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There are so many posts on this topic, I apologize if one covers what I'm about to ask. Also sorry for the length, this story covers the span of two years and I think I'd better include all of it to paint an accurate picture.
We have a now almost 9-year old cat, Ziggy, who has always been a bit standoffish and grumpy, though very well behaved. When he wants some lovin', he'll come and politely ask for a spot on our lap, but most of the time he'd rather be left on his own. He never jumps on the counters or eats our food if we leave it out on the table, even though he's one of the greediest cats I've ever known, always wanting to eat. He's always been a bit skittish and cowardly, but at the same time very vocal in demanding play, his dinner, to go for a walk in the hallway, or when pouncing on our heads in the middle of the night, and quite aggressive in how he plays. He's also always been friendly towards visitors and quite chill about travelling and being introduced to new places, even though we only did this for the first time when he was four. This to give an idea of his personality, since I can't quite pinpoint his cat type. He has the stocky build of a gamma, but I wouldn't call him sweet or mellow, and he's only unassuming when it comes to asking for petting, mostly because he wants it very rarely.
Three years ago, at age 6, he still had a ton of energy and wanted to play for at least half an hour every day (and happily more). We would bring him with us to my husband's family's summer house in the country ever year, and that year a colony of feral kittens had taken up residence near the house and he seemed to really want to play with them (they were too shy to approach), and was even friendly towards the adult females that came and sniffed at the screen door, so we thought he'd be happy to have a cat friend.
So, when less than a year later a tiny stray male kitten wandered into my husband's workplace on wobbly legs, bold as you please, it seemed like serendipity. We couldn't find its parents (we did eventually find them a block away, but by then it was too late), and there are feral kitty-killing males in the area, so the little fellow came home with us.
We got him checked out by the vet, and followed the slow recommended introduction process. His eyes were still blue and I thought he was only a month old, but that was probably due to malnourishment because he had the teeth of a 3 or 4 month old, and grew at an amazing pace. But at first he was so tiny (he could sit in my palm), and Ziggy is so large and aggressive, I didn't even think of letting them in a room together, since I was afraid Ziggy would kill the little guy. I introduced them through the door and, after the initial shock, Ziggy seemed really curious and enthusiastic, and so we eventually let them into the same space, just a little at a time at first, never unsupervised, though perhaps a bit earlier than we should have because they seemed so OK with each other. Unfortunately, the kitten soon developed a fixation with Ziggy's tail. Ziggy generally hates being touched there (I suspect he may have a touch of arthritis?) and became anxious at all times that the kitten was about to pounce. He didn't seem to know what to do with the ball of fluff, and would make little grumpy complaining noises and run away whenever the kitten pounced. I wasn't particularly worried, figuring things would work themselves out, but in the middle of all this my mother fell seriously ill and I had to go take care of her (she lives in a different country). My husband took Ziggy with him to the summer house, but his parents were none too happy that we'd gotten another cat and expressed horror at the thought of his bringing it while it was still in the ripping things apart phase, so with many tears, I left the kitten with a cat-friendly friend. He was 3 months old at the time.
One month later when I returned, he was completely fine, unruffled by my absence or return. His personality was showing by then, and he is clearly an Alpha, outgoing, loving, friendly towards everyone and everything, afraid of nothing and no-one. I have never had a cat almost kill itself as many times as he has, due to his curiosity and lack of self preservation instinct, but I have also never had a cat as loving and full of goodwill towards the world. We named him Monkey, and I brought him back home. Soon after my husband returned with Ziggy, we kept them separated for a couple of days while we re-introduced them, then let them out together. This time they seemed to get along better. The kitten was a bit less rambunctious, and was large enough for Ziggy to play with properly. Ziggy was still anxious and and clearly not happy about this interloper in his home, but he seemed to enjoy their nightly play fights, which were of an appropriate level of violence (with Ziggy holding back a bit), and I figured as the kitten calmed down even more Ziggy would get used to him. Even though Ziggy was a bit on edge and would complain and growl slightly if the kitten wanted to play too much, he was never violent. Indeed, the kitten seemed to be gaining the upper hand in the relationship, since Ziggy was always running away from him.
