Skittish 7 month old

Hi all
I have a dilemma I recently adopted a 7 month old female tabby...I've had her for a month and she still won't approach me, runs away, I've never seen or had a cat take so long to adapt, she's in love with my 2yr old male cat, she wanders all over the house plays with him but won't come near me, she's very skittish, but will let me pet her in her bed

Any suggestions or explainations?
Thanks

Some cats are like that. One of my ferals was real friendly to my spouse and me outside but now only to me (but loves the other cats) after she came inside. 

It is great your new cat loves the other cat. As long as she is happy.

I would use food to have her warm up to you. Really good special food. I use warm chicken thigh meat. But good wet food, turkey, what ever they like. Food really builds trust and a bond. Talk softly and loving to her. Let her initiate contact (she'll rub on you at first, then do a headbutt, etc). Don't force her to be affectionate. Try to play. Give her places to go high (cat trees) and cat scratchers to let her own something and get her scent on it.

Be as calm and confident around her as possible.

She'll most likely come around. Just love her like I know you do. 

But you are in a good place and as long as she is happy I think it is a good situation. 

Let me know if you have any questions or concerns. I am happy to try to help. Thank you for caring for your cats.

CalicosRSpecial said:

 
She'll most likely come around. Just love her like I know you do. 

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That's the world's best advice.  Be patient' be gentle; Love her the best ways you can, and she'll come 'round.

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It will take a little time for her to feel more confident. However, it's a great sign that she is wandering all over the house. She is getting her bearings, and since she is still very young, she will also learn some behaviors from your male cat. His comfort level will help encourage her comfort level. With a cat who is "shy", it's best to always let them come to you in order to build their trust.

I know our kitty Milly loves lolling around on t-shirts that I or my husband have worn recently. If your new kitten sleeps during the day in a place other than your bed, you might consider putting one of your recently-worn pieces of clothing in that area so that she can get used to your scent.

Great ideas guys thanks!

Since she's so young still, play might be the most important thing to her, so use that to your advantage. Have a special toy, like a wand toy, or game that involves you, and put the toy out of reach when you leave so she can associate you with an extra special treat and get excited whenever you walk in the room!

Food is also helpful! Meat human baby food is useful, because cats love it and you can put a little on the tip of your finger and she has to lick it off to eat it. She can't grab it from you and run away, so this way she gets more human contact with a positive association.

Interact on her terms as much as possible. Give her the option to do something rather than forcing something to build trust. Instead of reaching out and petting her, for example, offer her your hand or fist to sniff and rub against if she feels like it first. If she's not interested, let her walk away.

You may feel like not a lot of progress is being made, but cats can be very subtle so more might be changing than you realize at first. Cats are very deliberate about where they spend their time, so even if she's not cuddling up with you, just being in the same room with you is a choice she's made because she wants to be near you. If she's sitting with her back to you, it doesn't mean she's ignoring you, but rather that she feels safe enough with you to not be watching you every second.

Also you mentioned that she likes petting in bed. Perhaps she feels safest around you when you are lying down, so you can try lying down in other places around the house and see if she's more interested. A person lying down seems a lot less likely to grab or do whatever it is she's afraid of. My cat isn't shy but she still likes it best when I'm lying down too.