hmmm......actual gifts that i pick out or gift cards.
most times i either bake something or give a gift card, sometimes both. if it's someone who has a cat or dog, i'll include gifts for them too.
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Monday's Question of the Day - August 22, 2016
- Thread starter MoochNNoodles
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It depends on who I'm getting the gift for. Both of my sons and my granddaughter have stated categorically that THEY want Amazon gift cards. I prefer to GET Amazon gift cards...Oh, that moment of POSSIBILITIES! If I know someone well, and the gift is for an event, I buy. Unless I know them well enough to know that a quiet gift of cash is what is most needed. I do love to shop for people.
No, a woman usually only has one baby shower no matter how many kids she subsequently has. If a friend has a child though one does buy a gift subsequently even if there is no baby shower. Baby showers are good, I think. Helps the mother get a ton of stuff she needs for her 1st baby.
To answer the OP I always give cash or gift cards, usually the latter. There's nothing worse than giving or being given a useless gift.
I suppose that kind of makes sense, but I've never heard that before. Definitely not in the Midwest! Any excuse for a hen party, dontcha know
. I've gone to baby showers for the 5th kid. Of course you give more consumables like diapers and formula, not stuff like clothes and furniture, but goodness, if there's no baby party the ladies won't know what to do with themselves!
You're right. That's why I used the word "usually". Before I retired we had a receptionist who was having her 2nd child - her first since we had known her. She was a single mom & I was sad when my colleagues said it wasn't appropriate to give her a baby shower. They were adamant about it so those of us who wanted to gave her baby gifts later. I remember also a friend who was adamant that I not give her a baby shower in the office for her 2nd child. She said this just wasn't done.
In this area a baby shower is usually only for the first baby and a bridal shower only for the first wedding. It is fine to give a gift for a second or subsequent child but the shower is usually only done for the first baby. An open house/party is often given for the 50th wedding anniversary. That is usually when the charitable donation in lieu of a gift is often seen.
In Japan the guests are expected to pay for the wedding. If you get invited you have to take a long a cash gift of either 30,000 or 50,000 yen, depending on how well you know the couple. It's bad luck to give even amounts of money, 20 or 40, because this can be easily divided in two and symbolises separation. The money all goes to pay for the dresses (Almost always rental) hire of the wedding hall, food and drink and what have you. A Japanese wedding costs upwards of 2 million yen. Stupid amount of money to spend, IMO.
Most of the time, I prefer to give gifts - I like the wrapping and decorating aspect on top of being able to give something more special/personal!
I find requesting money is rude and greedy. The last two weddings I've been to were cash - and it was explained that it was to also help pay FOR the wedding. I'm sorry, but if you want a wedding, let alone a big one, that is your responsibilitydon't make everyone else foot the bill. They are your guests, not a free pay day. And it was worse for one of them, the father of the bride requested up to a $400 cash gift from each person. Thankfully my grandmother became quite stern with that request.
It's fashionable to have a western style White Wedding with a foreign looking priest. I used to work with a British guy who was a teacher Monday to Friday then donned his robes to work as a vicar every weekend. He used to get paid a lot because he had grey hair, blue eyes and a British accent. People thought he looked like the real thing.
That makes sense. I guess no one needs a second crib or changing table once their first baby has outgrown it.
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- #28
I have noticed more second baby showers than second bridal showers. Most; like mine, were smaller and informal with just closer friends. It seems to depend on the people. Maybe it's becoming generational. I remember years ago my Gram had A LOT to say about some second or third cousin making a big-to-do for her second marriage. Gram could have gold-medaled in ranting back in those days.
A couple friends are having surprise babies this year. They have older kids and will have age gaps of 8/9 and 13 years between their kids. So at this point they don't have "baby stuff" anymore and friends have thrown showers for them. That seems more reasonable. But these friends have also been out at garage sales and on craigslist looking for deals on those bigger ticket items and what not.
Those still bother me a lot less than basically being told they only want my cash.
A couple friends are having surprise babies this year. They have older kids and will have age gaps of 8/9 and 13 years between their kids. So at this point they don't have "baby stuff" anymore and friends have thrown showers for them. That seems more reasonable. But these friends have also been out at garage sales and on craigslist looking for deals on those bigger ticket items and what not.