However, 9 months later, with the kitten now almost a year old, another emergency arose, and I was forced to go help my father this time, in the countryside. Because my husband disagreed with my assessment of them getting along and felt Ziggy was overly anxious and needed a break, I took the kitten with me -- to an old farmhouse with three very bossy elderly females. At first he wanted to be friends with everyone, but unlike Ziggy, within 3 days they had taught him the boundaries and rules of the house, and established a delicate peace, with all four of them staking claim to various parts of my bed at night. He played with one of them a bit, but was mostly happy chasing the insects and watching the birds through the window (the females only came indoors at night in any case, whereas both my cats are indoor only).
Two months later, my husband came to his parents' country house with Ziggy, and I rejoined him for a time with Monkey, having promised to clip his nails on a regular basis and cat-proof the furniture. We again started to give them two days to get used to each other, but after a day one of them got out, and they seemed non-plussed at the sight of each other. In fact, on this more neutral territory they seemed to get along fine. For one thing, the house is much larger than ours, and for another, there is plenty to keep them occupied -- birds and visiting strays and such. The only thing was, with Monkey being full grown and very large in his own right (though long and skinny and less powerful than Ziggy) their nightly play fighting became more violent - on a couple of occasions they left small tufts of fur, and once even a couple of specs of blood. But it was still most definitely playing -- I know what cats look like when they fight and when they play, having grown up surrounded by them (we live in a country with no government shelters, and took in and fed large colonies of strays, so there were always over a dozen cats about).
After less than a month together, my husband returned home with Ziggy, separating them once again (mostly because he had no way of transporting both of them back home together), and I stayed on with Monkey, returning to my father's house with the bossy females We stayed there three more months, then I brought Monkey back home this past November, four months ago now.
Meanwhile, shortly before we returned, Ziggy had a stomach issue and had been to the vet several times -- his favorite! Not -- and had been pumped full of antibiotics, so probably not feeling his best. But again, after a couple of days keeping them separate and letting them sniff each other and eat on either side of the door, everything seemed as before. They continued to play nightly, a bit more violently than I would have liked, but without a doubt playing, and Ziggy continued to be a little bit fretful and whiny for fear Monkey would try to jump him playfully. He also developed a case of feline acne -- so another trip to the vet, and cream applications that made him even grumpier than usual. Slowly though, he seemed to be asserting his dominance over Monkey. He stopped being the one to always run away, and started chasing Monkey back, and started growling a bit more vehemently to get his point across. They took turns chasing each other round when playing. Monkey, having learnt some manners at my dad's house, was a bit more tentative and aware of the line he shouldn't cross. As from the start, they didn't seem at all territorial about their food, switching back and forth between bowls and leaving some for the other if they were full. Both continued to sleep on our bed, sometimes with only inches separating them, but usually at opposite ends. Sometimes in the night Monkey would go to Ziggy and try to lick him and Ziggy would start to purr, then wake up and realize what was happened and act all cross about it.
Despite there being nothing to worry about imo, my husband (who grew up with dogs and does not understand cat body language, but alas is very stubborn) continued to feel that Ziggy was anxious and unhappy (correctly, but I believe Ziggy would have gotten over that given time) and that their nightly playing and Ziggy's whiny-growly vocalizations during playtime were signs of distress and actual fighting (I showed him videos of what cats fighting looks like, shared articles and posts from this site and others, to no avail. The vet, whom he normally trusts, even told him not to intercede and that it would be fine, and laughed when he said Monkey was "bullying" Ziggy, but he didn't listen). When the cats fought, he would shout commands at them from across the room, snap his fingers, and if they ignored him, would get up and physically separate them - pick one of them up, shut one in the other room. Maybe all that is irrelevant -- maybe as their rough-housing got more violent they did hurt each other and that's what changed. Maybe. The only sure thing is that in the last month, something has changed.
At first for a while, it seemed that Ziggy had established dominance, perhaps aided by my husband's interference. For a week, the kitten wouldn't eat until Ziggy was done eating. If I gave them treats side by side, he would look to Ziggy and let him take his treat. Ziggy meanwhile did start to bully the kitten. He started getting so aggressive during playtime that he'd start charging Monkey, and wouldn't give in even when Monkey was giving him clear signs of submission. Ziggy has always had a switch, even when playing with us, where his eyes go really dark and he completely loses all boundaries and becomes really aggressive (he was also a feral stray, and we got him when he was a bit older - maybe 5 months - and I don't know what his situation was before that). That switch started to go off a bit with Monkey, and he's a big, muscular cat. They continued to play, but slowly their play started to verge on real fighting. Not two balls of teeth and nails rolling around on the floor fighting, but ears flattened, tails poofed, defensive poses and circling fighting followed by brief snarling encounters and attempts by Monkey to run and hide.
