How do forum members feel about other people feeding and treating your cat as theirs.

drakie58

TCS Member
Thread starter
Kitten
Joined
May 9, 2016
Messages
10
Purraise
2
I have been increasingly worried about my cat, who is not your normal moggy (part Ragdoll mostly white with a black left ). Over the last 3 months I seem to have been seeing him less to the point where I hardly see him. After going around my neighbours I have found out the an older woman and her husband have been feeding him and treating him like he is their cat and after talking to them for some time they seem to think the cat is theirs. To me if a strange cat is hanging around my place I don't feed them and let them in. Of course if the cat is hanging around and is obviously not being fed, but then if that is the case I do my utmost to ensure the cat does not belong to anyone. Maybe I am being dramatic, but what I feel is encouraging a cat or any other pet to the think your place is it's home is a form of theft. When talking to them they wanted to keep my cat and I quickly told them well if you want him pay me $300.00. How do other members feel. Sorry for rambling but I am pretty angry.
 

Winchester

In the kitchen with my cookies
Veteran
Joined
Aug 28, 2009
Messages
29,722
Purraise
27,990
Location
In the kitchen
Well, you're not going to like this, but here goes. Quite honestly, the cat is outdoors. People don't know if an outdoor cat belongs to anybody. If a strange cat came around here, I'd probably feed it, too, simply because I don't know if he's been dropped off by somebody or if he got lost or what was going on. 

If you really want your kitty to stay at home, keep it inside. And if you came to my house and told me the cat was yours, I'd tell you the same thing. 

In fact, over 20 years ago, I did have this same conversation with a woman in our neighborhood who left both of her cats run loose. The cats were constantly pregnant because she wouldn't spay them. They came to us and we started to feed them. The woman came over and we got into an argument about the cats. I didn't back down (nor would I now). Both cats eventually came inside our house (one got pregnant -- again -- and there was no way she or the kittens would have made it through the winter; she came into the house and she never went back out....she was perfectly content; her sister came in the following spring) and they both lived to be well over 20 years old.

If your cat isn't coming home that much, it sounds to me like it is staying exactly where it wants to stay. 
 
Last edited:

di and bob

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 12, 2012
Messages
16,547
Purraise
22,888
Location
Nebraska, USA
I think you are more angry that your cat seems to prefer their home over yours, or you would want what is best for your cat. The fact that someone loves and cares for him should make you happy. The only solution would be to not allow the cat access to the outside where anything, including death can happen. These people saw a cat that was allowed to roam, became attached and tried to bring a little happiness into his life. I feed several of the neighbors cats along with my ferals, I figure they have a house to go to but need a 'home' with someone able to give them what they are lacking, undivided attention, which older people can do because they are not busy working and making a living.  They are attached now, and your cat is obviously returning the affection, he doesn't love you less, he is just accepting theirs. If you continue to let him roam, the only solution is to let things be, or to keep him inside. When I think of the neighbors who have shot at and killed cats on their property, I think you have angels for neighbors. You have a big decision to make, I hope you make a decision based on what is best for your little one, not one out of anger. Talk to these people again, try to make them understand what you are feeling, but know they are doing what they are doing out of love not to hurt you, they had no idea. They mean something to your cat now, can you replace what they are providing so he doesn't need to go to them?  I'm so sorry what you are going through, but I am always looking for good homes for the strays I find myself with, and for your cat to have two families that love him is unreal. I hope through discussion you find a solution, good luck! 
 

Draco

NOT Malfoy!
Veteran
Joined
Apr 26, 2011
Messages
8,721
Purraise
2,780
Location
LawnGuyLand, NY
I agree with both above.

Keep your cats safe, and indoors. Not only potential well-being neighbors takign the cat in thinking it's lost or abandoned, there could be neighbors who think opposite and hurt kitty. Cars and other dangers outside as well.

If you insist on letting your cat roam, ensure he has a break-away collar on and microchip him at least.
 

muffy

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Aug 9, 2014
Messages
6,198
Purraise
12,664
Location
Fredericksburg, VA
I agree with the others. Keep your cat inside for safety. If you are letting your cat outside you can't really complain what other people do to them.  
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #6

drakie58

TCS Member
Thread starter
Kitten
Joined
May 9, 2016
Messages
10
Purraise
2
I am sorry but where I lived all the neighbours cats roam. And all apart from the couple in question have enough respect not to encourage other peoples pets are exactly that other peoples, and just because a cat is roaming doesn't mean it is a stray. I have tried to keep him inside but he is out the door as quick as anything. I have other peoples cats wanting to feed at my place and I am quick to chase them away. All my neighbours agree to do what this couple is in some ways a form of theft. By the way I have always thought  a cats natural instinct is to roam. Basically until you can positively prove a cat or a dog does not belong to anybody you do not encourage it into your home. All I know is I am very upset that someone can disrespect the fact that the cat is mine and think they can own him without me consenting to it. I am sorry but I don't agree with any of you but then I am from New Zealand and things are different here as you will find 90% of cats owners let their cats roam with the exception of breeds that are susceptible to catnapping or Pure Ragdolls as they have poor defence mechanisms. I am sorry if this offends anyone.
 

