Still get pain in my chest when I think of our deceased cat

It's been three months at least. I still think of her occasionally and feel this pain where I have to stop thinking about it or I'll get sad. I can't believe she isn't alive anymore. It's almost like the memory didn't happen. I never took her for granted but it just makes me think of how strange life is. What is the point of getting close to anything if we are all going to go away eventually. The pain hurts so much and I know people say the memory will make you happy but no the memory makes me sad because I can never relive them. I guess it just makes me think of mortality in general. Life is just sad in general cause it started making me think of how my family members are also getting older and we will soon all pass. I dont know why it's making me so sad.

Does anyone still go through this? I am still resolved to not having another pet ever again cause of this

When we experience death in our lives,  it definitely brings up our own mortality. EVERY single living thing at one time or another knows there is a end to life, through losing someone close to us or at the moment of their own demise, no one will escape the natural end to birth. It is what we do with our lives in between birth and death that matters. We can not change the past, it is gone and there is nothing we can do to change the chain of events that happened.  We hopefully take from our past and learn to use it to shape our future. Once we realize that the present is here, and it is what we make of it,  we are all better off for it.  The point of allowing yourself to find happiness, to open your heart to love, is that NOTHING IS FOREVER, and we must take happiness and love when we can and be thankful it found us. That makes it precious and rare, well worth having, to not have love and happiness in your life means you have little in life at all that matters.

Your sweet baby would NEVER want you to be so sad when remembering the times you spent together. When I feel that drop in my stomach and the pain in my heart when remembering my own loss, and it still brings tears almost four years later, I purposefully think that if it had been me that had gone first, would I really want her to live the rest of her life in tears and sadness, NO! You gave a part of yourself to your little one, and vice versa, that is why it hurts so bad now, but do you really think the love and the bond you developed can just end with a death? It is not physical like our shells that house who we really are, our souls are immortal, they are part of nature, and with the death of our bodies, they once again become part of nature, something spiritual, no longer bound to physical properties, not like love which will be with us forever.

Sadness, anger, the unending regret, are all a part of the grief process. You will never find another love like you experienced because there is no other love like that. But from your post I know that to hurt that bad because of love, you are capable of loving again if you allow yourself to, your heart is big and your emotions are genuine. Another pet can never replace what you lost, but it can bring distraction and eventually happiness and joy once again. Like a mother with many children, each love is unique and precious, as different as a snowflake. If you can't bring yourself to open up yet, and believe me, three months is not long at all, give your time at your local shelter, give those precious babies there a moment to feel loved and wanted, even if it is temporary. Pay for the adoption of a favorite to find a forever home, bring pet food to a food bank,it will make you feel better about yourself, build up your confidence, and it will honor and bring joy to the one that went on before you.

Don't feel alone in your grief, there are MANY who feel as you do, it is so hard to go on with our lives, to make a new life order for ourselves.  But to go through the rest of our lives in pain is unthinkable and is not what our loved ones would want for us. Somehow we muddle through with the help of those who have been there, and one day we will realize that the ones we loved so much are still there for us, their soul's essence is tied to ours in such a way that we are one now, and it will always be. Your little one will bring you comfort if you ask, in your memories and in your heart. Time will soften the grief you are going through, and one day you will be whole again, although the scar will always be there, and allow yourself to let happiness and love come back into your life. But you must work at it like anything that is worth having. Cats have a funny way of entering our lives unexpectedly, and often certainly unwanted. Don't shut your eyes or your heart to love, it comes nether-less. Take care, I send my prayers and will keep you both in my thoughts. Don't let grief rule your life, there are so many things a lot more worth having, but you have to want to live again in the present, not in the past.  The past is a wonderful place to visit, but you have to live in the now, it is what you make it.   

Sure, I still think about our little ones that passed and get sad, even ones from many years ago, that is natural. And 3 months is NOT  a long time, and when I was struggling with this my pastor and a friend who is a psychologist both told me it takes about 1.5 years before you start feeling okay with it, so you have over a year to go yet if you believe that. But don't let that discourage you. And I too, at almost 56 years old, think about all of the loss we are experiencing, both people and pets as we get older, we just keep losing and losing....but we must go on, and we do.

I hope your heart heals and with time you take in and take care of another little one in need of your love and care.

God Bless.......

I'm very sorry for your loss.  Your cat was blessed to have someone who loved her so much.  My prayers are with you.

So very sorry for the loss of your little one. We lost two babies this year, one just a few weeks ago. I truly do understand where you are right now. Seems that there's no real way to ease this pain, but know you're not alone. You gave your baby love and kindness and you'll always have that, and your memories. Over the past many years, I've lost so many,not just kitties, but dogs and horses as well. There's never any real consolation and time just eases the grief. You'll always grieve in some way, but you will start to rely more on the good memories. Lots of us out here do know what this is like, so know we truly feel for you. God bless...