However, Monkey is an Alpha through and through, and after about a week of being the conciliatory nice guy, he started to fight back. Until then, he'd clearly wanted to be Ziggy's friend, no matter how many times Ziggy rejected him. Now he decided he disliked Ziggy as much as Ziggy disliked him. This first expressed itself as him being territorial over the bed. They each establish themselves on their preferred human/side of the bed, but after an hour or two, Monkey gets up and stalks over to Ziggy, swats him once, then stands over him threateningly till Ziggy growls and leaves. One whole night, Ziggy even slept in the living room -- for I think the first time since we got him. We make a point of inviting him back, I bring Monkey under the covers and cuddle with him while Ziggy sleeps at my husband's feet. Then at 6 am Ziggy starts his morning asking for food routine, which we usually ignore for a couple of hours - after years we managed to teach him not to meow since this just gets him locked out of the room, so he runs up to us, then when we stir runs to his food, then back to us, with little yelps. Unfortunately, this gets Monkey into the chasing mood, and within no time they are fighting. I have to admit to get some sleep I've been caving and giving them their food early to get them to calm down -- which I know probably has re-inforced the pattern. Once they eat, they settle down to sleep again. Then mid-morning they get a bit edgy again -- there is a very nice spot of sunlight in the morning that they compete over -- but after I play with Monkey, they settle down and are peaceable with each other for the rest of the day.
Ziggy I should add has stopped showing any interest in playing with us in the last year, though we've tried playing with them together - he just sits to the side and stares.
Anyway, from the afternoon on I can leave them alone and they won't budge from their side-by side beds by the radiator. They get a small snack late afternoon, then safely back to sleep, but then in the evening Ziggy starts his begging for food routine again -- a full 3-4 hours before it's time to feed him. He's been this way almost from the start, and I have no idea why, because he's always had plenty to eat on a regular schedule (though we did use to feed him earlier in the evening, which is perhaps why he starts begging so early). Even before we got Monkey, waiting for his food would get Ziggy wound up and agitated. He runs back and forth, he runs to the window cause he knows I'll get up for that, then to his food bowl, he does his little whiny yelps, and this again gets Monkey worked up, and he starts chasing Ziggy, and Ziggy starts full on growling cause right then all he wants is his food. Finally... FINALLY, after sometimes 3 hours of Monkey trying to resits chasing Ziggy and Ziggy being agitated and snarling and growling whenever Monkey crosses his eyeline, and occasional air-clawing spats breaking out, it's time for them to eat, after which they settle down for a while longer, if we're lucky. But mostly it's become non-stop spats from 8 pm on to 1 am. They resume chasing each other shortly after eating and Ziggy starts full on growling, then getting aggressive. If I try to play with Monkey, he keeps being distracted by Ziggy's agitation and leaving me to go stalk him. When they do wrestle, the tufts of hair they leave behind have been getting larger and larger. They have a new thing of standing on either side of a door that is ajar and scratching the air between each other from the safety of their side of the door. When they have to pass each other now in a narrow-ish space, they hesitate, then skulk by quickly. When one of them is sitting on me and the other passes within a meter or two away, the one sitting on me stiffens and stops purring. In short, these are clearly two cats who don't like each other, and each is trying to say "I'm the boss", and neither is backing down.
I have finally convinced my husband that his being anxious about their fighting is what stressed them out even more, and that his interference messed with their hierarchy, so now we both talk to them in calm, sweet tones whenever they get aggressive, and try to coax them to us, or, if they leave the room on their own, shut the door behind them. It sorta works, temporarily, some of the time -- a lot better than shouting and snapping did anyway. Monkey has figured out that we don't want him stalking and pouncing on Ziggy, but when Ziggy is worked up, it's just too tempting -- Monkey is drawn to him like a moth to a flame.
