Sexual aggression. Solutions?

Hello all!

As the title says, I have a male cat trying to hump/rape my female.

I have two cats, both adults, both neutered when they were adults because they were strays.

My male is not impressed by anything. When we got him, he started humping whatever he could find: blankets, sweaters, ours arms...Until he got a stuffed toy and now he humps it at least once a day. He probably likes the feeling because it's been three year and he never stopped.

But I adopted a female. She is really sweet and not nervous and she is social towards him. Sometimes she tries to play with him but it always ends up in screaming and hissing.

He tries to grab her neck almost everytime she comes close to him. He meows in a very specific way, the same way he does before humping his toy. Sometimes she walks away calmly sometimes he manages to climb on her and try to hump her and she turns around and they wrestle while the male screams and the female growls and hiss.

She has scabs on her neck and she refuses to play with him now because he is too rough. They don't always fight and she eats first and they even sleeps next to each other until the male tries to rape her in the middle of the night....But during the day she often stay away from us because when he hears her coming towards us, he hides and get all excited to jump on her.


I feel awful for her.

I have a couple of ideas to try to help and I'd like I have opinions...

1- I bring him to the vet and ask if they have some sort of drugs or injection to calm him down ( they even inject progesterone)
2- I take away his stuffed dog and split them when he tries to rape her..
3- I get another cat, propaby male, with high energy and hope to get my cat tired to the point where he won't feel like raping the female....( He lived with a foster male kitten for a while and they played well, without hissing and humping)
4- I rehome the female...Which would break my heart...


I know that's a lot to read, sorry. But we need help....

Thank you, from me, Teddy and Winnie.

So... I would say, get a lavender calming room wallflower. Try it out, see if it clams anything. If that doesn't help, Punish the male cat. This can be separating him into a small room or spraying him with a water bottle.  Is he comfortable in the home? Does he feel safe? If so good. I would say if he feels uncomfortable not to specifically punish him with anything that would make him more uncomfortable. If all else fails, re-home one of them.

Thank you so much for answering! No one knows what to do haha...

I never tried lavender but I did try feliway and boar mate on the female without success...

I do tell him to stop before r gets to her and he does but it seems to be hard for himself to control it. Because when he stops in his tracks he seems confuse and look around to find something to do...

And I hope he's fine home...He is a really calm cat. Nothing bothers him except my brother who enjoys annoying him sometime.

If anything, he is under stimulated because he wants to go out but I won't let him....And he has a lot of energy....

And I also want to say that my sentences might not make sense sometimes....I mostly speak French so I tend to make syntax mistakes...

You mention he might be under stimulated? If you play with him, will he still later that day try to get on top of her? Have you tried keeping a wand toy near you and catching his attention with that when you see him nearing her?

My idea is, perhaps start creating the connection in his head that she is there to play with. Because right now he probably thinks she's there to hump on.

So sorry you're dealing with this, I feel so bad for your female kitty too.

Welcome to TCS   Your English is absolutely fine - certainly much better than my French is!    You really do have a difficult problem there.   Poor little Winnie.  They are both very beautiful cats, btw.

We generally don't advise anyone to spray water at a cat for punishment here, or really to punish a cat at all.  They don't understand it and just become fearful of you.  You were on the right track giving him his own stuffed toy to "love."  A lot of our members have male cats who have stuffed toys or favorite blankets that they like to get happy with.  Don't take that away from him.  He needs it.   The short term solution when he starts an assault is to say "NO" and put him on a time out.  This isn't going to resolve the problem, however.

Often this kind of behavior is a dominance issue and can result when two cats are not properly introduced.  In Teddy's case, however, that doesn't seem to be the case.  He was already humping everything in sight before Winnie arrived on the scene.  For this reason, I think your first idea - taking him to the vet - is the way to go.  I have never heard of cats being injected with progesterone for being overly amorous so can't comment on that but there are medications on the market that help calm down aggressive cats.  These are usually either members of the SSRI antidepressant class of drugs or anti-anxiety drugs like valium.

Having said all the above:  are you sure Teddy was neutered properly?  He does sound like he's being driven wild by his hormones.  I realize he was neutered late in life, but this still seems excessive.  You might ask the vet about testing his testosterone levels to see if there is anything going on medically that needs attention.

Please let us know how it goes at the vet.   And best of luck to all three of you.

I agree with @Margd  It would be a good idea to get him checked by the vet to make sure no tissue was left over when he was neutered. They can do a blood test to determine whether he has a high level of male hormone. The fact that he has been humping things even before you introduced a new cat suggests this might be so.

