My cat passed two years ago, want a cat but can't get one, support please?

I'm not sure if this is the right place this to post this, I just need some support and someone to talk to who understands.

My beautiful and precious Jasmine aka Jazzy had to be euthanized nearly two years ago due to cancer in her jaw. I had chosen her from the litter when she was only three weeks old and I was 13 (she stayed with her mom of course until she was old enough to leave), and she lived with up until she was 10 years old. I had her brother (my sister's cat) before, but she took him back a late last year as she got her own apartment finally. 

My elegant and lovely Jazzykins


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My home just feels so empty without a purring kitty in it. I have my dog, who I adore dearly, but it's not the same. 

Before, I wasn't feeling like I'd ever want to get another cat as I was in so much grief (and still get upset sometimes even now), but now I feel ready to add a feline to our home, and I can't. 

The reasons:

1) We have a small studio apartment, and can't afford a larger place. While my boyfriend and I did make it work with our two cats and our dog before, it was a little crammed and I had put up cat shelves on the wall, a window seat, and had the catbox in a large dog proof tote. Before, I had rearranged the apartment around the kitties, but now we got rid of everything and I have it set up for studying and school

2) Cockroaches- it didn't matter where it was, the cat food would always attract cockroaches. I also discovered after dismantling and removing things from the wall, they hid inside the cat shelf brackets, book shelf, cat feeding table, and infested the bookshelves as well. We finally have the infestation under control, and introducing cat food and a rubbermaid tote to put the litterbox in would bring them back, and the new furniture would give them more places to hide. (I live in Los Angeles, our neighbors have infestations they don't treat)

3) Finances- Our dog is currently being treated for an ongoing chronic skin condition (requiring daily medication and special prescription food, medicated shampoos, etc), and we are already at  a little over $1000 in vet bills with only $1500 or so left in savings for future vet visits. I quit my job to go to school full time, so we are on one income now. I lucked out with my cat and my sister's cat, as they never got sick all the years I had them, up until my cat  got cancer. I know that there's a good chance if we got a kitty, they might need to go to the vet for something or also have a chronic ongoing issue or something. 

4) My dog doesn't like cats. Well, not that she doesn't like cats per say, but she is very possessive over her toys, food, and her people. She would always chase the kitties, especially if they were "near" her food bowl, treats, toys, etc or climb over them to lay on our lap. -_- The cats grew up with other dogs before, but never dogs that chased them. They adjusted just fine, and they eventually all snoozed on the couch together quite frequently, but Roxy definitely seems to be happier and more at ease being the only animal in our apartment.

5) Time- as my classes get more intense, I spend more and more time at school, studying, etc. I of course make time to walk my dog, play with her, give her meds, etc, but I know that adding another pet to our family would be stressful do to how busy we are.

6) Moving-In the next couple of years, we will most likely be moving for my school, and then two years from that, moving again hopefully if I get into vet school. It's far easier to find a place in Southern California with only a dog (or just ONE pet) compared to a dog and cat as I've found out when we tried to move before. 

Despite all these reasons, my heart longs, selfishly, for a kitty of own again. I found this precious angel on craigslist, who I have fallen for, but know I can not have. She has the elegance and grace that my beautiful Jazzy embodied, and just her photo has stolen my heart.

(In my defense, I wasn't actively searching for a cat or something, I was trying to find cat sitting gigs)

http://losangeles.craigslist.org/wst/pet/5928336236.html


7) When we are finally able to have a cat again, I want to adopt one from an open admission shelter who is at least 4-5 years old as older kitties have a hard time getting adopted.  (she doesn't meet either criteria too)

I am going to start volunteering at animal shelter soon, and trying to also shadow/volunteer at a vet clinic so I can be around kitties again.

I guess, I was just looking for words of advice and understanding. Logically, I know I can't adopt her, but in my heart, I would of already brought her home. 

I have a hard time getting an animal out of my head after I fall in love with them, which explains how we brought our dog home after only going there to "look." Lol. (You try saying no to a dog that is laying on her back, wagging her whole body, and kissing you non stop, We couldn't not adopt her at that point)

Thank you for reading my ramblings! 

Many of us here have been where you are right now - knowing that they shouldn't get another cat but still wanting one terribly.   In other words, yes, people here totally understand what you're going through.    You have a lot of good reasons why you shouldn't adopt another cat right now and they all make a lot of sense.  You've obviously thought this through very carefully so there isn't much I can add, in terms of things to take into consideration.  But your heart wants what it wants and you are still missing your dear Jasmine very much.  She was a very beautiful girl, btw.    And I can see why the cat on Craig's List is tugging at your heartstrings so strongly.  She's a very pretty cat with a real sense of presence.    

The one point you may not have considered is that once you start volunteering at a shelter and shadowing at a vet clinic, you are going to come into contact with plenty of cats who need homes.  The cat on Craig's List is only a picture at this point but you are going to meet a lot of loving, needy cats in "person" soon.  It's going to be even more difficult to resist bringing one home than it is to resist  Craig's List Cat.    I think what I am saying is that maybe it's best to hold off until you are actually around kitties again because odds are very good that one of those kitties is going to completely win your heart, just like your dog did.  If you couldn't say no to your dog, how are you going to say no to a flesh and blood kitty laying on the charm?  

