Rescue kitties still hiding from us - 2 weeks later.

catladycheri

TCS Member
Thread starter
Kitten
Joined
Feb 26, 2017
Messages
7
Purraise
8
We adopted 2 sister kitties (after my 17yr old sweetie pie crossed the rainbow bridge on New Years Day). According to vet records they are 16 months old. It appears they've spent the last 8 months in a crate at a cat rescue shelter. At the shelter they were friendly and curious when we reached into the cage but we didn't try picking them up. Brought them home. Gave them their own bedroom with everything they need. It's been two weeks now. My husband and I take turns daily just quietly sitting in the room. Feeding them or changing their litter. They just sit under the dresser or backed into the corner and watch us. Late night I say goodnight and turn off the bedroom light and within minutes of closing the door you can hear them bouncing and playing around. They seem happy unless we are around. We have the feliway defuser plugged in and putting anti-stress drops in their water. I so want them to venture up to us. When should we try to pet them or pick them up? I  want them to realize they have a whole world and loving family. Advice please?
 

calicosrspecial

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 14, 2016
Messages
4,428
Purraise
2,542
Don't worry, this happens fairly often.

It is great that they are playing together when you leave the room. That tells me that with time things will work out.

I like to sit in the room and talk softly and lovingly to them. Use food to help coax them out from under the bed. Especially good stinky treats or wet food. I use warm chicken thigh meat but that takes a lot of work. Let them approach you. Don't reach out to them, let them initiate the contact. They'll probably rub at first and then do the head butt thing.  Let them know they are loved and that you are not a threat. You may want to avoid eye contact for a while with them. Just act calm and confident when you are with them as cats take on our emotions.

Food builds a bond and trust really well. They may not take to it right away but eventually they will. The key really is to let them initiate the interactions. It is all about building trust. It is just a process, some take longer than others. But they will come around with love. And I know you have a lot of love to offer them.

Don't worry, I am sure it will be fine. 2 weeks is not a long time at all. Just please be patient. I am happy to help you along the way so please feel free to ask anything anytime.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #3

catladycheri

TCS Member
Thread starter
Kitten
Joined
Feb 26, 2017
Messages
7
Purraise
8
Thank you for your reassuring words. Question about feeding. We have kept dry food - same kind they had in the shelter - and water out all the time. In the morning when I change it (and clean the litter box) I've been taking in just half a can of wet food in a little dish and leaving it. They are scarfing that up within minutes of me leaving the room and later in the day it appears they are eating the dry food and water. I'm thinking that maybe I shouldn't leave the dry food out and bring both foods morning and night and just sit quietly and see if they'll come out to eat while I'm in the room. We did take the bed off the frame so they couldn't disappear under it on us but they've still got their favorite hiding places under the dresser or in the corner next to a bookcase which is fine. Good advice regarding the eye contact thank you I read somewhere if we do we are to do a slow blink. Patients patients patients. This is killing me. lol
 

calicosrspecial

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 14, 2016
Messages
4,428
Purraise
2,542
You are welcome.

It is great they like the wet food. You can use that. Cats typically have their times to eat so you could do that. When you have time use the wet food and put it near where they are hiding (a few feet away) and then sit somewhere else and see if they come out. They may not the first few times but I am sure eventually they will. Then slowly move the food closer to where you will be sitting. And don't make eye contact when they are eating. Eventually you'll be able to.

The slow blink are eye kisses. Or closing your eyes them (if you feel comfortable) is also a way to build trust. Just take it slow with them. Let them go at their pace. Use the wet food to coax them out. Then they associate good things (wet food) with the human. They will come around.

It is all about building trust. Some cats just take longer sometimes. But I have never seen a cat not respond to love and I can tell you have a lot for them.

Just be as calm and confident around them as possible. Cats can sense our emotions and they take on our emotions. So the more calm and confident we are the more they are.

I'll be here with you for as long as you need. Some please feel free to ask anything anytime and let's see how things progress. I am not worried, I think you'll do a great job with them.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #5

catladycheri

TCS Member
Thread starter
Kitten
Joined
Feb 26, 2017
Messages
7
Purraise
8
Week 3 and we're making slow very slow if any progress.

Bringing the wet food in for them seems to bring them out and one has been cautiously curious about the cat toy (feather wand) I've been bringing with me. I spend an hour (before work) and at night just sitting on the bed playing candy crush on my phone silently or telling them about my day. My husband is home from work in the afternoon and is doing the same. I caught him singing "Soft Kitty, warm kitty" from the Big Bang Theory and saw a totally different side to the man.