Please don't spray him with a water bottle. This won't help at all as he won't realise that you are spraying him to stop him humping or trying to scruff the girl cat.

Let us know how things go at the vet and we'll try to suggest some more things you can try.

Omg I got answers! Thank you so much.

I have been told by numerous people to just spray him....But I do not believe in thay kind of method.

If Teddy plays and Winnie comes close, he will either stop and wait, letting her get the toy, or try to get her.
And yes even after I played with him. I never saw that cat tired except when I had a high energy kitten in foster care.

He also shows some signs of misdirected aggression. For example, if my brother or anyone else piss him off by just poking at him or being rough, he gets pissed, tail and ears showing it, and he looks for Winnie....

I do not know if he was neutered properly. I met him a Friday, he was intact. I got him a Saturday night, he was still drowsy. It was done at an animal shelter. I know he was neutered because the smell of his pee was awful when hi got him but it went away 2-3 days later....


And my cats have interactive bowls, shelves to climb on, sooooo many toys and I try I play with both of them everyday... Teddy's favorite game is run with us or after a ball up and down the hall for 10-15 minutes lol

The only time he never never touch her is when she eats.

They both used to be strays and I know they both have a really high predator drive. They really go crazy when they see small animals and Teddy chirps and meows at birds...


I think I'm gonna call a vet. I do feel bad about the idea of driving him... But I can't imagine them being happy right now.

Sorry if you mentioned this earlier and I missed it when you say you met him Friday and he was still intact do you mean last Friday? As in four days ago? It can take up to 2-3 weeks for the existing sex hormones to break apart and no longer be detectable in the blood stream. If he was only neutered 3-4 days ago, the urine may smell ok but he may still be behaviorally affected by his sex hormones.

And I'm glad you didn't just spray him with a water bottle. Here's an article on the topic which explains why it's a bad idea to spray cats -

 [article="32493"]The Dos And Donts Of Cat Behavior Modification​[/article]   

No I should have said a Friday sorry. Teddy was adopted two years ago....I thought three but no its two. And he wasn't fixed when I met him.

He can be as young as 4 years old and as old as 6 years old...

I don't know if he's dominant but he does have a strong personality. He's the kind of cat I can bring in the car with a harness and he'll stick his head out. At the vet he stays on my laps and I can bring him over people's houses for dinner and he'll rubber around and ask to be pet. He is really calm.

I did introduce them quickly because both of them are so easy going, Winnie wanted out of the room by the first day and when they did meet, neither of them hissed. They just looked at each other then walked around. They were both really curious.
Winnie was picked specifically for RR behavior. In the shelter, she would completely ignore the others cats and even cuddle on me at the same time as another one. She would smell them and wouldn't hiss at any of them... That's why I took her.

I can't stop wondering if Teddy would act the same way with a male....



More pictures because why not

They're both gorgeous cats and I hope you get the problem fixed cause they seem like they would otherwise be best buddies It would be a shame to put him on medication since you describe him as such a perfect cat, behavior wise (so friendly!) and mind altering drugs should really be somewhat of a last resort. I agree that a spray bottle is also not the way to go, I've tried it only once or twice when Elfie was a kitten and I didn't like how scared it made her but maybe it works? If I'd get sprayed every time I tried to do something specific I would probably stop eventually too. Taking him to the vet to get his hormones checked, I agree, is probably a good idea.

I went to a vet to talk about my cat...They seemed to find the whole thing quite unusual and funny....
They said it's pointless to test because he got neutered and expect if one of the testiculs was stuck inside or something, then there wouldn't be any thing left...Also even neutered cats can show testosterone on the test so the vet didn't seem to be really interested in testing anything...Also they believed that testosterone would cause marking and jowls cheeks...

I'm getting bummed out....I'm looking for a cat behaviorist but it's quite expensive...

I'm thinking more and more about giving Winnie to another home even if she is the sweetest girl ever. I can't properly sleep because they fight on the bed at night sometimes and I get anxious all the time....I get really upset at my male cat and I hate feeling like that towards him.

Anybody thinks a playful young male could help my male puts his focus elsewhere? I would love a third cat if it would make the home better, but I'm not gonna bring a new cat if my current male acts like that with the new one also.

