How to get a feral cat to warm up to a new cat?

Update: The separation of Sammy not being here for a period of time has certainly caused some backslide in the progress we had made, and we were forced to basically start all over again.  We've finally been able to put the cages right beside each other again, but IZZY is still having issues warming up to Sammy, and because she is so vocal about it, Sammy appears to be afraid of Izzy. 

This morning when my hubby went to let Izzy out of her cage she wouldn't come out, so he reached in to get her out and she bit him and drew the blood, so he said, "Fine then just stay in there."  He closed her cage back up and opened Sammy's cage to let him out.  Sammy was excited to come out, but not excited to have to walk past Izzy's cage to get out.  He walks very slowly and carefully past her cage (lol it's like he is tiptoeing past her as to not rock the boat), and he stays as far away from her cage as possible when going past. 

Even though I love her to death, I am the 1st to admit that Izzy having been100% feral when we got her can at times still be a big problem.  She can be the sweetest little girl one minute, and then the next be as mean as a rattlesnake.  I'm still working on how hard she bites, and how much claw she is using even during play time because she bites really hard, and drives her claws deep into our skin sometimes  She just doesn't seem to understand YET that it is not appropriate, and isn't allowed.  So anyway that is where we are at right now.  Izzy has come such a long way already, she loves all the dogs, but getting her to warm up to Sammy is still our main issue.  I'm still thinking they had a history when they were both outside, and it might not have been a good one.  So we continue to take one day at a time, and hopefully she'll figure it out in time. 

EXCITING UPDATE:  Izzy and Sammy spent about an hour together outside their cages today.  Izzy did some hissing and growling, and got in a few light smacks when Sammy got too close for comfort, but all in all, it was a very productive and important day for them both.  They ate tuna close to each other.  They both chased the laser light. One would chase it one direction, and the other would chase it the other direction.  When Izzy would chase it Sammy liked chasing her more than he did chasing the laser light, so that spooked her some, and she'd fuss a little.   

The biggest issue is still the way Sammy approaches her. We realized today for sure that he means her no harm.  But to her, since she is already fearful, he comes across too forceful.  He's so excited that there's finally another animal to play with because he's been trying to get our dog to play with him since day 1, but the dog is old, and grouchy, and just wants to be left alone.    Sammy gets into a low to the ground attack like position, and stares her down like he's going to attack her.  (This made me very nervous the 1st couple of times until I realized that he has no intention of harming her.  He's like a big ole Teddy Bear).  He charges at her full steam ahead.  It's hilarious because once he gets close to her when you think Oh no, he's going to pounce on her this time, he just stops, and lays down on his side wanting to play,  Unfortunately, he has already scared the heck out of her with his forceful approach, so she just hisses, and smacks him lightly on his nose, warning him to back off..  Sammy just turns around and walks off, and then tries it again in a few minutes.   

We plan to get them out a little longer each day until they get more comfortable with each other.  They also still sleep side by side in their cages at night.  Hopefully before long we will have a house where there are 2 precious kitties playing and running loose together all the time.  It will be so nice when no one has to be in the cage, or go to the basement while the other one is out, but we're taking it slowly, one day at a time.  I did take some pics of them while they were both out today, and I'll try to get those posted in the next couple days.   

That's wonderful!

Aw, Sammy reminds my of a dog I had, Teddy, who was so excited about playing whenever he met a new dog he'd accidentally scare them away, unless they were just as crazy as he was. (He's still alive and energetic, but he's my parents' dog now).

Eventually either Izzy's going to learn that Sammy's not actually going to hurt her, or Sammy will learn to tone it down, or they'll reach some sort of compromise, but there's probably going to be a lot of trial and error going on in the meantime. I'm glad things are starting to come together more!

@ hbunny, I'm so sorry I didn't see your comment until today.  Yes, he had a stuffed chicken that we had sent with him when he went back over there, but I didn't ask for it back when he returned home for that exact reason.  I wasn't taking any chances of packing those things into my house. 