Those still bother me a lot less than basically being told they only want my cash.
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Norachan
, I've never known anyone give a baby shower, or even a bridal shower. Maybe I just haven't known many people who've got married (or many people at all...I'm a bit of a hermit :lol3: ). I have got gifts for friends when they've had babies though - baby clothes for an old friend (who's more like a little sister, tbh) as I knew money was tight, and I made a sun catcher for a friend more recently - I figured the baby would enjoy the dancing rainbows they produce [emoji]127752[/emoji]
In general, I much prefer giving gifts to cash/gift cards - and if I can make them myself, so much the better Having said that, I always get mum an Amazon card as part of her birthday and Christmas presents (she loves finding old and out of print books second hand on Amazon), and we mostly give my young cousins Amazon cards too - we've only met them once, when they were very small, and they love being able to pick things out for themselves.
Oddly, though, I often prefer getting money/gift cards to gifts myself - especially from extended family who I'm no longer in regular contact with. It's not about being mercenary, just that we don't know each other very well anymore. I never ask for or expect gifts from them though....and I think that's the crucial difference
Norachan
, I've never known anyone give a baby shower, or even a bridal shower. Maybe I just haven't known many people who've got married (or many people at all...I'm a bit of a hermit :lol3: ). I have got gifts for friends when they've had babies though - baby clothes for an old friend (who's more like a little sister, tbh) as I knew money was tight, and I made a sun catcher for a friend more recently - I figured the baby would enjoy the dancing rainbows they produce [emoji]127752[/emoji]In general, I much prefer giving gifts to cash/gift cards - and if I can make them myself, so much the better
Having said that, I always get mum an Amazon card as part of her birthday and Christmas presents (she loves finding old and out of print books second hand on Amazon), and we mostly give my young cousins Amazon cards too - we've only met them once, when they were very small, and they love being able to pick things out for themselves.Oddly, though, I often prefer getting money/gift cards to gifts myself - especially from extended family who I'm no longer in regular contact with. It's not about being mercenary, just that we don't know each other very well anymore. I never ask for or expect gifts from them though....and I think that's the crucial difference
Not in the Deep South, either. Lord, I wouldn't be the least surprised to get a baby shower invitation for the neighbor's cat. We're talking cheese straws and sausage balls here, any excuse to have those is a good one. And any shower of any sort without at least one of the two is judged a sad affair.I suppose that kind of makes sense, but I've never heard that before. Definitely not in the Midwest! Any excuse for a hen party, dontcha know. I've gone to baby showers for the 5th kid. Of course you give more consumables like diapers and formula, not stuff like clothes and furniture, but goodness, if there's no baby party the ladies won't know what to do with themselves!
Haha, around here it's hotdish and some kind of Jello-based salad.
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I think gift cards can be impersonal when not asked for. For friends I usually give gift cards because honestly I have no idea what they would like from me and it's the thought that counts.
But for my immediate family (parents and brother) I like giving personal gifts on birthdays, mother's day, father's day, and Christmas. But with Christmas, they will get physical presents and a gift card or 2. My family and I only do gifts with each other on Christmas any way because we have found some family are less appreciative... my best friend and I send each other gifts, too but that's about it.
But for my immediate family (parents and brother) I like giving personal gifts on birthdays, mother's day, father's day, and Christmas. But with Christmas, they will get physical presents and a gift card or 2. My family and I only do gifts with each other on Christmas any way because we have found some family are less appreciative... my best friend and I send each other gifts, too but that's about it.
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Huh. That's no shower atall. Gots to have the cheese straws and the sausage balls. But then, you're South Dakota, and I'm South.
I got pregnant at 16 and we got married. I was working at our local hospital back then, after school as a kitchen slave. One of my co-workers had a baby shower for me. It was the only one I had and I thought it was wonderful. She had never given one and had no idea what to do with it. I had never been to one, so I had no idea what to expect. There were no games; she didn't know she had to have any. We had punch and she had ordered a gorgeous cake. Afterward, I opened gifts and they were wonderful. I think there were about 20 people there. I never expected a thing, so when Rick said that we were going out for an early dinner, I believed him. I thought it was a grand shower!