Our house is a small 2-room apartment, but we have a cat tree/post, and several staggered cat shelves up one wall, and plenty of toys (though Monkey only wants his mouse on a stick and Ziggy only wants to chew and roll around with his fuzzy ball) and a balcony, and a window sill with a bit of a view, though I'm afraid to open it nowadays in case they start fighting over it and fall. I am trying to get Feliway, but haven't yet found anywhere that will ship it here. You may have guessed from this post that I'm a slightly -- just slightly -- more expressive with Monkey than I am with Ziggy, since he's so much more affectionate, but I do my best to show them equal amounts of love and attention and give them equal lap time. I love Ziggy too -- he's been a member of our family for 9 years now! -- but he doesn't elicit the same type of gaga googoo talk that Monkey does in his ridiculous goofy cuteness. Ziggy is more the regal lion type whose beauty you admire and respect from afar.
To wrap up this overly long account, my question is, what can I do before things get worse? I've tried separating them just for a short half hour to get them to calm down when they just will not stop sniping at each other, and Monkey scratches the door so hard (trying to open it, as he's somehow managed on more than one occasion) that he's splintered the wood at its base. But say I could separate them and give each of them one room -- would that be effective at this late stage? Both their scents are everywhere, they swap beds and food back and forth without a second thought (Monkey got over the food subservience thing after a week and now they don't seem territorial about it at all), so introducing them by scent would be pointless. And who would get the room with the bed? Surely, since the bed is the biggest point of contention, this would be a big signal to the one kept out that he is lower in the pecking order than the other?
Should I ask my friend if he'll take Monkey again for a month (assuming he can, since he's moved), and then try to re-introduce them again, slowly, for what would be the fifth time? I know Ziggy, and he does not forget anything, ever, so I don't know how successful even this will be. Or have the constant separations and re-introductions actually caused the problem?
I've even considered re-homing Monkey, which would break my heart because he is my baby. However, there isn't anyone who could take him. Like I said, this country has no government protection for animals, no sterilization programs whatsoever, and the few people that love cats enough to take them into their homes are already caring for too many of them. But the current situation is making both Ziggy and now Monkey unhappy, and it seems to be getting worse and worse by the day. I fear it's only a matter of time before their sniping turns into a true, full-on cat fight, and once that happens we'll really be in deep water.
Any thoughts, suggestions, ideas, welcome.
Thank you.
We have a now almost 9-year old cat, Ziggy, who has always been a bit standoffish and grumpy, though very well behaved. When he wants some lovin', he'll come and politely ask for a spot on our lap, but most of the time he'd rather be left on his own. He never jumps on the counters or eats our food if we leave it out on the table, even though he's one of the greediest cats I've ever known, always wanting to eat. He's always been a bit skittish and cowardly, but at the same time very vocal in demanding play, his dinner, to go for a walk in the hallway, or when pouncing on our heads in the middle of the night, and quite aggressive in how he plays. He's also always been friendly towards visitors and quite chill about travelling and being introduced to new places, even though we only did this for the first time when he was four. This to give an idea of his personality, since I can't quite pinpoint his cat type. He has the stocky build of a gamma, but I wouldn't call him sweet or mellow, and he's only unassuming when it comes to asking for petting, mostly because he wants it very rarely.
Three years ago, at age 6, he still had a ton of energy and wanted to play for at least half an hour every day (and happily more). We would bring him with us to my husband's family's summer house in the country ever year, and that year a colony of feral kittens had taken up residence near the house and he seemed to really want to play with them (they were too shy to approach), and was even friendly towards the adult females that came and sniffed at the screen door, so we thought he'd be happy to have a cat friend.
So, when less than a year later a tiny stray male kitten wandered into my husband's workplace on wobbly legs, bold as you please, it seemed like serendipity. We couldn't find its parents (we did eventually find them a block away, but by then it was too late), and there are feral kitty-killing males in the area, so the little fellow came home with us.