ReallySleepy

TCS Member
Adult Cat
Joined
Nov 6, 2016
Messages
152
Purraise
184
Location
near Oslo, Norway
I side with the OP here. I suppose some of you live in areas where owned cats are kept indoors so that any outdoor cat you meet is likely a stray. Where I live, almost all owned cats are outdoors much of the time. In that situation, you simply don't feed any cat you meet, because it probably belongs to someone else. The exception is if the cat downright begs for food, in which case you should adopt it or pass it to a shelter (after you have looked for chips or tattoos, of course).

As I understand the situation, the neighbors continue to feed the cat even after the OP has told them not to. This is simply gross, whatever you think about the indoor/outdoor issue.
 

DreamerRose

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 11, 2015
Messages
8,743
Purraise
11,082
Location
Naperville, IL
I agree with the OP, too. People should not feed outdoor cats, especially if they know for a fact that someone owns them. As a child, we lost one of our kitties to a car when the neighbors across the street were feeding her. She was a nursing mom with four kittens.

That said, if you kept your cat inside, the other couple wouldn't be able to feed him, and he would be safe from predators and accidents. The days of horse and buggies and slow-moving cars are gone.
 

Kieka

Snowshoe Servant
Staff Member
Forum Helper
Joined
Sep 6, 2016
Messages
11,378
Purraise
19,890
Location
Southern California
I think people should respect that not all outdoor cats are stray. That said, I make sure my indoor/outdoor cats have collars so people can tell at a glance that they have a home. Our neighbors around us know that they are our cats. One neighbor started feeding Link and I commented he was getting sick from it and she promptly stopped. I gave her a small container of treats she can give him but told her he is on a strict diet so please don't do more than 3 a day and shes abided by it.

It honestly scares me when some posters talk about taking in outdoor cats they know are owned for "their own good". I fully understand the idea. One neighbor had frequently pregnant females and I was tempted. BUT, they aren't my cats and I know that. That neighbor didn't want to spay the cats despite my repeated offers to do it myself. I did what I could but forcing the issue crosses a line. If the cats were being abused or not fed; then call animal control and adopt them legally. But as much as I agree with most people on here that spaying and neutering is right, it isn't a legal requirment (at least here) and there isn't a law being broken by not. The cat was fed she just was frequently pregnant. If I didn't know the cat had an owner? Thats one thing. But knowing and purposefully doing something against the owners wish just because I disagree with them?

To just feel you have the right to impose your viewpoints on others for their own good? Are we back in colonial times where we force people to what we feel is right from our standpoint on some moral high? What's next? Degrading people who can't afford a grain free diet? Stealing pets from someone who doesn't do raw diets? My educational background is in anthropology, which may be why that "I know whats best for someone else" viewpoint scares me so much.

If the animal is legit abused, underfed, parasites, untreated injuries, etc, then call animal control and report it. If it is against the law in your area to have unaltered or loose animals, then call animal control. But if it's not against the law then its not your right to decide to step in and steal someone elses property because you disagree with its situation. As much as I hate to say it, our cats are our property by law (at least here). I am not trying to start an argument or place judgement on someone. But honestly, I have heard enough stories on this site of people knowingly taking in cats who have homes because they disagree with some aspect of the owners care. In each case the person seems to take some ambiguous moral high ground with no care for how the original owners felt. If you are going to do that don't sugar coat it and don't justify it. You are stealing a cat for your own benefit, end of story.

Obviously I have no problem with allowing cats outdoors. I understand the argument that they can get in trouble outside. But for me in my situation it is worth it for our family and our cats. I feel that any obviously or known owned cat should be left alone by others. You don't steal plants out of people's yards, you don't mess with your neighbors cars, the cats aren't any different. If you like your neighbors cat talk to the neighbor and ask boundaries. I don't mind people petting and playing with mine but because I closely monitor their diets I don't want them fed and my neighbors respect that.
 