Having said all that, if you do adopt Craig's List Cat, I totally understand.  

Thanks for the response!

Thank you, she really was. It was funny how different her and her brother were.. She was all lithe and graceful, to the point where if I was playing a board game, she would delicately walk across and not mess up a single piece. Her brother on the other hand, is twice as fluffy with none of the grace and would knock over everything. She also would bite my legs to be picked up and held, but only wanted to be held and carried if I was standing. The moment I sat down, she would jump off my lap, bite my legs again to ask to be picked up (or delicately paw at them,  but normally it was a chomp if I wasn't paying attention to her) and repeat. She loved to be held and carried around in my arms, but ONLY if I was standing. Not sure why, but she was that way since she was a kitten. She also would drool, saliva would drip out of her mouth when she purred, so she was my leaky faucet. The vet said it was because she was so happy when she was being held she drooled from over excitement. 

I was thinking maybe volunteering at the shelter or vet would help me get my kitty fix, and make me feel happier again. I didn't think so much about the urges to bring a shelter cat home though...

I absolutely adore my dog's vet clinic, the staff there is so sweet and nice, but seeing the vet who diagnosed my cat, did her treatment, and was the one who euthanized Jazzy before she got to the point where she would be in pain brought back a rush of emotion and grief, and made me realize that I really want a cat again now.  I know another kitty could never replace her, but I feel that I have a lot of love to give to another feline friend. I've been back to the same clinic three times now since she went to kitty heaven, but had seen the other two vets before.  

As much as I would love too, my boyfriend and I were discussing it and he is 100% against us getting another cat again in our current situation. There is absolutely no wiggle room in the manner, as much as I wish there was. So even if I have the urges and want to bring home a purrfect shelter kitty, it won't be possible. Sigh. Being responsible is no fun. 

I do think just being able to interact with cats again will help a lot though. I grew up with cats from the time I was a baby basically, and always have considered myself a cat person. I  also grew  up always getting another animal shortly after another passed over to the rainbow bridge (that's just what my stepmom would do), so it's hard being in a position I've never been in before.  

It also doesn't help that I have had so many animals over the years, rats, gerbils, guinea pigs, fish, hermit crabs, but miss Jasmine was the one animal I had always had and was always there. 

I'm also going to  hopefully fly down and see my sister and her cat (Jazzy's brother) sometime in the next 8-10 months hopefully, so that'll be nice. 

Foster! You get to have a kitty around, you're helping said kitty and the rescue, and it's only temporary.

Stay off Craigslist, that's just going to exacerbate your feelings. And there's nothing wrong with missing a member of the family.

Could you foster? That sounds like a very good idea. I was thinking about suggesting volunteering at a shelter, but then you'd be putting yourself in the middle of many cats needing homes. You might see if any boarding facilities need help, and the pet sitting sounds great. If you want to put an ad in craigslist, do that and then run! Do not stay and look at ads, that'll get you every time. Good luck!

I, like many others here, can sure understand your longing for another kitty to love. I also lost my beloved kitty, Mickey, over two years ago and still mourn his loss. I have adopted not one but two kitties since his passing. I still love and miss my Mickey dearly. My present two kitties will never replace him, Mickey was too special. I have always had a kitty, though, and was so lonely without one. I do love my new kitties very much, and Mickey will always remain in my heart. I just hope he would understand and approve.
I am sure your Jazzy would understand and approve as well. Your Jazzy was such a beautiful kitty! I can sure understand you missing her. Yes, as others have said, you could foster or volunteer at a shelter. Then, you, would be around kitties all the time and helping them as well. As for me, I don't think I could ever do either one. I would want to keep them all! Yes, I truly love animals, especially kitties. Also, I am a real softy. Any kitty in need of a home would have one.
At Petsmart, when I shop, my husband tries to keep me away from looking at the kitties. He loves animals, but feels the two we have now is just right.
Whatever you decide, I only wish the best for you.
I do hope you can have a kitty of your own soon. They do need alot, but they give back so much more in return.

Poor thing, I understand the "urge" completely! Since you are in Los Angeles, have you heard of Crumbs & Whiskers? It's kinda like a cat cafe, but you pay to reserve a time and can buy drinks that the staff will pick up for you. It just opened and seems hugely popular. I'm not sure I'd recommend fostering to you as your dog wasn't super cat-friendly (at least he didn't sound mean or aggressive). Volunteering even one day a week may help.

I'm in the San Gabriel Valley and will need a cat sitter a few times this year for impending trips, lol.  I'll PM you!

 http://crumbsandwhiskers.com/los-angeles-store/

Thanks everyone for the responses. Sorry I haven't responded, I've been super busy with trying to keep up with my chemistry class. 

Fostering was a great suggestion! At first, my boyfriend shot it down without discussion, but later in the night we talked about it, and he was open to it possibly after we found out more about it. 