We got him checked out by the vet, and followed the slow recommended introduction process. His eyes were still blue and I thought he was only a month old, but that was probably due to malnourishment because he had the teeth of a 3 or 4 month old, and grew at an amazing pace. But at first he was so tiny (he could sit in my palm), and Ziggy is so large and aggressive, I didn't even think of letting them in a room together, since I was afraid Ziggy would kill the little guy. I introduced them through the door and, after the initial shock, Ziggy seemed really curious and enthusiastic, and so we eventually let them into the same space, just a little at a time at first, never unsupervised, though perhaps a bit earlier than we should have because they seemed so OK with each other. Unfortunately, the kitten soon developed a fixation with Ziggy's tail. Ziggy generally hates being touched there (I suspect he may have a touch of arthritis?) and became anxious at all times that the kitten was about to pounce. He didn't seem to know what to do with the ball of fluff, and would make little grumpy complaining noises and run away whenever the kitten pounced. I wasn't particularly worried, figuring things would work themselves out, but in the middle of all this my mother fell seriously ill and I had to go take care of her (she lives in a different country). My husband took Ziggy with him to the summer house, but his parents were none too happy that we'd gotten another cat and expressed horror at the thought of his bringing it while it was still in the ripping things apart phase, so with many tears, I left the kitten with a cat-friendly friend. He was 3 months old at the time.
One month later when I returned, he was completely fine, unruffled by my absence or return. His personality was showing by then, and he is clearly an Alpha, outgoing, loving, friendly towards everyone and everything, afraid of nothing and no-one. I have never had a cat almost kill itself as many times as he has, due to his curiosity and lack of self preservation instinct, but I have also never had a cat as loving and full of goodwill towards the world. We named him Monkey, and I brought him back home. Soon after my husband returned with Ziggy, we kept them separated for a couple of days while we re-introduced them, then let them out together. This time they seemed to get along better. The kitten was a bit less rambunctious, and was large enough for Ziggy to play with properly. Ziggy was still anxious and and clearly not happy about this interloper in his home, but he seemed to enjoy their nightly play fights, which were of an appropriate level of violence (with Ziggy holding back a bit), and I figured as the kitten calmed down even more Ziggy would get used to him. Even though Ziggy was a bit on edge and would complain and growl slightly if the kitten wanted to play too much, he was never violent. Indeed, the kitten seemed to be gaining the upper hand in the relationship, since Ziggy was always running away from him.
However, 9 months later, with the kitten now almost a year old, another emergency arose, and I was forced to go help my father this time, in the countryside. Because my husband disagreed with my assessment of them getting along and felt Ziggy was overly anxious and needed a break, I took the kitten with me -- to an old farmhouse with three very bossy elderly females. At first he wanted to be friends with everyone, but unlike Ziggy, within 3 days they had taught him the boundaries and rules of the house, and established a delicate peace, with all four of them staking claim to various parts of my bed at night. He played with one of them a bit, but was mostly happy chasing the insects and watching the birds through the window (the females only came indoors at night in any case, whereas both my cats are indoor only).
Two months later, my husband came to his parents' country house with Ziggy, and I rejoined him for a time with Monkey, having promised to clip his nails on a regular basis and cat-proof the furniture. We again started to give them two days to get used to each other, but after a day one of them got out, and they seemed non-plussed at the sight of each other. In fact, on this more neutral territory they seemed to get along fine. For one thing, the house is much larger than ours, and for another, there is plenty to keep them occupied -- birds and visiting strays and such. The only thing was, with Monkey being full grown and very large in his own right (though long and skinny and less powerful than Ziggy) their nightly play fighting became more violent - on a couple of occasions they left small tufts of fur, and once even a couple of specs of blood. But it was still most definitely playing -- I know what cats look like when they fight and when they play, having grown up surrounded by them (we live in a country with no government shelters, and took in and fed large colonies of strays, so there were always over a dozen cats about).
After less than a month together, my husband returned home with Ziggy, separating them once again (mostly because he had no way of transporting both of them back home together), and I stayed on with Monkey, returning to my father's house with the bossy females We stayed there three more months, then I brought Monkey back home this past November, four months ago now.
Meanwhile, shortly before we returned, Ziggy had a stomach issue and had been to the vet several times -- his favorite! Not -- and had been pumped full of antibiotics, so probably not feeling his best. But again, after a couple of days keeping them separate and letting them sniff each other and eat on either side of the door, everything seemed as before. They continued to play nightly, a bit more violently than I would have liked, but without a doubt playing, and Ziggy continued to be a little bit fretful and whiny for fear Monkey would try to jump him playfully. He also developed a case of feline acne -- so another trip to the vet, and cream applications that made him even grumpier than usual. Slowly though, he seemed to be asserting his dominance over Monkey. He stopped being the one to always run away, and started chasing Monkey back, and started growling a bit more vehemently to get his point across. They took turns chasing each other round when playing. Monkey, having learnt some manners at my dad's house, was a bit more tentative and aware of the line he shouldn't cross. As from the start, they didn't seem at all territorial about their food, switching back and forth between bowls and leaving some for the other if they were full. Both continued to sleep on our bed, sometimes with only inches separating them, but usually at opposite ends. Sometimes in the night Monkey would go to Ziggy and try to lick him and Ziggy would start to purr, then wake up and realize what was happened and act all cross about it.
