Having trouble introducing new kitten to old cat

SO and I have a 5 year old cat, call her Oldie. We live in a 2BR apartment.

We just adopted a 3 month old call, call him Newbie. Right now we have Newbie in one of the bathrooms, all to himself. He has his own litter box, food bowls, water, bed, etc.

However, Oldie is freaking out. Any time Newbie mews, Oldie hears it and is immediately set on-edge, and she starts hissing and growling. Or if Oldie comes up to the door and picks up his scent, again, hissing, growling, etc.

Right now we are trying the food-bowls-on-both-sides-of-the-door thing but Oldie still hisses. We bring the bowls back a little, she still hisses. Or she'll avoid the bowls, walk up to the door, and hiss. Or she'll refuse to eat and only come back later (whereas we'd really prefer to feel the two at the same time). Newbie eats whatever we give him at the moment we give it to him.

We tried site-swapping (putting Oldie in the bathroom and Newbie in the rest of the apartment) for a little bit. It was a pain getting Oldie to come to the bathroom when she was hissing the whole way in -- we feared she'd attack us. We finally got her in and she was just growling and hissing all the time. She did calm down eventually but still occasionally hissed.

Took a blanket from the bed Newbie is sleeping it -- moved it over to Oldie's bed in the living room. Oldie walks up to it, sniff sniff sniff sniff x1000, walks away.

How can I get Oldie to just chill out? This new kitten is no threat to her. Why can't she see this? How do I get her to calm down?

It sounds like you are doing all the right things. Make sure to give Oldie lots of love and attention. She'll come around.

Is she spayed?

Oldie is spayed, yes. Newbie hasn't been neutered yet but we will when we get the chance.

Just tried feeding them both at the same time this morning, with Oldie's bowl like 5 feet away from the door. Hiss, growl, etc. Walked away from her food.

I'm frustrated.

Would it be a mistake to switch to open door + gates currently, so that at least they can see each other? I worry that Oldie is growling because she can't see Newbie and can only assume it's a foreign animal who may or may not be a threat. She's constantly put on edge whenever she smells him.

How long has it been, that you are doing the 'scent swapping'?

Have you also read this Article, from this Site, about 'cat to cat introductions'.

It's very helpful, and may give some further ideas.

 [article="32680"]How To Successfully Introduce Cats The Ultimate Guide​[/article]  

a

We've had the kitten for 3 days now. Started scent swapping on day 2.

Oh, you need to give it much more time. Don't start sight exposure yet. Go at Oldie's pace.

To clarify, we have not done sight exposure yet. Just scent swapping (putting a towel Newbie slept on under Oldie's food dish), etc.

CatMadNeedHelp said:

To clarify, we have not done sight exposure yet. Just scent swapping (putting a towel Newbie slept on under Oldie's food dish), etc.

Click to expand...

Right, but you asked if you should switch to open door and gate. I would wait.

Ah I misread. How long should I wait to start scent swapping? Site swapping?

talkingpeanut said:

Oh, you need to give it much more time. Don't start sight exposure yet. Go at Oldie's pace.

Click to expand...

   Definitely agree with @talkingpeanut here.

If you go too quickly, and rush the cat-intro's before Oldie is ready to meet the newcomer, then you risk having Oldie becoming too upset, and having to go back a few steps, or beginning again.

That's why taking your cues from Oldie, of when to move on to the next step, is very wise.

CatMadNeedHelp said:

 
Would it be a mistake to switch to open door + gates currently, so that at least they can see each other? I worry that Oldie is growling because she can't see Newbie and can only assume it's a foreign animal who may or may not be a threat. She's constantly put on edge whenever she smells him.

Click to expand...

The whole idea of 'cat-to-cat' introductions is to reduce the 'fight or flight' response in our cats.

By doing the steps slowly, and in a logical order of using the cat's senses, then this reduces their fear reactions. You're first using Hearing, then Scent, then Vision, and applying tasty food, play, or treats to make positive associations for the cats to experience, to lessen their fear.

I do understand the wanting to 'let them see each other' in hopes of lessening Oldie's response to the newcomer being a threat, but it is much better to take each step, and give it minimally a week, or longer, if Oldie is still reacting to the newcomer's scent, in a negative way.