We tried putting a little cat treat in front of one and heard our first hissss. lol. So we backed off and didn't try that again. In looking closer at their records I discovered they were actually born at the rescue place and am sure they've spent their whole life in a cage. It's so sad and I'm sure they didn't get a lot of people contact - the lady has over 60 cats most in cages and does have volunteers that help keep them clean but from what I saw they don't have a lot of time with them. I have a feeling this is going to take a LONG time. Thank you so much for the encouraging words.
 

calicosrspecial

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 14, 2016
Messages
4,428
Purraise
2,542
Cats bring out the best in men!! 

It is normal for a cat to hiss if a person gets to close. That is there way of saying "hold on". Don't worry.

I love that one of them was a little interested in the toy.

I think you are doing a great job. It may take a little time but I know in my heart you are going to do well with them. They will respond to your love. Trust me. They hit the jackpot being saved by you.

Please keep up the great work. We are here for you for as long as needed.
 

sarah430

TCS Member
Adult Cat
Joined
Feb 13, 2017
Messages
271
Purraise
209
Location
Pacific Northwest
I agree!  They hit the jackpot being saved by you.

I also recently adopted two sibling kitties - they are brother sister and about 7-8 months old now.   We've had them for a month and they are very timid/skittish.  Since I had to get the girl, Navi, spayed plus take both of them to the vet for a check-up, I kept them in a bedroom for three weeks so that I could be sure to find and catch them.   Now they have the run of the house.  They are still afraid of us and run if we startle them and definitely don't like to be cornered or picked up.   But if Navi is sleeping on the couch and I approach her slowly, she'll let me stroke her head, cheeks and chin.   And she purrs! :)    Link, the boy, is more cautious and won't let us get close enough to pet him. He still hisses at us occasionally.   But I've discovered that if I don't look at him when approaching he's less apt to run away or hiss.

Anyway, I'm learning that it's a slow process and I need to make an effort to work with them (play, treats, etc.) every day. But I see improvement from when we first brought them home.

Hang in there! :)
 

calicosrspecial

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 14, 2016
Messages
4,428
Purraise
2,542
Sarah, give eye kisses to them as well. Close your eyes for 5 seconds or so. That shows you trust them. And just go at their pace, slow, let them initiate contact. Don't force them for their love, let them give it.  With love they will come around.
 

sarah430

TCS Member
Adult Cat
Joined
Feb 13, 2017
Messages
271
Purraise
209
Location
Pacific Northwest
 
Sarah, give eye kisses to them as well. Close your eyes for 5 seconds or so. That shows you trust them. And just go at their pace, slow, let them initiate contact. Don't force them for their love, let them give it.  With love they will come around.
Thanks for the reminder!  That's a great tip.  I've done the slow eye blink/close and they've returned the gesture.  That gives me hope!  Plus the fact that there are generally sweet and curious kitties.
 

calicosrspecial

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 14, 2016
Messages
4,428
Purraise
2,542
If they gave you eye kisses you are in!! Well done. They would not close their eyes to a threat or predator. Good job!!!
 

sarah430

TCS Member
Adult Cat
Joined
Feb 13, 2017
Messages
271
Purraise
209
Location
Pacific Northwest
 
If they gave you eye kisses you are in!! Well done. They would not close their eyes to a threat or predator. Good job!!!
That's what has me perplexed.  They do give me eye kisses, but also run and hide whenever anyone gets too close to them.  And I mean even when our attention isn't on them --- they act afraid like we're coming for them.   I can only guess that it's instinct taking over and hope with time and patience they'll be less inclined to do that.   I'm wondering if they were abused as young kittens  --- I unfortunately don't know their early history.  But if they think we aren't paying attention they run around playing like they rule the house. :)
 

calicosrspecial

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 14, 2016
Messages
4,428
Purraise
2,542
I wouldn't worry, they will come around and respond to love. Sometimes it just takes time.

Cats can take on our emotions. So if we act cautious while approaching (knowing that we could spook them) then they could wonder why the human is acting different and be more cautious. Is that a possibility that the human acts a little differently?

