Cat Colony is gone... I am super stressed

cspressler

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Hi all.

So I had to disband my feral cat colony of 10 after a jerk trapped and removed three of them. I only had them 4 months, but I got super attached to them. All of the events of the past 4 days have left me stressed out, no appetite, and trouble sleeping.

Here's the status of the cats:

- I took 4 of the friendly cats to a cat "sanctuary". I felt sorry for them though because its a very small building with 40 other cats inside. I think eventually they will be let outside in the afternoons, but this situation is depressing to me.

-We moved the shelter to a different park and took 2 of the more feral cats there. This happened yesterday. One of the cats ran into the shelter when we released her, but the other ran off into the woods. I'll find out more today if they stayed. 

-I took a sweet young cat home for a few days. Having her here with my 13 year old was super stressful. I made the decision to take her to the animal shelter. When I got there, she tested FIV positive and they decided she should be euthanized. I left heart broken. Then I made the decision to find her a home somehow, but everything closed last night. So now I'm currently waiting for everything to open and pray she is still alive so I can get her back.

4 months ago, these cats were nothing to me. I wandered upon them in a park, they were half starved. We were able to get 7 adopted out of there. However, I just feel like I failed the others. 

Did I? Why is the stress tearing me up inside right now? I never wanted to long term take care of these cats, and part of me is looking forward to moving beyond all this. That makes me feel guilty.

Corey
 

shadowsrescue

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You did the absolute best you could for the cats.  

Most likely the cats that you moved will try to find their way back to their old territory.  Cats are very territorial and when moved will travel great distances to find their old place.  When you move a cat to a new location it is best to keep them sequestered for 3-4 weeks until they are used to their new surroundings.  

So if the ones you moved to another location find their way back you will either need to allow them to stay there or find a better place where they can be kept from wandering for a few weeks.  Sometimes you can find farms that want or need barn cats. 

Thank you for caring for these kitties.  They do have a way of worming themselves into our hearts very quickly.

As for bringing one of the kitties into you home.  The way to make the events less stressful is to be sure the new kitty has a room of his/her own.  This would be home base and kitties home for a few weeks.  There is a very slow introduction process that is recommended that helps to reduce the stress on both the new cat and the current cat.  

If you decide to try and bring another one home, we would be glad to help guide you through the process.
 
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cspressler

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I was too late to get my sweet Spunky back from the animal shelter. They wasted no time in putting her down.

I feel so guilty. There is so much regret. I failed Spunky.

My heart is heavy
 

Shane Kent

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You didn't fail Spunky, society failed Spunky. If more people in society took the sort of responsibility you have taken on you wouldn't be overwhelmed right now. Someone, not you, has not spayed / neutered their cat. Someone else decided the cute little kitten turned into a cat they didn't want so they dumped it. Another person decided they didn't want to pay the vet bills for a sick kitty so they dumped it. And the list goes on.

You have not failed at all, just caring what happens to the cats is a testament to that.  What you have done in 4 months is more than most people would do in a life time. You are fighting a battle and it is not your fault if you don't always win. So long as you put up some sort of fight on behalf of those cats you are far from a failure. A true failure would have been you walking through that park right past those starving kitties.

Never, ever change Corey. You are a great person.
 

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I am at a loss for words. I am so very sorry about the way things turned out for you and the poor kitties. It is NOT your fault, though. You did everything you could to help those cats. You are a good person. Don't ever think of yourself as a failure. You are hurting for those kitties because you care so much. You have a big heart and that is something to be proud of!
 

ginny

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Gosh I'm so sorry! I can relate in a way. I fed a colony on my back porch that the neighbors beside me started feeding. Then they left the feedings all up to me for several months and began criticizing me once I began trapping them for spay/neuter for not trapping them fast enough. I only had one trap and every other Wednesday off, to trap and send to the closest low cost spay/neuter program in Asheville several counties away.  Wednesday was the only day they took feral cats at that point. (They were transferred by my county's now defunct Humane Alliance on Wednesdays only.) These neighbors wouldn't lift one finger to help, not even help buy another trap, only criticism.  Then they called AC behind my back. My sister found out about AC somehow and would not tell me about it because it might upset me. Ya think?  Yeah it upset me. I could have intervened and saved some IF i had known. I understand how it feels. Three were trapped and killed, I found out several weeks later.  I took the rest in my house and still have them. You've done the best you could. You're only one person and there's only so much you can do. 

Just a necessary reminder though that needs to be said. Feeding feral cats means taking responsibility for them. If you don't want to take care of them long term, then let someone else feed them. Better to not start feeding them, than to stop part way through. I knew when I started that it was going to be long-term. Cats like to eat several times a day. Once they become dependent on you it's kind of cruel to just stop.
 

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You are a good hearted person who tried to make some cats feel a little more loved and taken care of. You tried, and due to events that were beyond your control it did not work out for the best. But remember, you saved 7, and several more are most likely better off then they were. so please don't feel you failed, Most of us have had our disappointments when trying to help these sweet creatures. I have had so many die on my road out front I truly don't like to think of how many. I tried feeding across that road making two trips a day for two years and it didn't help at all. As long as people keep dumping them and letting them breed  uncontrolled there will always be these heartaches. My stomach hurts for days every time I see one laying on the road. Knowing all they wanted was to fill their bellies makes it almost unbearable.the tears have flowed so many times. But they want more, they come for affection and acceptance too, and they will always find that here. When you truly care, there will always be heartache. Try not to dwell on your losses but on the little lives you saved. They still trap and poison them in my town, there is outrage but not enough to change the laws.

