Need support and guidance please

stacey sperling

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Hello nice people,

6 weeks ago my family adopted two sisters who are about 6.5 months old now. We adopted them from a great organization who took care of all their medical issues and shots. The kitties were born and stayed outside with their mama for 2 months, and were then fostered by a lovely couple for 2 months, where they came a long way from their feral ways but were still understandably scared of people when we adopted them.

We have followed the advice of the organization to acclimate them - they had their own space for about a month, with everything they needed. Now they have the run of the 2 story apartment. We pet them when we feed them and gice them treats, and they have come a long way since moving in. They come on our bed - my husband and I - and occasionally on the bed of our 10-year-old son. They play a lot and seem happy and healthy, though still very skittish to sounds and they don't readily come to us for petting, only really when we give them nightly treats and once in a while otherwise. 

While we see their progress, the challenge is with my 6-year-old daughter. It is way more painful than we thought it would be for her to live with these animals - she has been depserate for a cat/cats for about 3 years - and to not really be able to interact with them. She does occasionally with the bolder of the two, and she is pretty gentle, but it's so rare and most of the time the cats run from her. I'm being very honest when I say that while I love the cats and we are not considering giving them up, I htink we made  a mistake in getting formerly-feral cats, and I'm very upset with myself for not foreseeing that this would just be too difficult for a 6-year-old who already struggles with some emotional issues.

But here we are. I would be so grateful if you could refrain from scolding me for making the wrong decision and rather offer any advice you may have for how we can move forward in this situation, specifically more ideas and strategies for creating bonds between my daughter and the cats (at least the one cat who is a little less skittich and afraid). 

Thank you in advance,

Stacey
 

ondine

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No one here will scold you!  In fact, I will personally thank you for taking this on.

Although your daughter may not understand right now, neither of them may turn out to be lap cats.  Some cats are, some aren't.  It has less to do with their feral beginnings than it does with their basic personalities.

All of our seven cats are rescued - two were born feral, the others were abandoned by irresponsible people.  The former ferals are shy and hide whenever people come in.  The others hide, too, but will eventually come out.  None, including the two we raised from three weeks old, are lap cats.  At the most, they will sit next to me on the sofa.  One likes to sleep next to me.  But that's the extent of the kitty cuddles I get.

This situation might be a good way to explain to your daughter that everyone is different.  One way she  can interact with them is by playing with them with wand toys.  They can get exercise and she can learn more about their personalities.  Caution her that she needs to move slowly and not rush them at all.  This will scare them.  (Ask her to imagine a giant scooping her up.  It will help her understand things from their perspective).

Once they get more comfortable with her, they may end up cuddling.
 
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stacey sperling

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Thank you so much, Ondine. You make a great point - so many cats are not lap cats, though if one or both sat next to her for a few minutes every day she would be over the moon. We need to start with them possibly not running and hiding every time they see her . . . 

We will definitely talk this evening about making sure to play with them every day and moving more slowly, and yes, you nailed it, she does like to scoop one up, so I will ask her to imagine a giant doing that to her.

Thanks for your response and help,

Stacey
 

artiemom

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It has only been about 7 weeks... that is still early.... and I honestly feel that it is easier for cats/kitties to bond with adults before they bond with little children.. 

Children seem to be a bit foreboding to cats.. 

Please give it time...and ask your daughter to be patient..I know that is a lot to ask of a 6 year old..

Perhaps you could slowly introduce her to them with 'treats' and supervised play...Could you also have your daughter feed them? this way they will gain her trust..they will trust her to be their caretaker....

just some thoughts... do not know if these could help you...

Some cats take time,..and a 6 year old, no matter how sweet and gentle, could post a threat to them... 

((hugs))
 
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