TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › IMO: In My Opinion › Teenage sex, what's your take?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Teenage sex, what's your take? - Page 2

post #31 of 55
Quote:
Originally posted by yoviher
I have just read a series of statistics in Spanish that say that already one fifth of all births in Puerto Rico are of teenage mothers. Of course, that would be 20% of all pregnancies in a country of around 4 million people. It also gives out that some towns in Puerto Rico, particularly the poorer towns have indexes of over 60%

This numbers are considered scandalously high here. After seeing this, I decided that not being foreign in the least with that particularly touchy subject, and discarding like yesterday’s trash those adults who simply don’t like to hear a teenager talking about that subject; put on the thinking cap on this subject and made this analysis of things, which would IMO, truly reduce such numbers, than the failure most attempts have been:

1.\tMost of the propaganda goes on trying to encourage abstinence. Trying to make a campaign based only on abstinence is doomed to failure from the start. Because, many won’t do it. In publicity campaigns it ought to be more of “Don’t do it, but if you do play it safe†or something among those lines, as then you reach the population who would not take to heart the first part.

2.\tMake sure that relatively cheap methods of birth control (such as condoms) are available to everyone. If you advertise of “playing it safe†and then ask for photo ID in order to buy condoms (as one legislator here tried to propose, as according to him it would reduce teenage pregnancies) all you are doing is wasting a lot of money in advertising. You would also need to have your head checked.

3.\tKeep all forms of abortions legal. This does not fall nicely on the pro-life folks, but it is the truth. If you try to ban abortion then you will have all the pregnancies of those who commit the mistake or such things. At the same time, you eliminate the virtual “Last resource†of avoiding such.

4.\tMake abortion something that is covered by both Private and Public Health plans, if in that particular country medicine is socialized, then make it just as free as would an essential operation. In the process you make it available to those, whose families would simply not be able to pay for it, and be forced to have the child.

What is your take on this subject?
I saw the same episode. I'm hoping to watch Thirteen with my mom, considering I am 13, and would love a better connection with my mom. I'm not into drugs, violence, or sex. Of course Im interested and curious, but I know better. I feel proud saying that. lol. but anyway, agreed most definately
post #32 of 55
Quote:
Originally posted by Cougar
Oh man, your dating your first cousin???
Not to be rude, but isn't that just wrong?
I disagree. Why do you think it is wrong? Whom is he hurting? In regards to the comment about genetic diversity, first cousins are actually far enough apart that it does not pose a significant risk to the unborn child. When people refer to inbreeding, they are generally referring to parents/children, or brother/sister -- and even then, defects are not nearly as common as people think.

Even if it did pose a risk to the baby, so does a mother's age. Did you know the risk can be as much as one in ten that a baby will have down's syndrome if a mother is over 40? This is much greater than any risk of first cousins. Is it unethical for a woman over 40 to have a baby?

One of my best friends in high school was from Pakistan, and his parents were first cousins -- they were very happily married and had 3 very good sons.

Just another aspect to think about.

Aqua
post #33 of 55
VICTOR: Take it from a very broad minded 45 year old, it takes a lot to offend me!
Although it is accepted to date a cousin here, it's not something i would do personally. But i know what it's like to have family turn against you.
I was married for 18 years when i had an affair and eventually left my husband, but my brother also disowned me for doing it, and that was nearly 6 years ago and i still have no contact with him. But at the end of the day i had to think of my happiness.

You only get one life Victor, and if your both happy then go for it!!

post #34 of 55
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by rosiemac
VICTOR: Take it from a very broad minded 45 year old, it takes a lot to offend me!
Although it is accepted to date a cousin here, it's not something i would do personally. But i know what it's like to have family turn against you.
I was married for 18 years when i had an affair and eventually left my husband, but my brother also disowned me for doing it, and that was nearly 6 years ago and i still have no contact with him. But at the end of the day i had to think of my happiness.

You only get one life Victor, and if your both happy then go for it!!

