foster kitty behaviors

Hello,
I have a foster kitty with many behavioral issues. She came to me with self grooming issues and was frightened and distrustful. Initially I kept her in my office because she fought with my own cats and clearly needed a peaceful place to relax. When it was clear that she was not getting enough attention there I moved her into my bedroom with me and that is where she is now.

Lily remains quite nervous and easily stressed. loud noises or changes in the house cause her to vomit her food and her skittishness increases. My vet has put her on a limited ingredient diet and amytriptyline cream to address the stress and possible food allergy. I have had her now for two months. She has learned to trust me a little, allowing me to pet her sometimes and sometimes biting me. She sleeps tight against me/on top of me at night.
I think I am making mistakes and I would appreciate your help.

First, I think I am treating her as if she were an actual traumatized person... walking quietly into the room, trying to move around her carefully so that she does not rush frightened from place to place. It's kind of driving me a little nuts because sometimes I just need to come and go normally and not worry so much about upsetting her.

Second, I have insomnia and I don't sleep very well as it is much less with a cat. Im willing to keep trying if you can help me with suggestions. I am in and out of bed all night...usually half asleep. She sleeps on top of me. It's really hard to get her off. I try to push her off gently because I don't want to stress her but she doesn't move. She is heavy and I have to push very hard. Sometimes when I finally get her to move, I have completely woken up and it's hard to get back to sleep because she kind of runs anxiously about the room and in and out of the bathroom for an hour or so after. Also, sometimes she bites. I will get up in the middle of the night and when we get all settled back into bed she likes to be petted. Sometimes out of the blue she gets upset, bites me, and jumps off (to do some frantic pacing etc.). Bedtime can be hectic and worrying about keeping her calm is kind of rough.

My vet says that it's perfectly okay to walk normally about the room and if she stresses just let it happen because she needs to get adjusted to normal everyday home life. She also states that I should simply push her firmly off when I need to get up at night. She suggests that the biting is her way of dominating. She has increased the amytriptiline dosage and that starts now.

I know that lily is probably permanently mine. I don't mind that she lives in the bedroom. I don't think many people would be interested in a slightly antisocial kitty who is half nude and bites. I like her. She has an interesting personality. I hope she gets better.

Bless you for taking on Lily.  She has a lot of problems to overcome but it sounds like you're doing a great job with her.    I agree with your vet about just walking into your room naturally.  If you don't start doing so, Lily will never get used to it.   She knows the bedroom is safe by now so even if she hides the first few times, she'll eventually come around.

You really do need your sleep and as a fellow insomnia sufferer, I know that cats can make that problem much worse.  You are warm and represent love and security so she wants to sleep with you, but if you offer her a reasonable substitute, she should be able to adapt.  Perhaps it would help to get her one of those self-heating cat beds and put it on the bed with you.  Check out amazon for an idea of what's on the market. You can try spraying the bed with catnip spray or Feliway spray to make it extra inviting.  

You are definitely going to have a few rough nights in the beginning.  You're going to have to firmly put her in her bed every time she lies on top of you.  Give her a treat when she's in the bed, so she sees the bed as a good place.   And try to cut back on petting her after she's gotten up in the middle of the night.  A few snuggles and strokes is okay, but nighttime is not the time for a full session.  Ignoring those demands will not be easy, either.

And finally, the reason why she suddenly bites you when you're petting her might be because she has become overly stimulated.  Pay very close attention to her body language and you should be able to sense when she's reaching that point.   The tip of her tail may start to twitch, or she may wag the entire thing.  Her muscles will become tense and her pupils will become dilated.  This happens quickly so you don't get much warning but with time, you'll get almost an intuitive feel for her response and know when to stop.  

Good luck!