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Gettin' Old Ain't for Sissies

post #1 of 286
Thread Starter 

OK...in deference to my current bout of arthritis, I started this thread for us older folks to have a place to gripe and moan and exchange tech tips and funny stuff ("You know you're getting old when...) about the process of aging.  

 

I'll start us off with a funny thing, 'cause I don't wanna think about my hip right now!

 

 

 

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied. "Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?"


Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."


The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs. 


I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.


I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape , so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.


An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. "Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?" "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week "


My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.


Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.


It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.     (BOY IS THIS ONE TRUE!)


These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."

 

Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing.

 

--- THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

post #2 of 286
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mamanyt1953 View Post
 

OK...in deference to my current bout of arthritis, I started this thread for us older folks to have a place to gripe and moan and exchange tech tips and funny stuff ("You know you're getting old when...) about the process of aging.  

 

I'll start us off with a funny thing, 'cause I don't wanna think about my hip right now!

 

The good thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs. 


 

This a nice thread for us old farts. My biggest problem is arthritis. I'm going to have to break down and have my knees replaced soon. It scares me to death.

 

I like the jokes about the driver license and the Easter eggs. No matter how many times I watch reruns on TV they are all new to me.

post #3 of 286
Hair growing out of places they shouldn't be lol
post #4 of 286

and some things hanging so low....gravity has really landed!!

post #5 of 286

And the best excuse for not remembering something is to blame it on CRS (Can't Remember Sh#t) 1bluewinky.gif

post #6 of 286

Somewhere along the line, my lungs turned into bagpipes.  I can lie in bed at night and listen to my own music.  bluelaugh.gif 

post #7 of 286

You know you are really old when you don't buy green bananas anymore!  ;)

post #8 of 286
Quote:
Originally Posted by Margd View Post
 

Somewhere along the line, my lungs turned into bagpipes.  I can lie in bed at night and listen to my own music.  bluelaugh.gif 


me too, but it keeps me awake... 

 

When you get up from a sitting position and it takes several minutes for you not to have a huge limp...gotta get the 'kinks' out!! 

post #9 of 286
Quote:
Originally Posted by Muffy View Post
 

This a nice thread for us old farts. My biggest problem is arthritis. I'm going to have to break down and have my knees replaced soon. It scares me to death.

 

I like the jokes about the driver license and the Easter eggs. No matter how many times I watch reruns on TV they are all new to me.

Same here.  

I've had 3 surgeries thus far for meniscus tears - 2 in the right knee.  That one is really bad now with arthritis.  I can walk, I have good range of movement but it kills me all the time. No medication has been able to touch it except for when I was on a steroid for another reason.  I had 2 full weeks of pain free living. It was bliss.  

 

The knee replacement has been tossed around by both my general practitioner and my surgeon.  I am so not ready for that, I can't imagine taking off from work for months.  I've tried losing weight but you know, at this age that's not so easy either.  I'd really like to hold out as long as possible but I have to admit in the end it probably would make my life much easier.  It's become very difficult for me to stand or walk for long periods of time.  Really puts a damper on life in general.

post #10 of 286
Quote:
Originally Posted by Margd View Post
 

Somewhere along the line, my lungs turned into bagpipes.  I can lie in bed at night and listen to my own music.  bluelaugh.gif 

LOL!

FYI, maybe it's allergies? I was having a problem with wheezing and snoring. Got allergy tested and lo and behold, allergic to like everything including the cats.  My allergist, being a cat owner, knew not to suggest rehoming them and she said I should look into an air purifier for the bedroom, minimum. 

 

I bought an extremely good one and since we've been using it, neither me or my fiance have been snoring!  And my wheezing stopped at night!  Who knew?  I'm also on a new medication and a nasal spray but honestly it's the purifier that did the trick. I'm going to buy one for downstairs soon too!

post #11 of 286
My friend always says to me "I don't know if I have told you this already ".
I always reply"if you have, I don't remember".
We both strongly suspect we are having the same conversation every day.
post #12 of 286
Thread Starter 

Waking up in the morning and feeling like a box of Rice Krispies.  EVERYTHING goes "Snap, crackle, pop!"

