Sensitive, Shy, Older Cat Can't Accept New Kittens and Acts Isolated and Depressed

Hello,

We have a five year old kitty named Jade. When we got her, she had an older sister named Precious and it took about a month for Precious to accept her, but in time she did. We lost Precious about four months ago, and about five weeks ago we were adopted by two friendly but stray sister kittens named Wicket and Gizmo that a friend had taken in. We brought them home, set them up in our master bath, and eventually gave them run of the bedroom too in the daytime. 

We did some scent swapping and let Jade get a glimpse of the two kittens. On occasion we would bring them out, and she hisses and growls at them, while smacking her mouth. At first, Jade was depressed, wouldn't eat, and wouldn't come out of the room she hangs out in on the other side of the house. I started working with her, giving her extra attention, and continuing to expose her to their scent. She started to do a little better, but would still hiss at the kittens literally every breath. The two kittens have been quarantined too, which doesn't help matters, since we are trying to kick coccidia. We are doing what the vet recommends. A couple of times, I think we rushed her because we let the kittens out just to walk around a bit in the main room where Jade was, and she hissed and growled, and she will run away to the other room. Her hissing is non stop, and she makes weird smacking sounds like right before she throws up. One or two times she swiped at a kitten, but I don't think she used claws. The kittens seem oblivious to her hisses and growls. 

I have been taking time to play with the cats, and I have been taking time to sit with Jade, take her outside to hang out supervised, which she likes to do, and to play with her with the fishing pole toy, which she begs for multiple times a day. The past few days though, she has started acting depressed, laying around all the time, not wanting to play, and barely responding when I call her to go outside with me. I don't see, feel, or detect any visible health problems, but while she is an indoor cat, we are having an extreme heat wave here that might explain some of that. We have had the kittens five weeks, I work at home, and I have an anxiety and fatigue disorder, so this is kind of wearing me out mentally and physically. I knew there would be a lot of work when we got the kittens, because I've had cats all my life, but I feel like I got more than I bargained for.  I know that cats can pick up on anxiety, so I try to stay calm and upbeat with Jade, using a good tone of voice. With one of our kittens having chronic diarrhea from the coccidia, and us having to change the litterbox every day and clean her up, I feel like my home has become more like a barn. It is constant stress, even though I'm still trying to keep a positive outlook.

I'm not sure what to do to help Jade adapt. I'm not sure if she will ever like the kittens, but I do want to start with getting her to tolerate them. I have hit a plateau and can't seem to make any more progress. I have used scent swapping, giving her extra attention, spraying cat nip around her toys and food, and doing other enhancement and stimulation activities and things. She has always had a skittish and sensitive disposition, and I've always coddled her a bit, because I feel like I can identify with her. When she was a kitten, she was so shy, it took months and months of working with her to get her to even come out and interact. With these new kittens, I'm not sure what to do next. She's still hissing at the kittens' scent after five weeks, and I don't want the kittens in my bedroom forever, esp. after they are in the clear with the coccidia. I get very nervous and stressed about this because of my anxiety, and I just have my hands full right now. Do you have any feedback, advice, or info to help Jade get over this hurdle, and to ease this process? She doesn't eat treats, so we can't get her calming treats, but I have thought about calming products. I guess this post is as much about a stressed kitty mom as much as it is a stressed kitty.

Thanks,

Firejade

Can someone please help and give feedback? Taking older cat to the vet today, even though she literally has to be sedated just to be examined. I'm at my wit's end, and have never rehomed any cat I've adopted, but thinking about rehoming the kittens . . . 

Hi @Firejade and I'm sorry about the delay.

I'm thinking you are back from the vets and am wondering how that went?

We have a really excellent article about introducing cats.. rather than give suggestions right now, could you have a look at it and see if there's anything that you haven't been doing?

 [article="32680"]How To Successfully Introduce Cats The Ultimate Guide​[/article]  

Let us know if any of that is helpful.

It can take a long time, and I do understand that Jade is really sensitive. 

