I can hardly function after having to put my cat to sleep

I made the decision to put my 5mo old kitten Ringo to sleep last night.  We went to the emergency clinic and I found out he had FIP.  The vet said there was no hope..I could bring him home and wait for him to stop eating and further weaken or I could end it now.  I chose to end it now. I sure hope I made the right choice.  The thought of bringing him home and watch him decline was too much for me.  I could not watch him suffer.  Even though the vet said he was not suffering yet I didn't want it to get through that point.  My family is devastated.  I try to comfort myself by saying that we gave him a home and love but it doesn't make it any easier.  I sure hope he felt how much we loved him. I just have to figure a way to cope with the guilt.  He looked at me with those trusting eyes and I made the decision to end his life.  I am having a hard hard time today

I'm so sorry you are struggling. I know I would be if I had to go through making the decision you had to. You loved Ringo with all of your heart and he was far too young and that's what makes this loss so hard. I'm writing this with tears in my eyes because I can only imagine how hard it was for you to let him go. Grief takes time to work through and everyone works through it in their own time frame.
I think that choosing to help ease Ringo over the Rainbow Bridge was the most brave, selfless and loving thing you could have done. Ringo did trust you. He trusted you to put what is best for him above all else. You did not fail his trust.

I'm so sorry for your loss of sweet Ringo.

[emoji]128149[/emoji]RIP little Ringo[emoji]128149[/emoji]

I know the feeling.  Those trusting eyes.  It still haunts me even after a year has passed and probably always will.  But I can function and one day you will be able to also.  Right now your grief is so fresh.  Those first days are awful, not going to lie.  But you will come to a deeper understanding and a different perspective as the days pass which will help ease the pain you are feeling right now.  I'm so sorry for your kitty Ringo and the pain of losing him.  Hugs.

I just miss him so much already.  In a way it was unexpected and in a way I think deep inside I knew something bad was wrong.  I have 3 other adult cats and they miss him too.  He was the baby.  The spark..The life of the party.  And if I didn't already feel terrible. Up all night crying.  We own a business and I had to come to work because we are shorthanded.  The first customer of day was a regular and when she walked in the door I burst into tears. 

fearlessbenjamn said:

I just miss him so much already.  In a way it was unexpected and in a way I think deep inside I knew something bad was wrong.  I have 3 other adult cats and they miss him too.  He was the baby.  The spark..The life of the party.  And if I didn't already feel terrible. Up all night crying.  We own a business and I had to come to work because we are shorthanded.  The first customer of day was a regular and when she walked in the door I burst into tears. 

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Oh I'm so sorry. FIP is horrible.

The trust that was in his eyes was trust that you would do what was best for him and you did. That's a heart and gut wrenching decision you made but you put his needs before your own wants and that is the ultimate act of friendship. Your doing this- as horribly difficult as it was- spared him from pain and suffering. It was the ultimate act of love. You are right. Ringo knew what it was like to have a home and a family and he knew unconditional love and friendship. If only every cat could be so fortunate.

That probably doesn't make you feel any better because the end result is still the same. Your little one is gone. What I hope gives you even a little comfort is the knowledge that his passing was peaceful and painless. He crossed over in a heartbeat and he is now whole and illness free. He is being cared for very lovingly over at the bridge and there are many other cats and caretakers to keep him company and help him adjust. He will never forget you. He knows that you spared him a painful existence. He does not blame you for his passing and he never, ever will.

I'm sure your other cats miss him too. All of you need to take comfort in each other. Give them extra kisses and cuddles. Hold onto those memories that you have of Ringo because he will absolutely hold onto the memories he has of you. One day you will meet again and when you do, he will thank you for being exactly the kind of friend he needed at exactly the right he needed it most. He'll tell you how much he loves you and missed you and your friendship will pick right back up again.

It's going to be all right. I know it's horrible right now but it will get easier as time goes on. We are here for you. We understand.

RIP Ringo. You will never be forgotten. Watch over your family as they grieve and help them to heal.

I am so, so sorry for your loss.  I lost an 8 month old baby this year to juvenile lymphoma so I understand your pain on a personal level.  FIP is indeed fatal and he surely would have suffered if brought back home.  At least you were with him and could comfort him.  I know it's still fresh in your mind, but perhaps looking for another life to save would be a healing option?  I normally adopt seniors and when one passes I immediately start to look for lives to save as a I have a vacancy in my heart.  Consider visiting shelters and keep the option open for yourself.  This is not a common malady but it does happen.  Most kittens are healthy and many are homeless.  In the meantime here is an angel with a kitten for you.

Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to heal.

I cannot express how thankful I am for everyone's kind words..They actually have helped me to not feel so much guilt and sadness..I want to remember Ringo as the wild child that everyone loved.  Many times in my life when something painful happens I tend to want to put it out of my mind and forget about it..i don't want to do that now..I want to remember my baby. I have his collar hooked to the belt loop of my jeans.  I keep telling myself that his time was limited from the beginning.  He was going to die.  He could have died in a shelter's cage and been thrown away.  But he became part of my family and he meant the world to us.  I pray that he knew how much we loved him.

fearlessbenjamn said:

I cannot express how thankful I am for everyone's kind words..They actually have helped me to not feel so much guilt and sadness..I want to remember Ringo as the wild child that everyone loved.  Many times in my life when something painful happens I tend to want to put it out of my mind and forget about it..i don't want to do that now..I want to remember my baby. I have his collar hooked to the belt loop of my jeans.  I keep telling myself that his time was limited from the beginning.  He was going to die.  He could have died in a shelter's cage and been thrown away.  But he became part of my family and he meant the world to us.  I pray that he knew how much we loved him.

