Will my kitten grow up to be more affectionate?

daphnekitty

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About a month ago I adopted my first cat: a siamese mix kitten. Now he's four months old and he is very playful and adorable, but definitely not a lappy cat. He likes to sleep close to me (he even slept leaning on my leg once) and sometimes I can get him to purr when I pet him- but most of the time he doesn't want petting and just goes away if I try to pet him.

I love him very much, but everytime I see cats going to their owners for petting and sleeping on their laps, can my kitten grow up to be like this? Is it because he's not used to living with me yet or is it just his personality?

Sorry for any mistakes, English isn't my first language.
 

Primula

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Every cat is different. Some cats are very affectionate, but will not sit on a lap. Some cats do not purr at all. The important thing is whether or not your kitten is happy. I'm sure he is happy with you.
 

littlecatt

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Maybe, but not necessarily -- though that isn't a bad thing! Your cat is who he is. Many kittens enjoy curling up in someone's lap, though they're also very rambunctious at that age, and maybe being pet just isn't as appealing as playing! Every cat has a different personality. I've seen from stories on here that sometimes cats go through cycles of affection, with an affectionate cat feeling secure in its new home and becoming less affectionate, or an unaffectionate cat feeling secure and becoming more affectionate. The more love you give your cat, the more love it'll give to you. However there are many ways for cats to show love besides sitting in your lap! My cats growing up were not lap cats at all and hated being picked up, but they were still so loving and would follow me from room to room! One would lie next to me, though one didn't ever feel the need to lie that close and would settle in at the foot of the bed or the other side of the couch.

So I think it's both his personality and his age! A four month kitten isn't going to want to sit still and lounge around, though it may also be indicative of him not being a lap kind of cat. Ignore the rest of those cats -- pay attention to your cat, and how he shows you love! Every cat has their own language and some like to be touched and snuggled more than others, just like people. It doesn't mean your cat loves and appreciates you any less. :)
 

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Careful what you wish for.    I'm at my desk and have placed my cat (on the desk, on the floor, in the other room).  At LEAST 30 times today.

  She's in my lap again.
This is the same EVERY DAY. 

Most of the time, I don't know how she gets there.   I just go to get up and there's a cat in my lap. 
 
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daphnekitty

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Thank you all for replying!
Every cat is different. Some cats are very affectionate, but will not sit on a lap. Some cats do not purr at all. The important thing is whether or not your kitten is happy. I'm sure he is happy with you.
Awww! I'll do my best to provide him happiness & love everyday.
 
So I think it's both his personality and his age! A four month kitten isn't going to want to sit still and lounge around, though it may also be indicative of him not being a lap kind of cat. Ignore the rest of those cats -- pay attention to your cat, and how he shows you love! Every cat has their own language and some like to be touched and snuggled more than others, just like people. It doesn't mean your cat loves and appreciates you any less. :)
Thanks to you now I've noticed he has his own way to show me love. Sometimes when he's licking himself he grabs my hand with his little paws and licks me, it's really adorable! He also likes to rub himself on my legs, but mostly, licking is his thing. For some reason, he really likes to lick my hand and does it everytime he's licking himself 

 
Careful what you wish for.    I'm at my desk and have placed my cat (on the desk, on the floor, in the other room).  At LEAST 30 times today.

  She's in my lap again.
This is the same EVERY DAY. 

Most of the time, I don't know how she gets there.   I just go to get up and there's a cat in my lap. 
Omg 
 I'm sure she just loves you very much!
 

NewYork1303

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In my experience, kittens get less affectionate as they age not more. But our rainbow cat actually became much more affectionate as she got older after she turned nine. So its always possible. 
 

plan

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Careful what you wish for.    I'm at my desk and have placed my cat (on the desk, on the floor, in the other room).  At LEAST 30 times today.

  She's in my lap again.
This is the same EVERY DAY. 

