SOS: Desperate for support from fellow cat owners/lovers- Considering rehoming

Hi there everyone,  

I joined this site in search of some support and compassion from fellow cat owners/lovers. I have two cats named Qi and Magic. I've had them since they were 8 weeks old and they will be 5 in November. They are littermates/brothers. Unfortunately, life has been pretty stressful for me since I got them, which I obviously did not anticipate. There's been a lot of moves, some tragic sudden loss and so they have been along for the ride. 

I'm at the point where I can no longer keep up with the costs and the stress of some of their needs/issues. I've spent hours upon hours online researching, reading books and articles about cat health, cat behaviour. I've watched videos and pretty much done everything within my physical and financial capacity to try and resolve the issues that I am having with them. 

They are my family, not like my family, they are my family. I love them so much and I take the responsibility of caring for them very seriously. I think about how I can keep them, make them healthy and happy, every day. And I just can't seem to get things under control with them. 

The key issues I am having are below: 

Cost for grain free canned wet food 

Cost for Worlds Best Cat Litter (used to be at Walmart for reasonable price but they stopped carrying it)...

Cost of Supplements 

Health issues

Behavioural issues 

Qi- 

urinates outside the box regularly

very loud, incessant meowing

Have tried/am currently: 

Feliway diffuser, extra litter boxes (5 in a 1 bedroom apartment) , different kinds of litter boxes, different levels of litter, different locations, clean all urine thoroughly with a recommended enzymatic cleaner, Chinese herbs, expensive urinary care "prescription food", natural food, regular vet visits, regular tests of the urine that come back as fine or nothing to say there is an infection or blood, holistic vet and I'm sure other things I'm not able to remember.

But like I said, I've read all of the forums and done a lot of research on the urinary issue and I am still cleaning pee off the floor every day, sometimes several times a day. 

He has damaged property everywhere I have lived, most recently causing a huge falling out with a past roommate due to a damaged rug

He is currently damaging the floor in the apartment I am living with his urine 

Magic-

high stage of heart murmur (was not specified by the vet but she said cats with hearts like his don't live past 5 or 6 years old which I don't believe because it seemed she was fear mongering but that's what she said, I hope it's not true...)  

can't afford the 600.00 ultrasound on his heart to determine what is exactly going on even though a skilled vet should be able to know quite a bit with just a stethoscope examination, she said I needed the $600 ultra sound to know more

I believe/follow natural/ holistic medicine so don't have him on the heart medications prescribed by a vet and had him on a herbal tincture but cannot afford at the moment (Young at heart herbal tincture by Pet Wellbeing) 

He is overweight 

Chews through computer cords, headphones etc. 

I can't afford a consultation with any of these online experts, I can't afford any more vet visits that just involve paying several hundreds of dollars on urine analysis that comes back with no useful information, talking and suggesting I purchase more books and more medicines. I feel like I read so much and so much of it is "you have to buy my book, my product to make it better". Or put him on Prozac, which I strongly disagree with. The money is just not there and I'm in huge debt as it is because of buying books/medicines/vet visits/high quality food etc.  

Right now I'm trying to transition them to a homemade diet, which is not going well so far. They won't even go near their food bowls even if I sneak in one little piece of chicken that I made.  I figure that is the only way I can afford to feed them healthy food at this point as I've read a site that talks about raw diet/semi-cooked food and can get it down to 95 cents a day. But they are both extremely picky eaters. 

I know I don't know anybody here on this site, I've never posted. And this is a very long post. I'm honestly so desperate for support around this issue. I feel like I'm ready to give up and I'm honestly devastated. I find my quality of life is hugely affected by the stress of trying to maintain these two cats. They are so precious, beautiful cats, very loving, and we are definitely bonded because I've had them since they were kittens, but I just don't know what to do anymore. No one in my life understands because they are either not as invested in their cat's health or don't like cats/have cats....I just don't feel like anybody gets it. I should mention that I myself have a chronic illness that is most likely the core issue as to why I am not able to physically/financially care for them at this time. 

Thank you for reading this. If anybody can offer any support, understanding, compassion, or can relate, offer advice, any information at all, I would so greatly appreciate it. Just the thought of rehoming them makes me feel sick with grief but I just don't know what else to do. 