We really wanted to foster with our local city shelters, and were excited about it until we read more into it. They only seem to foster out pregnant moms, bottle kittens, moms with babies that are too little to adopt, or really shy/overwhelmed cats that need a break. I love my Roxy Roo and she is very sweet, but she has a VERY high prey drive and the thought of her with wee, baby kittens scares me. I think either a) she'd see them as prey (less likely, but she did act like my guinea pigs that I fostered a few  years ago were a treat for her-she sat on her hind legs when she wants a treat), or b) try to play with them roughly and hurt them, or just bulldoze over them. Obviously, shy/overwhelmed cats wouldn't be a good fit for our home either. Plus, you are required to pay for food, litter, toys, etc. 

So we nixed that idea. I was imagining a scenario more where we housed a youngish cat with some spunk and freed up a cage in the shelter, which seems unlikely. I also imagine that now that I'm thinking more clearly, other rescue groups wouldn't be super fond of our dog either. 

Plus, I don't think she would be overjoyed at the idea of sharing her bed and pillow with a feline friend.



Or her dad. Lol

So it's better just to keep it her we've decided.

I haven't heard of that place, I'll be sure to check it out!

I've decided to wait just a little longer to start volunteering at the animal shelter, as I know it would be super hard on me. A boarding place is a really good idea though! I completely didn't think about that at all!

I'm doing a good job laying off the CL, I have an ad posted but only check my email. 

Loving Mickey said:

I, like many others here, can sure understand your longing for another kitty to love. I also lost my beloved kitty, Mickey, over two years ago and still mourn his loss. I have adopted not one but two kitties since his passing. I still love and miss my Mickey dearly. My present two kitties will never replace him, Mickey was too special. I have always had a kitty, though, and was so lonely without one. I do love my new kitties very much, and Mickey will always remain in my heart. I just hope he would understand and approve.
I am sure your Jazzy would understand and approve as well. Your Jazzy was such a beautiful kitty! I can sure understand you missing her. Yes, as others have said, you could foster or volunteer at a shelter. Then, you, would be around kitties all the time and helping them as well. As for me, I don't think I could ever do either one. I would want to keep them all! Yes, I truly love animals, especially kitties. Also, I am a real softy. Any kitty in need of a home would have one.
At Petsmart, when I shop, my husband tries to keep me away from looking at the kitties. He loves animals, but feels the two we have now is just right.
Whatever you decide, I only wish the best for you.
I do hope you can have a kitty of your own soon. They do need alot, but they give back so much more in return.

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I'm sorry about your loss with Mickey. It's really hard. I'm sure Mickey would be happy that you opened your home to two other kitties, and would want that for you. Thank you for the compliments on her, she really was. When I was helping my sister search shelters online for a dog, I somehow managed to get on the cat postings, and noticed I still only gravitate towards kitties that look similar to her or with medium length coats. I know that when the time comes, another kitty could never replace her, I just find cats that have similar features to be "my type." She gave me very high standards. Lol. I know seeing cats in person would be different than online surfing though.

Haha my boyfriend used to do that for me too, but with rats. How I adore rats. Enjoy your two furballs! It's so easy to want to give another kitty a good home. They really do. Cats are just wonderful!

Dear Jazzystarr,

You have a lot on your plate. First is your boyfriend as committed to you the animals and you as you are? Next get those stinkin' roaches under control. This is how I did it:
ALL trash goes out of the house each night.
Get Bengal concentrate and spray the exterior of your house, spray up about three feet on your exterior walls (at least the ones you can access) then out into the yard landscaping four feet and concentrate on any likely openings (weep holes).
Always clear up all dirty dishes and run the dishwasher each evening.
Spray down counters and sink with window cleaner-do not dry.
throw away anything made out of cardboard.
Consider leaving your kitchen lights on at night along with a fan or ceiling fan.

I too, fell for a kitty when I was not looking but was denied as the cat was in another state. I was crushed. Several years later I adopted an adult tabby and we are happy.

Focus on the pets you have today along with school, your next move and do something daily for yourself.

Carolee

Thanks for your post @Carole001

My boyfriend is the less of the pet lover out of us two, but he is very committed to any animals we get, and we've been together for nearly nine years now

The roach problem is pretty well handled, it's rare that I see a roach *knock on wood* every now and then. I live in a studio apartment indoors, nor do I have a dishwasher, but I appreciate your tips. We've been making sure to take out the trash at night, and wash and dry all dishes before bed too, and I'm going to start spraying down everything with cleaner at night too now.

I'm feeling much better about not having a kitty, and feel fine just focusing on our dog and not upsetting our household with a new addition. I know that when we adopt or foster a kitty many years from now, it will be a much better situation and we will be able to provide the best possible home for them. 

I'm also taking all my cat searching energy into school planning, and have been making detailed course schedules for the upcoming semesters, and planning out internships and volunteering. 

I'm glad you have an adult tabby that you are happy with!

Thank you again everyone for all your posts and feedback, they really helped me a lot.