My new addition to the family isn't working out...

Elsie is not warming up at all to the other animals. I think she used to be an only cat, which is why she can't seem to get used to them. I'm also just now finding out that girl cats tend to be competitive and territorial with each other, and Elsie lives with my other cat, Twila. Both are spayed. Both are territorial. Elsie is scared of Twila, Twila doesn't trust Elsie. So to avoid Elsie, Twila goes outside and plays in our yard all day long because she no longer feels safe in our house.

I'm trying to decide who among my friends could take Elsie and take good care of her. I can't return her to the shelter because I'm not a resident where I went to adopt her. And I don't want to put her in our local shelter because they still euthanize and I don't want to risk her being euthanized. She really is a loving cat, she just doesn't do well around other animals. The shelter where I adopted her didn't bother to give me much info about her before signing the contract...I tried to get info from them on each cat I was considering and they wouldn't tell me anything!

So here I am, looking for someone I can trust to take her in. I know a couple of people who would love to have her, but one of them isn't allowed to have a cat because her landlady doesn't want her to. The other one already has a lot of cats, mostly male, so I'm not sure how Elsie would handle that.

How long have you had Elsie? It can take time for resident cats and new cat to adapt to each other and figure out the new hierarchy.

What process did you take to introduce Elsie and resident cats? It's important to do slow introductions and even with slow introductions, things can take time to sort themselves out.

Here is a great TCS article in introducing cats that might help:

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/how-to-successfully-introduce-cats-the-ultimate-guide

How long have you had Elsie? Also, are they openly not getting along or are they ignoring one another?

Some cats can take a long time to warm up to one another, and even then just reach the stage where they can coexist in the same space. When we still had our Freya, she would usually take anywhere for 6 months-a year to accept new arrivals. 

Are you able to give each of them their own space within the house? Vertical space is great for helping with territory issues. Also, it may diffuse a few things if each has a space they know is "theirs." It may also not be a bad idea to take a look through some of our cat introduction articles. Your girls have already met, but there may be some suggestions in there to help smooth things over.
[article="32680"]How To Successfully Introduce Cats The Ultimate Guide  [/article][article="29726"]Introducing Cats To Cats  [/article]
I know we have quite a few members on this board who've dealt with similar issues, s hopefully some of them will have some more suggestions for you.

September 5th will be the 7 month mark of me introducing a new cat into my house.  Yes, 7 MONTHS!!  Older existing cat, 12 yearsold, 2 year old being introduced.  Both neutered males.  We are just now getting to the point of allowing short (very short) supervised "together" time.  We have been site-swapping for all this time, and each time one of them takes their turn during the day being "sequestered" they have view of each other between 3 baby gates stacked one on top of each other in a bedroom door.  I promise we had no idea it would take this long, but we love each of them so much we are willing to do whatever it takes, however long it takes.  Older cat is EXTREMELY territorial, would attack the newbie on sight (add to that my old dude is deaf, so that complicates things). 

However, I am seeing a shift in dynamics lately that seems to be for the good.  My newbie is now becoming more and more confident and will now walk up to the older guy, although sometimes it starts a howley/slappy session--depends on the older cat's mood and whether or not he startles him.  It is like the more confident my newbie gets, the better it is.  He is standing his ground with him now, when for the first 4 months or so he would run like his butt was on fire, and that just encouraged my old guy to chase and attack even more.  The first time my old dude chased him into the fireplace behind the fake logs and it scared him so bad he peed back there!!  The last slap-fest that occurred ended up with old guy just walking off.  Actually, he huffed off, and it seemed as though he was like WELL THEN!! when newbie slapped back.  And the last slap-fest that happened, no fur flew, no claws were out, and just a couple of yowls....it just looked like slappity-slappity-slap! with paws flying and then Wurp huffed off, but neither jumped on each other and did the rolling-fighting-biting-screaming-kicking thing (which used the be the outcome).  He went and got on our bed with his ego hurt, but nothing else. 

