Question of The Day. Saturday 11th of March

Good morning.

A friend of mine was telling me about how she played match-maker today. She introduced a colleague to a friend of hers and the two of them got along really well. So well that they've just announced they're getting married. They're both doctors, he's in his early 40's and she's in her mid 30's, but they've decided to hold the ceremony and the party in Tokyo Disney Land.

It takes all sorts, I guess.

Are you or were you ever married? What kind of wedding did you have? If you're not married, what kind of wedding would you like?

I'm married, but we didn't have a wedding. The thought of planning and arranging the whole thing gave me the fear, so we just went to City Hall and got an official stamp on our marriage certificate.

We made up for it with the honeymoon though. We went back-packing for a whole year.

I met my husband when I was 20 and he was 23. After being together for nearly 3 years decided to get married. This was a Wednesday morning. Got a special licence and got married on the Friday. Didn't tell anyone, took a day off work, had two strangers as witnesses and went home to tell our families.
We were married for 19 years and I am now happily divorced. I don't know how he feels but I'm sure he also is delighted[emoji]128512[/emoji]

Never been married, and can't imagine ever doing so. I can't think of anything worse than a 'proper' wedding and reception either - I hate parties/lots of people ara3:

We will have been married for 25 years in September.

We had a big church wedding and then reception for 200+ people. If I had to do it again I would have something extremely small.

I've never been married nor do I ever plan to. But if a wedding was to happen, I would not go for a typical all out (expensive) wedding bash    I'm perfectly happy to get it done at City Hall and then have a small party afterwards.

At the end of April, we'll be married 46 years. I was 16, Rick was 19. Because I was pregnant, it was an extremely small, immediate-family only kind of thing. It's not easy, getting married and having a baby, when you're just a baby yourself. If I had it to do over again, I would never do so. Don't get me wrong, I love Rick and I love our son and his family. But still.......

I've never married and I don't have a partner but if I were to get wed it would be at a drive through in Las Vegas, saying our vows to an Elvis Personator down the big order speaker thing, picking up fries & chocolate milkshake whist there.          Maybe rope in a couple of street guys who try to wash your windows whenever you stop at traffic lights to be the witnesses.            I am an eternal romantic    

    Or was that cynic, I get the two confused     ​

                                                                                                                    

I like to joke that I'm on the Elizabeth Taylor plan 

I've been married twice, and about to be for a 3rd time. Of course, I'm nearly 58 so those 3 relationships spanned a long time frame.

Anyway - about weddings!  My first one, was pretty large, complete with the big poofy dress. I think we ended up with about 150 attending.  I did NOT enjoy myself very much but then again it could have also been that I knew I made a huge mistake    It was held in a wedding hall and just was not my style overall.  

The second wedding, which was more than a decade later, was much more intimate - somewhere around 75 or so.  I enjoyed myself a lot at that one.  I didn't wear a typical wedding dress; bought an ivory sheath style off the rack and had a local dressmaker add some details which made it more personal.  That one was held in an historic Victorian mansion - lots of character and very much my/his style.

Now, again more than a decade later Tom and I will elope. He has also been married before so there's no reason to have people yet again join in a large or even small party. In fact, I find the possibility embarrassing.  I probably wouldn't mind doing a sit down small dinner but it will be on a weekday (Thursdays are the only day the Mayor does weddings) and both our families and close friends are too scattered around the US and beyond so that isn't going to happen. Let alone, weekday = people that have to work and their time is precious.

We are planning to just have our town mayor do the ceremony and than head off for a much needed vacation.  We *might* have his daughter and husband there to be witnesses but maybe even not.  Honestly, the thought of even having to find an outfit for that minimal event is stressing me out. I'd much prefer if we could walk in with jeans and t-shirts and dispense with all the hoopla.  It seems wasteful to spend all that money on things we'll never wear again (let alone don't even enjoy wearing).  Rather spend the money on nicer rings and a more luxurious vacation.

Each relationship was better than the last one so maybe we'll get this right by not making a fuss LOL.

I was married a lifetime ago, we have been divorced for years.  We met and married while stationed in Germany.  In Germany everyone is married at city hall, that is the legal marriage, at least that was the way it was then.  People can then have whatever other ceremony they want to have, we just had the city hall one.  