@ Molly I suspect that they'll eventually figure it out in time.  Izzy does appear to want to be friends with him too, but she's just not completely there yet. (But she has come so far since we 1st rescued her).  When Sammy's not charging like a bull, she'll walk closer to him,  lay down on her side, and reach her little paw out towards him, etc.. He'll take that as a sign that it's alright to approach her again, but instead of approaching her in a calm manner, he'll do it in his typical Sammy charging way.. She'll again get scared, hiss, slap at him, and then run. (A lot of times when she runs Sammy chases her wanting to play, so lol poor ole Sammy will get another warning from her when he gets too close).   When she does slap him, she doesn't slap him hard enough to hurt him, (she just gives him a light warning to back off), and she keeps her claws in so she doesn't draw blood. When either of them are moving around in the house the other one isn't far behind them keeping an eye on where the other one is at, and what they are doing. 

When we do let them out together we have to put our old grouchy dog out on the glassed in porch with the other dogs because if Izzy hisses, and growls, and Sammy approaches her in his usual charging way, the dog jumps in between them, and goes after Sammy because Izzy is his buddy, and he's afraid Sammy is trying to hurt her.    So once we get the cats interacting peacefully together, we will then have to work with the dog to let him know that just because they are running, and chasing each other doesn't mean Sammy is out to hurt Izzy. LOL never a dull moment when you have a house full of fur babies.  .  

The kitties had another hour+ out together again yesterday.  Izzy is still not real thrilled about Sammy being out with her, so again she did some hissing, and slapped him a couple times when he got too close to her. 

This morning we tried something a little different, (When everyone 1st woke up, we let Izzy out of her cage, and also let Sammy out of his cage thinking maybe things would work out fine this morning with them both being out, but that was a fail.  Grouchy dog was also present in the room). 

With grouchy dog being present this kind of turned the tables and Izzy, I guess felt like she had some reinforcement, so she kept chasing and bullying Sammy,  instead of him chasing her like he usually does.  We had to calm grouchy dog down a couple times because he wanted to also get involved in the ruckus.   After a short period of time Sammy was getting tired of her chasing and bullying him, so he began turning around and slapping back.  I went ahead, and separated them until they both calmed down, then put them both side by side in their cages, gave them both treats, so they could end on a more positive note   So, we're going to go back to the way we were doing it, with grouchy dog out on the porch when they're out together. 

Night before last my husband said when she got up that Izzy and Sammy were in their cages, and had their little noses pressed together through the cage.  But lol our dear little Izzy is a Grudge Holder, and forgets nothing- (lol she's just a typical female I suppose). She for some reason now hates my husband, where she like him just fine before.  Every time he just tries to talk to her she hisses, and runs.  Last night when we put her and Sammy to bed, with their cages side by side, she kept slapping at Sammy through the cage, growling, and hissing, so I ended up having to move her cage over about a foot, so she couldn't reach him, and smack at him all night long.  Today their cages are back to being side by side, and she's acting just fine, For Now.  She's the type of kitty that can turn on a dime.  One minute she's sweet as can be and the next she turns into a growling, hissing, scratching, biting monster.     

The babies spent over 2 hours out together.  Sammy continues to do his bounding, full run, stop the second just before he gets there approach, and Izzy continues to hiss, and smack at him once he gets there., any other time she is relatively calm.   

I went into the bathroom, Izzy followed me in, and Sammy also followed closely behind, as both of them follow me like they are dogs.  When Sammy saw that Izzy was already in there, he slowly started backing out, and then turned around to run, but not before Izzy went into full Izzy mode, attempting to protect her momma from the big bad black cat, and smacked him on his bottom. So the socialization, and the togetherness attempts continue.  LOL Izzy is still being Izzy, and poor ole Sammy is walking around singing the War version of the song  "Why can't we be friends?"  Tomorrow is a new day. 

well if there diffrent genders then they may never like eachother but if i were you i would try locking them in a room together   WITH A LITTERBOX  if that dosent work then just try to let them warm up to eachother

Thank you Foxcat.  

We put them side by side in cages during the night, so they have no choice but to be very close to one another.  I think if Sammy would not get so excited, and approach her more slowly, and in a more calm manner, she would respond to him much better, but lol he's like a bull in a china shop when he comes flying towards her with his long hair blowing in the breeze.   He also makes a point of spending several minutes staring her down while he's in the pouncing position.  He sits there staring, and adjusting his back legs, and bottom waiting for the perfect moment to pounce.  She gets plenty of warning, by his excited actions, that he's fixing to come running towards her, so she's ready to smack at him the second he arrives.  They are a mess for sure.  I do hope in time they figure it out because I think they'd make really good companions, and playmates for each other. 

