Resident cat keeps his distance from new kitty

Resident cat keeps his distance from new cat

Hello I'm new to this forum, hope someone can help.

I have a 3 years old neutered male cat Nuri living with me as the only cat since he was 2 months old. He is a cool guy, good natured, welcomes guests, but allows only a handful of people pet him. Even with me, he chooses where, when and how long. But he wants to always be in the same room with me and sleeps at an arm's length on or next to the bed.
I just got a 9 months old spayed female calico kitty Afet 24 hours ago. She used to be feral, but has grown very attached to me since I found her in summer in our apartment's garage, fed her for a month although, she would not come out from under the cars or out of the garage. She must have had a frightening experience. Gradually she got used to the yard and allowed me petting her. We got her spayed, neighbors temporarily kept her indoors during the cold months, lost most of her timidness and seems like a normal kitty a bit on the shy side. We are now having tough time putting her out in the yard again. So here she is trying to be the second cat for the past 24 hours.
I have done the scents exchange during the past few weeks while she was at the neighbor's via towels and my clothes, playing with both of them before and after interacting.
The little one is set up in a separate room now in line with the recommended protocol and seems quiet happy and relaxed. In fact, she is curious about the rest of the house and at the door each time I go in.
The problem or challenge is the resident cat. Other than that specific room, the whole house belongs to the resident cat. However, he created a danger zone that starts in the corridor a couple of meters from the room and will not even go through that zone to other rooms. He sensed something is going on in that room and goes to the door for a few seconds then runs back tail down. No hissing or growling just running back timidly. Meanwhile, new kitty pleasantly meows at him each time she gets a visit. Rest of the time, he is either watching birds or sleeping in the living room which is his safe zone as if it's business as usual. The problem is I can't get him to eat even a few meters away from the door. Once I picked him up and took him to the food bowl close to the door and he hissed so I let him go. Also, I think he is scared to use his litter box which is in a bathroom somewhat close to the new kitty room. Thankfully, he has not eliminated anywhere else either. It's been 24 hours, he has peed just a bit only once and no poop for 36 hours. (He is normally very regular once a day and several trips for pee).
How can I make him go more to the door of new kitty and eat and play there? Should I add a third litter box away from the danger zone or wait some more since adding that will separate them even more?

It seems like they will lead separate lives in the same house. Of course it's been 24 hours, maybe I'm expecting too much.
Is this an ok start considering no hissing or growling? Or a sign of things will get worse or take a very long time? I have not done this ever before so I have no basis for comparison.
I can't find Feliway or similar stuff where I live. So all I can do is behavior adjustment.

Any help will be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Actually, it is a very good start.  And since Nuri has been an only cat for so long it may take weeks or even months for full integration to happen.  So far, so good.  I would add another litter box if only to keep Nuri from developing any bad habits due to timidity.  Let them take their time about it all.  The site/scent swapping it crucial, so keep that up.  They should have BOTH sets of scents all over your house.  I am very confident that you can do this.

IF Nuri develops severe anxiety, you can give him 1/2 of a teaspoon of chamomile tea a couple of times a day.  It is calming, and not so harsh as prescription anxiety meds.  It can, coincidentally, also be used topically on skin irritations.

Welcome to TCS!  We have a forum listed in The General Forums called "New Cats on the Block."  We'd love to have you introduce yourself and your cats there.  Pictures are MOST welcome!  You now have a support group, and a ready-made set of friends!

OH...and thank you especially for adopting Asfet.  Tri-colored cats can have a very hard time finding homes for some reason.  I, personally, prefer them, torties being my ultimate favorite (see my avatar, Ms. Hekitty).

Than you for your advice Mamanyt1953. I did put an extra litter box last night and this morning - after 60 hours, the long awaited poop arrived.
Nuri started eating little bits of food close to the door. And I for now accept that he eats the rest at his usual place.
Both cats did some kneading with other's scent on my clothes, which must be a good sign I guess.
Camomile tea is a great idea. Sounds harmless compared to other stuff. I will have it as my backup plan, for when and if things get tough.

Thanks so much for the advice. It feels good to hear encouragement.

I hope I can make it work as the calico is really an angel, and would have difficult time back in the yard, even if I feed her regularly.

