Can't give them up

tararaboomdea

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I've posted about the two mothers and kittens we found ourselves with a year ago yesterday. I've got to face it; I don't want to give them up; I feel so fiercely protective of them (among other things, that awful but true commercial about the pets in shelters living years in cages.)

The neighbor thing has subsided, I think. I haven't heard anything from her since. Maybe she really is an animal lover.

My husband is allergic and not happy with the situation. OTOH, I've never really been happy with him (it's funny because it's true.) I've put up with so much from him over the last 30+ years, and now he won't accommodate me. The resentment is strong.

In my situation, to keep this many cats is crazy. I know it is. It's keeping me up at night. They are the sweetest bunch I've ever seen and bring me so much joy.

I'm so screwed.
 
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shadowsrescue

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You are in a very tough situation.  I could never ever give my all my kitties.  Fortunately my DH found a way to be involved.  He loves to build things.  I care for 4 outside ferals.  He has built them wonderful feeding stations and shelters throughout the years.  I also have 2 indoor kitties who he also builds things for.  He never ever liked cats and also was allergic.  Now he loves my cats.  As he has matured (aged!) he no longer is allergic.  He has found great joy in the kitties.

Is there a way to involve your DH?  Maybe he is resentful of the time you spend with them instead of him?  If you could involve him or ask him to share some of your experiences it might help.  Another thought is some counseling.  30 years is a long time. 

I am sorry you are in such a situation.  I hope that you can find a way to keep your kitties and work on things with DH too.
 

SeventhHeaven

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I've posted about the two mothers and kittens we found ourselves with a year ago yesterday. I've got to face it; I don't want to give them up; I feel so fiercely protective of them (among other things, that awful but true commercial about the pets in shelters living years in cages.)

The neighbor thing has subsided, I think. I haven't heard anything from her since. Maybe she really is an animal lover.

My husband is allergic and not happy with the situation. OTOH, I've never really been happy with him (it's funny because it's true.) I've put up with so much from him over the last 30+ years, and now he won't accommodate me. The resentment is strong.

In my situation, to keep this many cats is crazy. I know it is. It's keeping me up at night. They are the sweetest bunch I've ever seen and bring me so much joy.

I'm so screwed.

Hmmmmm Very hard choice the husband or the cats? can you humor him into compromising ? In the sites meme section there are even some cartoons covering this subject. Claritin works, other posters may offer solutions for allergies.
 
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StefanZ

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Yes, part of the question, is if he is allergic for real, or if it is a comfortable way to say no without needing to precise nor discuss much.

If he is allergic for real, there are tricks and ways to manage being a cat owner AND allergic.   The only exception is severy breathing allergies, where a full up attack is really life-threating...    I know some cat owners managed this too, but they take their own full responsibility.  AND do safequard with having double doses of strong medicines ready nearby, just to reach out even in full panic...

Please come back if you want have more tips on allergy-managing...
 
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