Thank you so very much for your response and your concern 2Cats, it is well appreciated. Your concern is valid and so are mine and I do appreciate your support.

Everything has been fine. Kaleb had his first check up with the new vet yesterday. She's wonderful. She was very thorough, professional, and her energy was remarkable. She doesn't sugar coat things and she didn't try to play it off like she'll adore every pet/patient that walks in the door. We really liked it there.

At my fiance and nephew's he has the duplicate scratching post of the one my fiance bought him for our regular home, which he really likes, and we picked up one of those flat comfy mattresses to sit on one of the chairs by the television so he could sleep or watch tv with us (yep! he likes watching tv hahaha). He does have kitty food dish and water bowl, and toys there, and I still need to purchase a food mat and more scratching posts. And of course, litter and litter pan. I also have a curved bed that I bought as a double so there is two of them and I will bring one of those next time. That is if I decide to go. The whole experience of the floor and the plastic really turned me off. I know if it was just my fiance it would be cleaner, I really do. He spoils Kaleb and loves him so much and he's more considerate of Kaleb's needs (and mine)  

Everything has been fine since. He's going ok and eating as usual. I have been enjoying giving him a variety of foods but the doctor said it's best just to stick to one kind and one flavor. His belly has settled since I changed to only one kind every 4 days or so but she said even that is not necessary. Sometimes when they say its not necessary it means Dont Do It! so....

So far the only time I've yelled is when caught off guard by accident but not enough to scare him. He has heard me yell during arguments at home. There is a lot of stress in my current situation at home with my grandmother and I think it will have a big impact on him when I'm calmer. They pick up on e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g

All in all things are going well. I keep to myself, and with him most times at home. I will have to decide if I want to continue spending nights at my fiance's or not. Do I want to risk him ingesting something else nasty and being in that environment or just wait until we move into our own place. It seems to make sense just to wait.

Again , thank you for your input. And I like the blanket idea. I will just bring the one he tore up!!! HA HA