 

I actually called the non-emergency 911 dispatcher number and alerted them that I might call at any time, just stuck in the bathtub.  When the arthritis in the hip kicks in, sometimes getting out is a real issue.  I'm going to talk with my landlady and my doctor about a 504 variance for a handheld showerhead and a tub chair.  Don't need them really often, but when I do, I need them desperately!

post #13 of 286

The first thing I do when I get out of bed in the morning is stand up. And then I stand there and try to figure out if anything is hurting. Feet? Check. Ankles? Check. Knees? Check. And so on. 

post #14 of 286
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by marrin713 View Post

Hair growing out of places they shouldn't be lol

It actually migrates.  In women, it moves from our legs to our upper lips, in men, from the head to the ears.  In either case, it moves through the brain, leaving tiny holes like baby swiss cheese, which explains so much.  Or at least, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Artiemom View Post
 

and some things hanging so low....gravity has really landed!!

OH GOD YES!  The bits of me that used to proudly look out at the world head-on now tend to watch my toes.  I am given to understand that men have the same issue, only with different bits.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sivyaleah View Post
 

Same here.  

I've had 3 surgeries thus far for meniscus tears - 2 in the right knee.  That one is really bad now with arthritis.  I can walk, I have good range of movement but it kills me all the time. No medication has been able to touch it except for when I was on a steroid for another reason.  I had 2 full weeks of pain free living. It was bliss.  

 

The knee replacement has been tossed around by both my general practitioner and my surgeon.  I am so not ready for that, I can't imagine taking off from work for months.  I've tried losing weight but you know, at this age that's not so easy either.  I'd really like to hold out as long as possible but I have to admit in the end it probably would make my life much easier.  It's become very difficult for me to stand or walk for long periods of time.  Really puts a damper on life in general.

I have, so far, avoided surgery for meniscus tears, by as little as .5 cm, on one occasion.  I healed with rest, but that came at a cost.  I spent so much time not using my right leg that I have now compromised the left one!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Winchester View Post
 

The first thing I do when I get out of bed in the morning is stand up. And then I stand there and try to figure out if anything is hurting. Feet? Check. Ankles? Check. Knees? Check. And so on. 

LOL...my dad used to sit at the side of the bed for 5 minutes or so.  When Mom asked  him why, he said, "I'm taking inventory...it feels like things might have gone missing in the night!"  I understand that now!

post #15 of 286
Touch wood, at age 66 I seem to be in very good health. My mother died of cancer at age 44 and I totally think I am blessed to be healthy. So many folks where I live are missing limbs due to diabetes. frown.gif
post #16 of 286
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mamanyt1953 View Post
 

It actually migrates.  In women, it moves from our legs to our upper lips, in men, from the head to the ears.  In either case, it moves through the brain, leaving tiny holes like baby swiss cheese, which explains so much.  Or at least, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it!

OH GOD YES!  The bits of me that used to proudly look out at the world head-on now tend to watch my toes.  I am given to understand that men have the same issue, only with different bits.

I have, so far, avoided surgery for meniscus tears, by as little as .5 cm, on one occasion.  I healed with rest, but that came at a cost.  I spent so much time not using my right leg that I have now compromised the left one!

 

This is so familiar.  I wound up with a Taylor's Bunionette - which is on the side of my right pinkie toe. Much smaller than a typical bunion but as painful (I assume).  This due to me walking poorly and putting too much weight on the side of my foot because of the knee pain.  It was excruciating. I've had to have 2 cortisone shots in it but luckily, the last one seems to have had a lasting effect as it's been well over a year now.  That and switching to sneakers all the time.  Thankfully my job doesn't have a dress code other than "look presentable" :lol3:  If it acts up again, I may have to think about surgery. 

post #17 of 286
Quote:
Originally Posted by Di and Bob View Post
 

You know you are really old when you don't buy green bananas anymore!  ;)


Oh, I still buy my bananas green.  I eat my bananas green!  That way I don't have to take as many diabetes meds to handle the carbs in them.  (No, not a joke.  Simple fact.)

 

Margret

post #18 of 286
Quote:
Originally Posted by Verna davies View Post

My friend always says to me "I don't know if I have told you this already ".
I always reply"if you have, I don't remember".
We both strongly suspect we are having the same conversation every day.


The thing that gets me is that, for me at least, it's not because of age.  I was like this at 18!  (Not that I want it to be age -- I have a horror of Alzheimer's.  I think most of us do.)