I just filmed them . He doesn't hump her but bites her neck and it's always like that but usually rougher....
Sorry for the background noise. That the boyfriend doing dishes lol
[video][/video]

It does look like they're learning to deal with each other. That may take time. It does look like the male it trying to assert dominance over the female.
Also bare in mind it was probably quite jarring for the male to suddenly have another cat on his turf.
Start over praising and reserve all treats for rewarding when good behaviour is shown.
If all else fails and the male still tries to assert dominance look online there are ways to assert dominance by gently scruffing and holding down gently. This will assert your dominance so the male will learn "his" place in the pecking order. My neighbour showed me one of these when my girl gets too aggressive. But please research before attempting as it is important to get it right and not hurt.

They have been like that from the begining. She is pretty calm but you can tell she avoids him all the time...

Also he used to live with an elder female before and always tried to ay with her.... Never was able to touch her however. She was really skittish.

And he lived a couple weeks with a foster kitten and they played like crazy to the point where my male would hide from the kitten to sleep...The kitten never got injured or scared...


That's why I'm starting to wonder if he's just awful at playing
Sometimes he even bites us if he gets upset and lock our arms in his paws, biting super hard....

Maybe he doesn't know how to play?

I watched your video. Oh, poor little Winnie. She really is getting bullied.  

It's interesting what you say about Teddy maybe not knowing how to play.  Cats who were separated from their mothers and littermates when they were too young often miss out on play lessons so you might be right that this is some of the problem.  Adopting another young frisky male might help but it could also backfire.  Many rescues will allow you to have a trial period with a potential pet so if you do decide to adopt, going with a trial period would be a good idea.   Rescues want to place their cats where they will thrive so you should be able to find one that will accommodate this request.  I think this is worth trying, before giving up on Winnie. 

Meanwhile, does Winnie have safe places where she can get away from Teddy?  Cat trees are great for this as the bullied cat can often get some peace by fleeing to the top shelf.  She really does need an escape from his attentions. 

About the testosterone test - a test would show if Teddy's levels were higher than those normally seen in neutered cats.   It's true that knowing this information wouldn't resolve the issue, but it might give you some insight into what's going on.

I really hope you do not have to find Winnie a new home.  She really is such a sweetheart. 

Also hope you get some sleep. 

Thank you....

Teddy was found as a stray. I do not know what happened to him before we got him. He is not delicate with us when he's upset lol....I can do a lot to him without him caring, like holding him like a baby, pretending he dances etc and he just waits....But pet him in the wrong place or annoy him with your hand and he turns into a predator biting our hand and ankles...He's better with us. But not with her...

I'm scared that the kitten with backfire yeah....
Problem is: I'm not supposed to bring a third cat in my allartemwnt. I do move in July in a house, but I'm pregnant and I doubt any rescue would let me get a cat right before the baby arrives....

Winnie usually hides under the table and in tunnels since he can't bitw her there. She also climbs on tables..They have a cat tree and shelves but she rarely uses it.

I think giving Winnie plenty of escape routes might help. She is a lot smaller than him and she seems to head for her cat tunnels. Maybe you could set up some tunnels for her behind the couch or under the table that are too narrow for Teddy to get into? Make sure she has an exit at the opposite end. Check hardware stores for sections of plastic tubing that you can leave for her. Another thing you could do is get some cardboard boxes, attach them to each other to form a tunnel and make small, round entrances in them.

It looks to me like play aggression. My male cats try to scruff each other like that in their wrestling matches. I wonder if Teddy would like some bigger toys to play with? Something like a kickeroo that he could bite and pull around might keep him happy.

 

Thanks for the answer. Winnie loves to hide in the tunnel yes. And under the tables. She has a big box to hide in it and teddy doesn't go in it at the same time as her...

I used to have a kickeroo....Teddy doesn't like it... He likes his stuffed dog, to hump it, to run after strings or to chase balls.
They both stop playing if the other is playing....

I really think I messed up when I chose Winnie...I took a calm cat that didn't care for the other cats but I should have look for a energic cat that plays rough....

Teddy never blocks her path or stare her down in a dominant way, head low, back high, etc... He just grabs her roughly.

I just made another video this morning...It's not 100% aggression or the cats wouldn't roll on their back would they?
[VIDEO][/VIDEO]

That looks like play to me. Winnie seemed to be handling Teddy very well there. Maybe they're getting used to each other, learning how much rough and tumble the other likes?

Thanks for the answer.

It looked like play to me too. It often looks like that but teddy gets too intense and she'll scream and leave.

Or if she runs after a toy, he will try to block her path and she will jump over him an they chase each other around until she manages to hide.


Thinking more and more about adopting a playful young male to help teddy have a play mate and to help Winnie get some peace.... :/