Sincerely, 

Heartbroken and stressed cat mommy 

Hi and welcome!

Just a few quick thoughts that might be of help.  Do they like Fancy Feast classics?  Those are grain free and more affordable.  So is Friskies Pate.  It's not homemade but what good is homemade when they won't eat it, right?  Cats are mighty picky little creatures.  Also, do they have to have that expensive litter?  I use the sand from the big open receptacle at Petco.  It's only $10 for 30 pounds when you refill.  It clumps pretty well and there's almost no odor (it is unscented.)

I'm sorry you are going through such a trying time right now.  Every bit you can save on their food will help.  I wouldn't worry about transitioning them to raw at this particular time.  That's adding too much stress to you and to them.   Did the vet suggest this to you?  

Hi Ginny,

Thank you so much for your prompt response and warm welcome.

I haven't tried Fancy Feast classics with them, but can buy a can or two and see if they'll eat it. (Sidenote: I live in Ontario, Canada but I'm sure that's available here) I didn't know Friskies was grain free...So I will definitely look into that. 

They don't have to have that litter. I have just been using it for so many years and wasn't sure what a cheaper, comparable alternative was. I would just prefer to use a natural litter and I suppose with Qi peeing outside the box, I worry about switching litters aggravating the situation and making it worse, but I suppose I could try one box. 

I agree that transitioning them to raw is too much right now. The vet did not suggest the homemade/raw route per say...but they are a holistic vet and provided me with samples of a local raw food company and I also bought some dry food for them (that my cats don't eat) 

I figure that even if I buy them the cheapest food/litter and it eases the financial stress, at least I'm still caring for them the best I can. I suppose I've read way too much for my own good and am such a strong believer in the natural/holistic route but now that it has become an industry, I don't feel the average person can afford it...well at least I can't. I just don't want to make them sick or make worse current symptoms/behaviour with bad food...and have to pay larger vet bills down the line because of it. 

Thanks again for those tips and your compassion..super helpful. 

Hello and welcome.

Are they both fixed?  How many litter boxes do you have?

I would really reconsider the medication.  I know you want to stay natural, but surely if you have tried every other option, alleviating some stress and adding medication would be preferable to rehoming.  Most cats do very well on a low dose.  They are not zombies, just more relaxed.  Mental health is a serious concern!

Hi,

Thank you for reading and your thoughtful response.

Yes both fixed.

5 litter boxes of varying shapes and sizes. I had to add litter boxes where he was peeing but he just keeps moving down the line and will pee in front or around the most recently added litter box.

My apartment is full of litter boxes... they are pretty much everywhere. I wouldn't have anyone over because it's too embarrassing.

When you say consider the medication- do you mean the Prozac for Qi for the urinating issue? Have you had experience with this and your cats?

Thanks once again!

qiqimoomoo said:

 
Hi Ginny,

Thank you so much for your prompt response and warm welcome.

I haven't tried Fancy Feast classics with them, but can buy a can or two and see if they'll eat it. (Sidenote: I live in Ontario, Canada but I'm sure that's available here) I didn't know Friskies was grain free...So I will definitely look into that. 

They don't have to have that litter. I have just been using it for so many years and wasn't sure what a cheaper, comparable alternative was. I would just prefer to use a natural litter and I suppose with Qi peeing outside the box, I worry about switching litters aggravating the situation and making it worse, but I suppose I could try one box. 

I agree that transitioning them to raw is too much right now. The vet did not suggest the homemade/raw route per say...but they are a holistic vet and provided me with samples of a local raw food company and I also bought some dry food for them (that my cats don't eat) 

I figure that even if I buy them the cheapest food/litter and it eases the financial stress, at least I'm still caring for them the best I can. I suppose I've read way too much for my own good and am such a strong believer in the natural/holistic route but now that it has become an industry, I don't feel the average person can afford it...well at least I can't. I just don't want to make them sick or make worse current symptoms/behaviour with bad food...and have to pay larger vet bills down the line because of it. 

Thanks again for those tips and your compassion..super helpful. 

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I was thinking that switching litters could aggravate things too.  But isn't Dr. Elsey's unscented?  Maybe I'm thinking of another kind.  Well, it's worth a shot.  I wonder if the kitty is upset about something going on in the household.  Is there a stray cat that visits a door or window he likes to look out of?  They tend to mark more when they feel their territory is threatened by some stranger cat.  

