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Why doesn't my kitty doesn't show affection?

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 
My cat Molly is about 4 months old. I've had her about 2 or 3 months. She doesn't want me to hold her, and she tries to bite me and scratch me when i pet her. she doesn't act like she's mad more like she's playing. But i have 2 other siamese cats other than her and they are extremely affectionate, and always wanting to be held and petted. So i can't figure out why she doesn't. The only thing i've heard is that male cats are more affectionate than females, and the other 2 are male. Can you help? I really want her to be like the other 2.
post #2 of 10
Well, unfortunatly the first thing is that not all cats are the same. They all have a different personality just like people do. This is not to say that your cat will not become a real cuddler. You have to remember that this kitten is very young and is much to busy playing and exploring to be held in one place too long. Male or female really has no bearing on determining the personality. A lot of it has to do with the social interaction with humans at a young age and also the experiences of thier moms interacting with humans. Siamese cats usually are very social. I really wouldnt worry too much. I would just give her time to settle down. However, I am very shocked that especially a siamese cat would be taken away from mom that young. If you have had her for 2 to 3 months then she was taken from her mom at 1 or 2 months old. Siamese and Oriental cats usually are kept with thier mothers until 4 to 5 months.
post #3 of 10

Dear Sandie,

I've always wanted a Siamese. There is a older gentlemen that's my neighbor has been in a nursing home after his surgery for the better part of five months. Poor guy I've been taking care of his Siamese kitty. She never comes out of hiding and has been alone forever! I feel so sorry for her. Perhaps what you mentioned about the kitty being taken from the Mother so soon is why she won't come out of hiding! I had no idea that a Siamese required to be with their Mom for that long...I'm glad to have learned that!

I have other responsibilities and I can't spend all day over there waiting for her to become social. She has been by herself since I've known that this gentlemen has had her. This kitty has no one! So, if he doesn't come home, I suppose I will take her. My only fear is that she won't get along with any of my cats. I will probably have to put an ad in the paper this time for sure. I definitely need to start planning; as I don't know if this man will ever come home and if he does, I know that he won't be able to take care of her.

If I get any more kitty problems and I'm going to lose it

Just venting I guess...if you or anyone have any solutions as to how I could get her to come out of hiding, I'd sure appreciate it...

Love, Peace &
post #4 of 10
Thread Starter 
All 3 of my siamese cats were taken from thier mother at 4-6 weeks old. and Molly is the only one who doesn't want to be cuddled. So i really don't think that taking them from their mothers makes a difference. But my 1st cat Casper is a siamese and when i got him he hid in the couch cushons for a week. but he did come out and he is now the sweetest cat. He still hides if i take him anywhere. when we go to the vet he burries his head under my arm so he can't see anything that scares him. Your cat woll come around. he's just not used to your house.
post #5 of 10

Hi KittyLover3 :angel2:

I'm not so sure that I can agree with you on that, I've never taken a kitten unless it was six weeks or older for fear that it may not be ready to leave it's Mom. I wouldn't want to be driven off so soon by my Mom! :laughing2...but to be serious now, four weeks is generally extremely too early for any kitten.

You stated that Molly doesn't want to be cuddled and she bites and scratches...(which biting and scratching is the norm for any kitten, but most little kittens liked to be loved on).

You also mentioned that Casper would hide in the couch cushions for a week... (bummer) when he was a baby and he still hides his head so he can't see if you take him somewhere.

The information that you're providing leads me to believe that these are signs of being taken away from the Mom too early...but, I'm no expert so...whatever I'm saying here is in my own opinion...no disrespect intended.

The cat that I'm taking care of is not at my home. She exists (and I use this word "exists" literally) at the elderly man's that I spoke of earlier. It's a very sad situation. For him too

I'm sure your Molly will come around eventually, especially if you load her up with lots of TLC (and I'm sure you will) As for the kitty I'm taking care of...I'm just being as patient as I can, and I try to coax her in everyway that I can each passing day. Hopefully, she'll come out one day...it'll be one of the biggest thrills I've had all year when she does!

Love, Peace &

post #6 of 10
I adopted my cat from a Shelter as an adult. She is not a cuddler either. The two cats I had when I was a kid were total lap cats, and I assumed most cats were like this. My kitty hates to be held. I love her anyway.
post #7 of 10
Thanks Scout :angel2:

That's whatcha' call total unconditional love

Good Attitude!

Love, Peace &
post #8 of 10

I think I have to agree with Sandie. All cats have different personalities. My younger cat, Joey, is just the cutest little guy in the world, and all I want to do is cuddle him, but he hates to be held and rarely comes up on my lap. But he does love a thorough petting that is more like a massage given by Helga, the masseuse. He just closes his eyes and smiles. I guess you just have to love each one on his own terms.
post #9 of 10

my Melisse has always hated to be petted... Doesn't support to be in our arms, makes a face like she was disgusted and starts crying... That's so funny...

But... she will go on my lap, only if she wants and only during breakfast and there she will tolerate to be petted because... I give her a little piece of butter when I am finished... ;-)))

My 2 other cats however are very affectionate... Fortunately for us, each cat has its own personality. It would be horribly boring if they were all the same!

post #10 of 10
Hey. I have a kitty that does the same. Except when she wants love she comes to us (my BF and I). And "Max" is VERY demanding for it when she wants it. Is your baby like ours?
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