I am positive that my cat hates me, what can i do about it.

nekuneko

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My baby girl shyla, a tabby who i have had for 8 years hates me and i have no idea why or what to do about it. I think it started when she became fully grown which was years ago, but she wont come in my room,wont let me pet her, growls at me when i talk to her,she wont rub on me yet she rubs on my siblings, the only reaction i get from her if any at all is hissing and growling. Long ago she did all this but also sleep in the bed with me and now she wont even to that, she even used to bring me gifts which was a pain but made me happy. Recently we got another cat who has been with us for 1 year now who is very sweet, she hates him. I tryed ignoring him in front of her to show her shes my number one but she dosint care. I tryed playing with her, feeding her firt,still trying to pet and talk to her but nothings changed. I at first i thought she was going through a phase but now im positive its not, im about to give up one her, the relationship is clearly one sided. Is there anything i can do or is it over. Please dont give me false hope, if theres really nothing i can do just tell me. Sorry i typed so much.
 

margd

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 Welcome to TCS!  I'm sorry you're having so many problems with your first cat.  It's very hard when love for our kitty does not seem to be returned.  It might help you to spray some Feliway around the room and even on yourself when you want to interact with her.  Feliway also comes in diffusers to emit a constant level of the product.  It's based on feel-good cat pheromones that can often mellow a cat out.

If you try the spray, also try giving your cat some special treats at the same time.  This will encourage her to associate you with good things.  

The arrival of another cat a year ago might explain some of her more recent hostility.  This is where the Feliway diffusers might help.  There is also a product called Composure which is mixed in with the food -many of our members have had good luck with this.  Both Feliway and Composure are available on amazon.

I tried to give you the links but for some reason Copy and Paste is acting up on my computer.  

One question I have - has your first cat been spayed?  This can resolve many behavior problems.

You will probably have to be patient - your girl has been acting up for eight years.  Best of luck in resolving this. 
 
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nekuneko

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Thank you for your help, also yes she was spayed when i first got her
 

calicosrspecial

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Has she been checked by a vet recently? I always try to rule out medical issues.

Cats can take on our emotions. Please try to be as calm, confident and loving around her as possible. I use food to get to a cat's heart so please keep trying to feed her her favorite food. And also keep trying to play with her. Also just sit by her and calmly and softly speak to her.

Does she have cat trees? Cats love to go high in the world. Also, make sure she has a lot of warm and comfy places to hang out and sleep.

Always let her initiate contact. Even though we want to cuddle with them try to resist until she lets you know she wants to. Just go at her pace.

I am sure she does not hate you. You seem like a wonderful person. Just show her you love her and use food and let's she how she responds.

I will be here for you during the process and let's see how she responds. Let's let her know that she is loved and taken care of.
 
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