Most of the time, I don't know how she gets there.   I just go to get up and there's a cat in my lap. 
Does yours try to block the computer monitor? Mine climbs up on my desk and plops himself down right in front of the screen. If I try to ignore him and crane my neck over him while trying to finish typing out a sentence, he will move closer to the monitor to block more of it so I'm forced to stop.

It's very much like, "Stop staring at magic rectangle glow, now is petting time for Buddy!"

Smart, stubborn little dude. I have deadlines, so I try to give him a little love, take two minutes or so to pet him and talk to him. If he doesn't move along, I try to distract him by tossing a treat for something fun to play with onto the floor, and usually he'll dive after it.
 

basscat

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Does yours try to block the computer monitor? Mine climbs up on my desk and plops himself down right in front of the screen. If I try to ignore him and crane my neck over him while trying to finish typing out a sentence, he will move closer to the monitor to block more of it so I'm forced to stop.

It's very much like, "Stop staring at magic rectangle glow, now is petting time for Buddy!"

Smart, stubborn little dude. I have deadlines, so I try to give him a little love, take two minutes or so to pet him and talk to him. If he doesn't move along, I try to distract him by tossing a treat for something fun to play with onto the floor, and usually he'll dive after it.
Not the monitor, but, that last part is spot on.
This is a "shop cat".  (a stray kitten that somebody dumped at my workplace).  She now lives here.  We joke about taking her home and bringing one of our house cats to the shop.  Jokingly think there must be something about the shop that makes a cat...the most perfect, sweet, loveable, nicest cat there is. Unlike our little mischievous terrors at home.

But, it's not the computer, it's the lap.   She will cross my desk and plop right into my lap, curl up and go to sleep (while I'm typing just like this).  I can move her and right back in my lap she is. 
It's so frequent that most of the time I never even know she's there, or when she got there.   I'll just start to get up and.."Hey, Where'd you come from?"

When I pick her up, I just bend over and stick my hand under her belly and pick her up.
She will walk up to me, look up, meow if needed.  When she knows I see her, she will TURN around facing away from me. Which is the position to be picked up.
 
Never had another cat anything like her.  There's not a spot on her that she doesn't like to be petted or brushed.   She gets brushed on one certain table.  When I grab the brush, she will rocket to that table.  And fall over on her side like something yanked her feet out from under her.  Belly up..brush me, brush me, brush me!!!   Purr and wiggle the whole time.  It'll make you feel bad for stopping.
 

basscat

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Great story. Does she live alone inside when you have left? I'm sure you've had her fixed.
Yes, stays inside, by herself, nights and weekends. And yes.
She's been here about three years.  Probably 6 to 8 months old when she showed up.
And...she's in my lap and I don't know when she got there.
 

simonschuster

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My 15 year old guy has never been a lap cat, but as he got older he became more and more of a ''right up next to me' cat. He enjoys sitting right by me on the sofa and particularly likes his back feet held (strange?). He hates to be picked up, but loves a good belly rub and snuggle on the sofa or bed and will purr like an outboard motor to show his delight. Enjoy your kitty!
 

plan

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I feel bad that she's alone on nights and weekends. It does sound like she gets a lot of love when people are around though.
 

elliesvictim

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Give him the "cold shoulder" for a couple of days. Watch how fast he'll be all up in your business.
My 1yr old is a stubborn, cranky frustrating little $h&t. But if I ignore her for an hour she follow me around desperate for affection.
Cats are weird.
 

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My cats are not lap cats either, but I guess that's just how it is sometimes.  They each love you in their own way.

It's important to let your cat come to you, and not to go after them so they feel they have to get up and walk away.  A good test is to hold your hand in front of their face and wait for a reaction.  If your cat head-butts your hand, he wants to be petted. If not, don't.   Maybe try playing with him instead?

 And just give it time.  My 3 year old cat particularly hates being picked up and has always mainly wanted me to play with him, but then all of a sudden he's started coming to sit right next to me with his head and paws on my lap.  What a sweet surprise!
 

kittens mom

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About a month ago I adopted my first cat: a siamese mix kitten. Now he's four months old and he is very playful and adorable, but definitely not a lappy cat. He likes to sleep close to me (he even slept leaning on my leg once) and sometimes I can get him to purr when I pet him- but most of the time he doesn't want petting and just goes away if I try to pet him.

