Harry's Last Day

Please forgive me for writing more about Harry's death, but the pain of thinking about his last day is immense & I'm thinking that if I write it out I may be able to obtain some closure. So here goes.

It was a beautiful day on July 20 when we drove Harry to a vet hospital in Middletown, CT, about 30 minutes away. Harry had a 9 a.m. consultation with the surgeon for a full-mouth extraction, which is the only thing this vet does. I was worried that Harry would get upset in the car, but he was fine. We got there early & immediately saw the surgeon & were processed in. The vet had my own vet's notes on Harry & no problems whatsoever were foreseen. Surgery would take around 3 hours & we could collect him later.

In the afternoon the office called & said they would keep him overnight since his surgery was the longest & would be the last one of the day. Finally, at around 6.40 p.m. the surgeon called to tell me that everything went very well. Harry's teeth were all removed & the surgeon was very pleased that his juvenile gingivitis was localized to the gum line & had not spread to the back of his throat. I was assured that Harry would not miss his teeth one bit & that he would lead a healthy life from now on. He told me that Harry was awake now and in about 30 minutes they would feed him & that we could collect him the next day. Five minutes later the surgeon called back. He had gone back to Harry & found that he had gone into cardiac arrest & died. He was upset & told me he had no idea why this happened.

What pains me so much is the thought of my little man being in a cage for at least 6 hours scared, worried & without food. (Food meant everything to Harry.) I don't blame the surgeon for what happened - Harry most likely had an unknown heart condition - but I do blame him for making me bring him in so early for a procedure that probably didn't begin until 3 p.m. I asked my vet if Harry could have shocked himself into a heart attack post-surgery & she said it can happen to some animals (rabbits, e.g.), but not usually cats.

Thanks for listening.




HARRY 9/6/15-7/20/16

what a beautiful little guy I am sorry. Sadly there are not words that will help you at this difficult time but know that we grieve with you and know the anguish you are in. Hugs

Thanks. I definitely feel better since I wrote it all out.

I've always tried to explain the pain as a wave in the ocean.  At times it is a gentle swell that we can manage and almost believe that everything ahead is calm, and then with no warning what so ever, a Tsunami crashes in and overwhelms us once more, drowning us in a ocean of sorrow and anguish.  You are right when you say the telling of our stories helps with the pain of a broken heart, it releases a little of the anguish in the telling, a burden shared is a burden lightened.  You had absolutely no way to know something like this would happen. It is tragic and and heartbreaking, and there is absolutely no way to turn back that clock and go back, no matter how much we would give to do so. Going over all the details brings nothing but grief, believe me, I know. You have to believe that Harry is at peace now, he knows you were doing what you thought was in his best interest, you acted out of love and that can never be wrong. He loves you too much for you to be hurting so bad, you would not want him to go through what you are if the roles were reversed. Harry will always be with you, through the special bond you have and in your precious memories. Let your grief out and tell him what you feel, he will hear you and send comfort, you were his everything and that will never change.

Do good in his name, in this way you honor his life, he brought you so much. It is still good to have had him in your life, you wouldn't give up that part of your life to escape the pain, it is too precious to give up, so now we go through the sorrow when they leave us.He would be so honored to have you pass on his legacy of love to another little soul who so desperately needs someone. And if you can't accept another in your life, then find a home for the homeless, or pay for the adoption of one at the shelter. It makes you feel better to know you are honoring that special boy in that way, that somehow out of such grief and sorrow can come good.

My heart cries for what you are going through, I know too well the pain. Maybe one day when you are stronger you will return to this site and comfort others who are so filled with grief. I find comfort in comforting others and you can too. Only those who have been there know how much it hurts. Please know you are not alone in your suffering, together we can find peace once again, and will love again, it just takes time........ 

Once again Di and Bob as well as others have come through with WONDERFUL posts with great advice, I hope it helps you deal with this loss. I know that it has helped me to talk on here, and I also now find myself trying to help comfort others in their time of loss and pain, as well as to be comforted in my times of loss. It helps me to talk about it, it is my way of working things out, but Deb is the opposite, she has a hard time talking about things bad like this, prefers to just deal with it in her own way and let time pass and heal, but everyone reacts differently.

I can understand what you are dealing with; when Skipper passed away the other week and we came home and found him dead, Deb felt so badly that he was alone, we both hoped that his ending wasn't painful and she said "I wish that I could've been here to hold him at the end", but her sister, knowing how he was more to himself, had some advice saying "he probably wouldn't have wanted that, he didn't let you hold him before so he probably wouldn't have wanted it then", but we'll never know. We can say what if and maybe we should have or we should have done this or that, but we make the best decision that we can at the time and go from there. It sure is tough, and hurts like crazy when we lose these little creatures who cannot talk and tell you what is wrong, and we feel so responsible for them that when they do pass we feel that we still need to care for them and perhaps should've done something else, but their time here is usually just a fraction of our time, but in that short time you gave Harry a GREAT life, he knows it and loves you for it, and is no longer in any pain, and you will be reunited one day with your precious little boy.

God Bless, your heart and mind will heal with time, and people here certainly do understand. I know some people are surprised that me, a 220 pound male cares so much about cats, most guys are dog people, but I have a very soft spot for the little felines as well as dogs and ANY animal, so I know how hard it is to lose a little pet that was under our care!

Primula I am at a loss for words. I truly am. Just know that I am crying right along with you. My heart is breaking for the pain you are in. I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone. I wish I had some magic words to say to help ease your pain. I am so truly sorry for your loss. Harry is so sweet looking and was so young. Totally unfair what happened, but one just never knows. The vet says my kitty may need some tooth extractions, but I am terrified. I feel something will happen during the surgery. All surgeries are so risky.Harry was a happy kitty and loved you. He still does, and he knows how much he was loved. May you one day think of your sweet Harry with more smiles than tears. Hugs to you during this very difficult time.

Thanks to everyone for the lovely thoughts & wishes.