My boy left me this past Friday...

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amandag

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I just want to thank everyone again. Today has been really hard as we had a stray show up right before Gary died that won't leave....I have a separate thread on her so I won't go into great detail. I'm not ready for another cat but I think he chose her for us and she definitely wants to be with us so I'm trying hard. I can't help but feel like we're betraying him by taking her in. I still cry every day missing my boy and struggle with how unfair his short life was. Coming back and reading all of your comments are really comforting.
 

catlover73

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I just want to thank everyone again. Today has been really hard as we had a stray show up right before Gary died that won't leave....I have a separate thread on her so I won't go into great detail. I'm not ready for another cat but I think he chose her for us and she definitely wants to be with us so I'm trying hard. I can't help but feel like we're betraying him by taking her in. I still cry every day missing my boy and struggle with how unfair his short life was. Coming back and reading all of your comments are really comforting.
No one is ever ready to say goodbye.  The bond you shared with Gary can never be broken.  He has left a piece of himself in a special place in your heart and has taken a peace of your heart with him to the rainbow bridge.  Gary will always live on in your heart through the memories of the time you shared together.  

I know taking in another baby so soon may not feel right but please know that this action would not be a betrayal to Gary at all.  It is possible that Gary sent this baby to you so that she would know what it is like to have a safe and loving home.  In a way you would be honoring Gary's life by taking her in.   I have suffered losses with my fur kids too.  Each one of our babies has their own special places in our hearts and will never replace the ones who have left.  It took me some time to understand this because my hubby was the one who first decided that after a loss we should give a new baby a home to honor the life of the one who passed.  At times I was still grieving and not sure if I was ready but now I can honestly say it is a way to honor your baby.   Only you will know if this is right for you since everyone grieves in their own time and way.  
 

cataan

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As hard as it was, 3-4 months after my Back died, I adopted a very young cat so that something good would come of something bad.  I was not betraying Back, I was saving a life to counterbalance the loss of Back's life.  I still miss Back and would do anything to have him back, but I know I did something good by giving the new cat a home -- which was exactly what I did years ago when I gave Back a home.
 

zed xyzed

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I agree with the 2 posts above. But only you can make that decision. I think saving another kitty from a difficult life would be a living tribute to your sweet boy.  
 

Mia6

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Amanda,

Sounds like perhaps Gary chose the cat for you. It is not a betrayal. It takes time to grieve. I cry every day for my Kirsten who passed

in October. I think new kitty must sense your grief and wants to comfort you.

Hugs,

Mia
 

lavishsqualor

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Hi Amanda

Gary was so incredibly fortunate to have found you.  You made his life immeasurably better.  I work in apartment management and I constantly feel as if I'm drowning in an ocean of unwanted, unloved cats.  I TNR every one I can but there are still so many.  Your kindness and generosity kept Gary from being one of those lost little souls that will never know the comfort of a head rub and a warm bed on a cold night. And now you've done the same thing for Chloe.  As someone else said, you kindness to her is a living testament to Gary.

I know you're still hurting, but I want you to know that I think you're awesome.
 
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zed xyzed

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Chloe is beautiful!! somewhere up there Gary is smiling down  with pride that his family who is still suffering and missing him were able to  saved a furry little life to honor him.  
 
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Mia6

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Amanda,

I think Gary chose her for you! She is gorgeous!!

Hugs,

Mia
 
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amandag

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​Thanks, I agree! Not sure if I mentioned the vet thinks she is right around the same age Gary was when he passed. He had a great 3 years and I don't think she has.....so we will see to it that her hopefully very long lifetime is as wonderful as his 3 years were!
 

ericsmom1000

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amandag amandag I am so very sorry for your loss. Gary was so very lucky to have had a good home with you. As I've said to many people on this site, so many cats are homeless, and either suffer on the streets (the average life span is five years), or die unwanted and alone at the shelter. So those who are owned, or vice versa, by members of this site are fortunate indeed. The tragedy about Gary's all-too-brief life is that he never would have been ill had his mother been vaccinated against FeLV.

You went above and beyond what most people would do -- consulting universities, spending a lot of money on vet care -- but as you know, when the immune system is compromised, it leaves the cat open to every germ out there.

Gary is free of his body, never to be ill again. He thanks you for the 3-1/2 years he had with you. And remember this: Gary didn't die -- his body did. What animated his body -- his spirit -- is very much alive in another dimension. He probably is sitting in his stroller as I write this. He will visit you often, because physical death cannot break the bonds of love between you and him. He also feels your emotions.

When you are ready, Gary will send you another needy cat. In the meantime, don't focus on his last days, but on the rest of the days with him. Yes, grieve for his loss, but think of the good times, too. That's what Gary would want you to do.
 

lavishsqualor

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Absolutely magnificently beautiful! I can picture fireflies buzzing around at night. The others are right on the money when they say that you've given Gary's spirit a spectacular place to roam. He was a lucky boy to have had you.
 

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I absolutely LOVE the stroller pic! That is the sweetest and most adorable thing I've ever seen! Rest in Peace beautiful Gary. I'm sure the angels are pushing him around in a stroller now :)
 
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