Playing vs fighting

Hello all!

I have a new fur member in my family and I am slightly concerned about the interactions between the kitten and resident cat.

Some background: resident cat (Maizy) is almost 2, female, spayed, and has lived with another cat before. New kitten (Mac) is 13 weeks old and a nurtured male.

I did the whole slow introductions and swapping smell, different rooms etc. they are now having surpervised time together.

Every time I bring Mac (kitten) out Maizy (older cat) runs over and smells and licks him. They play. Chasing mutual back and forth and wrestling. It's pretty constant like all the time. My resident cat seems to get annoyed with kitten after a while and will growl at him with the very rare hiss. I have seen one instance of biting but no one seems affected by it. It's seeming like kitten is not getting the picture. He will back off for a minute and go right back at her. And she's been "wrestling or attacking" him more as time goes on.

I'm concerned that the playing it becoming hostile. Any suggestions or advice on how to make it better? Thanks!

Think toddler, Mac is unsocialised and Maizy is an adult. Maizy wants Mac to play within the rules and when Mac doesn't she gets annoyed. Unfortunately for Maizy, Mac is too young at the moment to get with the program.

Sooner or later things will calm down but in the meantime having places up high and elsewhere where she can go when she's had enough.

Interactive playing with Mac will burn off some of his excess energy as well. 

As a last resort I separate my cats for a few minutes, this seems to reset them, they go and do other things when they are let out. 

Introducing a kitten to a resident cat can be tricky. The resident cat might feel threatened, and downright confused by the kitten's energy. It sounds like you did a good job with the introductions, some cats just might need more time. Separate them again and make sure to spend plenty of time with both Maizy and Mac. Then try the introduction process again. You may be surprised how much easier it is in both cats the second time around! Here's a few extra hints:

- if you have a glass door inside your home, put Maizy on one side and Mac on the other. That way, they'll be able to see each other without feeling threatened or at risk for violence.

-before having them in the same room, feed both cats a meal. This accomplishes two things: the cat's will associate each other with something positive (food!) and will feel more lazy after they have eaten so will be less likely to want to attack the other cat.

-have meetings on "neutral territory". You probably had Mac confined to a small area during his first days in your home. Mac, therefore, sees that area as his. Maizy sees the entire rest of the house as hers. If you have a meeting on either of the cat's own "territories", the "owner" of that area will try to "defend their land" from the trespasser. See if you can find a space that you usually don't let Maizy. Then have the meeting in that room. Not only will the cats feel less threatened, but they'll also be curious about exploring the new space and therefore less interested in attacking the other cat.

-bring a fishingpole type toy to the meetings. Drag it around the floor and have the cats chase it. The cats will: a. Be more interested in attacking the toy than each other, and b. Realize that they can play nicely together!

-put extra litter boxes, scratching posts, and water bowls around the house so the cat's don't feel like three have to compete for resources.

-the cats should be fed separately. Even in a purr-fect feline friendship, there will be a dominant cat and a submissive cat. (If you want to figure out who's who, when both cats are perching on a cat tree, the cat on the higher perch is the dominant cat. In the feline world, height=power because higher up gives a better view of prey as well as potential enemies). If both cats are fed at the same time, the dominant cat will try to steal food from the submissive cat. This leaves with the dominant cat with too much food and the submissive cat with too little.

-after good interaction sessions, reward each cat with a healthy cat treat!

-make sure that you're spending plenty of time with both Maizy and Mac individually

-if these interactions continue to be rough, consider trying a Feliway diffuser or spray. Feliway mimics the "happy pheromones" produced by cats. This will make both cats feel calmer and more relaxed. And don't worry, Feliway does NOT affect humans. Some veterinarians even spray themselves with Feliway before handling feline patients!

I hope this helps. I'm sure that with some time and effort, Mac and Maizy will become the best of friends. Maizy might, eventually, be happier than she was before because she has a meow buddy to play with!