We had a pretty productive day today.  When we let Sammy out of the cage with Izzy within eye shot, my hubby petted Izzy the entire time, and no hissing or smacking on Sammy's way past her. 

Then she was sitting in the dining room chair watching his every move.  He went to walk past her about 2 ft away to get a drink of water.  She growled, and hissed at him,  I immediately told her No, and then after her correction, I started petting her, and told her it was alright.  I then went over to Sammy, and petted him and told him it was alright to go on.   She continued to sit in the chair, and after the correction, allowed him to go on past her to get a drink with no more growling or hissing. 

Sammy came back by, and about a foot from her he calmly laid down on his side in the floor.  She watched him there for a few minutes, and then she jumped out of the chair with a reminder from me as she jumped down to "Be Nice."  She walked right up to him, touched her nose to his, then she too laid down on her side.  Sammy reached out with his paw towards her like he does when they are in the cages, Izzy reached her paw out towards him too, and the actually played play slapping at each other and rolling around.   

I think Izzy possibly ended up getting too rough because Sammy jumped up, and took off running.  Izzy took off running after him, and ran him into a corner.  She was still slapping at him like she was doing in the floor when they were playing while he was in the corner, but I wasn't sure if they were, or weren't still playing, so I picked her up to get her away from him, and allow him to come out of the corner.  I put her in the bathroom for a couple of minutes.  Sammy went to the bathroom door, and waited for me to let her back out.   I turned her back out and she again chased him into a corner so to avoid injury I just went ahead and ended their session for today and put Izzy down in the basement (which is her fav spot).  Sammy went to the basement door, and just sat there waiting for her to come back out, but I decide to stop for today, let them sleep side by side in their cages tonight, and turn them out together again tomorrow. 

How rough does a Feral Cat Play?  When do you know if they are or are not actually playing? 

Things are continuing to go great.  Sammy and Izzy were out all morning long playing, and chasing each other, and having an absolutely purrrfect time together. After several hours out together, they were still at it, but it was apparent that they were both starting to get tired. They both are frequent nappers, but when they are both out together they are always on high alert for an ambush from the other kitty, so they don't stop to nap.  

I could tell they were both getting kind of aggravated with the other one because they were starting to get a little too rough with each other, one would attempt to hide, but the other would chase them out, lol in addition to knocking things off the shelves, etc.,  so I went ahead and separated them for awhile so they could both calm down, take themselves a good Cat Nap, and then be ready and rested to play again later this afternoon. 

 I really can't complain one bit about how well they played together today, and how well they are doing in general.  Izzy still has her Izzy days where she is mad at the world, so I avoid putting them together on those days because Izzy will take her issues out on Sammy, but her days like that are getting less and less.  I'm hoping in time Izzy's anger days become non-existent, and her and Sammy can become good friends, and can safely remain out together all the time.  

We let the kitties out together again yesterday afternoon, and they remained out the entire time with little to no episodes.  They did so well that we decide to not put them in their cages last night, and just let them stay out together.  They spent the entire night out together without our supervision, and did wonderful.  Not one time were we woke up by them fighting, and Izzy even got comfortable enough that she crawled on top of the cage in her pet bed and went to sleep, and Sammy came and crawled in the bed with us.   This morning when my hubby got up Izzy scratched on the basement door wanting to go down to her fav spot in the house, so he let her go down, and Sammy stayed up with him.  Right now Izzy is upstairs with everyone else, and is sitting in the kitchen window watching the birds and squirrels.  Sammy is also out, but she acts like it's no big deal.  So Yeah!!! I think we are well on our way to 2 kitties running free in our home, TOGETHER.  I'm so excited for them, and I'm also excited that I may soon be able to get those 2 huge cages, and that huge piece of black plastic, out of my living room floor.  I'll try to post their pictures today. 

http://s567.photobucket.com/user/Cr...D SAMMY/SAMMY_zpsx4odjnii.jpg.html?sort=3&o=0

Just click on the arrows in Photobucket to go through the pics.  Which cat is which is Titled below the picture. 