Please keep me posted.  This isn't my area of serious expertise, but I know the basics, and really, some of it is common sense (hard to remember when you are in the middle of a crisis).  I'm invested in this now!  If I don't know, I'll try to find out for you!

Mark out the "danger zone". Day one put his favorite treat (never underestimate the power of cat treats, especially those really moist, stinky ones) *just* inside of the danger zone. When he eats it, pet him and give him a lot of praise. The next day, put the treat just the slightest bit farther into the danger zone (like maybe the length of the Nuri's head). Once again, pet him and give him a lot of praise for a job well done. Keep moving the treat closer and closer until it reaches the door. If Nuri seems uncomfortable, move the treat back a little bit.

During this process, continue with scent exchanging. I'd also recommend to play with a fishing pole type toy with one of the cats and then use the same toy to play with the other cat. Be patient! If this method works, Nuri will be at that door before you know it!

Since you don't have Feliway, what I would recommend is placing some of your dirty clothes in the area. I know this sounds weird, but cats know their human's smells and therefore love the smell of their humans' sweaty clothes (it's like they're smelling you 10 times more!) This might help Nuri relax. 

As other posters have suggested, I'd recommend adding extra litter boxes outside of the danger zone so that Nuri doesn't feel forced to go into that zone. 

Thanks so much for the advice Mamanyt1953 and Abyeb.

It's Day 4 and I think we made some progress. Danger zone is now only caution zone. Nuri feels ok to spend time and play as he used to in the bedroom across this zone. He would not do this two days ago. Smell swapping is working ok. Neither of them are irritated by the socks I keep exchanging.
The slowest progress is with Nuri eating close to the door. Just one treat once and a bit of food the other time, but mostly he just turns around and goes away even if its his favorite food. So he wins as I don't want to force him and make him unhappy. I have to be more patient and try as you say just a small step at a time maybe. I think it's not Afet's smell that throws him off because he eats at his regular place next to the sock with her smell. Maybe he can feel/sort of see the shadow of Afet moving next to the door and is distracted by the action. I will try the dirty laundry. He likes kneading my sweatshirt, so it may work. Also the fishing pole toy sounds great.
We also did short sessions of room swapping. Afet is great in exploring the rest of the house. Nuri went into her room first time smelling around for 15 secs, second time 5 mins max, then got out to do his own thing elsewhere. No hissing growling just curious and a bit worried.

Next step is meeting across a half covered glass door. I guess I should hold that until we succeed with the eating next to the door. Feeling ok about the smell of each other, even kneading with that smell on me doesn't count right? Eating is a must?

Btw, I saw your messages just now. Feels great someone is there to support. Thank you so much again.

I'd wait.  You don't want to rush this, because a setback now would be a REAL setback, and take even longer to overcome. 

You aren't alone in this.  Patience is the most important word right now.  That Nuri is even considering reducing the danger zone to a wary zone is WONDERFUL after this short a time.  You will get there.

Hi there,
Today has been a week.
Nuri seems to be making a lot of progress. They both lay comfortably on each other's blanket and sleep. Certain areas Nuri refused to go after the new cat coming in are gradually becoming ok. They play with the same toy. Nuri is eating his treats almost right next to the door. As for food I'm moving his dish and water tray the whole station a little for each meal. Right now he eats 9 ft away from the door in the corridor quiet comfortably.
What I want to check with you is a new thing he started doing. He sits maybe 2 ft away from the door on his side hands curled in front kind of careful but relaxed and watches and listens. This happens mostly when he knows I'm in the room and sometimes when I'm away. He does not go away or move when I get out of the room, stays calm, sort of looking in. I sometimes don't react, and once I gave him treats while sitting there which he ate.
Is this a good sign of potential friendship? Or is he getting comfortable and more in charge, hence chance of attacking the new kitty is more when they meet? What should I do? Encourage? Limit time sitting there? Ignore?
I'm applying all your recommendations and they are working.
Thank you.

