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We don't have to worry about the "Red Worm" virus. . .

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
because something even more deadly is growing at TCS, and if we don't all decide to kill this "bacteria" in its early stages it will grow and multiply from "inflamed" to "infected" to "gangrenous"!

Believe me when I say I have been uneasy for the last week; pondering whether or not to make this post. Finally I realized that I HAD to say what I feel. I do not intend the things that follow be directed at any one person; but if you see yourself(to any degree) in this thread then it is time to ask, "Am I part of the problem; and how can I start to be a part of the solution.

I joined this site because it was a forum for cat lovers. A place to share information, ask advice, and most of all have good, stimulating conversation.

I did not join TCS to act like high school "locker room popularity" junkies; who have to constantly reassure themselves of who their "bestest bud" is or whether they have more COOL FRIENDS in their "possee" who all think the same, dress the same, eat the same and are continually Happy, "Happy", HAPPY! (or any of the other 7 dwarfs)

I thought we were off to a pretty good start with threads like Stem Cell Research, Books, Books, Books, and Movie and video critiques, etc. The later contraversial threads on Relationships and Piercings and Tattoos also had their great moments.

No one enjoys welcoming New Members more than I!!! OR joining in on a congra(d)tulatory "Cyber Party"!! If this were the only reason for this Site to be in exhistence; then you would find me at the front of the line(in a bad, back vented gown) waiting for my frontal lobotomy!

Seriously, I am so glad that people with opinions, who read the daily news and watch tv or go to movies, and hold down full time jobs or stay at home to raise families or are retired(been there done that) and have lives outside TCS take the time to come online and enrich my life with their experiences! And, that these same people allow me the privledge of sharing my stories and opinions. . . .


We now see a whole new generation of young members(like KittyLove and LilGreenKat to name only two) who have joined TCS because they found us "interesting" and "fun" and "educational". Let's not ruin their enjoyment by weilding slings and arrows at each other's personalities. I want there to be a Cat Site for them to come to well into the future!

I, for one miss Mr.Cat and MeowMan and others who are no longer around as frequently. I know that their self-imposed sabaticals are due in
part to how their opinions were received. Perhaps if we sart to show them the inkling of improvement; they will return.

You all know that TCS is Anne's gift to us. By that I mean, that she sticks with it thru thick and thin so that we have a place to come to meet with friends(old and new). The extra power that Anne had to buy recently to meet our needs and the laptop she and Alpha obtained so she could stay with us; were not FREE. Who do you think paid for it or "floated a loan" to obtain the improvements? Unless some filthy rich member passed and left an endowment that I don't know about; my guess would be Anne and Alpha. And how do we repay her? I hope not by continuing to "feed" this cancer that threatens our Site!

As always, I have grown long-winded.(I always do when the subject matter is something I am "passionate" about). As I said early on; I did not start this thread to single anyone out. (or will I) I will accept my share of blame for letting this "virus" go this far, and I will also try to be part of a solution. I am looking forward to any (and all) ideas on where we can go from here so TCS will be around for that 1,000,000th post!
post #2 of 12
Beautifully said, TLK. I know that many of us (if not all) will agree with the sentiments you have expressed. I don't have anything to add to what you've said, but I just wanted to add my whole hearted support to this. Thank you, and thank you Anne for such a great site.
post #3 of 12
I agree with what you have said TLK and thank you for posting it. I for one find myself hesitant to post lately do to the way things have been going.

And I also agree that Anne is to be thanked for this site. So let me now say THANK YOU ANNE. Thank you for the site and the time and money it takes for you to keep it up!!!
post #4 of 12
I will go whole-heartedly along with this. I do hope that folks don't decide this means that they can't express opinions on some non-cat matters,but the "choosing up sides"atmosphere is getting old. I don't agree with everyone all the time and sometimes I find myself agreeing with someone I least expected to. When the animosity is left out I find some highly intelligent and thoughtful posts here. I often learn things or at least find some viewpoint that makes me think. Let's not lose that.

Anne,I too have to thank you. A job well done for sure. Hopefully someday soon I'll be able to help out with a little more than words.
post #5 of 12

You're one heck of a person and you are right on the mark in your post. You've got my support 100%.

post #6 of 12
I want to be able to talk about things of substance, and I want us all to be able to express our opinions without fear of repercussions, or nasty replies.

With any relationship, you hit a wall where if you don't continue to grow and learn about each other. After awhile you need to have meaningful discussions, to continue to find out new things about each other. I have made some wonderful friends on this board, people that I've gone way beyond the 'my cat did this' stage. People who know what is going on in my life, and vice versa. People that when we talk, we don't always talk about cats, TCS or the internet.

