Do cats need leader? (just got bit)

pixies ma

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This is what just happened. 
Minou (a 4yo feral who seems to trust me and that i'm slowly introducing to me home of one semi-feral 1 yo) started out the day as usual, rubbing himself on my outside and laying on my lap when i went out to give him his breakfast. Fast forward a couple hours, he comes back, eats the boiled chicken and rice i made him (he currently has diarrhea, stool test came back clean), i put my cat in my bedroom and let Minou in for his twice daily inside session\scent swapping. 
I was doing some cleaning in the kitchen and he stuck around me, eating some more, rubbing on me, playin with the cat tree, talking to me, etc. He was on the kitchen table and i presented my hand to pet him like i do a thousand times, and he bit me. He has 'warned' me in the past when i touched whatever no-no area at the time, but it has been about 6 weeks since he slapped me last. Never has he bitten me head on like that. I said 'Ouch! No!' and he rolled himself on his back, got back up, seemed uneasy, stopped talking, went to the cat tree, murdered a toy.
Not sure if it was play aggression or he didn't like my hand smelling of dish detergent. He didn't hurt me cause my finger ended up between his two fangs, but i felt that his bite was hard.
So now i have lost trust in him and felt afraid of him. If he was in my path as i tried to move around, i would stop and wait till he 'let me' pass in fear of him attacking my legs.
I wanted him outside and went on the balcony, but he wouldnt follow me. He stuck on the cat tree, high up, looking at me, wagging the tip of his tail.
I eventually got him to come out with treats, but he jumped right back indoors. I have never tried picking him up so the option of pysically remove him is not there.
He came out again with treats and i was able to pet him but (and maybe i'm seeing this with fear tinted glasses) he seemed a bit grumpy and uneasy. Perhaps its cause i yelled at him when he bit me, i dont know.
So, thinking back on how i reacted, him being high up on things, getting in my way, and my being afraid of him...it's pathetic. He's a 12 pound creature. This is my home. 

Was i totally being owned by this cat? I know this is how it works with dogs, but do cats need leaders? Will he take advantage if he senses i am afraid of him?
 

basscat

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When your cat wraps it front claws around your arm, extends it's back claws and starts kicking your arm, and has it's teeth buried to the bone in your hand or arm and WILL NOT let go.   AND, You don't know why?
That's when you no longer trust them.  And it will take awhile before you get over that, and even then....you'll watch closer, maybe forever.

But, what you described sounds like a little bit of orneriness or rambunctiousness that is typical of any cat from time to time. (some more than others). 
Unless he starts making a habit out of it, I wouldn't worry about it too much.
Approach with a bit of caution for the next few days.
 
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pixies ma

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Thanks for your reply.

Geezus, i really don't want it to get to that terrifying point. I'm also afraid for my cat, who is play aggressive with me but in a way that doesn't hurt me and i can always tell when she will 'attack'. I can't tell with this one. I find him so hard to read. By the way, he is FIV pos so him not getting in fights with her is important. They have never been in direct contact yet and i feel like we are taking steps back today.

I was just outside on my balcony and he was nowhere in sight so i called him. Sure enough he popped up and ran up the stairs to see me. We did the whole rubbing thing but...i don't know...he just seems on edge. At some point, he turned semi-quickly to look at my hand and i had the sense he wanted to jump on me (i was kneeling down). I stood up, encouraged him to go on the chair but he was moving around me in a weird way. He eventually went up to the chair and i petted him a bit before quickly going inside without him jumping over the barrier to come in too. 

It's so weird. He's half the cat he has been the past month (affectionate and trusting) and half the feral i first met (on edge)

But do cats seek to 'own' humans? Is it all hierarchy like with dogs?
 

basscat

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Hands are toys. They MOVE!  
You should semi-trust him.  But, keep in mind hands and fingers are prey.  And never move your hand away from him AND toward your face thinking you might be blocking a face pounce.
If he's fixated on hand movement, always move them away from your body, and keep them waist high.   If he pounces, move hand away, just not UP and not toward your body.
 
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pixies ma

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I think i got this down from experience with my own cat. She taught me well.
This one however has never shown play aggression with my hands or feet. I always knew him as calm and a bottomless pit for affection once he got to trust me. The other times he bit\slapped me was a while ago when i was just beginning to pet him and not only letting him pet himself on me.
I just let him in again and something is not right. He was fine at first, eating and rubbing and all the usual niceness. But then i had the idea of making him play\chase to get rid of any pent up energy which went ok. But at some point he lost interest in the toy and came towards me and i could swear he was going for my ankles. I mean he was looking at both of my ankles gravely and walking in a 'confident' manner towards them. I diverted his attention with another toy and treats and lead him back to the kitchen so i could take him outside cause he was freaking me out. Like before, it was hard to keep him away long enough for me to put his bowls and litter box back out and put the barrier up. He then jumped over the barrier and i had time to close the door just in time. I went back 5 minutes later to pet his head to end on a positive note and it was ok apart from the eagerness to come back inside.
It is so odd! I mean, he likes coming inside but he is extra eager today. Top that with his sudden aggression that might or might not be play and i've got a disappointing and scary situation on my hands.
I'm thinking of NOT bringing him back inside ever again and letting go of my goal to have him live mostly inside with my cat and i. I've been doing excercices with introductions with my other cat through doors and scent swapping (Jackson Galaxy style), had my cat vaccinated against FeLV, spent money on a huge cat tree and shelving, spent lots of time and money on this, made a shelter, etc... All this only to keep him outside in our horrid winters?
Something is not right with this cat today!
I'm wondering if there is an ailement that causes behavior changes and diarrhea. Maybe the two are linked.
 
 
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