Hello,

We lost a kitty that wouldn't eat about four months ago after weeks of tests, treatments, trying to force feed, etc. We have two new kittens with coccidia locked in our bedroom/bathroom because our current kitty Jade won't eat, and now our adult cat Jade has gingivitis, has a fever, lays around lethargic and depressed, and has only eaten a few bites of food in three-four days. I'm very concerned because we've already gone through something similar with another cat just a few months ago. The vet gave her antibiotics and mirtazapine to stimilate her appetite. She's burning up and the appetite stimulant isn't helping much. It's only gotten her to eat a few bites of food a day.

I'm burned out from my last kitty passing, from work and from all the cleaning and caring for kittens locked in my bathroom bedroom because they have coccida. Now we have a sick adult cat who won't eat. I can't get a break from caring for sick animals. Jade doesn't like the new kitties, and I'm just exhausted. I've been having panic attacks at the prospect of her not eating and something happening to her since I can't access a vet again until Monday. The thought of caring for the kittens and force feeding her four times a day is exhausting. She still won't eat much even with the appetite stimulant, and I'm pretty sure the gingivitis (her gums are red and bleeding) might be the reason she is feverish and not eating. It's Saturday, and the vet is closed until Monday, and I'm not sure what to do. I've been sick and having a panic attacks. I'm exhausted and need a break, and I'm worried about my kitty. She has been drinking water, and we force fed her a bit of chicken broth, but not much. She fought us very hard. Last night she did eat a few bites of food, and a few this morning, but that's it. I appreciate any advice. I wish the vet were open. I need help!

Thanks,

Rachel

Two months and little progress introducing two kittens to older cat and nothing but bad luck. 

Hello. About two months ago my husband and I adopted two sister kittens that were about six weeks old after losing our kitty Precious in March. We have adopted other cats and know the realities of adopting kittens. Generally, it has taken a month or two to integrate kittens, and we have had maybe one round or worms or upper respiratory with a kitten we adopted. We usually keep them in our bedroom in the day and bathroom at night to separate them. 

We have a five year old kitty named Jade who is a bit insecure and prone to nervousness. When we got the kittens, we knew it would take some time to integrate them. I work at home, have some health issues, and an anxiety disorder. I say this because it is part of the situation. 

We took the kittens to the vet and found out they had coccidia. One or our kittens, Wicket, has had chronic diarrhea and we're not sure if it's the coccidia, or something else. We are now on our third round of meds, we have sanitized, steam cleaned, washed, and cleaned poopy butts. We have done everything the vet says, including santizing the litter box every single day which gets exhausting. We have also treated the kittens for eye infections, upper respiratory infections, worms, and fleas, which they have had, and we're currently de-fleaing our house. It has been exhausting. Meanwhile, they are still in our bedroom, and I have to admit, it has weighed heavy on my nerves. We have had to keep them separated from our cat Jade. 

Meanwhile, Jade hissed and growled at the kittens from the start. She actually got a UTI from the stress and caught an upper respiratory at the same time. We had to force feed and medicate her to get her better. She almost died, but now she is on the mend. The vet bills are getting expensive, and we seem to have nothing but bad luck since we got the kittens.

In the meantime, we have tried scent swapping, supervised play through the door (which does distract Jade sometimes from hissing and growling), and some not-so-successful introductions. Jade isn't a treat cat and only eats when no one is around, so we can't feed them together. Additionally, since our kitties have another cold and we're not sure after two months the coccidia is gone despite all the hard core sanitation and medication, we haven't had a chance to make proper introductions. I have had a bit more time away from work to try some behavior introductions, but Jade is still hissing and growling after two months. 

This is affecting my nerves since I'm prone to anxiety and I'm trying to stay positive, but I have gotten sick myself in the last week and a half from the strain, work, and stress of all of this. This has turned our lives upside down. I finally decided I might want to re-home, but my husband doesn't. He works long hours away from home, but he has helped so much in medicating, sanitizing, and caring for the kitties, including making sure Jade gets extra attention and knows we love her. My nerves are on edge, and I feel trapped in this situation because I don't know if Jade will accept the kittens. We have gotten the Feliway (whatever the other brand is called) but it's just not helping much. 