About the food, there is the argument that any grain-free canned is much better than the best dry food their is.  Also, these brands use organ meats which cats do eat in the wild.  Maybe it's not as good as the best raw food you could make, but it's much better than dry.  And it's better for their health to have a happier you feed them food they like, rather than an anxious you trying to switch them to something they don't like.  Stress affects digestion negatively too.  

About the heart murmur and the vet's prognosis, hopefully that won't come true.  All we can do is the best we can do.  I'm glad I could help!  

qiqimoomoo said:

Hi,

Thank you for reading and your thoughtful response.

Yes both fixed.

5 litter boxes of varying shapes and sizes. I had to add litter boxes where he was peeing but he just keeps moving down the line and will pee in front or around the most recently added litter box.

My apartment is full of litter boxes... they are pretty much everywhere. I wouldn't have anyone over because it's too embarrassing.

When you say consider the medication- do you mean the Prozac for Qi for the urinating issue? Have you had experience with this and your cats?

Thanks once again!

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Yes, I do mean the Prozac. I haven't needed it with my cat but I certainly would try it as a last resort. I've read about some pretty remarkable results on this website. Qi sounds anxious. It could help a lot and would definitely be better than rehoming. It's inexpensive, too.

I would stop with the supplements and transition off the prescription food if it's not helping.

Feed them what they will eat. That's the most important thing. Then you make the healthiest choices that you can.

For the litter, have you tried the cat attract kind? What about cleaning up inappropriate spots that have been soiled? Have you used an enzyme cleaner?

It sounds to me like you've gotten in your head about making the best possible choices for your cats all the time. This is wonderful, but sometimes you need to settle and do what works for you! They need to eat readily and you want them to stay with you at a rate you can afford.

I was also going to suggest Cat Attract, that just might help! Also for males, you just want to make sure they're getting plenty of liquid because they are quite apt to crystals. Try a can of food & add just a little water so it's not soup, but more liquidy then what's just in the can. I typically add just a little extra water to my cat's food a few times a week, that keep them well hydrated & peeing good.

Ginny said:

It's only $10 for 30 pounds

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Don't know whether Family Dollar is in Canada, but I buy 7 lb bags of clay unscented clumping litter for $1 a bag. I don't know of anything cheaper than this.

Thank you everyone for your suggestions and resources. I greatly appreciate it. 

I tried the Cat Attract litter a little while ago and he went in the litter box and started eating it. It did not encourage him to use the litter box, unfortunately. I researched the eating of it and although it is not common, it is not recommended that they eat it. So I had to take it back to the store. 

Every time he pees I thoroughly clean it with an enzymatic cleaner called Urine Destroyer (Nature's Miracle) 

I add a little water to their wet food and blend it up, this is how they like it. So I think he is getting enough water. They get several bowls around a 1 bedroom apartment of brita filtered water, as well as a pioneer pet cat fountain. 

When he pees on the floor, he is peeing quite a bit so I suppose that shows he is getting a lot of water. He just keeps peeing in the same spot so many times throughout the evening. And has recently started up his meowing agan. He will meow while urinating and after urinating. 

The last time he did this I rushed him to the vet even though I had the flu. I paid 300 dollars for the visit, urinalysis, meds etc. The tests came back with nothing. And I left the vet having no new information or hope as to what to do for him or this issue. 

I'm at my wit's end guys. I can't clean up cat urine every day and night. I'm finding it so stressful.

I don't know if he is spraying or urinating at this point, it's confusing. 

Thanks for reading. 

qiqimoomoo said:

Thank you everyone for your suggestions and resources. I greatly appreciate it. 

I tried the Cat Attract litter a little while ago and he went in the litter box and started eating it. It did not encourage him to use the litter box, unfortunately. I researched the eating of it and although it is not common, it is not recommended that they eat it. So I had to take it back to the store. 

Every time he pees I thoroughly clean it with an enzymatic cleaner called Urine Destroyer (Nature's Miracle) 

I add a little water to their wet food and blend it up, this is how they like it. So I think he is getting enough water. They get several bowls around a 1 bedroom apartment of brita filtered water, as well as a pioneer pet cat fountain. 

