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Very sad - today I just lost my best friend

post #1 of 24
Thread Starter 
Hi, I adopted "Boots" way back in 1990 when she was two tears old when I took her in. She was abandoned by previous guardians and she was took in by the RSPCA (Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals).

I've looked after her for what must be 16 years and today I had to make the most dreadful decision.

Sadly her health has deteriorated very recently. Her hind legs were diagnosed with arthritis last year however she managed to still get about and always seemed like a happy old timer. I live in a block of maisonettes so she was always climbing up and down stairs. A difficult task for anyone of advanced years yet she still managed to do it.

During the last few weeks she began to pee next to her litter tray after climbing up the stairs + not in it. I assumed this was due to the fact I'd re-painted the bathroom which was where the litter tray was located. I'd also removed the carpet which she used to scratch around the litter tray.

A couple of days ago I noticed Boots was acting very peculiar when she was walking around the flat in circles with her head drooped. Her head was also turning left right up and down on occasion as if she was trying to focus on something. She appeared very confused. Then she began to pee all over the bedroom carpet in different locations.

She did not seem to recognise me or aknowledge the sound of my voice when I called her.

Earlier today I had to make the most distressing decision and take her to the vet for advice (I already knew what he was going to say).

16 years of beautiful friendship with my mate Boots.

I had to let her go to heavan today and I'm totally devastated. I've lived alone with Boots now for 9 out of the 16 years she has been with me. The best mate you could ever have.

As I'm sure you can imagine I am wracked with guilt about signing the euthenasia form and need to hear a friendly voice right now. The worst thing was packing up all her belongings and putting them in a bin bag for the removal men to take away.

totally gutted.

post #2 of 24
i am very sorry for your loss. maybe others have already told you this, but cats always know when it is their time and even though it is hard to send them to the rainbow bridge, sometimes you need to make that tough decision. everyone here is very supportive and will give you many comforting words. i wish you all the best
post #3 of 24
I'm so sorry for your loss, Mack. As sad as it is, you made the right decision for Boots. You gave her peace, and she is free from all pain now. I'm sure she would thank you for it.

Allow yourself to grieve. Don't listen to anyone who tells you Boots was "just a cat." She was more than a cat, she was your friend, your companion, your family. It is perfectly normal to grieve her loss as you would any friend.

Boots is at the Rainbow Bridge now, playing and free. She is watching you, loving you as you still and will always love her. And when the time is right, she will send you another companion with her blessings, another one to love as you love her so much.
post #4 of 24
Please don't beat yourself up. The complete love for a cat is when you come to the realization that their time on earth is over, and you allow them the dignity of leaving free of pain.

It sounds like Boots suffered a stroke, and your sacrifice of putting aside the desire to have this cat still in your life and signing those dreaded papers, just reinforced what Boots already knew- how much you truly loved her.

There is another cat around the corner just waiting for your special love, and when the time is ready, the two of you will meet. In the meantime, you have my heart for I know your load is heavy. These cats change our lives so much when they are in them, how can they not effect them when they leave?
post #5 of 24
Thread Starter 
Thank you very much everyone for replying.

My heart is still heavy with guilt about the euthanasia.

This is my first night without Boots. I've spent the night cleaning away her litter tray, food and water bowls, also hoovering the last bits of treats that I used to leave out for her.

I'm really going through the grieving process right now and feeling awfull.

Thankyou everyone for your support in this thread.

Lots of love

post #6 of 24
I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved Boots.

May you Rest In Peace Boots.

Don't be too hard on yourself. You did what was the best thing for her and yourself as well. She will always be a part of your life. She loves you for everything and is watching over you now free of her pain. She would not want you to beat up on yourself for anything.

Don't let anyone tell you she was 'just a cat'. She was a family member and a loving companion, as well as a friend. Grief and sorrow is normal right now.

There is someone waiting for you when it is time for you two to meet. And she will be happy for you, waiting with a smile on her face.

Take care.
post #7 of 24
Mack im so sorry to hear about Boots. I can only imagine how you must be feeling at the moment.

You will never forget her, because no matter how many fur babies you get, each one has their own personality that will stick with you forever.

But i agree with the others about another fur baby crying out for a loving home, and i bet your the one their waiting for!

post #8 of 24

I'm going to give you the same advice a friend of mine gave me when I had to make that decision:

Courage is not acting, but in making the decision to act.

Grieve Boots. Take comfort in the fact that he is waiting for you over the bridge, watching you. And when you see another set of green eyes crying for a home, you'll know.
post #9 of 24
Your note brought tears to my eyes. Please don't feel guilty for the difficult decision you were forced to make for the benefit of your friend. Thank you for sharing your feelings here. My heart hurts with you today.
post #10 of 24
Really sorry for your loss of Boots. All my cats are more my mates than 'kids' so I know the pain you are going through at the moment. My best mate is 18 now and although she is a game old bird there will come a time when I will have to make the same decision as you. I hope I have the same strength as you have shown and do what is right for her and not for myself.
post #11 of 24
I'm so sorry for your loss.

Losing a beloved cat after many years together is heartbreaking. Please don't feel bad for signing those papers - they were necessary to allow Boots a peaceful passing and release from this world. That was the kindest thing you could do for her, though I know it hurts terribly to let go.

Rest In Peace and enjoy the sunbeams over the Rainbow Bridge, sweet Boots.
post #12 of 24
Mack, my heart bleeds for you. Parting with a friend of so many years is the hardest thing to do.

You will find a great support network here, and feel free to pour your heart out as much as you need.

We have all either been there or can empathise through the love we have for our own cats.