(And I made sure I wrote Thank You notes for the wedding gifts and for the baby shower gifts! My grandmother made sure of that!)
Back then, the grandmother-to-be was not allowed to do a baby shower for her daughter. I think it was OK for an aunt or a cousin or a GF to have one, but the grandmother-to-be could not. Now? When both of my nieces got pregnant, my sister and BIL had the baby showers for them. Very simple, at a local Italian restaurant that had a banquet room. I contributed toward the costs for both of them, but they were the ones who had the showers. We talked about etiquette for showers and I said I'd just have them, but my sister was adamant that she would do them.
(And I made sure I wrote Thank You notes for the wedding gifts and for the baby shower gifts! My grandmother made sure of that!)
Back then, the grandmother-to-be was not allowed to do a baby shower for her daughter. I think it was OK for an aunt or a cousin or a GF to have one, but the grandmother-to-be could not. Now? When both of my nieces got pregnant, my sister and BIL had the baby showers for them. Very simple, at a local Italian restaurant that had a banquet room. I contributed toward the costs for both of them, but they were the ones who had the showers. We talked about etiquette for showers and I said I'd just have them, but my sister was adamant that she would do them.
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I had two baby showers when I had my daughter but she was already born for both. One was a joint shower with my husband's cousin who was due a month before me (but my baby came 2.5 months early). The other was with my friends and family. I did not have a shower with my second (those here are typically called a baby sprinkle).
To answer the original question, I prefer giving actual gifts unless it's to a teenager. They get gift cards, usually to the movie theater.
To answer the original question, I prefer giving actual gifts unless it's to a teenager. They get gift cards, usually to the movie theater.
A baby sprinkle? Never heard that phrase, but it sure does make sense.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #37
Ugh I'm no good with games! I only did them for my best friend's shower because SHE likes them!
I got pregnant at 16 and we got married. I was working at our local hospital back then, after school as a kitchen slave. One of my co-workers had a baby shower for me. It was the only one I had and I thought it was wonderful. She had never given one and had no idea what to do with it. I had never been to one, so I had no idea what to expect. There were no games; she didn't know she had to have any. We had punch and she had ordered a gorgeous cake. Afterward, I opened gifts and they were wonderful. I think there were about 20 people there. I never expected a thing, so when Rick said that we were going out for an early dinner, I believed him. I thought it was a grand shower!
(And I made sure I wrote Thank You notes for the wedding gifts and for the baby shower gifts! My grandmother made sure of that!)
Back then, the grandmother-to-be was not allowed to do a baby shower for her daughter. I think it was OK for an aunt or a cousin or a GF to have one, but the grandmother-to-be could not. Now? When both of my nieces got pregnant, my sister and BIL had the baby showers for them. Very simple, at a local Italian restaurant that had a banquet room. I contributed toward the costs for both of them, but they were the ones who had the showers. We talked about etiquette for showers and I said I'd just have them, but my sister was adamant that she would do them.
More and more now it seems like showers are given by the grandmother-to-be. My best friend's sister and I started planning her shower and then their Mom let us know that she had been wanting to give the shower. We ended up doing separate ones for her. We didn't expect her to want to do one; being the Grandma. I think she felt she wanted to do something for her because it was her first grandchild and the baby would be born on the other side of the world. She knew she wouldn't be able to help her through those early weeks.
The one I got the invitation to this week is being hosted by both grandmothers. My cousin's shower last weekend was hosted primarily by the grandmothers; but both Aunts-to-be and my Step-mother contributed things like centerpieces, balloon decor, and a candy bar. Unfortunately it seems very few pictures were taken so I have only seen a few pictures. Sometimes I really hate being so far from family.
I have heard that before! Thats a cute way to put it for a second baby.
What is a physical gift...?
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One that isn't a gift card.
Like a movie, books etc.
One that isn't a gift card.
Oh haha. I thought they were all technically 'physical' gifts but I am a smart alec.