I wouldn't worry too much. Some cats are more cat cats and some more people cats. But I have found they all respond to being loved. I had a cat that was friendly as an outside feral, came in and was a cat's cat playing with the other cats didn't care about the humans and now she loves everyone inside. Go figure. Cats are cats. 
 

sarah430

TCS Member
Adult Cat
Joined
Feb 13, 2017
Messages
271
Purraise
209
Location
Pacific Northwest
I wouldn't worry too much. Some cats are more cat cats and some more people cats. But I have found they all respond to being loved. I had a cat that was friendly as an outside feral, came in and was a cat's cat playing with the other cats didn't care about the humans and now she loves everyone inside. Go figure. Cats are cats. 
Thank you.  Your comment reminds me that my husband thinks that since they have each other they're a little less inclined, or more slow to focus on us.  So I think you're right, at least for now they are more cat cats and less people cats.  That said I can see little improvements.  Link, the more timid of the two will now sit or lie on the floor to play with or watch me and doesn't necessarily need the safety of being just under the couch.  Kitten steps. :)
 

calicosrspecial

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 14, 2016
Messages
4,428
Purraise
2,542
I agree. They'll come around.

GREAT that Link is coming out and being part of the family more. Progress. They will come around, I have no doubt.

Keep up the great work!! Post anytime if you need anything or have any questions.
 

simonschuster

TCS Member
Young Cat
Joined
Jul 5, 2016
Messages
66
Purraise
22
Location
Richmond, Virginia
What lucky kitties to have found you and your husband!  I brought in a feral from my backyard I had spent months with gaining her trust outside. I've had her in a spare room now for 6 weeks. Week 1 she hid completely. Week 2 she was under a table at the back against the wall. I used a plastic spoon and pet her with it from a distance. Week 3 I got eye kisses and a first purr from spoon pets. By week 4 she was happy to see me, but only under her table (a bit removed from the back) and only if I was down low on my hands and knees. I was able to lose the spoon and pet her. At week 5 she came out from under the table and met me in the middle of the room. She still likes me low, but is gaining confidence not to run if I am standing up. Now at week 6 she'll rub up against me, loves her butt rubs and I can pick her up for a few seconds a few inches off the ground (baby steps!). It's been slow, but we are building trust and that takes time. I know you will too with your kitties!
 

sarah430

TCS Member
Adult Cat
Joined
Feb 13, 2017
Messages
271
Purraise
209
Location
Pacific Northwest
That's great!

We've been making a lot of progress today. Navi sat near me on the couch and rolled around, wanting me to scratch behind her ears and rub her cheeks and under her chin, purring the whole time. She also meowed at me for the first time, when I was bringing some food. Neither of the kitties have meowed before. They just sort of chirp and coo at each other. They've also started sleeping more on the couch instead of under it.
 

calicosrspecial

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 14, 2016
Messages
4,428
Purraise
2,542
Well Done SimonSchuster!!!  You bring up an important point I forgot to mention. Always be low to the cat, don't come from above. Cats feel more confident above something a hand, face etc. And it you reach out always come from below and not above. Very important thanks for reminding.

Great Sarah!! Progress!! Keep up the great work.

And thank you to everyone for saving more lives!!   
 

sarah430

TCS Member
Adult Cat
Joined
Feb 13, 2017
Messages
271
Purraise
209
Location
Pacific Northwest
Just wanted to share an update.  I gave them some special treats this weekend - sardines in water with no salt and plain pressure cooked chicken thigh meat.   I'm now their new best friend. :)  They are still skittish but we are definitely bonding and they are much more interested in me.   If she sits near me I can pet Navi and I even picked her up gently and held her in my lap for a few minutes without her acting scared or protesting.  My teen son spends time with them when he comes home from school and he's been able to pet Navi and pick her up too.  He's also gotten closer to Link and says he's been able to touch him without him moving away when he has the security of Navi next to him. 

I kind of didn't believe it at first when people would said they'd come around.  They were sooo scared of us when we brought them home 5-1/2 weeks ago.   But I now believe that love and patience works and am looking forward to more progress with them.  They still scatter at times, especially when they are in a wild mood and running around playing.  And I still can't just pick them up and cuddle them. (Believe me I want to so bad they are so cute.)  But it's great to see them more comfortable in the house and with us.  I've never had two cats the same age and it's a lot of fun.  :)
 

calicosrspecial

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 14, 2016
Messages
4,428
Purraise
2,542
So wonderful to hear!! Well done!!

Just take it slow, go at their pace (never force affection on them), keep using food, and be calm and confident around them.

Some cats are more affectionate then others. Just like humans. Just feel out their personalities and give them your love. Cats respond to love and learn to trust.

I am very confident all will be well.

I am really proud of you and your son. You are doing an awesome job!!

We are always here for you anytime. Keep up the great work.
 
Top