It is time for Grizzly to get a new sibling.. Or isn't it?

grizzlysapien

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Hello Catsiters!

I've had Grizzly for 2 years and 5 months. He's almost 2.5 years old. I would generally describe him as a very active little guy, intelligent, not-your-standard-cuddle kitty, affectionate, perceptive, very playful, lively and bites a whole lot, to show he loves us, or during playtime.. Yeah, that last one is very irritating. We've managed to keep it under control but there are periods of time that he exhibits this behavior more vividly. But overall he is very well-mannered, I must say!

He is a rescue cat, he didn't have the chance to spend much time with his mom and siblings, because his mom was poisoned and the people who rescued the litter, had to find homes immediately for the little ones. So, we got him when he was just 15-17 days old..

Last summer he attacked my mother, so badly, I had to rush her to the hospital to take care of her wounds (some of you might remember the story - those of you who don't, you can look it up on my profile, if you like). After a large period of time and with the help of an animal behaviorist, we overcame this whole problem with flying colors. I must note that at the time of the attack, he was not yet neutered. After this whole incident and his neutering, Grizzly "grew up" in a way. He became more obedient, easy-going etc, but up to a point. I mean, his personality didn't change, but it was improved.

During this whole time, I was unemployed so I was mainly at home. He is used to having me around all the time. He does not like being alone for too long. He doesn't cause any trouble when he's alone, but he makes sure we know he doesn't like it. He gets more vocal, or he sits in front of us but with his butt towards us (LOL) etc. Subtle punishments, in a way! 
 ​
I talked to her foster mom and she was also rescued when she was days old and has been in a home since then. Now she's almost 2 months old. She's litter-trained and generally trained to live in a home.

Apart from all of that, I do still have my doubts and I am concerned..
  • The behaviorist had told me that Grizzly might not accept a 2nd cat in our home.. But he said that last summer, when we were still on the process of "re-training" him.. Nevertheless, I do have to take it under consideration.
  • I read somewhere that cats that exhibit a "dominating" behavior (like Grizzly), accept a young kitten more easily than another cat that is similar to them - in terms of age and general demeanor
  • Would a female kitten and later a female adult cat, cause problems living with a resident adult male cat? I read an article which stated that the Male/Male combination is easier to Male/Female combination.
  • Is it a stupid move of mine to try and bring a newcomer, on top of the ongoing changes? I mean the biggest change for him is that I won't be around that much.. So, on top of that, bringing a newcomer might make things actually worse, instead of softening the blow? 
  • Would it be wiser if I waited a bit longer, hire an employee, so I can at least be at home for a number of hours, in order to properly introduce them?
I would really appreciate your input, based on your own experience. I have read TONS of research and articles regarding this matter and I also intend on following the general rules of introducing a resident cat to a newcomer. 

Any comments, thoughts, concerns etc are more than welcome!

Thanks in advance! 
 

Columbine

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SO pleased to hear that Grizzly is a reformed character now :D :high5::lol3:

Whether to get a companion now or whether to wait is a hard call, and I could argue it both ways. I think that, unless your mum is prepared to do a LOT of helping out in the early stages, waiting might be best. After all, Grizzly is going to be very unsettled by all the changes in your lifestyle, without the added stress of adding another cat into the mix ;)

I'm not convinced that another bottle baby is the best choice either, as that means that neither cat will have great feline communication skills. However, if this kitten has been raised in a multicat household, I'd think differently :)

If it were me, I'd look for a confident, easygoing adult, as Grizzly could end up really spooking a kitten, simply by boundless over enthusiasm (thinking here of losna losna 's experience with Sinbad,Tempest and Bêlit).

I don't see a problem with a male/female pairing at all. I've known it work well many times. It's female/female or a pair of entire toms that are most likely to cause issues ;)

Whatever you decide, I strongly suggest that you do some scent swapping BEFORE making a decision. How they react to each other's scents will be a good indicator of whether they're likely to get on ;)

Oh, and congratulations on your new business :woo::clap::banana2::dance::party4::woohoo::jive::high5::hobbes: :D I wish you a ton of success with it :hugs::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes:
 
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losna

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Heh.. my experience says you just never know. Sinbad treats Tempest and Bêlit pretty much the same (although Tempest receives a bit more enthusiasm) but Bêlit took to him pretty quickly and Tempest ... well, she's still in her room as you know. 


