Need some encouraging words right now. Someone please tell me it's worth it.

I've posted a couple times on this website after I got my cat. I'm a first time cat owner and because I didn't know much about cats I didn't want to get a kitten in case I raised it wrong and it developed bad habits etc. Anyways I ended up adopting a 1 year old cat 4 almost five months ago in hopes that he would be my companion but ever since I got him he's been a huge let down. I was excited to get a cat but for the first month he spent a majority of it under my bed. Now he moves comfortably around the house and is hardly ever under the bed but I feel like I'm simply living with him. He shows no affection whatsoever, hates being petted, loses interest in toys fast, doesn't respond to any form of catnip, nothing. I've tried being patient with him. I understand that he pretty much got picked up and tossed into a house and was separated from the only family he knows but it seems for the past 3 months my relationship has not improved at all with him. It almost like we're two people in a house who are simply tolarating each other. I heard that clicker training and walking can bond a person and their cat and while he knows some tricks I feel nothing has changed. Walking hasn't been going so well either. So what are your experiences?? I'm starting to lose hope and I feel guilty because I'm starting to get dreams where I wish I never adopted him and just got a kitten instead. All I wanted was a cat to be my companion, to sleep with me, sit on my lap etc. And all it seems I have is a roommate that doesn't want to have anything to do with me. 

I guess I just really need to hear that this is all worth it because I'm starting to really lose hope. 

As I said in your other thread, please accept this cat as is. You've given him a good home & you should be proud of that.

Do you know anything about this cat's life before you got him?  I adopted a cat years ago that had been physically abused.  It took a long time and a lot of hard work to earn her trust because she was scared of everything.  I had to teach her that she would not get hurt just to get her to eat.  My vet told me to get a long handled spoon and feed her baby food because she was too scared to go near cat food. It took me months just to get her to eat consistently.  It was over 6 months before she would even eat any cat food. She hid under things a lot. I would just sit on the floor and talk to her without making any eye contact. It was months before she would explore at night when we were sleeping. It took over a year for her to be comfortable around people my other cats loved.  Once she came out of her shell and accepted me she was a different cat.  It took a lot of baby steps and patience to get there.  I understand what you say when you feel like you are living with a room mate instead of a companion because this is what things were like when I was working with Baby-T.  I really had to learn to accept that the companion I wanted was going to take a long time to get..  

I don't know for sure if this is what is going on with your cat but I do remember how long it took for me to get my baby to be comfortable around me and let me see her true personality. If your baby has had reasons earlier in her life to be scared of humans then the issue is gong to take time and patience to work through.  This is a difficult but rewarding process.

@catlover73  So when my cat was a kitten he was found as a stray. But he was apparently less then a month old. The family before me took him in and raised him. As far as I can tell he wasn't abused or anything. In fact when I went over to the family's house I saw how he interacted with him and he was completely ok with being on their lap. They would pet him and everything and he would even cuddle up next to them whenever they sat down on the couch. Right now I know for a fact my cat isn't scared of me or anything. He goes up to me and meows for food when he's hungry and when he isn't he's either looking outside on my desk or he's perched up on the window sleeping. So he does in fact spend a lot of time around me but yeah... completely ignores me most of the time. 

Cats are very independant and make their own minds up. I have a cat that sounds a lot like yours. Wouldn't sit on my lap, play etc. If I picked her up she would struggle to get free. Eventually I stopped trying. Then I started to play with her toys on my own and cats being curious creatures, she started to watch, then joined in. Now, she will come to me for cuddles and play. It takes time and patience but dont force your cat. As long as he is in the same room as you, he will be watching you. Sit on the floor and play with one of his toys, roll a ball on the floor and go and get it yourself. He will eventually join in, curiousity will get the better of him. When you walk past him smooth his coat and walk off. Don't force yourself on him. It will have to be his decision. Be patient and it will pay off.
Good luck.

CalvinMigi said:

@catlover73
 So when my cat was a kitten he was found as a stray. But he was apparently less then a month old. The family before me took him in and raised him. As far as I can tell he wasn't abused or anything. In fact when I went over to the family's house I saw how he interacted with him and he was completely ok with being on their lap. They would pet him and everything and he would even cuddle up next to them whenever they sat down on the couch. Right now I know for a fact my cat isn't scared of me or anything. He goes up to me and meows for food when he's hungry and when he isn't he's either looking outside on my desk or he's perched up on the window sleeping. So he does in fact spend a lot of time around me but yeah... completely ignores me most of the time. 

Click to expand...

You can see right there what he's been through. At 4 weeks old he's on the street. Then he finds a home & apparently they re-home him to you. There's nothing worse for a cat than to be re-homed. Poor little guy - no wonder he keeps some distance. He's afraid you will re-home him. Cats are very intuitive.

I have a kitten who spent the first few months of her life as a stray. She is a stubborn cranky little sh&t. Give it time. I learnt to laugh at her quirks and despite the occasional frustrating rant, we get on fine. Her favourite toy she wouldn't play with for 3 weeks because I tried to entice her to play.
I bought her a 2 metre high cat tower. It was 3 days before she jumped on it because I tried again to entice her. Cats can be stubborn and aloof. Give it time and the walls can come down.
Also try ignoring him. It drives my kitten crazy when I'm aloof back. She'll rub purr and meow just because I ignore her a little.