Sweet Spunky is at peace now, she is saved from a future of pain and agony from a diagnosis that would only bring pain.  My heart goes out to you, I cry with you for your losses, it's not fair and not right. Keep your chin up, saving one little soul is worthwhile, thank you for what you did and what you will do in the future. We are here for you. 
 
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cspressler

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If I could just go back in time 24 hours, I would have not taken her to the shelter. Here is my letter to Spunky:




Spunky,

My dearest sweet girl. I am so sorry that you are no longer here with me. Last night, I made a terrible mistake and when I realized what I had done, it was too late to help you. Please forgive me.

You had such a big heart and amazing determination. You had spunk! Despite all the odds life had thrown at you, you never gave up.

When I found you back in September, you were very sick. Now we know that it was the FIV which was causing all the issues. It’s why you would get sick again and again.

I hope that I was able to give you a good life, even if it was short. I smile when I think of you running across the park to greet me. I remember when you used to chase and play with the other cats and climb up trees.

You had the most beautiful coloration and markings of any cat I had ever seen. Your back was a beautiful tortoiseshell but your legs had the dark and gray markings of a tabby. You were so small and petite. You had a very beautiful face. I often thought you were smiling at me.

I know you were not in my home for more than a few days, but I hope it was comfortable. I am so sorry for what I did. I hope you can please forgive me.

You are in a better place where you are free from sickness and you are safe and happy. I hope that one day I can see you again, when I leave this world. Will you please wait for me?

I will always love you and never forget you, Spunky.

Corey
 
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cspressler

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One quick update:

When I went to the new park today during my lunch break, both ferals were still there! They were scared and jumpy, but they ate the food I brought them. I'm so glad the one who ran off yesterday came back. I think if they can stay the next few days, my chances are good they will remain there. Eventually, responsibility will transfer from me to the park staff, who are super cat friendly and already feed a few ferals there.




What an experience this has all been. I feel chewed up and spit out. Thanks for all the support and kind words.
 

surya

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Corey,

I'm sorry for the loss of the kitty with fiv and the trouble you have had with your colony. Don't let it stop you. Think about the one's you fed today. I find it so satisfying to feed them. It feels like a calling, doing what we can to make their lives better. You did all you could.
 
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cspressler

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Jail break!

Guys, the park is letting me bring the other 4 cats to join the colony. Tomorrow we plan to break them out of the cat prison and take them to the park. Still some work ahead and getting them adjusted to a new location, but I feel confident it will work.

Today the other two cats were still at the new shelter. Some signs they've been bedding down inside, but still scared of their new location.

I need this win!
 
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cspressler

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Let me get people's opinion on if I should break the cats out of prison:

So, the cat sanctuary is a small building. Maybe its 20 x 30 feet. Not sure exactly. It's brand new. It has 6 windows. It has a back screened in patio where the cats can go outside, only the cat flap seems to mess them up and they don't unless the caretaker opens it while she is there. There are about 40 cats inside. The smell isn't too bad considering. She does let some of them outside in the afternoon to roam but calls them back for dinner. Not sure how much freedom there is. May main concerns are that the 4 cats I took there won't get much freedom and I don't know if the caretaker can limit the cats. She has a limit, but broke that to take our 4 in. 

Otherwise, we can take them to the new park where we relocated their old shelter. Their two old colony mates are already there. They will probably be scared and unsure of the new location. It's right next to the main office for the county park, but its all woods around it. There they can be free. They most likely won't live as long, but they will be outside. They will see me for several weeks until I ultimately pass off responsibility to the park. The park will feed them, but not give them the attention I did. I don't know how much the park will maintain the shelter either. 

Any advice? 
 

surya

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Some things to consider, they say it is really hard to relocate cats. They may leave and try and find their way home. Cats in the wilderness often become food for coyotes or wolfs. So you may want to consider the predators. Your turning the care over to someone else, who might not care that much. I know they agreed to do it, but you don't really know if they will do a good job. I think I would feel better leaving them with then Sanctuary, because I'm sure that person must really love cats. There's no guarantees on the quality of the cats life either way. But you know more about the situation than us, so listen to your gut instinct after considering the facts.
 
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cspressler

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When I went out today to check on the two feral cats at the new shelter location, only one was there. One of the shelters had been knocked over like there was a scuffle. I hope she comes back.

So I am questioning bringing the 4 tabbies out there now.



Sad when it just seems to have all fallen apart. Or has it?
 

Shane Kent

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"One of the shelters had been knocked over like there was a scuffle."

Maybe another animal, or animals?

I am not sure where you are in the world. Right now in Canada the raccoons aren't out much to cause problems. However, if you live in a warmer place and have the cats near a wooded area there is a good chance wild animals will make things extremely difficult for you. I have two feral cats living on the property where I work and raccoons were part of the reason I brought them into the building I work at.

I was putting food out for my two feral cats during the day at some steel beams. The cats hung around the beams during the day but towards the end of the day they didn't because they knew the raccoons were coming. The cats never went too far as they knew they had a steady source of food.

This is my cat Kitty eating at the beams. Taken with a time lapse camera.


I am not sure how feasible it is for you to get your hands on a cheap time lapse camera but it came in extremely handy for me to monitor the cats I was feeding outside. Especially at first because they would take off when I came. There were days I would not see the cats, I was at work so not like I was watching constantly, when I would see them on the time lapse it was a relief.
 
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