I think I broke my kitty....

Hi guys....

My name is dylan, and my baby's name is Ari.

I was in a 6 year relationship that led to an engagement, her cheating, and to the eventual break up. After the break up i had a friend who's cat got pregnant and she needed homes for the kittens. I had been already considering getting a cat, so i went to my friend's place to see thw kittens and was immediatley in love.
As soon as Ari came homr with me I knew she was exactly what i wanted in a cat. Ari took to me instantly and we were as close as possible. Ari slept with me, sat with me and followed me around. At a time i needed her Ari was the perfect sweetheart. She pawed at my beard, she followed my routine, every day i can home from work she was sitting there waiting for me, and best of all when i watched tv her tiny body curled up perfectly in my lap.
Then i met a girl..... everything was good. She had a cat and brought it over and Ari was fine. She got a rabbit...... whatever, her choice, broight it over and Ari was fine. Eventually talk of movong in together came up and i agreed. As time rolled on leading to the move in she got another cat! I wasnt so happy, her first cat was old and probably doesnt have alot of time left so i figured it wouldnt be long before it was just Ari again (and the rabbit).
So now the move is done and my only real concern about moving in at all came true. I was worried the move would change my cat and id essentially loose her. I asked people and they kept saying shed be fine, but in my mind i couldnt let the worry go. I love my cat and she has meant the world to me. Now Ari is distant, doesnt cuddle with me, walks away when i touch her. She does sleep in bed wih me but thats about it.

My question is..... will i get my love back? Did i screw up? I know everyone (especiallly females) reacts that im almst suggesting idpick my cat over a girl but i can say that isnt true. We had a gopd thing going on. And i swear my anxoety anout loosing my cat isnt really a projection of my doubt about the relationship. I work midnights and when i got home the first few days after the move i cried my eyes out wishing Ari would come back to me.

I just need any advice or information.... even if i made a horroble mistake and someone wasnts to verbally beat me down its fine..... i need to know whats up.

Thanks alot
Dylan

First of all, don't beat yourself up. This isn't your fault. Female cats tend to react worse to the addition of new cats in their territory (in my experience at least). It is much easier to introduce a kitten to older cats (but even in this case, the older cat's personality might change a little).

This also might be a scent issue. Does the new cat cuddle with you? Do you pet the new cat a lot? If so, you may be covered with the new cat's scent and Ari probably doesn't like that.

Give her time to adjust and she will come around again. She just needs to get used to having the scent of another cat in the house. She'll come back around eventually, don't worry

do you spend time with ari away from the other animals, calm time where you can just hang out if the cat doesn't want to cuddle? 

Hi, and welcome to TCS

raina21 is right - Ari is just having trouble adjusting to her new home, and not being an 'only cat' anymore. Give her time, patience and love and she'll come around Daily interactive playtime will help too, as it will help her de-stress, reinforce your bond and help her lay her gain confidence in her new home. Getting some Feliway diffusers can't hurt either - they can be a wonderful tool for helping cats to settle and deal with lifestyle changes. [article="32680"][/article][article="32804"][/article][article="30307"][/article][article="30316"][/article][article="32758"][/article][article="29675"][/article][article="32656"][/article]

You have NOT 'broken' your cat. Stop beating yourself up now - you have no reason to (and there's NOTHING wrong with a man who loves cats, btw. There are a fair number of male members here, so you're in good company ). Just take a deep breath, stay calm, and accept that there'll be an adjustment period for everyone. You're doing fine