Having a hard time choosing!

kcss22

TCS Member
Thread starter
Kitten
Joined
Aug 24, 2016
Messages
4
Purraise
0
Location
PA
While our cat Jynx was pregnant we decided we would keep one and 're-home the rest to responsible friends and family whom expressed interest. Unfortunately, two days after she gave birth 3 of the 5 kittens died. I now want to keep both kittens due to the circumstances and my other half is against it. His friends parents just lost a cat last year due to old age and they were interested in taking a male when they were ready. They also have another elderly male cat. Hoping they would no longer be interested because the two that survived, Alley and Shadow, are females. But, they did their research and are fine with taking her since she will be getting spayed anyway.I am having a really hard time choosing which kitten to go. They will be 12 weeks on Sept 3rd. My heart breaks watching how close they all are and knowing I have to give one up. I know it's a great family and either one would be taken care of but at this point I'd rather see the both go together or not at all. I know realistically keeping 3 cats isn't ideal. We have 4 boys, ages 19, 12, 10, and 2. Also, our female dog, Chops. I say if we are going to have 2, what's one more. I'm not a cat lady, just have a huge heart for animals. He says we can't tell them no at this point because they are anxiously waiting this whole time. Watching their behaviours I can come up with reasons why either one should go or stay. I'm so torn and want him to just understand.
 

Kat0121

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Feb 23, 2014
Messages
15,036
Purraise
20,363
Location
Sunny Florida
While our cat Jynx was pregnant we decided we would keep one and 're-home the rest to responsible friends and family whom expressed interest. Unfortunately, two days after she gave birth 3 of the 5 kittens died. I now want to keep both kittens due to the circumstances and my other half is against it. His friends parents just lost a cat last year due to old age and they were interested in taking a male when they were ready. They also have another elderly male cat. Hoping they would no longer be interested because the two that survived, Alley and Shadow, are females. But, they did their research and are fine with taking her since she will be getting spayed anyway.I am having a really hard time choosing which kitten to go. They will be 12 weeks on Sept 3rd. My heart breaks watching how close they all are and knowing I have to give one up. I know it's a great family and either one would be taken care of but at this point I'd rather see the both go together or not at all. I know realistically keeping 3 cats isn't ideal. We have 4 boys, ages 19, 12, 10, and 2. Also, our female dog, Chops. I say if we are going to have 2, what's one more. I'm not a cat lady, just have a huge heart for animals. He says we can't tell them no at this point because they are anxiously waiting this whole time. Watching their behaviours I can come up with reasons why either one should go or stay. I'm so torn and want him to just understand.
Hi there and welcome!! 


 I'm very sorry about the loss of the kittens that didn't make it. It's so hard when that happens. 


You certainly can tell them no. You need to put the kittens' needs first and it seems to me that you are doing just that. I understand that These people are upset about their loss but IMO, adding a kitten to the household wouldn't be the best idea- not for them or their resident elderly cat. They need to put that cat's needs first right now. Many older cats do not do well with kittens as they simply do not have the patience that a kitten requires- especially if they only want one. The kitten will drive the resident cat bonkers. This cat could very well also be grieving his lost friend right now. if they truly want another cat, what I would advise them to do is visit a local shelter or rescue and meet some middle age or senior cats that do well in a multi cat home. They can let the shelter workers know what their situation is and they can guide them to some good candidates. These cats are often the ones who are overlooked by potential adopters. If they handle the introduction process slowly, it can work out really well for all of them. 

If you really want to keep both and you can handle the extra expense (spaying, shots, etc) then keep them. Your older children can certainly help out. 

There's nothing wrong with being a cat lady anyway!! Most of us here are card carrying, flag waving members of the Cat Lady and Gentleman's union. 
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #3

kcss22

TCS Member
Thread starter
Kitten
Joined
Aug 24, 2016
Messages
4
Purraise
0
Location
PA
Thank you! I just joined this site, but I have been browsing on here since we took Jynx in. I appreciate the first hand knowledge and input. Nothing beats experience.
I want to apologize, I did not mean any disrespect regarding "cat lady". He tends to call me that when the discussion comes up. I'll use the, "we didn't choose them, they chose us.' We didn't plan on any cats but we took Jynx in when she was just popped up in our yard one cold November morning. You don't usually see a pretty long haired pure white cat as a stray. Getting back on the subject, you have a great point when it comes to their elderly cat and it makes sense. That will be my discussion tonight. His friend was to come over for a get together this past weekend but had to cancel. I was hoping I would get a chance to talk with him. I would like for them to know how I feel about it. The other half keeps saying this is how it works when cats have kittens, it's been happening for years and years. I do understand that. But these two need each other. As for affording it, you make it work. I never would have thought I could afford another child or the dog whom we rescued two months before the baby was born. [emoji]128522[/emoji][emoji]128522[/emoji]..No doubt, it does gets expensive but you make it happen. Thankfully, there are low cost spay/neuter mobiles in our area. I recently utilized them for Junction.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #4