Think of it, as getting Oldie to feeling so bored by the newcomer's scent, that when they finally do meet, the reaction will be minimum, or just a 'hey, I've smelled you around, and you're no threat' sort of deal.

You are doing all the right steps, though, as talkingpeanut, already mentioned.

It just takes a little long, to get some cats more comfortable.

CatMadNeedHelp said:

Ah I misread. How long should I wait to start scent swapping? Site swapping?

Click to expand...

I had another question.

Did Oldie have her litter box in the bathroom before?

And can you change Newbie, to be in one of the bedrooms? versus staying in the bathroom.

In this way, since Oldie sees you always going into the bathroom, she may find it harder to accept the Newbie.

Plus bathrooms might have different types of scents in them that might affect how a cat reacts.

The second bedroom might be much easier to swap places with when you do the 'site swapping' with both cats, when you reach that stage.

Try to do each step for about a week, or more, according to how Oldie reacts.

No, Oldie has always had her box in the same place next to the washing machine, which is also just outside the bathroom door. She seems to be able to use it without complication.

I could use the second bedroom technically, yes. It has gym equipment so I may have to put some stuff away for safety purposes. Living room connects to both bathroom and gym, and there is a door connecting gym and bathroom, so we've been using gym room as intermediary when site swapping

CatMadNeedHelp said:

No, Oldie has always had her box in the same place next to the washing machine, which is also just outside the bathroom door. She seems to be able to use it without complication.

I could use the second bedroom technically, yes. It has gym equipment so I may have to put some stuff away for safety purposes. Living room connects to both bathroom and gym, and there is a door connecting gym and bathroom, so we've been using gym room as intermediary when site swapping

Click to expand...

Oh, then my theory of Oldie wanting access to the bathroom, just went out the window, since she's always had her litterbox elsewhere.

No, you don't have to do all that moving of gym equipment, and all. I just thought, it would be easier Newbie, to have his own room.

And then swapping rooms, eventually, when Oldie is ready, since you mentioned that she does not like hanging in the bathroom.

(Another trick for introductions, that you can try, is placing a stuffed toy, with Newbie's scent in your cat carrier, and leaving it out, for Oldie to smell it.

Watch her reactions, and see if there is any hostility.)

And you probably already know about the rubbing a clean sock on one cat, and leaving it out for the other cat to smell.

You can do this with cat beds, cat blankets, etc, too.

Your idea of putting a towel, that Newbie slept on, under Oldie's food dish is interesting.

How did that go? Hopefully, Oldie ate her food.

Yes, Oldie ate her food, but usually just taking a bite or two and walking away.

Will have to try the sock thing.

We also just bought a Feliway plug in to put in the living room.

Oh, Oldie not eating regularly, is not good.

You might have to introduce Newbie's scent only when Oldie is not eating, then. You don't want to stress Oldie.

Try doing scent introductions, after playing with Oldie, or after she is very relaxed.

Perhaps after eating is better. Moving bowls closer to the doors, works, but only if Oldie is able to eat, in a relaxed manner.

Hopefully, the Feliway will also work to calm Oldie down.

Some members have mentioned using Composure Treats, to calm cats, as well. I have not tried them, though.

Good news is no hissing today. Going to move the bowls back a smidge.

Whenever Newbie mews, we immediately try to distract Oldie with toys before she has a chance to growl and hiss.

CatMadNeedHelp said:

Good news is no hissing today. Going to move the bowls back a smidge.

Whenever Newbie mews, we immediately try to distract Oldie with toys before she has a chance to growl and hiss.

Click to expand...

That is excellent news.

You know what I was thinking...Growling is not great, you don't want that strong of a reaction,...but hissing is not so bad.

Oldie is just expressing her feelings about having Newbie in her territory.

But if each day lessens in Oldie's reactions, then that is a very good sign.

Since Newbie is only 3 months old, you will have to start teaching him, about not biting hands, feet, etc, while you play with him.

And you have to play with him, often.

Using toys as distractions for him, will also work, when he wants to bite you.

Don't let him bite your hands or gnaw on them, so that he learns 'bite inhibition' right from the start.

Does Oldie have any reaction to you, or your SO, after you have been holding Newbie?

Does the smell of Newbie on your clothes, bother Oldie at all?