We really can learn a lot from each other. That's why I want to talk about things of varying opinion. Darlene for example has lead an extraordinary life, she's got a lot of interesting things to say. I want to hear them. Donna, gives freely of herself to helping paws. She has a huge heart. She is relentless in her protection of animals. Deb25 is absolutely hilarious and has me in tears everytime we talk. I throughly enjoy Imagynes posts and I wish he posted in the lounge more. I find him to be intelligent and witty. He has strong opinions & he states them. I like that. I could go on and on about the good people here.

On the flip side of that, we aren't going to be one big happy family singing Amazing Grace. We are going to disagree. But we have to feel like we can do that without fear of being flamed. Lately there has been a trend of nastiness, and it's very very sad.

Let's not squander this wonderful thing that Anne has given us.
post #7 of 12
TLK & Hissy,

You two are wonderful people for saying something that really needed to be said! Well Done You Two!
post #8 of 12
This is a growing community, and with growth comes change. Most of the change is good, however there are some in this community that must either resent change or just want to stop it altogether. They appear to take great delight in character assassinations and sometimes even take it further. There are also those who will take the words here and put them out privately, and by the time those words are repeated, they are usually blown up a bit, and as they pass through the ranks, they get really blown out of proportion. (Remember playing telephone when you were little?)

Like all communities, there is a social structure here, and people who are finding common interests naturally gravatate together. This would appear to be aggravating to some who feel they don't "belong" and therefore, they lash out at those people who have become friends. On the same line, when someone is attacked, flamed, put-down, whatever you want to call it, then there are those who will jump in to defend their friends. This happens in real life people, so it is bound to happen here.

Anne has been a wonderful diplomat in letting us talk about other issues besides just cats. I am immersed in animals all day, and coming here to talk about cats if I had to do it constantly, would keep me away. The diversity here is the different cultures that gather here. And how this website is frequented by all different kinds of people ALL over the world is part of the allure here! We have all learned from each other, and we should keep those doors of learning open, because there are always new members signing on. I would rather give them an education in caring for cats, or learning how to express a viewpoint and not get slammed for it, then letting them come here so they can get their Jerry Springer Show kick for the day.

People have left and are missed that is true, but it is also true that some people who come here have only one intention and that is to spread hate and discontent. For whatever perverse reason they seem to draw out of it, they hit and run and then come back to assess the damage.

In the past, some of my posts have stepped on people, and I apologize for that. Like so many others, I reach a point where I need to say something, and some times I say it right, and some times it turns out wrong. Even when I get a behind the scenes approval by people to scared to speak out because of others being attacked here if what I said, ends up hurting someone, I do feel badly about it and vow to learn from my mistakes. BUT I don't come here on a daily basis and paint targets on unsuspecting posters and start firing bullets at them, which is what is happening now in some instances. This is the dark side of this forum, and not what this forum was intended for at all. If we met someone in life that had all these negative things to say about someone we *know* Wouldn't we just walk away from them and not give them the time of day? So why is it so hard not to walk away from this type of bait here? My opionion is, that it is because the insults are printed out on this screen and we invite them into our personal space, and they are right there in front of us sort of mocking what we have come to love (coming here)Then we lose reason and reply and there we are in the black hole along with the original poster who just wanted to start trouble in the first place!

These are my thoughts, and I wrote them down once, but they got lost in cyberspace, so I tried to re-formulate what I said in this second post. I love coming here, I have made some good friends here, I have grown to love and respect Anne for what she has done here and what she is trying to achieve. Please let's not let a few malcontents come here and destroy all her hard work. That would be such a huge mistake.
post #9 of 12
Right on Hissy!
post #10 of 12
Hissy, that was even better than the first one!
post #11 of 12
Beautifully said Hissy!

I have only seen one post that I consider flaming recently, but I haven't been here much lately...and if this has been the norm then I'm glad I missed it.

I too have been guilty of using sarcasm to mask what I'd like to say at times, for fear of being flamed or worse. This is not done out of hate, rather out of love for someone I feel is being treated unfairly.

I have bitten my tongue (fingers) many times to keep from saying what I feel, but sometimes I failed and posted anyway, and I may have done a better job of saying what I felt, or better yet, not posted at all.

If I have at any time offended anyone, I apologize.

I truely hope there will be no more conflict, but just as in "real life" its bound to happen occasionally.

post #12 of 12
3LK and the rest of you have said it beautifully. If the discussion were simply about cats, I wouldn't have 1300 posts to my credit. I enjoy the talking and getting to know the other facets of people.

Have any of you people ever had a disagreement with others in your other life? Do you always revert to getting "down and dirty" every time something doesn't go your way?

I try to be as diplomatic as possible when posting, but if somebody is going to pull on the gloves, I am not going to sit here and be walked on.

As to "members" that come only to cause havoc: there's a little option called "ignore". You can't flame anybody when nobody sees your words. I'll say that when these interlopers come in to simply cause trouble, I will be standing by our respected members.

Enough said from me.
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