divorce and peeing

My husband recently left me and our cats.  The girls were fine at first (they never really liked him anyway) but now that he has taken some of the furniture and the house is different Rosie is having litter box issues peeing near the box, but not in it.  To add to the fun the house is on the market now and I have to run the torture machine (sweeper) daily.  We have been to the vet and her urine only showed inflammation, no infection so we did 3 days of anti-inflammatory meds with no resolve.  I did add an additional litter box near her pee sports (all have been cleaned with enzyme cleaner) and moved a few things back to where they were, this helped for a few days and now we are back to peeing on the floor again.  The vet did recommend Royal Cannin Calm, but Rosie eats mostly wet food and it only comes in dry and with 2 cats at over $60 a bag  my question is it worth it?  We have done feliway when we first got them and she had the same issues with no help.  She is also a herpes girl and is having a flare as well (lysine doubled up and lactoferrin given)  Any other suggestions would be great, we go back to the vet on Friday. 

I am so sorry about everything going on. I feel for Rosie.

Cats typically don't use the litter box because of medical (often pain), territorial, and emotional. If the vet is ruling out medical for the most part I think it could be emotional.

Cats are very sensitive and can take things very hard. Especially change and their loved ones emotions. Cats can take on our emotions and they can then act up when they are unhappy. And the change of the furniture (removal of scents and ownership) and then people looking at the house and things like this can happen.

I know a lot is going on but I have some ideas. I can tell you love Rosie so I think we can get her to stop this behavior.

I would really like you to try to build her confidence as much as possible. I would really step up play with her if possible. After play feed either a meal or treats. Also, try to spoil her a little bit with her favorite wet food or anything she loves. Also, try to get her up on cat trees or anywhere high and places she can look outside. Finally, please try to give her as much love as possible (as long as you don't get scratched, bitten, or hurt in anyway). If you can get her to purr that would be great. But even if she would not allow you to pet her (and go at the pace she wants to go at - please do not force any love) just sit by her and talk to her in a soft loving voice it should be helpful. Anything you can do to let her know she is loved and wanted will be very helpful. Love can overpower change I believe.

And finally (and I know how hard this is) please try to be as positive, calm, and confident around her as possible. I have a feeling she senses your emotions. Please think of all the amazing qualities you possess and focus on all your positives and all the love you have in your heart and let Rosie and your other cats how much love you have to offer them. I have been through difficult situations and my animals helped me and in turn I helped them and we got through it. We fed on the positive reinforcement. I really believe in the power of positive emotions.

I will be with you through this process. Please feel free to ask anything anytime. I am more than happy to help you through the process. Good luck on the next vet visit.

Thanks so much for your great response.  Rosie is never aggressive with me and gets nonstop loving when I am home.  Even sleeps on my pillow at night.  I've been stepping up her play time as well she is only about 2 1/2 or so and she has been getting some extra catnip too.  When I do go to work I leave the TV on for noise so they don't feel alone.  I truly believe they feel our emotions well.  I keep telling her we have a great new house to go to once this one sells and I tell her all the time that I will always be her mommy cat.  I'll keep you posted with the vet visit on Friday our normal vet is out of the country so we will be seeing someone else, but I am not opposed to getting multiple opinions on her. 

You are welcome.

Great that you are giving her a lot of love. It is really important to let them know they are loved and wanted. Also, great that you are stepping up the play. After play feed treats or a meal. It will help build her confidence. It sounds like you are doing all the right things and that will help her adjust. Hopefully sooner rather than later.

Is she interacting with the other cat(s) like before? Or has the interaction between them been any different?

How long has she been going outside of the box? What percentage of the time is she going outside of the box? Have things improved at all since you stepped up the play and the love?

Was any of the furniture that was removed some of her favorite places to hang out or sleep?

Multiple opinions are never bad. We'll figure this out. You are doing a great job with her. 

All her peeing is outside the box, she does still poo in the box. Nothing that he took furniture wise was a favorite hang out for her, but it was stuff that she'd occasionally hang out on. She is chasing her sister slightly more then normal. She will sometimes chase Lilly, but other times like now they are both in the bed with me. This isn't much different then the norm for them. Do you have any experience with the calming collar. She's pretty stuffy with her herpes fare so i am not sure she will be able to smell it.

Thank you, that is very helpful. The fact it is always outside the box tells me that Rosie is going through a lot most likely because of the change.

How are the chases with her sister? And how does her sister react to be chased? Are the chases like how they chased (played) before the changes? I am trying to get a sense of any behavior change (more aggression, more nervous, more anxious etc). It could be a little redirected anger given the changes. 

Do they eat together? If not, I would try to get them to eat close to each other if possible. I'd like her sister to be a positive crutch for her and associating each other with good stuff (like food) could help in achieving that.

I don't have any experience with the calming collar sadly. I really don't use the collars or the plug ins etc and typically focus on the confidence aspect of the relationships. I know some people also use music but I am just not experienced in that.

Hang in there. Cats don't want to go outside the box so we just need to get her to be more confident and feeling more secure. I have all the faith in you that you can get Rosie there.

Please keep me up on how things are going and we'll figure this out and get her back to normal.

Usually the chases are because Rosie see's Lilly as a toy, or because Lilly is in a spot Rosie wants to be.  Lil sometimes will run under a bed, give her a swat, sometime it ends with Lil just looking at her with a "are you kidding me" look.  There is never a fight, hiss or anything violent.  The bed has always been neutral, they will be a foot or less apart.  Rosie is usually on my pillow and Lilly at my mid back or feet.  They do eat about 2 feet apart and there is never an issue over the food bowls.  We are off to the vet this afternoon, hopefully we can do an antibiotic to get her herpes under control.  She has had a flare since he left in August, at first her nasal drainage was clear to white, now we are yellow green.  Doubled the lysine and added lactoferrin with no change.  Maybe if we get her "snots" better it will help as well. 

Ok, good, it sounds like the chases aren't too bad. Good.

Good luck on the vet visit. I hope that the vet can help her with that. I am guessing the stress could be a reason for the flare up and also some of the behavioral issues.

Please keep up the confidence building and helping her through these changes and please be as calm and confident and positive as possible around her. Hopefully clearing the herpes and building her confidence and getting her through the change will get her back into the litter box full time. 

Please if you have any questions please ask. I am happy to help you through this and we can see what is working and what isn't. We should be able to resolve this. Hopefully sooner rather than later.

Rosie update:

Went to the vet on Friday, this time she did have some bacteria in her urine (vet wasn't sure if true UTI or contaminate since they just needle aspirate the bladder rather then wait for them to pee).  But between that and her ongoing upper respiratory flare we got 14 days of clavamox. 

We talked about the calming food and the calming collar.  He didn't have any experience with the collar but did recommend the food.  I am still holding off on the food for 2 reasons its $60 and bag and I have 2 cats and Rosie prefers wet food (which I need for her lysine) so still holding off on the food.  As for the collar the reviews on the breakaway feature not working and cats getting stuck scared me, and with her stuffiness I was not sure it would be worth the money.  I did start putting a few drops of my own "lavender calming mist" on the back of her collar. 

Still giving lots of lovin and extra catnip (no extra treats since she is on the chubby side already)

And I am happy to report no peeing outside the box since we started the antibiotics.  Fingers crosses she doesn't pee while I am at work tonight.    I've been in and out all weekend this is the 1st time with out me for more then a few hours. 

It is great that she hasn't go outside the box since the start of the antibiotics. I'll keep my fingers crossed that an infection is the cause for the troubles. If not we can deal with it. Thanks for the update, I'll be here if you need me.