I love him very much, but everytime I see cats going to their owners for petting and sleeping on their laps, can my kitten grow up to be like this? Is it because he's not used to living with me yet or is it just his personality?

Sorry for any mistakes, English isn't my first language.
At 4 months my two babies raised from 3 1/2 weeks are not as affectionate with me as before. Right now they are busy exploring , playing and honing all the skills their instincts tell the to. This is normal and they do come back to you. His independence is a good thing as he grows he will be confident and less likely to have anxiety when you're not at home. Right now enjoy the antics and interact by playing with string toys and other interactive play. We do get affection from our babies but they are usually either running play hunting and stalking each other or passed out. Your cat may or may not be the picture of what you had in mind but you will develop a close and loving relationship based on both your needs. Right now your kit would respond well to clicker training. Which is a bonding experience just as much as sitting on your lap for petting.
 

elliesvictim

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Plus cats are fickle. They'll be all over you one week and the next look at you like "uh, you still live here". Don't overthink it. Don't worry if they don't like you they'll let you know. Like I said it sounds cruel but cold shoulder.
 

kittens mom

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Plus cats are fickle. They'll be all over you one week and the next look at you like "uh, you still live here". Don't overthink it. Don't worry if they don't like you they'll let you know. Like I said it sounds cruel but cold shoulder.
Ignoring an animal will not make them more affectionate or create a better bond. it doesn't work with humans either.
 

elliesvictim

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W
Ignoring an animal will not make them more affectionate or create a better bond. it doesn't work with humans either.
Who said anything about humans?
@daphnekitty was trying to find alternatives, I offered one but thank you for your criticism.
Good luck @daphnekitty don't be afraid to try different things. Not everything can be cured with rainbows and unicorns.
 
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daphnekitty

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My cats are not lap cats either, but I guess that's just how it is sometimes.  They each love you in their own way.

It's important to let your cat come to you, and not to go after them so they feel they have to get up and walk away.  A good test is to hold your hand in front of their face and wait for a reaction.  If your cat head-butts your hand, he wants to be petted. If not, don't.   Maybe try playing with him instead?

 And just give it time.  My 3 year old cat particularly hates being picked up and has always mainly wanted me to play with him, but then all of a sudden he's started coming to sit right next to me with his head and paws on my lap.  What a sweet surprise!
I tried holding my hand in front of his face and umm... He licked my hand. And now everytime I do this he just starts a licking-Daphne's-hand session...

I actually decided to give him time and it kinda worked - I feel like everyday he's becoming closer to me.
Plus cats are fickle. They'll be all over you one week and the next look at you like "uh, you still live here". Don't overthink it. Don't worry if they don't like you they'll let you know. Like I said it sounds cruel but cold shoulder.
Hahaw thanks, but I can't ignore him... He's just so cute and even if he doesn't ask for petting, he brings his favorite toys to my bed to play and it's just adorable 
 

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I'm glad your kitty is being more affectionate. you mentioned that he was a Siamese mix.  Siamese kittens are, if my Siamese is any indication, *VERY* energetic and playful.  I know at 4 months, my kitten was usually too busy running around like a crazy kitten to sit in my lap, unless she was asleep (She did and does sleep on/against me a lot, though not always).

At around 4 months, my kitten calmed a little and began to be more affectionate and I expect that trend to continue ( today she sat in my housemate's lap for 5 minutes, and purred in mine for a bit, also, which was unheard of a couple months back)

Does your kitten do any of the Siamese things like playing fetch, the Siamese meow that sounds like a crying baby, or gazing at you with wide adoring eyes? My mom had some Siamese Mixes, and they did some of the "Siamese things", and I loved them so much, that when I got a cat a few years alter, I got a bluepoint traditional Siamese.
 
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