Thanks... I really don't know what to say. We are happy. We ain't rushing things. And we ain't caring much about the far future... so I guess we ought to do this: Let's enjoy life right now. Waiter, bring more wine!
post #35 of 55
Quote:
Originally posted by vinceneilsgirl
...one of my guy friends lost his virginity at the age of 12 to his 18 year old babysitter, and his best friend lost his at 14 to an almost 30 year old friend of their family.
Both of those cases qualify as child molestation, not "teen sex", and the babysitter and the "friend of the family" as sex offenders.
post #36 of 55
Originally posted by Aquarius
Quote:
Why do you think it is wrong? Whom is he hurting? In regards to the comment about genetic diversity, first cousins are actually far enough apart that it does not pose a significant risk to the unborn child.
Two separate times I have had the opportunity to see kids that were the result of marriages between first cousins. Both times these kids had serious genetic problems, and it's really sad to see something like this happen to an innocent child who never asked to be born. I might be wrong, but I think it's acceptable for second cousins to marry, and they are actually far enough apart genetically to have normal kids.
post #37 of 55
Well, My friend and his two brothers all turned out quite normally, all three with above average intelligence. Studies actually show only about 4% of first cousin offspring have birth defects, so the chances of you knowing two seperate cousin couples with children with birth defects is about 1 in 1000.

Here is an excerpt from an interesting article entitled "The Facts About Cousin Marriages"


Some people are fixated on the fallacy that cousin couples pose an intolerable risk to their offspring. However it is likely that we are all descendants of cousin marriages. Before civil laws banning cousin marriages, it was preferable to marry a cousin in some communities as it is to this day in many countries. The notion “why marry a stranger" is just as prevalent in many countries as the cousin marriage taboo in America today.
There is a wide range of opinions on the subject of cousin marriages. This is fuelled by erroneous information, bigotry, and presumptions. Further we have civil laws and religious creeds based on obsolete information.

The facts about cousin marriages are much clearer.

There are no contemporary studies that indicate cousins have children with significantly higher than normal birth defects. Fears of cousins who marry having children with birth defects are indeed exaggerated. Simply marrying within your own race increases the odds of birth defects. Marrying within your own town further increases your chances. Cousin couples have only a slightly higher incidence of birth defects than non-related couples.

Fact: 26 states allow first cousin marriages; Most people can marry their cousin in the US.

Fact: No European country prohibits marriage between first cousins. It is also legal throughout Canada and Mexico to marry your cousin. The USA is the only western country with cousin marriage restrictions.

Fact: Children of non-related couples have a 2-3% risk of birth defects, as opposed to first cousins having a 4-6% risk. Genetic counseling is available for those couples that may be at a special risk for birth defects (e.g. You have a defect that runs in your family) In plain terms first cousins have at a 94 percent + chance of having healthy children. Check the links section for more information on genetic counselors. The National Society of Genetic Counselors estimated the increased risk for first cousins is between 1.7 to 2.8 percent, or about the same a any woman over 40 years of age.

Fact: The frequency of cousin marriages in the USA is about 1 in 1,000

Fact: The frequency of cousin marriages in Japan is about 4 in 1,000

Fact: It is estimated that 20 percent of all couples worldwide are first cousins. It is also estimated that 80 percent of all marriages historically have been between first cousins!

Fact: In some cultures, the term cousin and mate are synonymous.

Fact: Albert Einstein married his first cousin. And so did Charles Darwin, who had exceptional children.

Fact: Franklin D. Roosevelt, the longest serving US president in history married his cousin (not a first cousin, however they shared the same last name).

Fact: The first Prime Minister of Canada, Sir John A. MacDonald married his first cousin.

Fact: Current studies indicate that cousin couples have a lower ratio of miscarriages -- perhaps because body chemistry of cousins is more similar. The verdict is still out.



Just food for thought.

Aqua
post #38 of 55
Thread Starter 
The only nation of the western world that bans cousin marriages is the United States of America (And they say the USA is at the vanguard of progress).

I've got a lot of info on cousin marriage on the US stored in my hard drive.

I shall list the states of the US and overseas territorries that allow cousin marriages:

AK, AL, CA, CO, CT, FL, GA, HI, MD, MA, NJ, NM, NY, NC, RI, SC, TN, TX, VT, VA, District of Columbia.

In the state of Maine it is allowed but they have to take somekind of genetic counseling before the marriage. (Seems to me the Maine state legislators are not the smartest around)

the states that first cousins may not marry but Half cousins (cousins whose uncles are half brothers like Vicky and I) can:

(absolute) NE, NV, (Apparently, depending on how you interpret their law) AZ, KS, MT, OK

The rest of states don't have it allowed, but the ones where you can evade their state law by marrying in another state are:

IN, KS, LA, NE, OK, WA, WV, WY, MI (Interpretation of law unclear), AR (Not legal but Ethridge v. Shaddock may have set precedent to overturn it.), Puerto Rico (I read the PR laws on Marriage myself from head to toe and for once they've got a loophole).