kcss22

TCS Member
Thread starter
Kitten
Joined
Aug 24, 2016
Messages
4
Purraise
0
Location
PA
Thank you! I just joined this site, but I have been browsing on here since we took Jynx in. I appreciate the first hand knowledge and input. Nothing beats experience.
I want to apologize, I did not mean any disrespect regarding "cat lady". He tends to call me that when the discussion comes up. I'll use the, "we didn't choose them, they chose us.' We didn't plan on any cats but we took Jynx in when she was just popped up in our yard one cold November morning. You don't usually see a pretty long haired pure white cat as a stray. Getting back on the subject, you have a great point when it comes to their elderly cat and it makes sense. That will be my discussion tonight. His friend was to come over for a get together this past weekend but had to cancel. I was hoping I would get a chance to talk with him. I would like for them to know how I feel about it. The other half keeps saying this is how it works when cats have kittens, it's been happening for years and years. I do understand that. But these two need each other. As for affording it, you make it work. I never would have thought I could afford another child or the dog whom we rescued two months before the baby was born. [emoji]128522[/emoji][emoji]128522[/emoji]..No doubt, it does gets expensive but you make it happen. Thankfully, there are low cost spay/neuter mobiles in our area. I recently utilized them for Junction.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #5

kcss22

TCS Member
Thread starter
Kitten
Joined
Aug 24, 2016
Messages
4
Purraise
0
Location
PA
Utilized them for Jynx, not junction!
 

Kat0121

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Feb 23, 2014
Messages
15,036
Purraise
20,363
Location
Sunny Florida
Thank you! I just joined this site, but I have been browsing on here since we took Jynx in. I appreciate the first hand knowledge and input. Nothing beats experience.
I want to apologize, I did not mean any disrespect regarding "cat lady". He tends to call me that when the discussion comes up. I'll use the, "we didn't choose them, they chose us.' We didn't plan on any cats but we took Jynx in when she was just popped up in our yard one cold November morning. You don't usually see a pretty long haired pure white cat as a stray. Getting back on the subject, you have a great point when it comes to their elderly cat and it makes sense. That will be my discussion tonight. His friend was to come over for a get together this past weekend but had to cancel. I was hoping I would get a chance to talk with him. I would like for them to know how I feel about it. The other half keeps saying this is how it works when cats have kittens, it's been happening for years and years. I do understand that. But these two need each other. As for affording it, you make it work. I never would have thought I could afford another child or the dog whom we rescued two months before the baby was born. [emoji]128522[/emoji][emoji]128522[/emoji]..No doubt, it does gets expensive but you make it happen. Thankfully, there are low cost spay/neuter mobiles in our area. I recently utilized them for Junction.
There's no need to apologize. We don't take ourselves that seriously and we are glad you're here! 


You are 100% right. They do choose us. It's not the other way around. They decide who they will allow to serve them. 


Kittens from a litter are very often separated but if they are bonded to each other and to you then keep them together. You do not owe anyone any apologies or excuses as to why you do not want them separated. You are simply looking out for their best interest. Yes- you do make it work. I couldn't agree more. Low/no cost spay and neuter clinics are a Godsend. 

When you break the bad news to them, make sure that they know that you are trying to put the needs of their resident elderly cat first as his feelings need to be taken into consideration. No one knows how much longer they will have him and his golden years should be as happy and stress free as possible. A kitten would demand too much of his attention and this could cause undue stress which could compromise his health. No one wants that. 
 

weebeasties

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Jul 14, 2016
Messages
1,286
Purraise
4,022
Location
Florida
 
 if they truly want another cat, what I would advise them to do is visit a local shelter or rescue and meet some middle age or senior cats that do well in a multi cat home. They can let the shelter workers know what their situation is and they can guide them to some good candidates. These cats are often the ones who are overlooked by potential adopters. If they handle the introduction process slowly, it can work out really well for all of them. 
Totally agree. It's not like there is a shortage of cats/kittens at shelters especially at this time of year. You should keep your girls and let them adopt from a shelter. One extra life saved!
 

Primula

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Sep 1, 2010
Messages
6,838
Purraise
533
Location
Connecticut, USA
It's entirely up to you what happens to the kittens - nobody else. You have cared for them since birth. My foster cat birthed 3 kittens last fall. I kept the male & I begged the shelter I got momma from to keep his sisters together. They honored my wish. Four million animals get euthanized every year in America so there are plenty out there to choose from.
 
Last edited:
Top