Last edited:

Willowy

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 1, 2009
Messages
31,885
Purraise
28,283
Location
South Dakota
Here's the thing: in the US, in most places anyway, people are legally obligated to keep their animals on their own property. If someone threw their lawn chair into your yard, the laws determining what you do with it are a little different than if you go onto their property and take it. I mean, cats aren't the same as lawn chairs but in the US they are considered property. And you can't let your property inconvenience other people without consequences. In this state it is fully legal to kill any animal that comes onto your property. If your animal leaves your property, you have no control over what happens to it. If all your neighbors do is feed your cat, you should be happy.
 

Kieka

Snowshoe Servant
Staff Member
Forum Helper
Joined
Sep 6, 2016
Messages
11,378
Purraise
19,890
Location
Southern California
I live in Southern California, Riverside County which is a large county to be specific. The laws here specifically say, that cats are exempt from roaming laws and that animals trespassing on someone elses property can be caught and turned over to the shelter. No killing of any creature who crosses your path or restrictions on cats roaming here. Obviously each person should check there own local laws but its wrong that most allow killing or prevent roaming of cats.




If you actually read most laws (I checked the counties around me too) they either exclude cats or only specifically refrence dogs when it comes to roaming laws and requirements to keep confined to property. The allowing to kill on pets on your property is usually applied only to dogs specifically that are attacking livestock or humans and frequently has a clause that dogs attacking or chasing a cat or dog doesn't allow for killing said dog. Obviously its hard to prove the dog was attacking or harrassing so it does become very much dog on property if its not wanted it could be killed. However, it is generally ONLY rural areas that have those provisions to protect livestock and, again, it is specifically stated that dogs may be killed not cats. Even when it does occuring there are usually reporting requirments to apply some control so people aren't going dog killing crazy. Most urban areas do not allow killing dogs or cats for coming on your property and, like mine, require humane capturing and calling animal control (unless human or another animal life is in danger). Obviously I didn't check everywhere and am not an expert. But I did do some general searching before posting instead of assuming and that is what I found and several sites agree upon.

As I said, check your local laws before you make statements or decisions. Just because my county allows cats to roam won't mean yours does. Also please refrain from making blanket statements that someone is lucky their cat isn't shot without knowing where the person is and local laws. Here, someone shooting a cat for being on their property would get animal cruelty charges along with a civil lawsuit for vet costs from the cats owner (or loss of property) and yes that did happen here within the last few years.
 
Last edited:

di and bob

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 12, 2012
Messages
16,547
Purraise
22,888
Location
Nebraska, USA
People who hate cats would not hesitate to shoot or otherwise kill one, law or not. Unless you actually SEE it with your own eyes, not hear it, or find the results and speculate how it happened, they would get away with it too. I have experienced this more than once in my life. Criminals and animal abusers follow no law but their own. I allow a few of my cats to roam, they were born feral and despite trying to keep them inside they are happiest outside. I bury many of them. You have to take the responsibility of accepting something happening beyond your control when you allow a cat to roam. Put a tear away collar on your cat and let it roam like everyone does, I'm glad for your sake that everyone must spay and neuter and vaccinate too, or your neighborhood would be so full of cats fighting, spraying, and spreading disease to each other it would be horrible. I keep most of my beloved little ones in the house or outside under my supervision. I am old enough and went through enough not to follow what everyone else does. I do what I feel is best for those under my care. The reason most of us are so adamant on keeping our cats indoors is because we know by experience what can happen and the heartache it brings. Don't be upset because a neighbor is showing love, once your cat is off your property and out of your control, you are taking a chance that what happens next will allow that cat to come home again, many things happen that sooner or later take that take the odds out of your favor.        
 

Winchester

In the kitchen with my cookies
Veteran
Joined
Aug 28, 2009
Messages
29,722
Purraise
27,990
Location
In the kitchen
The bottom line is that people who let their cats roam freely don't care that their cats are using their neighbors' gardens as litter boxes or that their cats are going onto private property. We had neighbors who actually said they were going to start putting poison around their yard because of the cats getting into their gardens. I asked the woman to please wait until we got one of the cats inside before she did anything and, thankfully, she did wait until we got Bootser in the house.

My stance is that if you're going to allow your cat to roam, then you're willing to take any consequence of letting the cat roam. It's really that simple.
 