 

For me, it's not so much remembering whether I've told the story before, but to whom I've told it.  I sometimes feel like I need to put some kind of database manager on my phone -- list of people down the left, list of reminiscences and stories across the top, boxes to check when I've told this one.  It wouldn't work, of course, but I can always dream.

 

Margret

post #19 of 286
Quote:
Originally Posted by Winchester View Post
 

The first thing I do when I get out of bed in the morning is stand up. And then I stand there and try to figure out if anything is hurting. Feet? Check. Ankles? Check. Knees? Check. And so on. 

 

Before I get out of bed, I massage the soles of my feet with the base knuckle of the big toe of the other foot.  I hear little popping sounds when I do, but then my feet feel okay when I get out of bed.  I discovered this one when I was still in my 20s or 30s I think, so it's not specifically an age thing.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Primula View Post

Touch wood, at age 66 I seem to be in very good health. My mother died of cancer at age 44 and I totally think I am blessed to be healthy. So many folks where I live are missing limbs due to diabetes. frown.gif

 

My father died of liver cancer at the age of 74.  My mother died almost a year ago of old age -- she was less than two months short of her 98th birthday.  My maternal grandparents both died prematurely -- he had an accident, and she had ovarian cancer.  And both of my paternal grandparents were in their 90s when they died.  Basically, I have good genes.  If I can keep the diabetes under control and either avoid cancer or catch it early I'm pretty certain that I have another 30 or 40 years left.  Oh, yes.  And avoid suicide after my husband dies.  His heart is bad.

 

And that's the worst part about growing old, all of the loved ones you lose.


Regarding knee surgery.  While I don't recommend any surgery as something fun you can do for yourself, knee surgery really does help when that's what you need.

 

And regarding just about any joint pain -- wrist, elbow, knee, or ankle, but not hips, fingers, or toes unless you know something I don't -- the proper bandage/brace can do a great deal to help support the joint.  I have an ACE elbow brace that stays in the kitchen.  I only wear it when I'm trying to deal with heavy dishes on upper shelves, where the elbow has to do all the work.  The elbow still does all the work, but the support of the brace keeps me from doing it in such a way that I hurt myself.

 

Margret

post #20 of 286
Thread Starter 

Huh..wonder who started this thread?

 

 

 

 

 

'nuff said.

post #21 of 286

The hem came out of a pant leg of a pair of work pants and I just finished re-hemming the leg. Thinking of this thread the entire time. It took me three tries to thread a needle. Black thread on charcoal grey pants....I had a devil of a time trying to stitch along the hem without taking the needle through the material because I didn't want the stitches to show on outer side. That was an exercise!

post #22 of 286

I've got severe spinal problems, so I'm in so much pain when I wake up in the morning that I can hardly walk. The cats jump all over me, excited that they're getting breakfast, but sometimes I have to sit down for a few minutes twice on the way to the kitchen. I'm going to have surgery for this in March, and I hope it relieves the pain. I've dealt with it off and on for over 20 years.

 

The nice thing about senility is you can read the same book again, and it's all new the second time.

post #23 of 286

I  am not old yet but I do notice pains that I don't remember having..one of them is foot/knee pain in the morning-some mornings it hurts to put weight on my rt foot then it tingles like crazy. I try to drink a full glass of water before I get out of bed to help wake me up...and yes I watch movies I watched 20 years ago and don't remember anything..but how is it I can remember lyrics to hundreds of songs?!

 

I am not looking forward to getting older...it definitely is not for sissies.

 

All you guys have my utmost respect with how far you have come and how much pain you have lived with for so long. As someone who did have surgery to fix pain issues...I remember feeling strange to not have pain..it definitely took time to get used to..like you always remember feeling like .... and then the surgery and recovery was challenging but once things healed up it's amazing how much we lived with pain just because we either didn't get doctors who paid attention or family members would harass us and not understand some of us struggle with invisible injuries/illness. I hope the surgery helps you ladies,. one I  had I waited 20 years to have.. I couldn't believe how different life was after that...stay strong and don't be afraid to ask for help from people...most people don't want to make you feel useless and want to help but are afraid to ask because they don't want to offend you.

post #24 of 286

Thanks for the inspiration, @foxxycat . Once in a great while I take an opioid medicine I have, and it's just like you say - I am amazed to be able to move without any pain. Every step I make, every breath I take, there's pain. And you are right on the money about doctors who don't pay attention. I couldn't get my primary care physician to listen to me. For years and years.