Here is a picture [
IMG]http://www.thecatsite.com/content/type/61/id/408346/width/200/height/400[/IMG]

My computer wouldn't follow the link, but that may be something I'm doing.  I'm notoriously bad with computers!  HOWEVER!  This is a good sign, AND a sign that he is feeling more comfortable and in charge.  A cat sure of his own place doesn't NEED to attack.  I'd encourage him so long as he is calm, and ignore if he gets antsy, or redirect with a toy.  Keep doing what you are doing for now.  They're a long way from ready for a face-to-face yet, but they are getting there!  And, when the time comes, if there's a bit of growling and swatting, well...sometimes a cat's just gotta say what a cat's gotta say.  Doesn't mean much in the grand scheme of things.  A real cat-fight involves screaming and torn fur and blood on the floor.  A little cursing is pretty normal when cats first meet, although it might NOT happen!

Ah...no, this is not a sign of aggression to come.  He's just checking it out, curious but not afraid, which is pretty much what you want.

Thanks Mamanyt1953. I was hoping this was positive too.

Today, Nuri has come to eating 2-3 ft away from the door. And was even comfortable playing there. But, I think I did something wrong. I went to the room next door practically the door adjacent to the new kitty room and closed the door and started playing with a rope under the door. My main objective was to later use this rope under the new kitty door for them to play together. Nuri initially started to play, but after a minute or so when I opened the door I found him hissing at the new kitty under her door. A few times. Then he stepped back and hissed some more until I managed to distract him with the rope to move away and come with me to play elsewhere. I put away the rope and took out another favorite toy with which he did play intensely maybe a bit aggressively, then ended the game and gave him a treat. He first sat at the corridor a long distance from the new kitty door calmly but carefully watching the door then came into the living room to lay down and sleep. After a short nap, he is now back at his food station eating. No new incident.

So, an hour ago I was thinking we were progressing. But now I'm quiet disappointed. In fact this is the first hiss at the new kitty ever. Was he agitated by the mystery rope and redirected his fear at the kitty? Or was I too optimistic thinking we skipped the hissing phase? I guess I should stop pushing the food bowl closer at least 12 hours and slow things down?

Next morning. And the hissing continues. Nuri looks under the door hisses a few times then walks away. Food tray is a feet or two away. He will have to eat at some point. Am I pushing it? I'm startinf to get impatient at Day 11. Shouldn't the hissing be over by now rather than just starting?

SIGH...it doesn't take much, does it?  Something as innocuous as a game at the wrong time and everything slides back.  DO NOT beat yourself up over it, but do remember it.  This cat is quite shy.  Back the food up slowly till you find the safe distance for him, and just begin again.  I really think you can do this.

Thanks for the encouragement Mamanyt1953. The hissing behind the door ended. And Nuri seemed comfortable. So this morning I tried an introduction across a glass door. I was with new kitty and a friend liked by Nuri on his side. Things went quiet well. Both stared at each other for a bit, took turns approaching the door, hissed a couple of times but mostly stared, then concentrated on their food. We also gave them treats and ended the meeting in 2-3 minutes.
Encouraged by this first meet I wanted to repeat it in the evening by myself. This time the new one alone and I on Nuri's side. Did not go as well as the morning. Nuri mostly approached the glass, stared and hissed and this time growled a bit although I was able to distract him. And he did not eat at all. The new cat Afet did not hiss at all, had her tail up the whole time. When hissing continued she retreated slowly to her room and then came out to see what's going on. She even ate her food while Nuri stared. Since I could not get Nuri to completely stop his hiss and growl, although not too bad or aggressive, I ended the session in 5 minutes distracting him with a toy and taking him away.

Question: Should I continue these little short behind-the-glass meetings despite the hissing and encourage less hiss, with more play on Nuri side? Or retreat to closed door feeding again? The new one seems ok with the whole exercise. At least should I try one more session to see if hissing increases or decreases? Would this be detrimental for the whole process?

I would go back to the closed door feeding for now, just to be on the safe side.  It isn't a step back, but...just staying in place for a while longer.  Do remember that you are early days yet, and you don't want to move faster than the slowest adjusting cat can handle.  See if he relaxes into that again, then let him just do well with that task for a couple of weeks ( I know, but these things take time) THEN try the sight feedings again.  Do you have a baby gate that you could drape a towel over, so that they can fully smell each other but not see each other?  That may help.  Then you could raise the towel for just a minute at a time, very slowly increasing the time as Nuri adjusts.