Kat0121

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Feb 23, 2014
Messages
15,030
Purraise
20,342
Location
Sunny Florida
 
Well, you're not going to like this, but here goes. Quite honestly, the cat is outdoors. People don't know if an outdoor cat belongs to anybody. If a strange cat came around here, I'd probably feed it, too, simply because I don't know if he's been dropped off by somebody or if he got lost or what was going on. 

If you really want your kitty to stay at home, keep it inside. And if you came to my house and told me the cat was yours, I'd tell you the same thing. 

In fact, over 20 years ago, I did have this same conversation with a woman in our neighborhood who left both of her cats run loose. The cats were constantly pregnant because she wouldn't spay them. They came to us and we started to feed them. The woman came over and we got into an argument about the cats. I didn't back down (nor would I now). Both cats eventually came inside our house (one got pregnant -- again -- and there was no way she or the kittens would have made it through the winter; she came into the house and she never went back out....she was perfectly content; her sister came in the following spring) and they both lived to be well over 20 years old.

If your cat isn't coming home that much, it sounds to me like it is staying exactly where it wants to stay. 
You took the words right off my fingertips. 


The only way anyone would be able to feed or care for my cats would be if they broke into the house. My cats are not allowed outside and they never will be. It's too dangerous out there. 
 

blueyedgirl5946

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Sep 10, 2005
Messages
14,593
Purraise
1,695
If a cat came in my yard, I would feed it. You have received some good advice. Having an outside cat means you have all the consequences that go with it. :nod:
 

sivyaleah

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Dec 16, 2011
Messages
6,255
Purraise
5,213
Location
New Jersey
<snip> My stance is that if you're going to allow your cat to roam, then you're willing to take any consequence of letting the cat roam. It's really that simple.
This. Totally.

Personally, I don't feed strays as there are too many in my immediate neighborhood and, my two (house cats!) get incredibly annoyed when other cats roam through our property.  We even had Cocoa slash Casper's eye early this year in a case of redirected aggression.  Got his cornea scratched pretty severely but thankfully, after the vet took care of it, all was well afterwards.

One of my next door neighbor's cats also tried to claw his way into an open window which had a screen in it.  Tore it up.  Good thing we were in the room to see what happened.  We begged them to keep him inside and they did for a while (and paid for the repairs) but he's been out and around again.  

I do understand there are areas where people let cats out because they feel it's safe to do so, but truly, no place is safe.  There are too many dangers outside and when one complains that the cat keeps getting out or is unhappy being indoors, frankly it's because you haven't properly trained them or even gotten them spayed/neutered so the need to roam is minimal if at all.  Between cars, poisons (intentional and non-intentional), disease, infestations, etc. the risk is not worth taking.  
 

mollyblue

TCS Member
Super Cat
Joined
Jul 28, 2015
Messages
803
Purraise
168
If a cat is always hanging around at my place wanting food and affection I am going to consider it my cat.  Be glad it found a good home instead of being hit by a car, shot by a jerk, picked up by animal control as a nuisance animal ... all kinds of bad things happen to cats that roam.  That's why the lifespan of an outdoor kitty is so much shorter than that of an indoor kitty. 

I get that things may be different in different neighborhoods, let alone different countries.... but it seems if its a New Zealand thing that your neighbors, who also live in New Zealand, should know how it is there.  That being said, perhaps the way you were raised, animals just got to roam at will but times have changed. 
 

Primula

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Sep 1, 2010
Messages
6,838
Purraise
533
Location
Connecticut, USA
I quickly told them well if you want him pay me $300.00. How do other members feel. Sorry for rambling but I am pretty angry.
I'm confused. You let your cat outside & are angry that someone else is feeding him. But, on the other hand, you are willing to sell your cat to these people.
 

Kat0121

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Feb 23, 2014
Messages
15,030
Purraise
20,342
Location
Sunny Florida
I'm confused. You let your cat outside & are angry that someone else is feeding him. But, on the other hand, you are willing to sell your cat to these people.
Yes. I am confused as well. The fact that you put a price tag on your cat tells me that you aren't really that attached to him. Perhaps he is picking up on that and is seeking out someone who will be. My cats are like my children and I wouldn't sell them any sooner than I'd sell my human DD which obviously would be NEVER. 
 

Primula

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Sep 1, 2010
Messages
6,838
Purraise
533
Location
Connecticut, USA
Yes. I am confused as well. The fact that you put a price tag on your cat tells me that you aren't really that attached to him. Perhaps he is picking up on that and is seeking out someone who will be. My cats are like my children and I wouldn't sell them any sooner than I'd sell my human DD which obviously would be NEVER. 
I listed my husband on Craigslist, but had no takers.
 
Top