The states that won't recognize a cousin marriage even if it has God's signature on it are mostly Great Plains states and some southern. But in all of those states there are groups of lobbyists who are changing that trend quickly.

The states that do not allow first cousin marriage but do not describe such as incest are ID, LA, MN, MO, MT, OR, PA, WA, WV, WY, AZ (Only if over 18), SD, (only if under 18). All other states except WI describe it as incest.

As a note of thought: Due to the fact that seeing cousin relationship as incest is something that depends a lot on ones religious beliefs, it would not be too far fetched to consider the constitutionality of its banning in some places (Heck, we are using the same argument with gay marriages why could not be done here?).
post #39 of 55
Dear Yoviher,

Sex just isn't a physical act. There is powerful emotional package that comes along with it. At you age it is diffucult enough to handle the growth of emotions. Be careful, it becomes so much more difficult it you have to deal with an STD or and unplanned pregnacy. Why complicate an already difficult situation of growning up?

Abstinence works, only if you are really weird like me.

Just today a man asked me out for a magirreta. He gave me his phone number. I told him I had some very old fashion values. He said he didn't understand. I told him I didn't believe in sex before marriage. He said he wanted the whole package without a piece of paper. I said no. He decided not to take me out for a drink. Which is just as well. I don't have to the time. I have 29 cats to take care of.

Goblin
post #40 of 55
Im glad to see that Utah is not on that list.
The US ins't at the vanguard of progress?? I hardly see cousins getting married as "progress." Oh and in my opinion, being super-liberal is anything but progress.
I guess is depends on who you ask
Oh and by the way, Im 18.

Peace,
Brandon
post #41 of 55
I don't know if sex is involved in this little relationship, and frankly, at 15, I don't want to know. Cousin or no cousin, you have stated from the get-go that your girlfriend is a secret from your parents. Posts here are telling you 'go for it' and 'you only live once'. When you are making decisions that you feel you must hide from your parents, I don't think a 'go for it' attitude reflects that you have made the best decision. You may be well-read and mature for your age, but the adults in the picture are adults for a reason. You may not see it, but they are generally wiser than teenagers. Inside, you know that, or you wouldn't be keeping this a secret and blackmailing others over it.
post #42 of 55
I agree with Deb.
post #43 of 55
Personally, after reading this thread from front to back I am not surprised to read that you are only 15 Victor. I do not mean to offend anyone (and maybe thats the problems we are all to busy 'trying not to offend anyone'). 15 is a great age as is 45 but get there when you get there and not before.
All in all I agree with Debs sentiments on this 'go for it' attitude that is prevalent all over the world by the looks of it. Fortunately t is an attitude that often becomes more gracious with age and is tempered by recognising others share this space with you and are affected by the decisions you make.
Be careful Victor.
post #44 of 55
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by Deb25
I don't know if sex is involved in this little relationship,
No, it isn't. And I would really be offended if you were supposing that. We are not stupid. I don't know about you, but Jenni discouraged the two of us from it.

Look, I have sometimes grown to wonder what are really... sometimes boyfriend does not match... but close friends neither does. I guess we are the kind that has not yet kept a single secret from each other.

I've grown to feel almost convinced that within ten years or so we may be living in different countries and when we meet we sit down with some wine making jokes "And you remember when we blackmailed Nicolás?, Boy I still remember how pale his face got" and such things and thinking "Those childhood foolishness" while laughing.

So folks, I understand why you worry so much, and even feel pity for your worrying, but I think we here are on the safe side.
post #45 of 55
Pity? The biggest pity is that you feel you have to keep a friendship secret from your parents. Where one secret is born, others follow.
post #46 of 55
Thread Starter 
What are you implying? What are you insinuating?
post #47 of 55
What I am implying is that you are a child. As much as you read and try to show others that you are adult, you aren't. You claim an innocence in this relationship, and that may well be the truth, but for some reason that escapes me, you feel a need to keep the closeness of this relationship a secret from your parents. In my mind, to be close to a cousin would be a 'natural' thing, and not one to hide. And, true to form, that secret has already spawned another deed: the blackmailing of another to hide whatever it is that you are hiding. Once we begin being deceitful, it becomes easier and easier to do so on other matters. Believe it or not, as a teen, your parents are your greatest ally. I wouldn't be so quick to start second guessing their wisdom and shutting them out of events that occur in this difficult time of your life.
post #48 of 55
Thread Starter 
Deb, do you mind if I say "thanks"?