PICTURES OF IZZY AND SAMMY!!! LOL I hope.  It's hard to tell by the pictures but Sammy is long haired, and Izzy is short haired.  It's also hard to tell how much bigger Sammy is than Izzy, but when Sammy is laying out right from the tip of his paw to the tip of his tail he is a whooping 34" long. (I think his body is 17" and his tail is the other 17".   Little Izzy is a mere 20" long.  I'll try to get a picture of them side by side when I can so you can see the difference in them.  Sammy looks to be about 4 times bigger than Izzy. 

Woo! That's awesome! I know it must seem like forever for you, but they've developed a good relationship very quickly considering their situations. Great news!

Unless I'm just not getting it, which is very possible, I don't think I can see the rest of your photos besides the one Izzy picture. (She is beautiful by the way). It says the album is set to private.

Thank you Molly.  Yes, that was a day we weren't sure would ever come, but I'm so thrilled that it finally did get here so quickly.  They will be much better off not having to be caged, and separated multiple times a day, plus it will make it sooooo much easier on me and the hubby. 

 I changed the picture settings to public so now maybe it will let you see them all, there is only 4 of them,  2 of each kitty.  Please let me know if it's working correctly since this is my 1st attempt at posting links to pics on this site.  If it doesn't I go back in and just post the pics instead. 

We had a pretty odd, yet significant episode occur the other night.  It was one of the craziest things I've experienced with Izzy so far. 

Sammy and Izzy had been playing hide and seek, and chase all day long, for several hours, sometimes Izzy would chase Sammy, and then Sammy would chase Izzy (which before would scare her and cause her to act out).  There was absolutely no hissing, growling, or slapping from Izzy.  They were chasing each other through the living room, on one of their many laps that evening, and apparently Izzy got too close to Scruffy's (AKA Old Grouchy Dog) treat that he was guarding.  Scruffy growled, snapped, and proceeded to aggressively chase Izzy out of the living room (this is very unusual for Scruffy to turn on Izzy because generally he protects her, but apparently that treat was more important to him). 

No actual physical contact was made to Izzy, but this really upset her, and immediately changed her entire behavior.  She refused to go anywhere near the living room where Scruffy was at, and she sat in the kitchen floor literally loudly screaming, growling, and hissing like cats do when they are in a cat fight. (She had never done anything like this before).   She then began trying to take her anger, fear, or whatever she was experiencing out on Sammy.  I corrected her and told her no, and attempted to calm her down to no avail.  Sammy would attempt to go up to her to continue the game that they had been playing all day long, but she was having no part of it, and kept being very vocal, being very aggressive, and attempting to attack him.  Scruffy came to the kitchen to check on her and she was fine with Scruffy, my husband, and me, but not Sammy.  (I don't know if she thought Sammy was the one who chased her out of the living room or what)? 

But for Sammy's safety, I finally had to put Izzy in the basement for a couple of hours to give her a chance to calm down.  When I brought her back up, she still refused to go into the living room, started loudly screaming again, while sitting in the kitchen, and was still acting ugly towards poor ole Sammy.   I thought well crap this has apparently backslid her again, they've done so great the past few days, and especially all day today, but I'm either going to have to put Izzy in the basement for the night, or put them in their cages all night which is the 1st time in several days (since they finally became friends) that I've had to consider doing that. 

I thought I'm going to try 1 more thing before I put her back downstairs. So I picked Izzy up, and carried her to the living room where both Scruffy, and Sammy were at.  She was screaming, hissing, fighting me, trying to get out of the living room.  I let her see Scruffy and I rubbed him, and I let her see Sammy and I rubbed him, and I sat her down on her bed, started rubbing, and talking calmly to her, telling her to calm down that it was alright. 

I kid you not within I'd say 2 minutes, Izzy jumped out of her bed onto the floor went right over, smacked Sammy on the butt, and their friendly game of hide and seek and chase was on for several more hours. 

Like I mentioned before, Izzy is definitely a grudge holder, and attempting to get her to stop holding a grudge (lol be it warranted or not) is near to impossible sometimes, but sadly when she's mad at anybody, apparently poor ole Sammy is who she's going to take it out on.  Just smh.