I don't have any advice really--I am using the tried/true methods the others provided you links to, and from watching the Jackson Galaxy videos.  However, some of those videos will leave you with the impression that it can happen in a few days, a week, a couple of weeks and that it is such an easy process (ha!)---I'm on month 7 and it has taken every single day of that with my two boys.  I think it depends on the cats the length of time, but I have learned that it takes some serious time for cats to form relationships--much longer than dogs or people.  Between my year and a half long experience of getting the 2 year old to convert from feral to able to be an indoor kitty, and this journey with these two going forward, I think they just take a very long time to gain trust.  My biggest question, if I were you, would be to ask myself if I was willing to put in the amount of time and whatever effort it takes to make it work and base your decision to rehome on that more than anything else.  We decided from day 1 we were in it for the long haul with our boys, and if we need to keep them separated in the house forever we will.  A lot of people seriously may not have the space in their house or the time to devote, and I can see how that would be an issue.  We are lucky we can accommodate this process.  If you really want to keep her--my only advice and that's from my experience only--be prepared for a journey.  But--ours has been fun, rewarding, and we have a big furry ball of sunshine as a great addition to our household.

Lots of luck and I sincerely hope you take on the challenge!! 

I am also curious as to ho long you have had Elsie. The article that others have provided a link to that goes over introductions is EXCELLENT. it really is the ultimate guide. 

Please don't give up on Elsie yet. have you tried Feliway? They have plug ins (similar to Glade plug in air fresheners and the like) and sprays. 

Is there a room in your house that can be just for Elsie right now? A safe room? Separating them right now is likely your best bet. Give Elsie some time to adjust and then do a reintroduction. Please do not think that you did anything wrong. You did not. This happens quite a lot when introducing cats to each other. it is normal. Take it slowly this time. They may never be besties but with time and patience, they very well may be able to coexist peacefully with each other. 

Many. many cats in a multi cat household simply coexist without ever becoming friends. It may not be your ideal situation but as long as there is no open hostility and no one is stressed or getting hurt, it is what it is. This could also change over time. Relationships between cats change over time just like relationships between people do.

I have 3 cats. My girls are related. Our boy is not related to them at all. They have always coexisted but they were never chummy with each other. The girls will play together but do NOT cuddle or groom one another. They just don't. They don't play with Henry but they were never mean to him. Lately, Henry has been seeking Sophie out and sleeping beside her- especially when she's on the bed with me. She's fine with it. They don't groom each other or anything like that, they just somewhat cuddle. Lily doesn't cuddle with anyone. She's the queen. Queens don't cuddle with their subjects. 

I think that time and patience is really what you need. Elsie came into your life for a reason. I have a feeling that all will work out. 

Thanks for the replies everyone, and sorry for the late response. I am giving Elsie another chance. She seems to be slowly warming up. She mostly just can't seem to get used to our small dog, Dakota. I don't know why, because she saw dogs all the time in the shelter. She actually meowed ad Twila yesterday in a "hey how's it going?" kinda way, which I thought was adorable lol. I've had Elsie for almost a month now.

I'm so glad to hear that.  I have always had bigger dogs, that weren't hyper and were just big furry rugs to the cats, so my cats were always pretty chilled around them.  Seeing as how your dog is used to being around another cat already so knows how cats are, maybe it will just take some warming up between them!

That made my day [emoji]128522[/emoji]!! I'm glad to hear that Elsie is settling in a little better. Some cats just take longer to feel comfortable. Please keep us posted on how she (and all of you) are doing [emoji]10084[/emoji]️

Hello!

Just wanted to jump in and say yes, introductions can take months. I've got one ongoing introduction that's at around 2 1/2 years now. I've got a very long running thread about it you can take a look at here if you're curious: http://www.thecatsite.com/t/283930/cat-introduction-woes

There's a lot of really good stuff in there!

We actually have both ends of the spectrum, after 2ish years we decided to add a third cat to the mix, and she and Sinbad were able to get along after just a few days. They're still working things out, but are generally good buddies already. She and the other resident cat, Tempest, aren't best buds, but they will cordially hang out a few feet away from each other.

Glad to hear you're giving Elsie a second chance. A month is not long at all.