Despite there being nothing to worry about imo, my husband (who grew up with dogs and does not understand cat body language, but alas is very stubborn) continued to feel that Ziggy was anxious and unhappy (correctly, but I believe Ziggy would have gotten over that given time) and that their nightly playing and Ziggy's whiny-growly vocalizations during playtime were signs of distress and actual fighting (I showed him videos of what cats fighting looks like, shared articles and posts from this site and others, to no avail. The vet, whom he normally trusts, even told him not to intercede and that it would be fine, and laughed when he said Monkey was "bullying" Ziggy, but he didn't listen). When the cats fought, he would shout commands at them from across the room, snap his fingers, and if they ignored him, would get up and physically separate them - pick one of them up, shut one in the other room. Maybe all that is irrelevant -- maybe as their rough-housing got more violent they did hurt each other and that's what changed. Maybe. The only sure thing is that in the last month, something has changed.
At first for a while, it seemed that Ziggy had established dominance, perhaps aided by my husband's interference. For a week, the kitten wouldn't eat until Ziggy was done eating. If I gave them treats side by side, he would look to Ziggy and let him take his treat. Ziggy meanwhile did start to bully the kitten. He started getting so aggressive during playtime that he'd start charging Monkey, and wouldn't give in even when Monkey was giving him clear signs of submission. Ziggy has always had a switch, even when playing with us, where his eyes go really dark and he completely loses all boundaries and becomes really aggressive (he was also a feral stray, and we got him when he was a bit older - maybe 5 months - and I don't know what his situation was before that). That switch started to go off a bit with Monkey, and he's a big, muscular cat. They continued to play, but slowly their play started to verge on real fighting. Not two balls of teeth and nails rolling around on the floor fighting, but ears flattened, tails poofed, defensive poses and circling fighting followed by brief snarling encounters and attempts by Monkey to run and hide.
However, Monkey is an Alpha through and through, and after about a week of being the conciliatory nice guy, he started to fight back. Until then, he'd clearly wanted to be Ziggy's friend, no matter how many times Ziggy rejected him. Now he decided he disliked Ziggy as much as Ziggy disliked him. This first expressed itself as him being territorial over the bed. They each establish themselves on their preferred human/side of the bed, but after an hour or two, Monkey gets up and stalks over to Ziggy, swats him once, then stands over him threateningly till Ziggy growls and leaves. One whole night, Ziggy even slept in the living room -- for I think the first time since we got him. We make a point of inviting him back, I bring Monkey under the covers and cuddle with him while Ziggy sleeps at my husband's feet. Then at 6 am Ziggy starts his morning asking for food routine, which we usually ignore for a couple of hours - after years we managed to teach him not to meow since this just gets him locked out of the room, so he runs up to us, then when we stir runs to his food, then back to us, with little yelps. Unfortunately, this gets Monkey into the chasing mood, and within no time they are fighting. I have to admit to get some sleep I've been caving and giving them their food early to get them to calm down -- which I know probably has re-inforced the pattern. Once they eat, they settle down to sleep again. Then mid-morning they get a bit edgy again -- there is a very nice spot of sunlight in the morning that they compete over -- but after I play with Monkey, they settle down and are peaceable with each other for the rest of the day.
Ziggy I should add has stopped showing any interest in playing with us in the last year, though we've tried playing with them together - he just sits to the side and stares.
