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post #61 of 71
Melissa, wow...that must have been hard the other night to actually drive and want to somehow help him and you with the relationship...if he loves you, he should want to help the relationship...I am sorry, and if I can be of any help to you in any way....please let me know! (((HUGS)))
post #62 of 71
Melissa, youv'e done all you can on your part to try and rescue this marriage, and if he cant even bother his backside then don't cry over this man anymore!.

He's dragging you down with whats known as 'mental torture' and believe me, anyone who does that to you is not worth it!!.

Over the days, weeks and months you will have your moments thinking about him, but honestly, it will make you a more stronger, independent person.

If anything him seeing that you are coping ok will tick him off because a lot of men don't like to see women who are independent!.

And i speak on behalf of everyone on the site, WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!.
post #63 of 71
Melissa I feel for you! I can't imagine how hard this must be but you are doing the right thing! Hang in there. You need to get out on your own with the kids and away from him. I know that's difficult, but think about what your kids are learning if you stay. They would learn that it's OK to treat mom like trash and go out and do whatever. They need stability and love.

I hope you find the continued strength to do what is right for you and your kids!
post #64 of 71
I am so sorry this is happening to you.

I don't really have advice for you. But I think it's great that you went back to your Mom's house, right now you need a strong support group, and your family is a good place to start. And we'll always be here for you at the boards.

post #65 of 71
I don't know what to say that could give you some comford . Maybe right now is a good time to focus on the things you do have . Your kids and your parents . I know personal many woman who went through this and know also how heart breaking it is for you . But they all made it and all of them are better off now . I don't think you need to be seeing him any more , each time you see him it will just hurt more . Start living for you and your children and do the things you enjoy most . You also can go allone to the councelor for more suport and he/she would also be able to help you in your emotions and how to deal with all you are going through . I want you to know that my heart is hurting for you

I will be praying for you
post #66 of 71
Shame on him, Melissa. It's obvious that the only 'fix' he is interested in is for you to 'stop bitching' and see things his way. I'd say this marriage is a done deal. He isn't even willing to work to improve things. Every time you think you still love him, stop and ask yourself if you love being treated like this. You may think you love him, but the way he behaves is part of him. And there is no way you can love that.
post #67 of 71

I am so sorry, My ex husband was the same way he used to do party too much one day I told him it me or the partying , he said I pick the partying , I came to realize hes an addict and that his comments have nothing to do with me the person , that hes sick and needs help .

If this is the case with your husband try to know that everything hes saying to you is his sickness , and all you can do is protect yourself , contacting womens support agencies in your community , even domestic violence ones because emotional abuse is domestic violence to.

I am a survivor of this and you will be to
post #68 of 71

Sorry to hear about your problems. Any advice is easier to give then to do! My advice to you is for you to go to councelling for yourself, no one else. Get your emotions out, deal with the hate and negative emotions. I speak from experience I am going through a not so nice time myself right now. Kids are involved and no matter what kind of an ass your husband is, you want your kids to come to that conclusion on their own not because you feel negatively about him. As for the white picket fence perfect family....ever wonder why you only see them on t.v.? Becuase they don't exist. Everyone has problems...some can be worked out some can't. You have to ask yourself is this what I want for the rest of my life. People generally don't change and your husband has proven that more than once. I wish you the best of luck. I know you will do what needs to be done to make the best life for you and your children. Don't let your husband win, eat, be happy, if he sees you suffering over this he knows he has the control, don't give it to him you are in control.

Take care

post #69 of 71
oh honey, I'm so sorry that the marriage counselor didn't work. It's for the best I guess, he made his choice, now you have to also. Blow him off like a bug and mvoe on. I know it's so hard but you're to good for the emotional abuse you suffer at the hands of this man everyday. Like I've said before, you'll find that good man, one who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated! you are a strong woman and a wonderful one also. it'll tkae time to heal and get over this looser, but you will, getting out is the hardest part and you did just that, so you're 1/2 way there. I echo all the rest " WE ARE HERE FOR YOU"! You're never alone!
post #70 of 71

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm glad, though, that you're beginning to do what's necessary to heal.
post #71 of 71
So sorry you are going through such a rough time. Men can be really stupid sometimes. What happens when he gets older, the parties are fewer, and eventually will stop? What will he have then? Be strong and realize that you ARE a worthy woman. No man (or woman) has the right to make you feel bad. It just shows their immaturity. Hang in there, and times WILL get better (with or without him!) Counseling isn't a bad idea to help you, but realize your husband probably will refuse help (which is what he badly needs, having priorities so out of whack).
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