@sivyaleah  why don't you do exactly what you want to do, the pair of you.  You deserve to, it's your wedding after all.  Buy a really nice, expensive pair of jeans or, more fittingly, a black pair of flattering velvet trousers (or your favourite colour) and a beautiful silk blouse with sequin sparkles but something you'd be able to wear again, and when you wear it again, you would wear it with memory of your day and with pride.  Buy or borrow a beautiful necklace to match the sparkle in your blouse (my sister-law borrowed the woman over the road's diamond earrings for her wedding, and we didn't even know her more than to say hello to!).  Get your hair cut, coloured, and dressed in a style that you'd like to have regardless of the wedding.  It sounds like you're "over" the traditional wedding ceremony by now - it's time for you to do as you please.  

You could even ask your would-be guests if they'd mind going on a sumptuous picnic in a flower meadow, and putting money in your Mauritius Paradise Honeymoon pot instead of a present.  

Just a thought.    

sivyaleah said:

Each relationship was better than the last one so maybe we'll get this right by not making a fuss LOL.

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   Don't they say "third time's the charm?"    Best of luck!

Neely said:

 
   Don't they say "third time's the charm?" 

  Best of luck!

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That's what everyone says, thanks! 

I've been married to the same person for a long time.  We like to joke that our marriage is like the Huey Lewis song, "Happy to be stuck with you." 

We didn't want a big wedding but my future mother-in-law had other plans.  I was fresh out of college and young so didn't know how to talk back to her, I thought it was disrespectful. Instead I vented to my mom.  Trust me, as I became older I became wiser and once we had a family I didn't skip a beat when it came to speaking up. One of our daughters recently married and had the same problems with her m-i-l.  It brought back unpleasant memories but unlike me she's a firecracker and didn't hesitate to put her husband's mother in her place, diplomatically of course.    

Wow, this thread reminded me, my anniversary is coming up. :lol3: 32 years in April. We had a small ceremony at a hotel near here, family and close friends. Perfect.

i've never been married, and will never get married.

Norachan said:

 
Good morning.

A friend of mine was telling me about how she played match-maker today. She introduced a colleague to a friend of hers and the two of them got along really well. So well that they've just announced they're getting married. They're both doctors, he's in his early 40's and she's in her mid 30's, but they've decided to hold the ceremony and the party in Tokyo Disney Land.

It takes all sorts, I guess.

Are you or were you ever married? What kind of wedding did you have? If you're not married, what kind of wedding would you like?

I'm married, but we didn't have a wedding. The thought of planning and arranging the whole thing gave me the fear, so we just went to City Hall and got an official stamp on our marriage certificate.

We made up for it with the honeymoon though. We went back-packing for a whole year.

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Backpacking for a whole year as a honeymoon?!  Wow!  That's impressive.  Where did you go?

@1CatOverTheLine  I've also always fancied the idea of eloping to the blacksmiths   at Gretna Green, just over the Scottish border, where up until a couple of decades ago kids would elope in droves as they could marry at 16 without permission.  Whereas in stuffy old England, you needed the consent of your parents, and English parents could be a bit prudish and proper      But, sadly the law changed so England's just the same as Scotland now.

I do love the idea of eloping   

So, due to the lack of eloping potential, I'd definitely do the Elvis drive in thing, I think it would be wonderfully surreal, like a dream  ​ And, you get fries!!! 

What could be more romantic than that, hey?    

I'm amused by the assumption that a person would want to be married. There is no reason to do so these days, particularly since you just have to have been living together to be considered married in the eyes of the State here.

I've been living happily with my partner for nearly 30 years. The idea of getting married and having a wedding majorly creeps me out, as does having children. It's like you have to do it and if you don't people make all sorts of assumptions about you. 

My dad and his wife were together for 30 years, and then got married.  I think it was more for their pension schemes/bank account than romance, that and any excuse for a piss-up.  My brother got married because his two eldest boys are not biologically his and he had no parental rights unless married, even though he has two girls with his wife who are his bios.  Weirdo laws in the UK.  Personally, I've never been in a situation to consider marriage.  But the thought of getting married in a white dress, in front of heaps of people, is utterly abhorrent; it's my worst nightmare imaginable, I have the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it. 

YET, I love attending other people's weddings.  I'd be a professional guest if there were such a thing.  I guess you could call me a wedding-dogger    

moorspede said:

 
I'm amused by the assumption that a person would want to be married. There is no reason to do so these days

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On average, nine couples are married worldwide every second of every day.  I'd guess that they might disagree.

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