 

My grown sons don't really understand, but the truth is that if this is all I have to look forward to, I don't want to go on. There's no future. This surgery is a last chance.

post #25 of 286
Thread Starter 

:vibes::vibes:Prayers to you, @DreamerRose.  So many of us are dealing with chronic pain.  I am blessed in my own doctor, and I know it.  He is very responsive to what I tell him, and treats me like a partner.  And his nurse is a doll, as well.  

 

OK...words of wisdom:

 

No matter how tired and despe'rate you are, no matter how badly stopped up you may be, NEVER EVER under ANY circumstance should you take a sleeping pill and a laxative at the same time.  Jes' sayin'.

post #26 of 286
Thread Starter 

OH  I forgot...I wanna be Maxine when I grow up!

 

post #27 of 286
Quote:
Originally Posted by DreamerRose View Post
 

Thanks for the inspiration, @foxxycat . Once in a great while I take an opioid medicine I have, and it's just like you say - I am amazed to be able to move without any pain. Every step I make, every breath I take, there's pain. And you are right on the money about doctors who don't pay attention. I couldn't get my primary care physician to listen to me. For years and years.

 

My grown sons don't really understand, but the truth is that if this is all I have to look forward to, I don't want to go on. There's no future. This surgery is a last chance.

Send more :vibes:your way. I too, am living with daily chronic pain. Not quite ready for the complete fix so I deal with it.  No medication has been useful.  It's a miserable way to go through life. I hope the surgery gives you lasting relief.

post #28 of 286
Quote:
Originally Posted by Winchester View Post
 

The hem came out of a pant leg of a pair of work pants and I just finished re-hemming the leg. Thinking of this thread the entire time. It took me three tries to thread a needle. Black thread on charcoal grey pants....I had a devil of a time trying to stitch along the hem without taking the needle through the material because I didn't want the stitches to show on outer side. That was an exercise!

I know how to thread needles without actually squinting, learned the secret decades ago.  You make sure the end of your thread isn't all fuzzy, then you hold the end of the thread between your thumb and forefinger, and I do mean the very tip of it, so that you can't see it at all.  Then you hold the needle with the other hand and put the eye between that thumb and forefinger and push it over the end of the thread.  I.e., you needle the thread, you don't thread the needle.  Works surprisingly well.

 

That said, every once in a while I'll visit a fabric store and buy a new needle threader.  It just isn't worth the hassle.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by DreamerRose View Post
 

I've got severe spinal problems, so I'm in so much pain when I wake up in the morning that I can hardly walk. The cats jump all over me, excited that they're getting breakfast, but sometimes I have to sit down for a few minutes twice on the way to the kitchen. I'm going to have surgery for this in March, and I hope it relieves the pain. I've dealt with it off and on for over 20 years.

 

The nice thing about senility is you can read the same book again, and it's all new the second time.

:vibes::vibes::vibes:Ask for a consultation with a physical therapist before surgery, so that you can get instructions and have a good idea how to be careful with yourself.  After surgery, go to all your appointments with the therapist, and do everything he or she tells you to.  Those are the best tips I know of to make back surgery successful.

 

Margret

post #29 of 286
Quote:
Originally Posted by DreamerRose View Post
 

I've got severe spinal problems, so I'm in so much pain when I wake up in the morning that I can hardly walk. The cats jump all over me, excited that they're getting breakfast, but sometimes I have to sit down for a few minutes twice on the way to the kitchen. I'm going to have surgery for this in March, and I hope it relieves the pain. I've dealt with it off and on for over 20 years.

 

The nice thing about senility is you can read the same book again, and it's all new the second time.

 

How awful.  As someone who suffered from chronic pain for years, I can sympathize.  I really hope the surgery works.  I've had back surgery myself and it worked out well so I wish the same for you.  When it works, it makes all of the difference in the world.  Living in pain 24/7 is a nightmare.   hugs.gif  :vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes: 

post #30 of 286

I feel sorry for all of you in pain.  I went through 3 months of pain with no real relief and due to misdiagnosis they were telling me it would be a lifetime thing.  (Sure wish someone had told me steroids don't work on pain but anti-seizure drugs do so I would have known to say no when they would start yet another round of steroids and muscle relaxants.)

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