Cat Commandments
* Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the modem.
* Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.
* Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.
* Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or monitor as thou are not transparent.
* Thou shalt not projectile vomit from the top of the refrigerator.
* Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.
* Thou shalt not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face.
* Thou shalt not leap from great heights onto thy human's tender areas.
* Fast as thou are, thou cannot run through closed doors.
* Thou shalt not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it.
* Thou shalt not climb on the garbage can with the hinged lid, as thou wilt fall in and trap thyself.
* Thou shalt not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.
* Thou shalt not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 4 a.m.
* Thou shalt realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at any opportunity.
* Thou shalt not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slow.
* Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.
* Thou shalt remember that thou art a carnivore and that houseplants are not meat.
* Thou shalt show remorse when being scolded.
* Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the modem.
* Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.
* Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.
* Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or monitor as thou are not transparent.
* Thou shalt not projectile vomit from the top of the refrigerator.
* Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.
* Thou shalt not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face.
* Thou shalt not leap from great heights onto thy human's tender areas.
* Fast as thou are, thou cannot run through closed doors.
* Thou shalt not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it.
* Thou shalt not climb on the garbage can with the hinged lid, as thou wilt fall in and trap thyself.
* Thou shalt not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.
* Thou shalt not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 4 a.m.
* Thou shalt realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at any opportunity.
* Thou shalt not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slow.
* Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.
* Thou shalt remember that thou art a carnivore and that houseplants are not meat.
* Thou shalt show remorse when being scolded.