When he pees on the floor, he is peeing quite a bit so I suppose that shows he is getting a lot of water. He just keeps peeing in the same spot so many times throughout the evening. And has recently started up his meowing agan. He will meow while urinating and after urinating. 

The last time he did this I rushed him to the vet even though I had the flu. I paid 300 dollars for the visit, urinalysis, meds etc. The tests came back with nothing. And I left the vet having no new information or hope as to what to do for him or this issue. 

I'm at my wit's end guys. I can't clean up cat urine every day and night. I'm finding it so stressful.

I don't know if he is spraying or urinating at this point, it's confusing. 

Thanks for reading. 

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Please reconsider the Prozac. It could make a world of difference.

Would St. John's Wart be more affordable? Can it be given to cats?

If you go with Prozac, remember that you can't stop giving it abruptly or else it will cause very annoying and disruptive withdrawal effects. Been there, done that.

Ginny said:

Would St. John's Wart be more affordable? Can it be given to cats?

If you go with Prozac, remember that you can't stop giving it abruptly or else it will cause very annoying and disruptive withdrawal effects. Been there, done that.

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Prozac is extremely affordable for cars. Something like $4 a month.

talkingpeanut said:

Prozac is extremely affordable for cars. Something like $4 a month.

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I'd be at my wit's end too. She really should try Prozac. I know I would.

Thanks again for your suggestions and support.

I've ordered some things from Amazon I'm hoping will help and have contacted my vet with hopes we can talk over the phone about what she thinks. He is going in the litterbox when I am around and I praise him big time/give him a treat...

but still spraying/urinating (still not sure how to know which he is doing). I added a 6th litter box yesterday in the spot he was going and as I expected he started to go on the floor in front of that litter box. Just keeps making his way down the line. 

This will put the Feliway diffuser to a real test to see if it works. Will keep you all posted. 

It really sounds like this kitty just does not want to go into a box at all.  I wonder why.  Is it a covered box or an open one?  Covered boxes are not a good idea because it discourages the owner from scooping.  Plus the kitty might not like the concentrated odor inside them.  Could you just settle for puppy pads, at least for the time being?

I think I asked this before but not sure, is he front declawed?  Some cats get arthritis in the remaining joints because of an awkward standing position that is imposed on them because of declawing.  And those kitties can develop litter box aversion.  

That's why I mentioned Jackson Galaxy's consultation with Fi (pronounced Fee) a front declawed persian who never went in her litter box and was rehomed a number of times.  Jackson put out a pad wherever she liked to go and then slowly built a litter box around that pad.  It took weeks slowly putting up one side and then another. But there was more to it than that which is why I tried to find the actual video instead of just the transcript.  I've never seen the litter box he used to train her to go in the box, so I guess they aren't very common.  The kitty also had some kind of treatment for the arthritis too and he stopped the owner from feeding her heavy cream as a treat.  

I feel your pain - I have a 16 year old cat that had starting peeing outside the box. I did away with covered boxes years ago but I only had one box for 2 cats so I added another box. I have a screened patio to my apartment and as I live in Florida, I can get away with having the other box out there with the screen door cracked open for them to utilize the box. I bought one of those under-the-bed plastic storage containers to use to give my guy plenty of room (he was urinating over the sides). I also lined the area with puppy pads, which would really help to save your floor/carpet. Just change out the pads.
Also, I switched both my kibble eaters over to canned foods (I use mostly Friskees & Fancy Feast). I think it's more important for cats to eat canned food (even the cheap stuff) over dry. I tried a sample of EZ Complete, which you can use with raw or cooked meat. My older guy loves raw; I've been supplementing with a meal of plain raw chicken thigh or pork for dinner every few nights. When I have a little extra money, I'm going to order a bag of the EZ Complete but you do the best that you can with what you have.
I also understand the cats are your family, which is why I believe re-homing isn't the answer; I think it would be detrimental to your mental health, even though it's frustrating now. You have a few things you can try (Prozac is an excellent suggestion as well). I'm glad you reached out -- there's a great community here that can help you through the rough stuff [emoji]128512[/emoji]

qiqimoomoo said:

 
Hi there everyone,  

I joined this site in search of some support and compassion from fellow cat owners/lovers. I have two cats named Qi and Magic. I've had them since they were 8 weeks old and they will be 5 in November. They are littermates/brothers. Unfortunately, life has been pretty stressful for me since I got them, which I obviously did not anticipate. There's been a lot of moves, some tragic sudden loss and so they have been along for the ride. 

