Cat Jokes
Why did the cat frown when she passed the hen house?
Because she heard fowl language!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
What do you call a cat that has just eaten a whole duck?
A duck filled fatty puss!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
What do cats read in the morning?
Mewspapers!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
How is a cat laying down like a coin?
Because he has his head on one side and his tail on the other!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
What cat purrs more than any other?
Purrsians
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
What does a cat call a bowl of mice?
A purrfect meal!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
What is another way to describe a cat?
A heat seeking missile!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
What did the cat do when he swallowed some cheese?
He waited by the mouse hole with baited breath!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Why was the cat so small?
Because he only drank condensed milk.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Why happened when the cat swallowed a coin?
There was some money in the kitty.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
What do you do with a blue Burmese?
Try and cheer it up!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
What's worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
How is cat food sold?
Usually purr can!
Noah Jokes
What did Noah say as he was loading the Ark?
"Now I herd everything"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Why did the people on the ark think the horses were pessimistic?
They kept saying neigh.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
What animal could Noah not trust?
The cheetah.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Why couldn't they play cards on the ark?
Noah was sitting on the deck.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Who was the first canning factory run by?
Noah - he had a boat full of preserved pairs.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Was Noah the first one out of the Ark?
No, he came forth out of the ark.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Which animal took the most baggage into the ark? What animal took the least?
The elephant took his trunk. But the fox and the rooster took only a brush and comb between them.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Why weren't there any worms on the ark?
Because worms come in apples not in pairs.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Where did Noah keep the bees?
In the ark hives.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Where was Noah when the lights went out?
In d'ark.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Why couldn't Noah catch many fish?
He only had two worms.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
What did the cat say when the ark landed?
Is that Ararat?
Why did the cat frown when she passed the hen house?
Because she heard fowl language!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
What do you call a cat that has just eaten a whole duck?
A duck filled fatty puss!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
What do cats read in the morning?
Mewspapers!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
How is a cat laying down like a coin?
Because he has his head on one side and his tail on the other!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
What cat purrs more than any other?
Purrsians
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
What does a cat call a bowl of mice?
A purrfect meal!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
What is another way to describe a cat?
A heat seeking missile!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
What did the cat do when he swallowed some cheese?
He waited by the mouse hole with baited breath!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Why was the cat so small?
Because he only drank condensed milk.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Why happened when the cat swallowed a coin?
There was some money in the kitty.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
What do you do with a blue Burmese?
Try and cheer it up!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
What's worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
How is cat food sold?
Usually purr can!
Noah Jokes
What did Noah say as he was loading the Ark?
"Now I herd everything"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Why did the people on the ark think the horses were pessimistic?
They kept saying neigh.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
What animal could Noah not trust?
The cheetah.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Why couldn't they play cards on the ark?
Noah was sitting on the deck.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Who was the first canning factory run by?
Noah - he had a boat full of preserved pairs.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Was Noah the first one out of the Ark?
No, he came forth out of the ark.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Which animal took the most baggage into the ark? What animal took the least?
The elephant took his trunk. But the fox and the rooster took only a brush and comb between them.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Why weren't there any worms on the ark?
Because worms come in apples not in pairs.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Where did Noah keep the bees?
In the ark hives.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Where was Noah when the lights went out?
In d'ark.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Why couldn't Noah catch many fish?
He only had two worms.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
What did the cat say when the ark landed?
Is that Ararat?