Jade will sit outside the door and when I open it, hiss and growl at the kittens. She will stop something when we do through-the-door playing and she growls more if we bring one out and hold it (we don't let them near her). This has gone on for two months with little progress. All the bad luck, the coccidia, medicating, lack or personal space, constant work, and constant trying to give all the cats attention is getting to me. Like I said, I know the realities of adopting a cat, but I never had anything close to this stressful, and we don't have another room to put them in other than our master bedroom/bathroom. Did anyone have an especially difficult case where you had to rehome, and if your spouse was against it, how did you convince them? I don't make this decision lightly. And if you were able to make progress over a long period of time, what did you do, how did it work, and how much time did it take to get your older cat to accept them? I feel like a prisoner in my own home, and I have never re-homed a cat. I feel terrible and it's affecting my health. 

Breathe! I know what anxiety can feel like. Stay positive and hopefully you will get some awesome input from some experienced cat owners. I brought two kittens home 3 years ago. I had two cats and the one never took to the kittens. She did basically the same thing your Jade did. The kittens are grown and now they hate her and beat her up when the opportunity arises. Because of kitty Prozac, different feeding rooms, and some play therapy they are happier cats. Since everybody has been so sick give it some more time. They aren't feeling good and little jade is probably very scared. Keep them separate and don't even try to Introduce them for another two weeks at least! give kitty some breathing room. Let her get used to the new situation. Love her and see if the vet will give her some kitty Prozac. Cats are very emotionally responsive and the more anxious you get the more anxious kitties will get. Can you do some relaxation yoga? Do it where Jade is and let her cuddle you and watch you. Seriously, it seems ridiculous.... But your mood affects Jade's mood. Get the itty bitty kitties all better and if all doesn't go well in a couple of months then think about re-homing. I just think it could still all work out. Good luck! Please let me know what happens.

Is the Coccidia cured in the kittens yet? If not, I suggest you ask your vet for Ponazuril. It cures it in just a couple of doses!

Once the kittens are cured of Coccidia your daily life will be easier, and the kittens will be able to come out of your bedroom.

I don't have any experience with this subject but I was recently watching this particular series on Youtube where the person (who has a lot of experience with cats) was recording, documenting and explaining how he was introducing kittens/younger cats to an older Bengal Cat. You can watch these videos I am sure you may be able to pick up some of the body language of Jade and understand what she wants or when things are about to get hostile for you to intervene.

Also the person is really good at explaining things as they are happening. It is like watching Planet Earth but inside a house. Here is the link.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZ6QFelTqcM346vUJqOXBj4HBJjIAHY5O

We have given three rounds of Ponazuril over the course of six weeks. Not sure if the third one took, since it's too soon to tell. I'm almost in the hospital at this point with the toll this has taken on me, so we are seriously and reluctantly considering rehoming the kittens. I'm too exhausted to keep doing all this and it's destroying my health. I already have health issues as it is.

It sounds like rehoming may be best. Ideally, the two kittens should stay together.

Do you know of anyone who might want them? Or do you have a no-kill rescue in your area that does good work?

Good luck FireJade. Maybe re-home those babies. I do wish you all the luck in the world. It is so stressful having sick cats and not getting along. I am in tears myself over my boy having a constant UTI.

 Life can sure get trying and I am proud that you have "hung in there"  - you are certainly facing some extreme challenges!  You might consider alternative medicine for Jade, especially considering her gingivitis. I personally have not used any of the online veterinarians but maybe your area has a holistic vet somewhere that you could consult with (my great-grandfather was a Native healer, so my family has a history of using herbs in addition to modern medicine)...you could research and then ask about certain supplements, such as coQ-10, slippery elm, marshmallow root and L-lysine... for yourself, you might consider and research Lemon Balm and Catnip.  Prayers and vibes that things get better for you all 

Thanks for the good wishes. It has been hell, but not the kitties' fault, but sometimes one has to consider their own health too. My husband is taking rehoming them hard, but I think it might be the best thing. I'm sad too, but also need to think what is best for the babies with Jade not accepting them.