Keep strong, the pain will get better. Keep the memory of Boots warm until you see her again.
post #13 of 24
Thread Starter 
Thankyou again everyone for your kind words and support during this difficult time.

It is helping me greatly to be able to visit here to see your replies.

The pain has not faded yet and I still feel really guilty. I'm wishing now I would have had the courage to stay with Boots when the Vet administered the euthanasia. I was just too upset and had to leave the room. This has really been playing on my mind. I just could not bear to be there and watch her slip away. In my minds eye I wanted to remember her living.

I know for many people being there brings comfort during the euthanasia however I really could not face it myself. I think taking Boots there on my own without anyone with me didn't help either.

Anyway thankyou all again for being there over the past few days to help me through this. You are a blessing and I'm really glad that I found this forum.

Love and thoughts,

post #14 of 24

About a year ago we found out that our 17 year old Cat Tiffany had mouth cancer. The vet said it was fast moving and that we would have to make a decision very quickly. We got some pain killers for her but she began failing over the next couple of days. I talked with my wife, and we agreed it was time for Tiff to cross the bridge. In our area we have a Vet that will come to your house to do the euthanasia. We both stayed home that day, played with her, talked to her, and gave her pureed fish so she could eat. She was an outside/inside Kitty, and I gradually started blocking her access so that she had to stay in the house. The vet came, and Tiff crossed the bridge peacefully in her mothers arms after we said our goodbyes. I felt like an executioner at the time but I came to realize that she was in a much better place chasing butterflies. She has a special spot in our yard that we now call the "Angel Garden". You did the right thing. It hurts like hell...but you did the right thing. Remember the good times.

post #15 of 24
How courageous of you to face that terrible experience without anyone to support you. Well, you have all of our support! It must have been a difficult decision to not go in with you baby, but I'm sure Boots understood and wouldn't have wanted to make it any harder for you. Now you can rejoice in the wonderful times that you had together and the fact that she is playing today in perfect health!
post #16 of 24
Mack, I am so sorry for your loss. I know what you are going through, as my wife and I had to have one of our babies put down also. You do not need to feel guilty, because you did the very best thing for your wonderful friend Boots. You have released her from her pain and she thanks you dearly for that. You do need to give yourself some time to grieve, no matter how long it takes. Maybe you shouldn't get rid of Boots' things. There could be another friend just waiting to share their life with you too. You will find a lot of comfort here, because we all understand the love you shared with your kitty. Boots has now crossed the rainbow bridge. She is now free of pain and enjoying the warm sunshine on her soft fur. One day, you two will meet again. Boots is now in Gods loving hands smiling down on you. She knows the pain you are going through, but thanks you for all the love and happiness you have given her. Rest in peace dear Boots:angel2: :angel2: :angel2: :angel2:
post #17 of 24
Mack, so sorry to hear of the loss of your mate, Boots. It'll be tough for a while, no less so than if this were a member of your human family, and you must give yourself permission to grieve. As a friend of mine used to say, it takes as long as it takes. And after a while, you'll start to feel better, to remember the good memories more than the difficult decision. Meanwhile, remember that you did the right thing for Boots, and she is free of pain and happy now, and when the time is right, she will send another sweet fur-person your way, to receive the love she knows you have in abundance.

Come here whenever you need to unload -- we all know your pain. Be good to yourself.
post #18 of 24
Hey Mack
You where right about the love going on here.
I'm a friend of Macks and Boots too.
Never will you of met a Cat with more attitude than that Lady
I can still see around five or six grown male adults (Humans)
on all fours trying their hardest to convince each other that they loved cats more than the other. I myself gave up after 15 minutes
Boots stopped paying attention after about 40 seconds.
It was always Mack.
Tho once she did climb onto my lap and for a moment I thought I'd been let into the club. Not to be. I had dropped a piece of sausage with I hadn't noticed. But still just for a second......
Mack is an Artist and Songwriter extrodinaire and all of his work
Boots was in his presence and I'm sure alot of his work has a direct
influence from Boot's being there.
And I'm sure she will continue to have his thoughts and shoulder and ankles.(Whether he likes it or sometimes not)
Anyone who knows Mack will not think that Boots was just "his Cat"
but his good friend, guardian of many secrets and his worst and best critic.Those that do will be instantly educated with a swift kick
to the "fur-balls"
Take it easy Mack and will speak to ya soon matey
Loads of love from the Loftys
post #19 of 24
im so sorry. I would get a new cat that looked similer to your lost one. it made me feel like i never lost my cat. maybe it will work for you.please read
post #20 of 24
Thread Starter 
Hi everyone

I've just found an old piccy of BOOTS. Thankyou everyone for helping me through this difficult time. I now feel a lot better.

I still miss my best mate ever... and I will never forget Boots.

Cats truly mirror the soul and the love they give truly inspire.

Lots of love


post #21 of 24
Thread Starter 
Cheers lofty

I really appreciated your thoughts there.

Love Mack
post #22 of 24
oh, Boots is gorgeous! Thank you for sharing this special photo! Glad to hear that you have overcome the most painful time of this difficult process. Of course you will never forget Boots as he remains in your heart. We continue to honor his wonderful life and all of the fun he is having now over the Bridge!
post #23 of 24
I can see why you loved Boots so much, what an adorable kitty Thank you for sharing the picture of your "best mate". I am glad to hear you are feeling better.
post #24 of 24
Awwww Mack she's a little beauty!!!.

I hope you feel a lot better soon, just take one day at a time, because losing your pet is like losing a family member, and only true animals understand that!.

It's lovely to have a friend who understands as well.

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