Anyway, from the afternoon on I can leave them alone and they won't budge from their side-by side beds by the radiator. They get a small snack late afternoon, then safely back to sleep, but then in the evening Ziggy starts his begging for food routine again -- a full 3-4 hours before it's time to feed him. He's been this way almost from the start, and I have no idea why, because he's always had plenty to eat on a regular schedule (though we did use to feed him earlier in the evening, which is perhaps why he starts begging so early). Even before we got Monkey, waiting for his food would get Ziggy wound up and agitated. He runs back and forth, he runs to the window cause he knows I'll get up for that, then to his food bowl, he does his little whiny yelps, and this again gets Monkey worked up, and he starts chasing Ziggy, and Ziggy starts full on growling cause right then all he wants is his food. Finally... FINALLY, after sometimes 3 hours of Monkey trying to resits chasing Ziggy and Ziggy being agitated and snarling and growling whenever Monkey crosses his eyeline, and occasional air-clawing spats breaking out, it's time for them to eat, after which they settle down for a while longer, if we're lucky. But mostly it's become non-stop spats from 8 pm on to 1 am. They resume chasing each other shortly after eating and Ziggy starts full on growling, then getting aggressive. If I try to play with Monkey, he keeps being distracted by Ziggy's agitation and leaving me to go stalk him. When they do wrestle, the tufts of hair they leave behind have been getting larger and larger. They have a new thing of standing on either side of a door that is ajar and scratching the air between each other from the safety of their side of the door. When they have to pass each other now in a narrow-ish space, they hesitate, then skulk by quickly. When one of them is sitting on me and the other passes within a meter or two away, the one sitting on me stiffens and stops purring. In short, these are clearly two cats who don't like each other, and each is trying to say "I'm the boss", and neither is backing down.
I have finally convinced my husband that his being anxious about their fighting is what stressed them out even more, and that his interference messed with their hierarchy, so now we both talk to them in calm, sweet tones whenever they get aggressive, and try to coax them to us, or, if they leave the room on their own, shut the door behind them. It sorta works, temporarily, some of the time -- a lot better than shouting and snapping did anyway. Monkey has figured out that we don't want him stalking and pouncing on Ziggy, but when Ziggy is worked up, it's just too tempting -- Monkey is drawn to him like a moth to a flame.
Our house is a small 2-room apartment, but we have a cat tree/post, and several staggered cat shelves up one wall, and plenty of toys (though Monkey only wants his mouse on a stick and Ziggy only wants to chew and roll around with his fuzzy ball) and a balcony, and a window sill with a bit of a view, though I'm afraid to open it nowadays in case they start fighting over it and fall. I am trying to get Feliway, but haven't yet found anywhere that will ship it here. You may have guessed from this post that I'm a slightly -- just slightly -- more expressive with Monkey than I am with Ziggy, since he's so much more affectionate, but I do my best to show them equal amounts of love and attention and give them equal lap time. I love Ziggy too -- he's been a member of our family for 9 years now! -- but he doesn't elicit the same type of gaga googoo talk that Monkey does in his ridiculous goofy cuteness. Ziggy is more the regal lion type whose beauty you admire and respect from afar.
To wrap up this overly long account, my question is, what can I do before things get worse? I've tried separating them just for a short half hour to get them to calm down when they just will not stop sniping at each other, and Monkey scratches the door so hard (trying to open it, as he's somehow managed on more than one occasion) that he's splintered the wood at its base. But say I could separate them and give each of them one room -- would that be effective at this late stage? Both their scents are everywhere, they swap beds and food back and forth without a second thought (Monkey got over the food subservience thing after a week and now they don't seem territorial about it at all), so introducing them by scent would be pointless. And who would get the room with the bed? Surely, since the bed is the biggest point of contention, this would be a big signal to the one kept out that he is lower in the pecking order than the other?
Should I ask my friend if he'll take Monkey again for a month (assuming he can, since he's moved), and then try to re-introduce them again, slowly, for what would be the fifth time? I know Ziggy, and he does not forget anything, ever, so I don't know how successful even this will be. Or have the constant separations and re-introductions actually caused the problem?
I've even considered re-homing Monkey, which would break my heart because he is my baby. However, there isn't anyone who could take him. Like I said, this country has no government protection for animals, no sterilization programs whatsoever, and the few people that love cats enough to take them into their homes are already caring for too many of them. But the current situation is making both Ziggy and now Monkey unhappy, and it seems to be getting worse and worse by the day. I fear it's only a matter of time before their sniping turns into a true, full-on cat fight, and once that happens we'll really be in deep water.
Any thoughts, suggestions, ideas, welcome.
Thank you.
