Gus has gone

lilywai

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I had to let him go yesterday. It was just so hard - hard to see him feeling so sick and hard to make the decision to help him leave. In the end I let the way he had led his life - all 22 years with me - be the guide, he was so strong and independent, not just physically but mentally too. I sometimes wonder if it was because he was a rescued kitten that maybe such a difficult start in life has meant he had learnt to battle from day one. I really think he knew when he saw me that we would fit together, that I would let him be who he was, allow him as much room and space as he needed, and respect him with all his foibles.
When I went to select a kitten I was determined wanted a black one and a female, the problem was the black female kitten really did not want me! I tried several times to approach this little wild hissing & spitting black ball of fluff but it was clear he wasn't having a bar of me. Meanwhile this tiny grey male kitten, who was just a feral started sniffing my legs and feet, then winding round my legs and feet, then wiping his face on my legs and feet. He told me clearly as he weaved & wiped that he was choosing me and soI left with this little, very beautiful but very wary grey boy I called Gus, it just seemed to fit.
I was 20 then and what a journey we've had over those 22 years together. As I've grown up he has grown old and until a week ago he was healthy and happy and still enjoying his retirement spending each day following the sun around my property and each evening curled up either on me or beside me. I was shocked at his decline so I have had to rush my preparedness to let him go. We (the vet & I) tried two days on antibiotics and fluids but as his back bone began to protrude and his limbs began to swell and he began to look at me with sunken sad eyes I knew he was trying to tell me how bad he was feeling.
We had one last afternoon together, cuddled up in the sun, with him purring with his wet rattling pur and me dropping tear after tear on his fur as I told him what he meant to me. His ending was quick but the feeling I'm left with is going to last a long time I think.
See you again Gussie Boy, thanks for picking me although I feel like I was the lucky one
 

betsygee

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Oh! 22 years with that precious boy. I'm so very sorry. Thank you for coming here to share your story. What a beautiful tribute to a well-loved family member. :rbheart:
 

solomonar

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Purring second line Gus. Head bow, full of respect to an old rainbow cat!
 

di and bob

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You were so fortunate to have had 22 years of sharing your life with that sweet boy, and he was so fortunate to have shared his with you. They become a part of our lives and when they go, it leaves a horrible empty feeling in our hearts and our souls. You have to make a new life's order for yourself now, and the only thing that helps is time. Time slowly heals a broken heart, use your precious memories to bring yourself comfort. The bond you formed is very strong, it can never be taken from you. Use it to send your love, he will do the same. He is bound to your soul, there is a very special place in your heart that tenderly holds him now, he will never leave your future because he was such a big part of your past. He lived a wonderfully long life, a life full of love and devotion, that is all he ever asked for, and you gave him his wish. 

Fill the lonely hours with good acts in his name, it would honor that name to feed the hungry by giving donations to your local shelter or giving your time to comfort the little ones who so desperately need someone to care. His spirit lives on through you now, make it one of happiness and sunshine. 

My heart goes out to you, I'll keep you both in my thoughts and prayers........RIP sweet Gus, you will never be forgotten, your sweetness and gentleness will be dearly missed. May you always find that little spot of sunshine at the Bridge to warm yourself, may your world be full of kitten antics once more. Sleep tight, sweet Prince!
 

lily paddy

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What a great tribute to your sweet wonderful life pet Gus, That picture of the two of u .. the history... I cried reading it, torn between amazed and happy that you had each other for so many years and so sad that he had to leave. Thank you for sharing Gus with us and honoring his life I pray that you have peace and will remember the wonderful time you had together. He will never be forgotten , he loved you too. Till u meet again. 
 
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lilywai

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Thank you so much for your kind words and understanding, it REALLY helps to share the sadness and story with people who understand that bond and how a little furry cat can work their way so deeply into your heart.
I've always found 'the end' hard, my pets (unfortunately or fortunately, I'm not sure which) have had to take on all my maternal love as I can't have children. So they put up with my multiple crazy nicknames, endless conversations, hugs and snuggles (even when they don't want them!) but they get all the love and respect I can muster in return. I love hard and I grieve hard, just seems to be the way it is, but boy, it really does help to share the memories with others who know that heartache.
Thanks again, such lovely words and kind thoughts. They are so appreciated.
L x
 

tamu708

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I'm so very sorry for your loss.  Such a beautiful little guy.  You gave him a life filled with love, happiness and comfort.  They are members of our families and it's so difficult when they leave.  RIP precious Gus.  
 He'll live on in your heart always.
 

jd shredds

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What a beautiful tribute for a beautiful cat. 22 years is an amazing run, and I can only imagine the strength of the bond after all that time. You clearly gave him a wonderful life. After all, he picked you. :) Hang in there, he would want you to be happy.
 

pippen

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Such a lovely tribute to the life you and Gus had together. I love that he so clearly chose you to be his person, so there was never any doubt from the moment he laid eyes on you!

I lost my cat of 11 years recently and the void is great, so I can imagine what it feels like for you when that time together was double. Not just a void in my heart, but in the simple everyday routines. We're going to hurt for a time, you and I, but we're going to be okay. Gus and Pippin would want it that way. 

Rest in sweet peace, Gus, after your long and well-lived life. 
 

zed xyzed

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Gus sounded like such a special boy. To lose a loving companion that has been with you for 22 years is devastating. I am so sorry he had to move on to his next journey. 
 

les26

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What a bittersweet story, the good being that you had him for 22 GREAT years, the bad that you had to say solong, but that is incredible, what a cutie! We have a female cat Sugar who looks like him, and she is a sweetheart too, fiesty when she needs to be, but very little trouble. 

You did a great job taking care of him, and he is glad that he cose YOU many years ago I'm sure, and you will see him again someday. He lived a wonderful life, you both have no regrets, but I certainly understand how you feel about him and how you feel that you will never get over him, but with time things will be easier, not easy, but a bit easier.

Sorry for your loss, God Bless......
 
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