When your cat's time is coming...

Hi. I need some advice please. My cat had low-grade lymphoma (was doing very well until recently) which was just upgraded to high-grade lymphoma. The prognosis is not good, and I know what is inevitably going to happen. It is not a question of IF, but WHEN. That time can be anywhere from a week or so to possibly a year (best case). I am trying the more intensive IV chemo option, but it the chance of it working are slight.

I have dealt with death of cats in the past, one from illness and one from old age. My question is: how do I deal with this, knowing that I am going to lose her - but not knowing when??

I don't truly believe I can make this any easier on myself. It is going to hurt, and it is going to hurt a lot. While I am thankful for every day to still be with her,  I will not let her suffer. I absolutely do not want that at all.

I am asking the Cat Community how you handled it (or maybe you are going through a similar thing now) knowing your cat or other pet was approaching "that time." 

Any words of wisdom, or even comforting words, would be great!! Thank you all. 

I'm sorry to hear your baby is so ill. I have to admit that I don't have words of wisdom for such a heartbreaking situation but I wanted to share with you a wonderful post by a fellow TCS member that I hope brings you some comfort and wisdom to reflect in:

http://www.thecatsite.com/t/237066/when-the-moment-comes

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I am so sorry that you are going through this. Please know you are with fellow cat lovers who know just how special our furry family members are. Reach out to us when ever you need to. Sending your kitty and you healing vibes   What is the sweet girls name?

Even though we know the end is coming, no matter how much we 'prepare' ourselves, it is still a terrific blow to the heart when the inevitable happens. In one way it is comforting to use this time to lavish on extra love and attention, but 'IT" is always in the back of our minds. Every living thing will die, it is life's order. Our own mortality rears it's ugly head when we experience something like this, and to lose something we love so much, and that is so precious to us, is overwhelming and inconceivable. I pray that you receive comfort knowing you are giving that sweet baby what she wants and she needs the most in this world, a home and your love. It IS that simple to a cat, those two things are the number one priorities in their lives, and are everything they ever want. You have given her what she most needs and wants. To have you giving her comfort now is the most important thing you could offer her at this stage of her life.

She would never want you to be so sad  when she goes, she only wants the best for the one she loves above all else. Just as you would want if you left first. In the time you have left, celebrate having her in your life, and know the bond you have formed with your love will continue until the day you leave this earth, nothing can take it away from you, not even death, because it is spiritual, not physical, and is eternal. My heart goes out to you, I'll pray for you both. Surround yourself with those who understand, and hold on to that little girl for as long as you are able. Take care.......      

1) A friend of mine had a very large, 11 year old golden retriever who had cancer.  Two vets told him euthanasia was his only route.  One other vet said chemo could help but it wasn't a guarantee.  After chemo the dog lived to age 14.

2) I had a cat with incurable heart disease.  The vets told me euthanasia.  I chose to put him on cardiac meds and he lived another 16 months.  Unfortunately, the last two days I tried to hold on too long and should have euthanized him after having his lungs drained of fluid when it had become apparent the medications were no longer having an effect as his heart had deteriorated too much.  Instead, a day later he began to deteriorate again, and it wasn't until the following day that he could be euthanized.  By that time I know he was suffering -- he just laid there under a sofa, soooo sad and forlorn, barely able to move, and I knew that even though I was *killing* him via drugs he was going to die anyway -- except it would be in a very painful manner.  I wish I had done it a day earlier but it was so hard to do that -- he was the first cat I had to euthanize.

3) Two and a half years ago, and the reason I joined this site, I accidentally killed (or at least played a role in killing) my cat Back.  I have still not forgiven myself.  I can tell you, without reservation, that intentionally ending your pet's life when you KNOW it is going to end imminently -- and painfully -- is the right thing to do, as I don't in any way feel guilty about euthanizing the cat that had heart disease (except for waiting a day too long).  The issue is helping your friend live as long as possible, even if it is uncomfortable, but avoiding real suffering when there is no hope of recovery.

I am facing the same situation. One minute my cat is healthy and playing nect thing l know she has a rare tumor on her adrenal gland and heart disease. Our time together is just about over but l cannot let go. I know whats right but l cannot pull myself to take her to put her down. I know her quality of life right now isnt good and l cant be selfish but l want to hang onto every bit of her for as long as l can. My life will be so lonely without her in it. She is the sweetest most affectionate laid back girl. All this too right before the holidays

When I learned my Milo had oral squamous cell carcinoma, I faced the same waiting period you face.  Of course I spent as much time with him as I could and gave him all the love and attention he could ever want.    I also found it helped enormously to write obsessively about him and what I was feeling.  Most of that was capturing memories and describing him - his beautiful ginger coat and his loving, mischievous personality.  I also took a lot of photographs but it was the writing that really helped.   The odd thing was that after he passed, 11 days after being diagnosed, going back and reading what I'd written gave me a lot of comfort.  It helped me hold on to the connection we'd had - helped me experience again what it was like to have him with me.  

When Milo could no longer eat and was having problems walking, I made the decision to end his suffering.   It was one of the most difficult and painful decisions I've ever made but he was my baby and depended on me to keep him from hurting.