Is introducing my cats going well or not? I can't tell!

Hi there,

So we got our new kitten 2 and a half weeks ago (Bella). She was already 4 months old when we got her. I have had my other cat (Ruby) since she was 2 months old and she is now 4 and a half years old.

Ruby has lived with another cat before, but he passed away when she was a few months shy of turning 2 years old. So Ruby has been an only cat for about 2 and a half years. She is a very "scardy" cat... I'd like to mention now that both cats have been indoor cats all of their lives - we take Ruby out on a harness. When we take Ruby out on her harness, a lot of the time she loves it but will stick close by us, but other times she smells something or see's one of the neighbourhood cats and gets really mad (hissing, growling, swiping at us). We have not had the chance to introduce Bella to the harness yet but she is not the one I am worried about. 

Bella is a typical kitten that plays and sleeps all the time and she appears totally un-phased. We have a spare bedroom so we keep her in here, and she did not leave this room for the first week that we had her. We swapped their blankets back and forth for the first week as well. Then we left the door slightly ajar to Bella's room and let them smell each other - both cats hissed as we expected. Over the next week we introduced them more, we opened the door and let them just look at each other from a distance, then we played with both cats individually but with the door fully open, then again but closer, etc. etc...

We are now at the point where, as I speak, Bella and Ruby both have free roam of the whole house and I simply sit and observe so make sure no fights arise. They have slept on the same couch together (albeit on completely different ends of the couch) and have touched noses on a few occasions, however, Ruby my older cat gets very mad whenever myself or my partner will try to cuddle her. As SOON as the kitten is shut back in her bedroom (we do not let them be alone together, e.g. at nights or when we are out shopping etc) Ruby is back to normal and wants cuddles from us again.

Ruby has never been a very affectionate cat anyway, but she has gotten very moody with us since the kittens arrival. I realise it has only been two and a half weeks, and I can see that progress has been made, but I'm just worries that we made a really bad decision inviting a new kitten into our home because Ruby doesn't seem happy when the kitten is around!? She is also visibly jealous when we spend time with the kitten... She has only hissed once at the kitten so far today which was better than yesterday. And she seems to growl at me more than she does the kitten!

Sorry for the long story. I hope this makes sense. Is this introduction going well or not? I can't tell... Please feel free to ask for any more information if needed and all advice is much appreciated.

Thank you in advance,

ai1995   

It sounds like it is going great--if no fur is flying, I call it a win.

I intro'd 2 adult males over the majority of 2016, beginning the first week of February.  It took us 7 months before we could leave them together for any length of time--yes, 7 MONTHS.  They are now very tolerant of each other.  We DO have several slapping episodes each week, but it's a smack upside the head, and then they move on about their business.  I have a 12 year old deaf cat, and brought in a 2 year old who is a very submissive cat. 

It was probably six months before we even got to the point you are at with them in the same room, house, at the same time.  If there is no attacking, it's definitely a win.  

Hopefully Ruby will accept that the newcomer is now part of the household and not an intruder soon!  When you doubt your decision, remember my story--7 long months!

Apparently cats develop relationships slowly---more so than I ever imagined.

Thank you for your reply, it is much appreciated! I'm glad to hear that you think it is all going well! I think Ruby is just in a huff with us, but today they were chasing each other around the house and Ruby had her tail up-right in the air which I believe is a sign of happiness?! I knew it would take long, I just had no idea if we were on the right track.... Thank you again!

Sounds like they were playing!  I think you are doing fine   My two don't play together.  The younger one will play by himself with his toys or with us, and the old guy will take frisky spells and run with the zoomies all over the house, but the younger is afraid of the older when he is playing so doesn't join in--and I can't blame him, he gets rough!  And my older guy has a way of getting over-stimulated during play, and it turns ugly...I think he knows the possibilities and just sits back and watches him!

Also, I kinda got my feelings hurt--and Ruby may do this to you, just a head's up--- my old guy ALWAYS slept on the bed with us at night.  He basically would never, ever be away from us, don't know if it was from him being deaf or what.  Now he is content on the loveseat all night sleeping with his buddy, one on each side of the center console.  For years he slept with us every night all night long on the bed, now not at all.  I think part of it is that he is just no longer completely alone.  He is nowhere near as "needy" of me as he was in the past, and it kinda hurt my feelings!

Sounds like your two may be on the road to a wonderful friendship!

Thank you for that! It has calmed my worries about it a lot. They are making good progress since I last spoke with you and Ruby will only growl very quietly now! She will occasionally hiss at me and my partner, but never at the kitten anymore! And yeah, I did have my feelings hurt a little already, because Ruby seems to be more mad at me than anyone else, including the kitten!! I think she will learn to love our new addition eventually :-) Thank you again!! 

You are so welcome. And...if they growl or hiss at each other occasionally, don't worry. It was hard for me to accept, but it's not always bad. That is just part of how they communicate. Body language tells me much more than the noises they make. Ruby will teach Bella boundaries she must respect, much like a momcat, and a little growl or hiss may just mean "not right now". It sounds like you are off to a great start!!