But I definitely would not pick up a new cat in addition to such a drastic change in lifestyle. There's no question that the introduction of Bêlit and Sinbad went very, very well - iirc they were actually snuggling within a week - but he still required (and in fact requires) tons  of affection and reassurance. Especially given Grizzly's neediness as you have described it - he's going to be super stressed out with you being away. Even if your mother helps out, he will still be upset and stressing that you are gone, and I think that the odds of a successful introduction are drastically reduced if one of the cats is stressed out - particularly if it's the resident cat. You need to be treating the resident cat as if he's king during an introduction. He may be gaining a friend (you hope!) but he is losing territory and changing his schedule to accommodate this strange new interloping feline. Even if they get along swimmingly, he is still having to suddenly share resources that have always been his. I think it is more likely that he will associate you going away with the introduction than that he'll have an easier time with a friend.

Unless of course there is time to complete the introduction before you have to start leaving the house for work. But my impression is that this change is imminent?
 
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grizzlysapien

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SO pleased to hear that Grizzly is a reformed character now


Whether to get a companion now or whether to wait is a hard call, and I could argue it both ways. I think that, unless your mum is prepared to do a LOT of helping out in the early stages, waiting might be best. After all, Grizzly is going to be very unsettled by all the changes in your lifestyle, without the added stress of adding another cat into the mix


I'm not convinced that another bottle baby is the best choice either, as that means that neither cat will have great feline communication skills. However, if this kitten has been raised in a multicat household, I'd think differently


If it were me, I'd look for a confident, easygoing adult, as Grizzly could end up really spooking a kitten, simply by boundless over enthusiasm (thinking here of @Losna's experience with Sinbad,Tempest and Bêlit).

I don't see a problem with a male/female pairing at all. I've known it work well many times. It's female/female or a pair of entire toms that are most likely to cause issues


Whatever you decide, I strongly suggest that you do some scent swapping BEFORE making a decision. How they react to each other's scents will be a good indicator of whether they're likely to get on


Oh, and congratulations on your new business
I wish you a ton of success with it
@Columbine  Thank you Thank you THANK YOU so much! Ah, yeah! Finally! Unemployment, EAT MY DUST! 


The little girl is already being raised in a multicat environment - the whole family are cat people, they have 6 cats at home and they too have their own business and treat like 15 strays at work, so.. it IS a great PLUS on the list..
But I have to say, I do agree in most of what you say.. except for finding another adult cat.. My gut tells me that Grizzly will not co-operate.. I've noticed that he is very careful and "kind" when he is around a smaller creature, that is vulnerable.. He seems to be careful of his moves and stops being "threatening".. 
For example, in May, he brought in that injured sparrow I talked about a while ago.. I don't remember in which thread.. We ended up keeping her, cause her wing was broken, but not by Grizzly. Now she's one of the "bird gang" 
 Grizzly had his chance to kill her.. and since then, he's had tons of opportunities to snatch her, just to finish the job! 
 Instead, he goes by her cage and lies down in a way like he's "hugging" the cage. And the sparrow is not afraid also! She just goes on with her busy day hopping around in her cage, eating seeds and chirping.. Go figure! 


That's why I prefer to bring in a younger kitten.. Although, I am not rejecting your argument! You have way more experience than I do in this area! 


Also, I intended of doing the smell swapping while she would be already here.. Are you saying we should try it, while they are still apart? Because I hadn't thought of that and it's an excellent idea!
 
Heh.. my experience says you just never know. Sinbad treats Tempest and Bêlit pretty much the same (although Tempest receives a bit more enthusiasm) but Bêlit took to him pretty quickly and Tempest ... well, she's still in her room as you know. 


But I definitely would not pick up a new cat in addition to such a drastic change in lifestyle. There's no question that the introduction of Bêlit and Sinbad went very, very well - iirc they were actually snuggling within a week - but he still required (and in fact requires) tons  of affection and reassurance. Especially given Grizzly's neediness as you have described it - he's going to be super stressed out with you being away. Even if your mother helps out, he will still be upset and stressing that you are gone, and I think that the odds of a successful introduction are drastically reduced if one of the cats is stressed out - particularly if it's the resident cat. You need to be treating the resident cat as if he's king during an introduction. He may be gaining a friend (you hope!) but he is losing territory and changing his schedule to accommodate this strange new interloping feline. Even if they get along swimmingly, he is still having to suddenly share resources that have always been his. I think it is more likely that he will associate you going away with the introduction than that he'll have an easier time with a friend.

Unless of course there is time to complete the introduction before you have to start leaving the house for work. But my impression is that this change is imminent?
@Losna! The part that I marked Bold, is exactly what hit me right after I posted the thread! The wrong association.. That's something he won't come back from easily.. And I totally agree on the fact that during the introduction, we should treat the resident cat like King/Queen.. 