Everyone who is not blind knows we are best friends. We've grown to be called "Duo Dinamico" (Dynamic Duo) by our friends and everyone in the family. And as a symptom we spend three and four hours on the phone (thanks god local calls are free) What is secret is the romantic side of it. What happened with Nicolás was something like in movies. He caught us in mid kiss. The words we told him were "Que aquel que esté libre de pecado tire la primera piedra" (Let he who is free of sin cast the first stone) and he understood them immediately.

I have many times considered (read: agonized over) telling my parents about it. I have had the experience already of telling them something which I expect they will kill me and get the exact opposite. I've wondered even if they have already guessed it and simply are not talking about it.

Not second guessing their wisdom... I really do not know how to thank you Deb. You've just put me to think. I think I may let it slip to them. Perhaps letting it be known piece by piece, slowly. I know how to put coded stuff. That is, if they have not figured out already.

Bye.
post #49 of 55
And Victor, given your ages, being in the midst of the teenage hormonal rollercoaster, it is only natural to be attracted to a person with whom you are already very close and comfortable. I do not believe that, in the long run, it helps to make the relationship 'illicit'. You have all the time in the world to decide if a romantic relationship with this girl is what is right for both of you. In the meantime, feel fortunate that you have someone who is truly your best friend in a time when so few can make such a claim.
post #50 of 55
This thread gets more and more disturbing as time goes on...
Mabye Nicolas already told them, but made an agreement so that they would not let you know that they knew, and now they're just studying your behavior and judging your character. <--- I know thats what I'd do

Enjoy,

Peace,
Brandon
post #51 of 55
Quote:
Originally posted by jcat
Both of those cases qualify as child molestation, not "teen sex", and the babysitter and the "friend of the family" as sex offenders.
While I agree, it was consentual and the parents of both of these friends knew about it and didn't care. In fact, the dad of the friend who lost his when he was 12 was like; "It has to happen to every boy sometime", and the mom of the friend who lost his when he was 14 told him it was ok because; "women can't be sex offenders".
post #52 of 55
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by Deb25
And Victor, given your ages, being in the midst of the teenage hormonal rollercoaster, it is only natural to be attracted to a person with whom you are already very close and comfortable. I do not believe that, in the long run, it helps to make the relationship 'illicit'. You have all the time in the world to decide if a romantic relationship with this girl is what is right for both of you. In the meantime, feel fortunate that you have someone who is truly your best friend in a time when so few can make such a claim.
Thanks.... I really don't know what to say. Thanks, I will heed that advice. Here was I starting to think this was some kind of VÃ:censor:ctor bashing contest and that I may even have to leave the forum and you folks were just worried about me... well sorry for having had such thoughts about some of you. Deb, what is it with you that lately everything you say has some kind of wisdom? As you can all see, I myself have got my weak points and stuff... I am human after all.

Brandon, I doubt Nicolás has done that, but I would not be surprised if somebody has it figured out. I have learned by experience that my parents seem to have the ability to read minds.

I must admit that when this joke started I opened a can of worms by saying this on the forum, and it wasn't a pleasant can of worms. And if there is anyone at guilt is me and my big mouth . Regardless, I think I am walking out of this wiser than when it started. Anyway, I think my love life has gotten enough of a discussion, if you understand what I mean. So, I hope you don't mind if I ask politely to let this subject drop a bit for the moment?

Thanks anyway, I know I've got a good bunch of friends here.
post #53 of 55
Quote:
Originally posted by yoviher
Deb, what is it with you that lately everything you say has some kind of wisdom?
Why Victor, everything I say has some kind of wisdom.
post #54 of 55
LOL! Ain't that the truth!
post #55 of 55
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by Deb25
Why Victor, everything I say has some kind of wisdom.
True!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: IMO: In My Opinion
TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › IMO: In My Opinion › Teenage sex, what's your take?