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He knew so much love. I have no doubt about that.

fearlessbenjamn said:

I cannot express how thankful I am for everyone's kind words..They actually have helped me to not feel so much guilt and sadness..I want to remember Ringo as the wild child that everyone loved.  Many times in my life when something painful happens I tend to want to put it out of my mind and forget about it..i don't want to do that now..I want to remember my baby. I have his collar hooked to the belt loop of my jeans.  I keep telling myself that his time was limited from the beginning.  He was going to die.  He could have died in a shelter's cage and been thrown away.  But he became part of my family and he meant the world to us.  I pray that he knew how much we loved him.

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He absolutely knew then, he knows now and he will always know how much you loved him. He loves you just as much. he always did and he always will. The bond you have with him is forever. Nothing can touch it. Death stopped trying to break these bonds because after many attempts and dismal failures, it finally had to accept that it just cannot be done.

fearlessbenjamn said:

I cannot express how thankful I am for everyone's kind words..They actually have helped me to not feel so much guilt and sadness..I want to remember Ringo as the wild child that everyone loved.  Many times in my life when something painful happens I tend to want to put it out of my mind and forget about it..i don't want to do that now..I want to remember my baby. I have his collar hooked to the belt loop of my jeans.  I keep telling myself that his time was limited from the beginning.  He was going to die.  He could have died in a shelter's cage and been thrown away.  But he became part of my family and he meant the world to us.  I pray that he knew how much we loved him.

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He definitely knew how much you loved him. He wouldn't want you to be sad now. Life is very cruel when we are sent a kitten & he is taken away from us at an early age. I had the same experience as you recently. I am very sorry for your loss.

I am so sorry for your loss, you made the decision you did because you loved him so much. You didn't want him to suffer. I am certain he knew you loved him.

There is no way to rid one's self of those horrible feelings, it is a part of the grieving process and has to be gone through before the road to healing can be traveled. Those trusting eyes expected you to not let the suffering happen. From something as horrible and deadly as FIP,he had to be spared and you took on the suffering as your own broken heart.  He would be the last one to want you to be in such sorrow, he loved you too much for you to think of him and feel such pain. What you did you did out of love, you loved him too much to let him go through something that had no cure, that had nothing but pain and suffering. My heart cries for losing one so innocent and wanted, it cries for what you are going through now and for the emptiness in your home. Please know you are not alone in your pain and that we will share your burden and help in any way we can, I'll pray for you all. Take care........RIP sweet Ringo, you will never be forgotten and will be forever held in loving hearts!

Oh, so very sorry to hear of this, and we all know that agonizing heartbreak that is very much overwhelming at times. It is a devastating loss when we lose these little ones, but fortunately with time we heal and can look back and say "we did the best that we could for them", and have no regrets, he was sick and you spared him of some very bad times and pain, he loves you for it and you will see him again someday and he will be healthy and full of life.

God Bless, may your heart heal with time, you did what you did because of love......

I am still having  a rough day. I wish the tears would stop.  Still feel so sad and empty.  The emptiness is the worst.  I did get Ringo's cremation arrangements done and I will be able to pick up his ashes in a few days.  I want him to be home where he belongs.  Also I made a donation in his name to the shelter where he was adopted. I wanted to honor him.  He mattered to us.  Makes me feel a little better. Maybe that donation will help another "ringo" find his loving forever home.

[emoji]10084[/emoji]️[emoji]10084[/emoji]️Sending you big (((HUGS))) [emoji]10084[/emoji]️[emoji]10084[/emoji]️

I love the way you chose to honor Ringo. That donation will make a difference in the life of another "Ringo".

HelloMissKitty said:

[emoji]10084[/emoji]️[emoji]10084[/emoji]️Sending you big (((HUGS))) [emoji]10084[/emoji]️[emoji]10084[/emoji]️

I love the way you chose to honor Ringo. That donation will make a difference in the life of another "Ringo".

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Very true. 

"Sometimes one leaves to make room for another in need......"

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I am glad Ringo had the wonderful home he deserved.  Bless you and your family.  

I'm so sorry for your loss. I faced the same thing with Darcy, less than a year old, and when told she had FIP I chose to do what I could to make her remaining time as good as it could be. When the end finally came I could tell she was suffering. It is hard to watch them suffer though so much, and no kitten should ever have to have this horrible, horrible disease.  I'm sure that Ringo knew (and still knows at the bridge) that you loved him. 

So sorry for your loss. I understand the pain and trauma you're going through. Just give it time, and remember that you gave your kitty a good home and lots of love and that you spared him from pain and suffering.

I truly feel for you and so sorry that he was so young. I've had to make that decision several times and I'm lucky my cats were all older when I had to make it, but I never want them to experience suffering and pain because I am not willing to let them go. It's a hard and unselfish, and loving decision to spare him from what you know was inevitable. Grief has it's process and in time you'll focus on the love that the relationship was about and not the unhappy end of it. Peace to you and your other kitties.