Also, your impression is accurate. There is not enough time to conduct the whole introduction process effectively.. 



Oh, man.. what am I going to do?? I've fallen in love with that little girl! 
 I am actually torn right now..

But thank you both, beautiful ladies for your input! You really helped me a great deal! 
 
 

NewYork1303

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Hmm. This is a challenge. I would worry a bit about the introduction if you won't really have much time for it right away. It may be best to wait until you have a good amount of time for it. On the other hand, sometimes there isn't really a right time. 

I have three cats now and they definitely love being together. They play all the time and have fun. But the introduction process was incredibly hard both times. It is very stressful so the challenge of it may not be best at a time with additional stress for you and for Grizzly. 
 

Columbine

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You know Grizzly FAR better than I do, and if your instinct is that a kitten is best, I'm sure you're right :nod: I'mvery glad to hear that this kitten is from a multicat household. That gives the best chance of her being able to understand Grizzly if you do go ahead.

I would always do a few preliminary scent swaps before chosing a new cat or kitten. The way they each react to the other's scent can really help you find a cat who'll be a good fit. I got the idea from another member here, but ut does make a lot of sense. After all, if you were about to adopt a new dog, you'd take you current dog(s) to meet it before making a final decision. The scent swap is the nearest equivalent in cat terms :bigwink: It's easy (and free), so is definitely worth doing.

Why not do a scent swap with this kitten anyway? It can't do any harm, and if Grizzly has a hugely positive reaction then it might be worth a try. Do invole your mum as much as possible though. It might work better if, at least in the early stages, there's a sense (as far as Grizzly's concerned) that Kitten is your mother's and Grizzly is yours. That way he's least likely to feel pushed out and it gives you the best chance of it working out.

Try to take a step back from your emotions and look at this rationally. Listen to your instincts. I suspect you already know the right answer, deep down. Kittens are insanely loveable and seductive, but that doesn't always mean the time is right to adopt ;) As my mother always says - your first duty is always to the animals you already own! :winkblue:
 

losna

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I understand how you feel. I fell absolutely in love with Bêlit when we saw her at the shelter. When I first wanted to adopt her, it was nearing time for Sinbad to have his dental, and the previous one terrified him so much he had nightmares for weeks ... so we waited.  Sinbad is a very anxious cat, he's actually had full on anxiety attacks, so we err on the far side of caution when it comes to him. I honestly expected that she would be adopted by the time we were able to do it - it was months and she is the sweetest most loving cat - but apparently she had decided she wanted to go home with me and rejected everyone who came in to look at her.  The guys at the shelter told me that she would run to the far end of the room and hide from anyone who tried to adopt with her!

But - I came back to say that ultimately you need to follow your own instincts as you know your cat better than any of us can, but I see I was beaten to it. 
 

pharber-murphy

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I'm no expert, but we lost Mr. Grimsby (somewhere between 17 and 20) in March last year. It took me a while to get over the grief well enough to consider another cat in the household, but we felt Bertha (now about 10, but 1-1/2 when we got her) might be lonely. Not that she and Mr. G. were bosom buddies or anything of the sort! He was an older, frail cat and she was a frisky young thing just looking to pick a fight.

One day, while browsing the local animal shelter, I spotted Albert. He is a goofy looking cat, which perfectly reflects his personality. I was hooked, so we visited him a couple of times. We brought him home about two weeks later. To properly introduce him to Bertha, I kept him in a separate room. He hated it and would throw himself at the door (literally) in an effort to be with us.  When the vet examined him, he told me I didn't need to go through the long introduction process. Once he got a clean bill of health, I let him loose in the house. Bertha wasn't at all fussed, even from the first day. They play together (which she could never do with Mr. G), eat together, and sleep together in our bed. They thoroughly enjoy each others' company. You may not be as lucky as we were, but you'll never know unless you take that chance.

The one thing I will say is that I've read about problems with introducing cats into a household when a female already lives there. My understanding is that females tend to be very territorial (probably to protect their young, even if they don't have any) and male cats tend to be more laid back.  I can understand, though, why two toms would be a problem, too. But you're looking at introducing a young female to an established male, so I think you're ahead in the game with Grizzly. If you adore this little creature, give it a try. Even if they don't like each other at first, they may settle into a live-and-let-live arrangement like Bertha and Mr. Grimsby. And if they do like each other, sweet!

Let us know how it goes.

Best regards,

Phyllis
 
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