I'm at the point where I can no longer keep up with the costs and the stress of some of their needs/issues. I've spent hours upon hours online researching, reading books and articles about cat health, cat behaviour. I've watched videos and pretty much done everything within my physical and financial capacity to try and resolve the issues that I am having with them. 

They are my family, not like my family, they are my family. I love them so much and I take the responsibility of caring for them very seriously. I think about how I can keep them, make them healthy and happy, every day. And I just can't seem to get things under control with them. 

The key issues I am having are below: 

Magic-

high stage of heart murmur (was not specified by the vet but she said cats with hearts like his don't live past 5 or 6 years old which I don't believe because it seemed she was fear mongering but that's what she said, I hope it's not true...)  

can't afford the 600.00 ultrasound on his heart to determine what is exactly going on even though a skilled vet should be able to know quite a bit with just a stethoscope examination, she said I needed the $600 ultra sound to know more

I believe/follow natural/ holistic medicine so don't have him on the heart medications prescribed by a vet and had him on a herbal tincture but cannot afford at the moment (Young at heart herbal tincture by Pet Wellbeing) 

He is overweight 

Chews through computer cords, headphones etc. 

Sincerely, 

Heartbroken and stressed cat mommy 

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I am a human doctor, not a veterinary doctor, so you should check any advice that I give you about Magic with a vet.  Having written this, it appears that you are very stressed and your stress may well be communicating through to your cats, so do please try to be calm around them.

As for Magic's heart murmur, this is due to damage to the valves of the heart.  The flow of blood over the valve eddies and cause a vibration that is heard over the stethoscope.They valves may be narrowed or they may be leaking, your vet will have decided which is the case.  Neither is necessarily worse than the other.  The actual evidence for heart disease is not so much the murmurs, they can  be loud but the heart function may be completely normal,. but evidence of either an irregular heart rate or evidence of an enlarged heart.

I know that it is relatively easy for a human doctor to determine whether the heart is enlarged by examining the chest in a human, but a cat's chest is so much smaller that it may be impossible to do so.  Whatever, the best way to further evaluate the heart is an electrocardiograph and either an X-Ray or an ultrasonic examination and these are expensive.. 

But does this matter?  The vet may has said that Magic may not live beyond six years, but you can never be sure that any doctor, human or cat, is correct when he/she gives a prognosis concerning how long a human, or a cat, is going to live.  We can only give an average - and I personally, over more than 60 years of medical practice in GP and general specialist internal medical practice and as a cardiologist, have seen many humans with fatal disease(s) live for years beyond their predicted average life expectancy!

I also have to say that neither holistic nor natural medicines can treat organic diseases like cardiac disease.  However  such medicines as digitalis, Lasix and beta-blockers can treat a failing heart, if it happens, thus extending the life span considerably.

What I am saying is that you cannot necessarily be tied down to any 6 year period and your cat, Magic, can well live by his name and confound all those who attempt to give him a life expectancy! 

Enjoy Magic and love him for as long as he has - and this may be considerably longer than you expect!

With best wishes - and stop worrying so much,

Geoffrey

Please do not put your cat on Prozac until you have researched side effects. I'm dealing with a similar situation and have talked at length with my vet about various mental health drugs. Prozac can cause irritability, aggression, loss of appetite, vomiting, a change in behavior, and a few other things. When I found this out, prozac was a definite no. There are other drugs you can consider that have less side effects. Have your vet research other options.

BelleL said:

Please do not put your cat on Prozac until you have researched side effects. I'm dealing with a similar situation and have talked at length with my vet about various mental health drugs. Prozac can cause irritability, aggression, loss of appetite, vomiting, a change in behavior, and a few other things. When I found this out, prozac was a definite no. There are other drugs you can consider that have less side effects. Have your vet research other options.

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Many cats have no side effects. It's definitely worth talking to a vet about all options!