Oh Noelsmama, what happy, strange and sad news all at the same time!
Given hubby's strong feelings about spaying her if she's pregnant, I have to say unless he ends up agreeing its best for her because going full term may risk her life (being so small), it sounds like you may be needing advice on how to take care of mama while pregnant, and what to do once she's had the kittens! Don't worry - we can help there too.
It sounds like the best course of action is to get your vet's advice on her condition and her ability to have kittens if she's pregnant. And I'd just be honest with my vet about using a low-cost spay service if she recommends that to save her life she be spayed. If we were in that position, I'd tell my vet that there's nothing I'd want more than to be loyal to the family fur-kid doctor, but because she's a rescue and an extension of a pretty large fur family already (which the vet already gets the business for), and there's been some friction because of the costs involved.... I'm sure she or he will understand. (You can always make hubby the "bad" guy if that makes you more comfortable - of COURSE you'd want to use him/her to perform the spay, but hubby insists you use a low-cost service....) Just keep in mind that you never know what might come out of that discussion. Our vet does not have low-cost spay/neuter services, but because of our rescue work, they only charged us $35 for the most recent male we brought in to be neutered! Vets understand well family conflict, budget problems, and will often try to help in animal rescue situations. But if she's going full term, then she'll need to see the vet every once in a while, and I'm sure your vet will understand.
BTW - people frequently call vets looking for kittens, so your vet may be able to help you place the kittens, if it comes to that.
If kitty is pregnant, and if the vet says she'll do fine going full term, then if you'd like to continue the discussion with your hubby about spaying her despite being pregnant (if that's the case), please feel free to visit www.straypetadvocacy.org
. We have a lot of information up about the terrible problem of animal homelessness in the U.S., and if he understand the extent of the problem, that will present a different moral dilmna in allowing her to have the kittens. It's really hard to choose when one feels that strongly about the value of life. What's more important? Unborn life or homeless life? It's really difficult, and there is no "right" answer. I don't think further fighting between you is worth it though! I think it's absolutely wonderful that he feels strongly enough about it that he's willing to pay to have the kittens early spay-neutered before going to new homes. Despite the fight you had, it's obvious he's got a big heart and wants to figure out the right thing to do.
My hubby was an actual cat-hater when the first stray turned up here. He was willing to help her out (initially) because she was always making a mess of the garbage. Of course, over time, she "grew" on him. And it turned out she wasn't the only one around here. She'd wormed her way into his heart by the time kittens (not hers, she'd been spayed) turned up in our yard.... Now, 3 1/2 years later... we have five rescued cats living with us, we've spayed/neutered and found homes for something like 30 cats, we've spayed and neutered and returned back outside something like 12 cats, rehomed six of those to barns, and.... he's so proud of his fur family he carries their pics around in his wallet! Go figure THAT one, LOL!
And all of this may be moot. She may just be showing the signs of being spoiled!
Please let us know what the vet says when you get a chance to go. That's probably the next best step (sorry about the late snowstorm! UGH! WHEN WILL IT END?!?!). Here's hoping she's not pregnant! But if she is, I'm really curious what your vet says about her ability to carry to term while being so small.
(((((Hugs)))) for the rough night - and maybe a few more rocky days.